Travel

Durham, North Carolina

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WEEKS ago I went to North Carolina for the first time. Since then, I have been to 4 other states, but my travel schedule hasn’t allowed me to keep up with my blogging schedule so I am here to fill you in. The best part about delaying a travel recap blog for weeks is that my memory fades, so I can only give you the Cliff Notes, abridged version of my trip. Trust me, this is better for both of us.

TL;DR: I went to Durham, NC 4 weeks ago for emoji-bf’s cousin’s wedding. The first day I explored alone, I had amazing coffee, tried out a new fitness studio, saw friends I had not seen in a decade, and met their kids (mind. blown). I explored the Duke Chapel and met very nice Uber drivers. I practiced all my professional wedding guest tips, danced a LOT, was very much a token light-skinned person, learned what the Liberian Grand March is, and I drank a lot.

Some highlights:

Let’s start with something I’m sure my emoji bf would consider a highlight more than I did. Our flight was delayed, as it ALWAYS is. Emoji-man and I have epically bad flight luck together. It’s basically inevitable that we will be delayed 1-24 hours on at least one leg of any trip we take together. This time, the delay was three hours, so we arrived in to North Carolina at 2:15 am instead of before midnight. At that point, I called an Uber. I knew we were staying at the Marriott City Center, so we waited ten minutes (not bad for 2:30 am in NC), and we hopped in our Uber. We arrived at the hotel to find that they did not have a reservation. I was not pleased. It was after 3 am and I looked to emoji bf with a large emoji question mark on my face. He insisted he had made a reservation. Welllllll, turns out it was 100% my fault, because we were staying at the Marriott City Center in Durham, and I had put in the Uber app the closest Marriott City Center, which was 2 minutes closer, in Raleigh. OOPS. I promptly called another Uber and we finally settled into our room in Durham around 4 am. Emoji bf was sure to tell me multiple times that if it had been his mistake, I would not have been pleased. He won this one, I would have been PISSED.

The next morning I woke up and after a night of sitting in airports and traveling, I was ready to get moving. I had done my research on fitness studios in the Durham area – clearly more in-depth research than I did on where our actual hotel was. I googled “best fitness studios in Durham” and saw that the third studio listed was walking distance from our hotel. Also, I was used to drop-in class prices in NYC being $25-42/class, and I saw that SyncStudio had $14 classes. You couldn’t beat that… I THOUGHT. WRONG! They have a partnership with this thing called ZenRez, where you can get last-minute offers for same day classes, used to fill the classes. I got my class for $9! I booked it on my phone, grabbed my lululemon and my phone (thank goodness for Google maps), and made my way to SyncStudio. The people in the lobby of the hotel thought I was crazy for walking there, but it only took 11 minutes door to door. Suburbanites. Anyway, I went to a TRX Circuit class taught by Kyle, and he used an all-Rihanna playlist. I had a BLAST and I was sore for days! It was an awesome class, only made better by Kyle’s energy and music. I now follow him on Spotify and so should you. We also took an awesome boomerang and gif. Find us trending on Instagram.

I spent the rest of the day exploring Durham. I ate a DELICIOUS panini at Toast, which I discovered from FourSquare. Am I the only one who still uses that? Anyway, it was so good that I actually posted a pic on Instagram of my food, a big no-no. I also had a strange but amazing chocolate habanero cold brew coffee from another FourSquare suggestion, The Parlour. It’s known for its ice cream, but I highly recommend cold brew as an alternative. I walked around for a few hours taking in the city (/village) and discovering amazing murals and street art throughout.

That night, there was a pre-wedding welcome night, but it didn’t start until 10 pm, and I was kindly informed that it would be running on CPT, so we should not arrive before 11:30 pm. That left me with a lot of time, so I arranged a rendezvous with two of my long-lost friends from high school and college. One of the friends, I met from MySpace when he was in the Army and I was in my junior year of high school. Myspace, guys. That’s how long I’ve known him. Anyway, we became best friends throughout college after he left the military, and he now has a wife and child, neither of whom I had met. My second friend I also know from high school, where she was an amazing volleyball player, winning the state championship for the school, and I would chase after balls trying to keep up with her in gym class.  We also went to college together (Go Gators!), where we lived in the same apartment complex and people frequently thought we were the same person. I still don’t understand that. She ALSO now has a husband and a child, neither of whom I have met. I dragged my emoji man to Motorco, which has “college-friendly prices” (quote from emoji’s sister), and we had a fun night reminiscing and catching up on one another’s lives. The best part of traveling the country for weddings is catching up with friends from near and far.

 

Saturday started out rough because I had way too much to drink at the college reunion, and then even more at the pre-wedding 11:30 pm gathering. But no matter, I went to the hotel gym to sweat it out with all of emoji’s family, sans emoji-bf himself. Emoji’s older sister challenged me to a plank-off, where I proceeded to sweat piles of gin onto the floor. After a shower, I dragged emoji out of the hotel to explore the Duke Chapel, as suggested by a friendly Uber driver the night prior. The architecture was breathtaking, and it was fun to be on a college campus on a game day, even though we didn’t get close to the stadium.

After Duke, we went back to the hotel to clean ourselves up for the wedding. I was impressed with us. Sometimes I forget how I look when my hair isn’t soaked in sweat. Gross but true. The ceremony took place in a Baptist church, where I was almost definitely the only one thoroughly confused by everything going on. Thankfully, I know enough about weddings to smile and wait for the vows, which made me cry, as usual. Then, after the ceremony, I was instructed to stay back for what is the #1 most awkward thing for every plus one at every wedding ALWAYS: PHOTO TIME. Do I go in the photo? Do I not? Is 2.5 years of a relationship enough to get a spot? Or do I wait until I have an engagement ring? Or a wedding band? What is “family?” In this case, it is extra difficult because I don’t exactly blend in with the rest of the family. The last thing I want is to be in a photo that the bride and groom do not want me to be in. I think my heart rate was elevated 20 BPM from the stress. OY VEY! (Am I allowed to say that in a Baptist church??) Ultimately, I did not go in the photos, but then was dragged in for the last 3.

Next up: The reception!! I gave you my tips earlier this week about how to rock a reception, and I practiced all of my tips religiously. The second I stepped in the room, I found the open bar. Sure enough, there was already a line. I parked myself in line, ordered two drinks, and learned the bartender’s name. The rest of the night went smoothly from there. The speeches were short and sweet, and the entrances of the bridal and groom’s parties were epic, each with their own dance moves. I hit the dance floor myself and I even learned and did the Liberian Grand March. One of emoji’s cousin’s explained the Grand March to me, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had done it before. After a few more minutes, it dawned on me that it was simply a combination of the Conga line and the Israeli Folk Dance Yesh Lanu Tayish. Basically, years of South Florida Bar Mitzvahs prepared me for this specific combination of dances and this exact day. I knew I had to be training for something. The night was a BLAST, and luckily, the reception was across the street from our hotel so we could stumble back and pass out. I stuffed a few extra of the party favors, Dove chocolates, in my purse for the plane the next day, (that little remnant of Jewish grandmother in me never ceases to surprise me), and I headed out.

Only 1 day left until The Last Wedding of 2017. I’ll keep you posted!

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Long Legs and other Personal Problems

How To: Professional Wedding Guest

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In the past 3 years, I have attended so many weddings, I call myself a professional guest. In the past 2.5 years, I’ve had emoji bf on my arm, and we have gotten it down to a science. This upcoming Saturday, we are attending yet another wedding, and in honor of it being the last one on the books for 2017, I am doing all of my readers a favor and imparting my sage advice.

Never, I repeat NEVER , agree to be a bridesmaid. Being a bridesmaid is more than the title, it is basically indentured servitude. I know this from watching my friends as they perform their serf duties to the almighty Queen Bride, not from actual experience, since I have ONLY had to do this one time. Being a bridesmaid means a lot of things. For starters, it means you’re going to drop $2 grand on the occasion, at the very least. You are required to be at all events, you need to fly to a destination bachelorette, you have to go to the bridal shower, you have to buy a godawful dress you will never wear again and it will unquestionably make you look like a rotund banana, you have to shell our hundreds of dollars for hair and makeup, and of course, you have to smile the whole time and lie to the bride. Am I exaggerating? Maybe a tiny bit. But if you are a bridesmaid, you should probably just declare bankruptcy and block off all of your weekends for the six months leading up to the wedding. Also, being a bridesmaid means being in all of the photos. This takes away from valuable open bar time. Which brings me to my next point.

Always find the open bar as soon as you enter the reception. This is possibly the best advice I can give you. Keep your eye on it, and always know if the line is getting long. If you are assigned a table, but not a seat, it is important to position yourself at the table so you can view the line at the bar at all times. You will thank me for this.

Take selfies. If you didn’t take selfies, did the wedding even happen? Also, you can take many photos of the bride and groom, but they hire professionals for that. Don’t waste your time. Take one photo of the happy couple, then stick with the selfies.

Learn the bartender’s name. Also tip him, but knowing his name is key. Back when I was a wedding guest novice, I was embarrassed when the bartender remembered me and my drink order. Now that I am a professional, I realize how useful this is. Why waste a valuable second explaining to the bartender that your vodka soda should have a splash of grenadine? This is a second that you could be burning calories on the dance floor!

Always have two drinks on your table before the toasts begin. Once you’re on a first name basis with the bartender, this should not be difficult. You should be on a first name basis before the toasts, if all goes well. The worst thing at weddings is being stuck at the table during interminable speeches with no alcohol and no clandestine way to escape to the bar. Once the toasts begin, you are trapped at your table for 10-60 minutes. Always be prepared. I learned that in Girl Scouts.

Dance!! Nobody likes a downer wedding guest. Also, no one is judging your dance moves. If someone is sitting at his/her table judging you, it’s only because he/she is jealous of your moves. Plus, killin’ it on the dance floor is a good way to get into a lot of wedding photos, without having to be in the wedding party. Load up on the liquid courage (it’s FREE!) and get it moving. Limbo, electric slide, wobble, even a little Mambo #5. It’s all a blast. Also, the more Fitbit steps you get after midnight, the less you have to get the next day. Which will come in handy, since you will undoubtedly have a slammin’ hangover (see tips above about boozing it out).

Bring Flip Flops. This goes hand in hand with dancing, and it’s the “adult” version of bringing socks to Bar/Bat Mitzvahs as a 13-year-old. How can you break it down on the dance floor if your feet hurt!? If you bring alternative footwear, you’re sure to have a better time.

Photobooth. The more props the better. Photobooth pics are better party favors than anything that the happy couple will actually give out. Also, the photo quality in photobooths is usually better than a phone camera. Some of my favorite wedding gems of the professional guest couple, (that’s us), have been from photobooths!

Borrow Dresses. It’s inevitable that you will be in photos. And it’s also inevitable that you will have worn every dress in your wardrobe at least once if you go to as many weddings as I do. Luckily, I have a best friend who wears the same size! I often shop her closet when I am out of options in my own. Other possible options for cheaper dresses: TJ Maxx or Rent the Runway. But I am a bigger fan of borrowing because it’s my favorite price: free!! Another option which may not work for everyone – wear your prom dress! I did this for a formal wedding last year and it was a huge hit (See: the feature photo and the first and last photobooth photos above.) 10 years later, still rocking it! It finally paid off being overweight in high school; it’s a bit too big on me now!

Buy a gift off the registry or give cash. Never go off-script here. I’ll never forget when my sister received what everyone thought was an ashtray for her Bat Mitzvah. Now, logically, of course we did not think any of the guests would have purchased smoking paraphernalia for a 13-year-old, whether or not she was officially a “woman” in the eyes of the Jewish faith. But still, who would buy a mini silver tray for anyone, anyway? This is a tidbit I think about whenever I go to buy a wedding gift. If they wanted a small silver tray, they would have registered for it. And if they didn’t register for it, guess what, they didn’t want it. Don’t be a hero and find something obscure they must have “forgotten” to register for. They didn’t forget. Or, give them some cold hard cash. It doesn’t have to be enough to “cover your plate” anymore, but don’t give $20 either, only your 90-year-old grandmother can get away with that.

I will report back next week after the Final Wedding of 2017 to tell you if all of my tips worked out. As of right now, I only know two engaged couples, so here’s hoping I don’t have a single wedding in 2018! My wallet will thank me.

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