Travel

Florida and Friends

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3 weeks ago I went to Florida to visit my friends. I left a part of my heart in South Florida, where I grew up, but I never seem to make it there to visit more than once a year. Ever since my family moved to Pennsylvania, I have felt a bit like a kid with separated parents – splitting my time and my holidays between my blood-family and my second-family, my Florida friends! I won’t recount my entire trip here because it would take forever, and also because it was mostly LOTS of drinking, but I will give you a list of some highlights:

  • Rosh Hashana dinner with my friend’s family at Seasons 52. If you don’t know what Seasons 52 is, it’s basically a calorie-conscious restaurant. This one happens to be in East Boca Raton, which means it’s the most calorie-conscious franchise around. The whole menu has the calories on it (luckily the cocktails don’t), and you’re likely to hear nobody order directly off of the menu. It’s more taboo to order something directly off the menu than it is to get a wedding dress off-the-rack. GASP. You absolutely must always use the menu only as a starting-off point, then make sure to make at least 4 substitutions, and order at least 2 of the 4 ingredients on the side. Light on the dressing. 3 drops, not 4. My friend ordered a Bourbon Bramble with Vodka, and apologized 3 times for the liquor substitution. Our server promptly told us that it was the simplest order he had all day.
  • The beach. I love the beach. Waves, warm water, sand in my butt. Ok, maybe not the last one.
  • Chivalry! I almost forgot the concept after living in Florida for so long. I think I may have touched on this in my blog about things I forgot about Florida, but I had to mention it again here. Actually, maybe I didn’t mention it. But you should still read that blog. There were so many chairs given up for me that I lost count. And not only are drinks drastically less expensive in Florida, but they are often free because guys buy them for you. What a fantastic world we live in.
  • Visiting a Rothschild mansion. One of my friend’s friends is the caretaker for an amazing mansion owned by the Rothschilds. They only rent it out 5 days/month, and the rest of the time it is hers! We went over there and got the grand tour. And took photos, because duh.
  • Bru’s Room. I freaking love that place. I dream about their mozzarella wedges. I’m actually surprised I didn’t take a photo of them. I’ll let you imagine them instead – picture this: Mozzarella Sticks, but larger, with more cheese, and stretchier. And then more delicious warm cheese. And did I mention that Bru’s Room also has $5 Skyy doubles? I think I made money just traveling to Florida.
  • Pollo Tropical (I love food, ok?). The main highlight of my trip (besides, of course, seeing my friends), was going to Pollo Tropical. Not just going, but bribing my Uber driver to take me there after a 5-hour-long Happy Hour. I told our nice driver that I would order him anything off the menu if he would take this detour for us. The max price on that menu is $7.99 so I was confident I’d come out on top for this deal. Sure enough, after ordering 4 TropiChops (the leftovers make for a FANTASTIC hungover breakfast), our Uber driver delivered us to our final destination. Best part??? Uber sent me an email the next morning, apologizing to me for my ride taking “longer than expected” and giving me $5 off my next ride!! That TropiChop paid for itself! God is good! And that curry mustard… y’all, I think there is crack in it. You heard it here first.
  • Watching Florida Football with Floridians. New Yorkers are a lot of things, but they are not big college football fans. They just don’t get it. We spent a full 12 hours eating and watching college football. There’s nothing like it!
  • Brunch: seeing my friends and their kids. It’s crazy to think that my partying friends now have little offspring running around depending on their parenting. But as it often is with kids, they grow up so much in so little time! It’s fun to see them grow up, and I always hope they remember who I am. I got to see everyone at a farewell brunch on the beach and it was amazing.
  • Randomly running into people from high school. Moving to a different state, it’s rare I run into people I have known for a long time. It does happen, though, this city is big, but it’s also small. Anyway, I went to a bar in Delray Beach and I happened to know both of the bartenders! One of them went to my high school, and our last names had us seated next to each other in almost every class. The other one was roommates with my first boyfriend when I was 19.
  • Speaking of boyfriends, the best part of my trip was having my emoji-faced bf surprise me by coming for a day and a half! I was hoping he’d be able to come to Florida to meet all of my friends, but he had been so busy with work, I didn’t think he’d be able to make the trip. Sure enough, the first morning I was in Florida, he told me he had a surprise for me, and told me to check his Google Calendar (yes, we share calendars, we are that couple). First, I thought he meant that he was getting the new iPhone (he had an appointment at the apple store), but then he said “no, look at Saturday!” and I saw that he was going to wake up at the crack of dawn to get in to Fort Lauderdale at 9:30 am. What a guy. I loved having him there, and I’m so glad he got to meet everyone from my formative years. He even got a taste of the South Florida club.
  • Visiting my best friend’s mom. Although some of my friends have left to different corners of the USA, some of their families still live in Florida. I always try to fit in a visit or two. This time, I got to see my bff from high school’s mom and she got to meet my emoji-bf for the first time! He even revealed his face to her. Unfort. you guys don’t get to see it here.

Every time I leave Florida, I feel nostalgic for the days when I went out every night to bars and of course, out dancing until dawn at the club – all those Fitbit steps before there was a such thing as a Fitbit! But my hangover on the last day of the trip proved to me that I may be a bit older than I was back then. It was nice to get back to New York and lay in bed for a week. That is, until my next trip/wedding in North Carolina this past weekend. Blog about that coming soon!

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Travel

Forgotten Florida Facts

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I lived in Florida for 13 years, and in the 7 years since I left, I forgot a few things. I was lucky enough to spend last weekend (and Rosh Hashanah) in Florida, like 7 million other old Jews, and it reminded me of these unique Floridian things:

  • Beach towels. Bring them everywhere. Do not fret if you forget them, every other person coming to the beach will have a few extras in the trunk of their car. Or an old sheet. You can see from the feature photo that we had enough towels for three of us to lay on. Miss you already, ladies!
  • Publix, Where Shopping is a Pleasure. They now have Wawa popping up all over Florida and you all know I have a special place in my heart for a hoagie. But absolutely nothing beats a Chicken Tender Pub Sub.
  • Publix bags. Everyone has them. Dog poop. Kitty litter. Sweaty clothes. Wet swimsuits. They are so multi-purpose. And you always knows where to find them. Under the sink! In every single house, without fail.

  • Humidity. There’s no such thing as walking in Florida. It’s basically just swimming. Don’t even bother owning a blow-dryer or a straightening iron. Every minute you spend trying to do your hair is just another minute of your life you will never get back. And your hair will frizz out within 10 seconds of leaving the house anyway. Don’t bother.
  • Concealed carry. And I’m not even talking about guns, I’m talking about booze. Since everyone needs to drive to get places, they can’t drink til they get there! Gotta pack mini bottles of liquor in the purse. Then Uber home, of course. What did we do before Uber!?!
  • “Season.” If you are from South Florida, I don’t need to say any more. For you non-Floridians, no, I’m not talking about winter, spring, summer, or fall. One of my friends works at a country club, and she is off for 6 weeks right now, “between summer and season.” This is snowbird season. When the entire 70+ year-old-population of the northeast USA and Canada descends on Florida. This is also sometimes known as Q-tip season, so-named for the white puffy fluffy tops-of-heads you can see barely visible above the steering wheels. Wear your seat belt year-round, but DEF wear it from October-March.
  • The worst drivers in the world. I’m not just talking about the Q-Tips. Drivers in Florida are horrific. I mean, we don’t even have to parallel park to pass the driving test. And we get our licenses when we are 16. And keep them through death. Basically, anyone can pass the test. At least by the second time they take it (cough cough, me).
  • Bipolar weather. The weather in Florida is CRAZY. Unlike anywhere else. One may infer that by saying “bipolar,” I mean that it changes often. Perhaps I should call it multiple personality weather. Meaning it’s a million different things AT THE SAME DAMN TIME. Totally mind-blowing. I remember when I was growing up in Florida, sometimes it was raining in the front of the house but not in the back. I am not exaggerating. On my first day in Florida last weekend, we were driving to the beach and we got caught in a terrible rain storm. So bad that people were driving 15 MPH on I-95. It takes a pretty bad storm for Florida drivers to slow down. See above. Anyway, in any other place, you’d probably abandon your beach plans in this weather, but in Florida, we looked east and realized it was actually beautiful and sunny by the beach. Sure enough, when we got to the beach it was hot, sunny, and I got a great tan.
  • Font size on cell phones. This goes hand in hand with the median age in Florida. People cannot see. If they haven’t had cataracts surgery yet, they probably should. Absolutely nothing that people write on their cell phones is private in Florida, because it can be seen from a mile away. And this is coming from someone with -10 vision. I could read the old man’s text to his son from 4 seats down at the bar. He was wishing him a Happy New Year.

Shanah Tovah betches 😊 NEXT YEAR IN BOCA!! (and more about my trip later this week!)

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Travel

Down The Shore

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On Saturday, I took my emoji-faced boyfriend on a day trip adventure “down the shore” i.e. to the beach in New Jersey. This term is well-known in the northeast, and even the New York Times recognizes it as a thing. Other terms like Bennies and Shoebies are less well known, but well-documented. We were gone for 16 hours, and we returned with memories of Wawa Hoagiefest, full bellies of fresh clams (both of us), very sunburned legs (mostly just me), and salt in our hair.

Our adventure started at 8 am. During the summer, there are select NJ Transit express trains to Bay Head on Saturday mornings, so we wanted to make sure we got on the 9:01 am train! We had to first stop at the bodega, because you know what they say, “never leave home without a bodega sausage egg and cheese.” #DietStartsThisWeek. After the bodega, we got to the subway to find out that the next train was not coming for 14 minutes. SURPRISE SURPRISE, foiled by the MTA’s “constant service” yet again. We hopped into a cab and made it to Penn Station with plenty of time. The NJ transit was surprisingly reliable compared to the MTA, and we arrived on time!

I haven’t told you the reason for this adventure, but here we go: Wawa towel delivery. Yes, you read that correctly. I dragged my boyfriend on a $30/person train ride down the shore to hand-deliver a Wawa Hoagiefest towel. It was THAT important!!

Backstory: My dad works at Wawa, and before he started working there, he heard they had a cult-like following. However, he had no idea the extent of it. Sure enough, as soon as he started to tell people that he worked for Wawa, their first response, WITHOUT FAIL was “OH MY GOD I LOVE WAWA!” My dad soon realized that he had access to some great perks, like employee benefit drives selling Wawa paraphernalia! As soon as word spread to my friends, they were asking for things left and right. I now have friends in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, Las Vegas, NV, Burbank, CA, and Chadwick Beach, NJ who wait on the edge of their seats for the yearly fundraising drive items. This year, we were lucky enough to have the holiday sale AND an extra Hoagiefest towel sale to benefit Associates in Need.

Rewind 33 Years and Fast Forward to Last Saturday: One of my sister’s friends, Sara, from nursery school 33 years ago, grew up going to the Jersey shore and she has been obsessed with Wawa ever since, a shore staple. She even celebrated her 21st birthday with a 1 am Wawa trip! Needless to say, she needed a Wawa towel. I was happy to be the messenger and hand-deliver the precious cargo, and make a day out of it! Sara picked us up from the train station and our first stop was, OF COURSE, WAWA. We picked up $4.99 hoagies and to my chagrin, they were selling the very towels I came to deliver RIGHT IN THE STORE! WOOPS. I was disappointed, but hey, at least the one I was toting was for a good cause! Also, I got a day at the beach and I got to visit with old friends.

Sara’s husband, Dave, was already at the beach holding down the fort with their almost-3-year-old daughter, Lyra, and he didn’t mind waiting, since we came bearing hoagies and Wawa Iced Tea (absolute necessity at the beach; Half and Half, diet). We brought 2 liters. We settled in, and then Sara and I went for a swim while Lyra had a snack. Sara and I started chatting with two guys in the ocean and they told us that sting rays were out in full force. We spent 30 minutes chasing waves and we finally saw a huge sting ray in one of the waves! It was amazing, in a #CrocodileHunter way. #RIP. No photos, unfortunately

We headed back to our chairs, put Lyra down for a nap, and cracked open a couple of beers. Perfect day, except I forgot one crucial accessory: SUNSCREEN! I’m not used to being prepared for the beach with chairs etc. When I was in high school, we just pulled up to the beach with a towel I mostly stayed laying on my stomach, usually hungover from the night prior. Now as a full-grown 30-year old, lounging on chairs, I totally forgot to use sunscreen on my stomach and legs!! #HelpMeCoppertone I remembered my shoulders and face, but as you can see (below), my legs turned lobster-red. Oops. Around 4 pm, we were evacuated from the beach due to lightning spotted nearby, and we moved to Sara’s family’s shore house, where we lounged on the deck, ate happy hour snacks, and drank refreshing Portuguese white wine. Lyra helped me put lotion and aloe on, while commenting on how pink my legs were. #NoSh*tSherlock #KidsHaveNoFilter.

Soon enough, the storm caught up to us, so we moved inside, I took a quick shower so I could reapply aloe and protect my poor red legs, and then I had a Duplo-building party with Lyra. Why are large Legos so much more fun than the regular-sized ones? So much less stressful. Also, almost-3-year-olds’ structures are easier to build than the elaborate sets my brother used to make me help with. Soon enough, it was time to sit down to dinner beginning with amazing fresh clams that Sara’s dad Ray had found the day prior. We ate them raw with cocktail sauce and hot sauce. Check out this boomerang of me shooting it.

Sara’s mom, Olga, is an amazing cook. She apologized profusely for “only” cooking what was left in fridge. Well let me tell you, I have never cooked such a great meal even with much preparation! There was fresh corn on the cob, steak, tomato salad, sautéed escarole, and roasted potatoes. YUM! What a great end to our day! I love when I don’t have to cook!

Emoji-Bf and I said goodnight to Lyra and headed back to the train. Unfortunately, there were no express trains and we were a bit delayed, but we eventually got back to NYC. It was pouring rain when we got back to the city and there was not an empty cab in sight. Luckily, I had my sunburned and aching legs with me to remind me of our amazing sun-filled day. Three days later, my legs have faded to light pink, and I already can’t wait to go back (assuming I’m invited)! I will need to stock up on some more Wawa swag to make sure I am needed.

 

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