I have been spending a lot of time at the gym, specifically Orangetheory. Many articles will tell you different statistics about how many people give up on their News Year Resolutions within 2/4/6 weeks, but no matter what you read, that means the people still sticking around on February 17th are likely there for the long haul. And unfortunately… I HATE SOME OF Y’ALL.
Here are a few categories of people I wish would quit the gym.
Unnecessary Noise People
Why? Honestly, is it necessary? Because I see you lifting half the weight as me, and there is no reason for you to be grunting. If your weight choice is actually so difficult that your body releases an uncontrollable sound every time, perhaps you need to scale back. Now, let’s talk a little about jumping noises, too. I do not mean the actually sound of jumping. I mean the tiny little yelp that is 100% unnecessary every time you jump side to side or forward and back. There is someone who does this every class. I (kindly) call her “bird sex girl” because it sounds like a teeny tiny parakeet having vigorous reproductive fun for 30 seconds at a time. Once, I was on the treadmill as it was going on, and I thought it was a malfunction on my treadmill and the belt was coming loose but no, bird sex on the floor behind me.
People Who Won’t Swallow Their Water
You heard it here first: water is for hydration. Groundbreaking. Things water is not for: stagnant mouth-holding. Teeth-cleaning. Swishing around. This one is just extra disgusting to me. Why are you walking around the studio with your mouth full of bacteria-laden liquid? It makes no sense. What if someone accidentally knocks you? What happens to the water, then? Just take the water in your mouth and swallow it. This requires no additional explanation.
Every-Weight-In-This-Gym-Is-Mine People
It’s happened to me too – the coach explains an exercise, and you realize you want a 20-pound weight, but your rack doesn’t have one. What do you do? Look around, maybe ask a neighbor to borrow, or just attempt a lower weight with more reps or a higher weight with less reps. What do you not do? Go to someone else’s weight rack and just grab a few. Do you have no home training? If something is not yours, you ask permission. With a “please” and a “may I?” I learned that in kindergarten playing “Mother, may I?” The second these people hit the weight floor it’s like all common courtesy leaves their mind as they are only thinking “MUST FIND A 20-POUND DUMBELL ASAP.” Come on, guys, be normal.
Chatty Cathys
Surprisingly, this is usually the men. They come with their bros and love to just ham it up picking the largest weights on the rack, and usually do the exercises incorrectly. You may be curious how they are doing the exercise wrong when the coach demos every single exercise and little video-people are also demo-ing on the screens all around the room. Well… it’s because they’re too busy chit-chatting to watch a demo, and they think they know best. Don’t get me wrong, I love to work out with a friend. It’s way more fun to have a buddy in class, to shoot “kill me” looks at them when the coach casually throws 10 burpees into a workout. I even sing along to the playlist (often) and congratulate my treadmill-neighbors when they hit a top speed on an all-out. But don’t talk over a demo, it’s disrespectful to the coach and the other participants.
Forrest Gump
Run, Forrest, Run!!! But actually, please don’t. One of the main tenets of Orangetheory is that you’re supposed to keep your heart in the orange zone, not run as fast and as hard as you can the entire time. Each day’s template is designed to maximize your effort and include recoveries. The coach should not need to come over to you 6 times to tell you to stop running. Usually in class while you are walking, the coach is speaking and explaining the next block. If you are running, your treadmill is loud and no one else can hear. And who are you really showing off to? No one cares and it is not a race. There are no medals. If you really want to run nonstop, there are miles and miles of street throughout New York City. In fact, the studio is only one block from Central Park! SEE YA.
The Ones Who Forgot Their Shirts
I admit, most of this is jealousy. I wish I had A. the confidence to not wear a shirt in public and B. the boobs to carry it off. I will be honest, my jealousy distracts me. I love a good matching gym set, but when I just see boobs out of the corner of my eye, it’s hard to look away. I can’t even shame though because honestly, they usually look good. Maybe after all of these weeks at Orangetheory I’ll feel confident without a shirt, too. And the best part – it’s less laundry!
Smelly People
I understand we all didn’t leave our houses for over a year. At home, it didn’t matter if you stank. No one was there to judge you. All the way back in July 2020, they reported that deodorant sales plummeted and ice cream sales soared. Maybe you never raised your arms at home because you sat at your laptop all day. Maybe you didn’t realize that your dog stopped hanging around by your desk. But you absolutely need to be self-aware again if you plan on working out vigorously in close proximity to other humans. A mask can only help incrementally. Unless the entire membership of Orangetheory gets symptomatic Covid and collectively loses their sense of smell simultaneously, you absolutely must do something about it. And until you do, I will give you the stink eye (literally) every time you do an overhead press.
There are probably some annoying people I missed, let me know in the comments.
I am officially addicted to my Peloton. How addicted? Well, I’m currently on a train to Philadelphia and not only am I typing a blog about it, but I’m thinking about how much I miss my bike already. I made sure I did my core workout and cycling class before I got on the train. And I’m already excited about showing my mom all of the classes on the app. Also, I almost switched my trip because I found out it was Peloton Homecoming this weekend and I was going to miss it.
My Peloton arriving at my door!
It has welcomed me since Day 1.
Me, sweaty on my bike (and shirtless as always)
Even if you are not a pelo person, unless you live under a rock, you definitely know about it. It’s every other commercial on Youtube and Hulu. And you probably know the age-old joke, “how do you know someone has a Peloton? … they’ll tell you.” However, it didn’t always used to be like that. I started going to Peloton class in 2016 in person in the studio! This was WAY before the pandemic and I loved it even back then. In fact, I even wrote a blog about it! Actually, I wrote two from when I rode in the showroom in LA on a work trip. A lot has changed since then. It’s become much more bougie and the production value has increased. The instructors wear FULL makeup and matching Peloton clothes now, and they have bulked up and multiplied. Hundreds of thousands of more people have bikes. But the main reasons I fell in love with it still stand: the bike is super high quality, the community’s motivating, and the playlists are FIRE.
Pre-pandemic, people asked me if I’d ever buy a bike and I said I would never buy one in NYC but maybe if I moved. This was because of the availability of high-quality classes within proximity. But with Covid and studio closures, I really missed spin class. When I got my bike in February, it had been 11 months since I had been on a bike!
Before I took the plunge (the bike is $1800 plus $39/month subscription cost), I did a lot of research. I never take any purchases lightly, but even more than the cost, I wanted to love it. I had a few friends who went the alternative route, buying a regular bike from Amazon and then getting the cheaper Peloton membership at $12/month and riding that way. But the instructors teach to the Peloton bike specifically, using a “resistance” number that is based on their bike. When you take a class on demand, it pops up on the screen where your resistance should be and the bike also shows where you are within that range. That helps for me because sometimes I zone out on what the instructor is saying and I miss the cue. Ok, that happens a lot because I’m singing and dancing. Pretty much every class. I absolutely LOVE the music! I pick my classes by instructors who I know have the same taste in music as me. But Peloton also lets you preview all of the music beforehand. Most times I like a quick overview of the artists but I like to be surprised by the full playlist. They also have artist series, which is so fun. Last week I did the Usher ride and was jamming out the whole time. I’ve done Lauryn Hill, Beyonce, Monica v. Brandy, and many more. I have a favorite instructor (#TeamCody), but I dabble with a lot of others depending on my mood. I even did a barre class recently because it was a hip hop playlist. I usually hate barre but I sort of forgot because I was busy jamming to Trina.
My fav instructor #XOXOCody
Club Bangers with Alex, always a hard class.
Not my favorite instructor but sometimes I switch it up.
Back when I could spin with my friends IRL!
All photos from 2017!
Another reason I’m obsessed with Peloton: the STATS! Peloton keeps track of every one of your workouts, your averages, your PRs (personal records), and you are constantly racing yourself. I am a huge stats nerd and this is one of my biggest motivators. I love to see how well I can do in a class. I am not a competitive person, but when I’m having an off day and I’m feeling unmotivated, seeing that I still burned 300 calories in a low impact class gives me a great sense of accomplishment. 300 more than zero!
I have also found that the different class lengths have completely changed my mindset around workouts. Pre-pandemic, I felt like I wasn’t getting in a good workout unless I did at least an hour at the gym. But sometimes now I am not motivated, or my legs are sore, or I’m just having a bad day. I can hop on the bike for a 20-minute low impact ride between meetings or at 5:30 and I’m still showered by 6. Also, I always feel better after. Just yesterday I made a call for work. He said he couldn’t talk but asked if I could call back in 15 minutes. I said sure, popped on a 10-minute core workout, then called him back.
Speaking of core workouts, I never used to do them because I was scared and intimidated, but the app has so much content that I have been tempted to try a lot of new things. Last month, I did a challenge with Matty Maggiacamo called March Maggic, and it was 5 days of 20-minutes strength workouts all month, with different muscle groups every day. The 20-minute workouts seemed very easy to fit into my life (sometimes after a cocktail, oops), and I did 400 minutes of strength that I never would have done. In April, I did a program called “Crush Your Core” with Emma Lovewell. Did I feel like I crushed my core? No. I crushed my ego and I felt weak as hell. But I did do 2 1-minute planks on Wednesday and I definitely couldn’t do that a month ago.
The main reason I got a Peloton versus a “faux-loton” is because I wanted to spin with my friends! I miss my gym community SO MUCH. And since the pandemic, a lot of my old cycling peeps have gotten Pelotons. I have multiple group chats on Facebook and Instagram where we plan to take certain rides together, or do a long 100-minute ride on a Sunday. I love seeing my friends “on the leaderboard” and giving them incessant high fives. There’s nothing better than being there to witness a friend scoot by you and achieve a PR. (#HighFive!!!) There is even an option to video chat while the class is going on, but I haven’t quite mastered that yet. Plus, I’m usually wearing a sports bra and no shirt (why bother, I’m in my bedroom!) so I don’t love my friends checking in on my sweaty self.
Can you guess which day in February I got my bike?
An example of a Sunday Stack with friends. Many classes in a row! Lots of cals burned and high fives given.
The weird thing about my Peloton obsession is, I got the 3-month free trial of the Peloton app when I was in Texas and I only did 3 classes in 3 months. Now, it’s normal for me to do 3 classes in a day! I’m not sure what changed, but I love the variety. I also feel a bit more like my normal life living in my own apartment, so I can prioritize my workouts more than I could in Texas when I wasn’t living in my own space. I’ve done 206 workouts since I got the bike on February 9th: 112 cycling classes, 50 strength classes, 39 stretch classes, and a few outdoor runs and walks.
I was nervous I wouldn’t get my money’s worth, but that is certainly not a worry anymore. I put the bike in our bedroom so it is literally the last thing I see before I go to sleep, and the first thing I see when I wake up. The real question is, will I continue to use it after the gyms open back up? I’m not sure but I definitely think so. It’s so easy and I love it. Also, I can ride with my friends all over the country. Do you have a Peloton bike or work out on the app? Drop your LB name in the comments!
Last week I posted about the types of classes and instructors that annoyed me, but this week, I am going to write about something more positive and more useful – the workouts I love!
Specifically, below I will link you to my favorite instructors and classes, and I’ll give you the quick rundown for why they are simply the best during quarantine. This post is a doozy, I apologize for my verbosity. Bookmark it and come back to it when you’re ready to work out!
RECAP from last week. Things you will not find in my recommendations: instructors who yell at you or call you out. Things you will find: positive rays of light with fun, engaging workouts and BOMB playlists. Here we go!
When to find him: 5 pm ET, varies by week but usually always Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and they stay up on his IG for 24 hours after. After that, you’re out of luck, they aren’t saved anywhere.
What you can expect: The most fun dance party ever. He doesn’t even call it a workout, he calls it a party and that’s exactly what it is. But you will also burn calories, get a sweat on, and have a hell of a time. The party usually lasts 30-40 minutes, begins with a warm-up, and then goes into 4-5 semi-choreographed routines. They include moves like “sprinkler,” “Tiger King,” “Robot,” and “Clap for the doctors cheer for the nurses.” There are also more conventional moves like grapevines. He has a few signature phrases like “bake those cakes, put those cakes in the oven” (aka squats) and “pump it for Jesus” (aka body rolls).
His wardrobe is UNMATCHED. I’m talking rainbow EXTRAVAGANZA. Crop tops, cutoff shorts, and neon leotards. And every live usually concludes with a wig-change and confetti. There are rainbow flags, capes, fans, disco balls, you name it. It is a legit CELEBRATION.
My favorite part of his workout is his ATTITUDE. OMG y’all, Mark comes to SLAY. His huge laugh makes me laugh. He smiles the entire times as he switches sunglasses 7 times. He tells us “you are enough,” “you are KILLING it.” He is very honest about mental health and sometimes admits when he is having a hard day. He says “it’s ok to not be ok,” and always reminds us to “be gentle to ourselves.” There are no expectations. He always says that if you feel like just watching and sitting on the couch, that’s ok too. But within 3 minutes, you’ll be up because his energy is contagious.
I should warn you he’s usually 5-7 minutes late, but y’all, he’s doing this FOR FREE so I cut him some slack.
This reminds me, his workouts are 100% free but he mentioned his Venmo/Paypal for the first time last week. Since his parties are the best part of my day and I have danced with him about 45 times since quarantine began (he used to have dance parties 7 days a week), I sent him a donation. It is by no means expected but if you feel inclined, I’m sure he would appreciate it. The photo below is all from one single dance party. And it wasn’t even all of his costume changes!
When to find her: IG Live is sporadic whenever she feels like popping on (more on that below), but her subscription and Youtube videos are available whenever.
What you can expect: Positivity and smiles that you can’t help but smile along to. Specifically, she is known for her dance cardio workouts and jump rope workouts. Her tagline is “Jump Skip Smile” and she does just that. She has recently gone a bit viral because of her unfortunate circumstances – her husband, a famous Broadway actor Nick Cordero, was in a coma from Covid-19 for more than a month and he had his leg amputated (Hashtag: #WakeUpNick) The AMAZING news is that he is showing signs of waking up and things are looking up! (Hashtag: #NickIsWOKE) Why do I share this? Because despite her husband’s illness and her 10-month-old, adorable baby named Elvis, she has continued to be positive, and has continued to jump, skip and smile. Her daily Instagram reminders to move our bodies and to not take a single day for granted has been great motivation for me. She never yells, just encourages. And every day that she has great news about her husband Nick, she goes on Instagram Live and teaches fitness classes to “give back” to the world for all of our support. One time she did a 35 minute dance class that I loved so much I did it twice and screen recorded it before it disappeared from her Instagram Story. I’ve done it twice again since then!
She is also known for her “Dancer Arms” series, which I have been doing every day for 3 weeks. Only done to one song (5 minutes or less), I dare you to attempt getting through an entire song without dropping your arms. 3 weeks in and I am FINALLY getting there! You can find them on her IGTV, Youtube or subscription service. Anyone has time for 5 minutes! Sometimes I do it before bed when I’m already in PJs!
Here’s a jump rope workout. She even sells her own ropes that say Jump Skip Smile on the handles.
She has a GoFundMe page for her husband, and I feel like I am giving back to her by subscribing to her workout service. It’s only $9.99/month. To be honest, I haven’t used her subscription much, but I use her Youtube and IGTV videos constantly.
The Fitness Marshall
Where to find him: Youtube for free single song workouts, or you can join the Booty Army (lol) with 60-minute workouts and membership prices go from $4.99/month to $14.99. The more expensive tier includes 60-minute sweat seshes with 15 songs each!
When to find him: Whenever you want!
What you can expect: SUPER cardio and FUN choreographed dances. These are actual dancers so some of the moves may be fast or tricky, but he has a lot of modifications for all fitness level and his energy is amazing! Also, great for all body types and fitness levels, very empowering, and you can just do a single song at a time for a 4-minute cardio blast! He has a few toning videos, too, but he’s mostly known for his cardio.
Here’s a playlist for a “full sweat set” aka 13 songs to make a full workout!
305 Fitness
Where to find it: Mostly Youtube, (search 305 Fitness), but they are EVERYWHERE. Even Tik Tok.
When to find it: LIVE daily at 8 am and 12 pm ET. But they also keep these up on their Youtube channel so you can do them whenever! There are so many videos up there both from before Quarantine taped in their studio, and from recent, usually taped in the founder, Sadie Kurzban’s, backyard. Look out for the cameos when her husband joins her, pretty funny.
What you can expect: Heart-pumping cardio fun and toning. It is usually a combo of 15-20 mins of nonstop cardio, then adding some toning, then a choreographed hip hop section. And they always have BOMB playlists. They do a lot of theme playlists, and usually you can expect some bad words (beware for kids). But they also have some for kids, like today they did a Disney theme! Highly recommend if you want to engage with the instructor in the comments and feel like you’re back at the gym. So many options to join in live!
Katie Austin
Where to find her: Instagram @KatieAustin and Youtube Katie Austin, and she does LOVE Tik Tok, too, but not really for workouts. She also has her own app! There is a 7-day free trial, and then it is $9.99/month. Her Youtube and Instagram are FREE though.
When to find her: Live Schedule varies, but if you go to her IGTV or Youtube, you can find a PLETHORA of workouts in the vault and play them as many times as you want.
What you can expect: On Youtube, she has everything from light body weight toning, abs and booty, to barre, to cardio dance and retro workouts. Her name may sound familiar… remember Denise Austin? Aerobics queen from the 80’s?? Well Katie is her daughter! Denise still looks AMAZING (“all natural!” as Katie always reminds you) and last week for Mother’s Day, they posted daily workout videos together. Speaking of Denise, you can follow her on Youtube, too, for low-impact aerobics and more videos with Katie. My favorite part of Denise’s workouts is her super-throwback phrases like “waistline trimmer” moves and when doing glute toning exercises, she says, “Squeeze!! If you don’t squeeze it, no one else will!” CRINGE but also LOL.
I personally don’t subscribe to Katie’s app, but if you do, you’ll find even more content there including workout videos, a daily workout calendar, recipes, challenges, etc.
Peloton
Where to find it: They have their own app! You can follow workouts on the computer or phone/tablet. Also, they had a 90-day free trial at the start of quarantine but I think it may be back down to 30 days. Take advantage! After that, it is $12.99/month.
When to find it: Classes are available to stream 24/7. The instructors are now streaming live from their homes, but the tech issues abound. I highly recommend their on-demand classes from BC (Before Covid), there are thousands.
What you can expect: Professional quality filming, SUPER fit and attractive instructors, and a little bit of everything!! This is not just about their super expensive bike. They have toning, tabata, stretching, yoga, outdoor coached runs, treadmill workouts, and dance cardio! As you can probably sense from above, I have been mostly doing the dance cardio, but one day I had 10 minutes between calls and did a KILLED HIIT workout. I was panting and dripping by my second call. Many of their workouts require 0 equipment. Perfect for quarantine! The bets part of Peloton is the production value. They literally base their business model from streaming. Their recent classes from instructors’ homes are pretty bad, but the ones from BC are awesome! No Zoom glitches, perfectly clear cuing, and some classes have live DJs spinning!
When to find them: 24/7, or whenever you don’t annoy your downstairs neighbor with your stomping
What you can expect: A workout for your body and your mind. Step is not for the uncoordinated. It is SO fun to be mentally challenged in a workout in quarantine. It is the only way I can take my mind off of the outside world. One hour classes pass in the flash of an eye. Or is that just sweat in my contacts…
But for real, my favorite thing about quarantine has been rediscovering Step. I used to own a step when I lived in Florida, but in my tinyhome aka NYC apartment, it’s not really an option. The first week I “moved” to Texas for quarantine, I considered buying a step and it seemed like a crazy $55 purchase but I took the leap and I have never been more happy with a purchase. I use it at least two times a week, and with Texas getting hotter every day, I will probably use it even more!
My favorite instructor on Youtube is Kat Gates-Buettner. Her advanced routines are SERIOUSLY advanced. I taught step for years and even I am a little confused by them. That said, it’s a great way to make time fly. She also has basic workouts and even did one using a doormat for people without a step in their homes or with bad knees. HIGHLY recommend. There are other instructors with great step routines on Youtube, too, but it may take some culling. Here’s another great one.
I also started using the BurnAlong App because my favorite instructor of all time (and friend), Judy Bremner is on there. BurnAlong has a 30 day free trial, and is $14.99/month after. If you get the free trial or membership, search for her. I used to take her classes at LA Fitness when I lived in Florida, and one of my favorite things about quarantine is taking her classes again! Don’t forget to follow, rate and review, that’s how instructors make money! I watch on my laptop not on my phone so it is easier to see.
If you’ve made it this far, you may have used up all of your time you had set aside to work out today. But bookmark this page and check out the workouts tomorrow or this weekend. Let me know in the comments what you think. Also, let me know if I’m missing any of your favorite workouts! I’m always up to try something new. But remember my ground rules, no yelling, only laughing and sweating.
I write this post while blasting Jason Derulo in my earbuds. You may ask me why. What a great question: A. I’m hiding from construction noise at work. And B. I’m creating a theme playlist for Spin next week! DUH. Next Monday, 3/5/18, all Jason Derulo. I have been teaching fitness classes for more than 11 years, but I haven’t talked about it too much on the blog yet. One of my favorite types of Spin classes to teach is a theme class. Here’s why:
Costumes.Y’all know I love any opportunity to dress up.
The hype. There’s nothing I like more than gloating about my upcoming classes on social media. Like here where I posted on Instagram about my upcoming boy band playlist. Or here where I showed everyone my amazing talent of keeping my “Happy New Year” tiara on my head the whole 60 minutes during my “Top Songs of 2017” playlist. I also tweet about themes in the hopes that the Dodge YMCA will retweet me some day.
Groupies. People love a good theme. Advertising in advance means more people will come. And sometimes I can even get people to create the whole playlist for me! Remember when Tim created a playlist for my Guest DJ Ride?
Easy to make the playlist. I just type “hot” in Spotify and BAM. I have a playlist. Ok it’s not that easy. But it is easier than pulling 15 random songs out of thin air.
Sometimes a theme playlist is based on current events, sometimes it’s an artist I want to highlight, sometimes it’s a trip I’m about to take, sometimes it’s a holiday that is coming up, and sometimes it’s just when the mood strikes me. Like almost every Thursday when I decide to throw in some throwbacks (#TBT, ya know?).
Sometimes my themes are specifically requested, like the Jason Derulo class coming up next Monday, 3/5/18. I am always trying to get people to give me requests, and some of my best themes have been suggested by participants, like Britney v. JT. This particular theme was requested by my best friend, who happens to be a special guest next week. Monday, 3/5/18. (Have I said it enough times yet?)
Here are themes I have used in the past, including links to my Spotify, once I started using it. Feel free to follow my Spotify, or follow those individual playlists if the theme moves you:
Queen Bey. That’s Beyonce for those of you who may be living under a rock.
Top Songs of 2017! That tiara stayed on for the full 60 minutes.
I am always accepting new ideas for Spin class themes, song requests or theme requests. If you have any, leave them in the comments! And if you’re in the Brooklyn area, don’t forget to come to my class, next Monday, 3/5/18, at 7 pm. Wear your Jason Derulo fangirl outfits.
FitForFreeNYC strikes again. This time, in a dance-cardio-sweat-my-butt-off-but-my-face-hurts-more-than-anything-from-smiling way. And it was my favorite price: FREE! BollyX is my new favorite thing. Read through and I will link you to more free classes popping up around NYC through the rest of the year!
Two weeks ago, after my experience with free yoga through FitForFree, I saw another free workout pop-up on Alexa’s instagram, BollyX, and I knew I had to go. When I signed up, I did not know much of what I was getting into, besides that it was a Bollywood-inspired dance cardio class, and that they were “celebrating body empowerment & self love.” I was game right away.
First of all, you guys know I am a wedding-guest-extraordinaire (7 in the past year). But absolutely nothing compares to the Indian wedding I attended four years ago. SHOUTOUT RIMA AND VARUN! They had a horse, the most beautiful bridesmaid saris, but best of all, the DANCING WAS AMAZING. I remember sweating up a storm on the dance floor, killin’ it at all of the moves I had practiced in my room ever since The Pussycat Dolls remade Jai Ho for the movie, Slumdog Millionaire. I have been cultivating my love for Bollywood for years.
Getting to Waterside Plaza was a pain and a half, involving a subway, a crosstown bus, and three queries to three separate security guards and a lifeguard. I felt like I was actually traveling to India. Or at least a quarter of a way across the globe. But ultimately, it was worth it. And I’d definitely do it again. In fact, I already signed up for 3 more classes!!
This class was everything I hoped for AND MORE. Meredith Higgins, a BollyX Global Community Manager, was subbing the class, and she was the BOMB. Check out her Instagram! According to her bio, her motto is “take life by the lady balls and ‘Get Shit Done!’” Hell yes.
It was like Zumba on crack, but with better music. It combined strength, dance, jumping, cardio, body rolls, smiles, and LOTS of shoulder shaking. According to their website, which I didn’t look at until this morning, it’s a high intensity cardio workout with “heart pumping beats of Bollywood,” that make you “feel that muscle burn and unleash your inner swagger.” Spot on. There were a lot of cardio songs, but there was also a song for lower body toning, and one for upper body toning. Those Bollywood stars must have some JACKED shoulders! On their “about” section of the BollyX website, it boasts a 500-800 calorie burn per session. According to my Fitbit, I only burned 415, but I feel like that can’t possibly be true. I was sweating like crazy! And more than anything it was SO FUN. My face hurt from smiling and laughing.
Toward the end of class, we broke into 2 groups and Meredith taught us a “performance” song, where it’s only 90 seconds of choreography, and you’re supposed to give it your all, like you’re leaving it all on the dance floor. We did the routine twice together, then she split us in two, and we performed for each other while clapping along for the other group. Meredith led each of our groups through it, and then we performed it facing the front! You can even see a clip of it in her video here. I, unfortunately, wore neon yellow so you can’t miss me messing up all the moves. But at least I was smiling the whole time! WHAT A BLAST. ABC News did a piece on it too, if you don’t want to watch me, specifically.
Luckily for you, there are pop-up FREE classes throughout the rest of October, November and December in New York and throughout the country! Go to Eventbrite and search for Free BollyX, or click here for the New York ones at Waterside Plaza, where I was!
Check out our awesome boomerang from after class with Meredith, I think we can now be considered BollyPros.
I have been a gym rat for 12 years now, but also, I have basically always been poor. At least since I was 18. As of yet, my mint.com has not saved me the thousands of dollars I had hoped, so meanwhile I’ve perfected the art of joining the gym for free or for a reduced price. Most recently, I was in Pennsylvania helping my mom after she had a hip replacement (full blog on that coming soon), and I needed somewhere to work out for 7 days! So how did I do it? There are two key components: research, and lies. And a bit of persuasion.
The ultimate #winning move for a free gym has been teaching fitness classes. Not only do I get to use the gym for free, but I also get PAID to work out. Clearly this is not an option everyone would like to take advantage of, but if you want to talk to me about becoming a fitness instructor, I’d be happy to chat with you. There are basically only advantages. Anyway, if you don’t want to work out in front of 30 people, and talk the whole time, here are my ways to join a gym for free.
My first place I scope out is always Planet Fitness. Technically, they are $10/month and there is no commitment. However, they have been getting smart recently, and now there is a $69 initiation fee and a $39 annual fee, even if you cancel after one month. So no commitment? More like a commitment of $118 + as many months as you want. No thanks. Every once in a while, though, they waive the fees, and it really is $10/month. So do your research and check if they are running any specials. Also, if you have been a member previously (read: if you have ever paid $10 to them ever in the past), try and sell yourself as a RETURNING member, reinstating your membership. Then they sometimes waive the initiation fee. Of course this is complete and utter bullshit and word-jenga, but it sometimes works. I paid $10 to them 3 years ago when I went to my parents for a week-long Christmas vacation, and therefore, they waived the $69 fee the next time. I’ll take it.
Option Number Two: research and haggling skills. If you learn one thing in this blog post, learn this lesson: absolutely NEVER pay the first prices quoted at any corporate megagym. The first gym where I taught after college was LA Fitness, and it always blew my mind to hear what members were paying. Why? Because it was NEVER the same price! Research is key here; don’t be afraid to ask people what they are paying before you join! It cannot hurt to go into a gym consultation (AFTER USING THE FREE PASS, see below), with some info, so you can say “$50/month?? My friend Linda pays $39.” They can’t dispute that, because it is true! Also, lesson number three as stated above: initiation fees are complete bullshit. Gyms use initiation fees for two purposes, 1. To get more money from people who are afraid to counter it, and 2. So they have something to take away during their “membership drives” without losing any profit. Listen to me here: if you pay a gym initiation fee, you are a sucker. Lesson number four: PRETEND YOU’RE POOR. Or maybe you are poor! If that’s the case, don’t be afraid to say it. They will work with you. Let me reiterate here though, this is for megagyms like LA Fitness and YMCAs. SoulCycle doesn’t give a shit if you’re poor and doesn’t want you there. How will you buy their branded and upcharged lululemon?
My free gym for the week.
If I didn’t take a selfie, did it even happen?
They also got a big kick out of themselves.
Really though, they think they are hilarious.
Next option: new gyms. This is America, the land of the fat and constantly-dieting. Therefore, there are ALWAYS new gyms popping up. Pretty much any gym offers a bargain or free trial pass to get you in the door. Little do they know, you be going OUT the door in a few days, when the trial pass is over. This is where the lies and charm kick in. When I first moved to New York, I didn’t join a gym for 2 months. I was trying to get a gym to hire me to teach, and I didn’t want to waste money on a membership when I knew I would have to cancel once I started teaching. Let me tell you, I did not miss a single day in the gym. Between New York Sports Club’s week free pass, The YMCA’s multiple guest passes, my friends’ free guest passes to Equinox, free first classes at niche studios throughout Brooklyn and Manhattan, I had very toned legs, and a full wallet.
Most recently in Pennsylvania, my mom had heard about a new Anytime Fitness, where her manicurist is a member. I checked them out online and BAM, free 7 day pass. (They also have a Groupon right now! Do your research, guys.) I was only going to be in Pennsylvania for 5 days, so that was perfect. Only catch here, you had to be local. Well guess what, my mom is local, and we still have the last name! (If emoji bf doesn’t step it up, I may be able to use this fact to my advantage forever.) I filled out the form online, used my mom’s address, then I armed myself with a believable and half-true story, and an inquisitive, “I’m trying to decide which gym to join” face. The first day I tried to go to the gym ready to pretend to listen to a pitch, there was no one there. Anytime Fitness is 24/7 for members, but if you’re on a free pass, the manager has to be there to let you in. Although the door said someone would be there until 2 pm, it was 1 pm and the door was locked. As I stood at the door pondering my options, a guy left the gym and held the door open for me. Don’t mind if I do! I walked right in and had a great 2 hour workout. Lesson here: just loiter in front of the door of a gym. Someone will eventually leave.
The next time I went to Anytime Fitness, the manager was there and he showed me around. The whole thing took under 5 minutes. The lesson here: when they ask you if you have questions, it’s ok to say no. The only real question you have after all, is, “when can I start my workout?” As it turns out, I didn’t have to use my well-spun story of lies at all. I told him I had “just come from New York” (true) and when he asked how I heard about the gym, I told him my mom’s manicurist is a member (also true). He didn’t ask for my ID or anything! I had taken my mom’s license, just in case, but it turned out all I needed was my winning smile. 😉 The manager told me that not only would he knock $30 off the initiation fee (again, always tell them you are poor), but also, he said he would extend my free 7 day pass to be 14 days. Dang! I almost slipped and told him it was too bad I’d only be in town for 5. But I just smiled and nodded. Today is my last day in Philly and I’m a little sad to let my 9 remaining free trial pass days go to waste. I used their cable machines, the TRX, the kettle bells, the Open Stride, and even their virtual studio to take a step class. I would actually recommend this place. After some serious haggling, of course, and definitely without an initiation fee.
No frills, but it had everything I needed, and you can’t beat the cost!
If I didn’t take a selfie, did it even happen?
They had this crazy virtual class system with a huge projector.
I took two separate step classes on different days! Not as good as my own, but still.
