I am addicted to my fitbit. And I do not care what anybody says, it absolutely helps me stay fit and someday (maybe after I stop eating 2 ice creams/day) it WILL help me lose weight. Here’s how I know: when I’m not wearing it, I am willfully lazier. This can be easily explained by a quick comparison: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Similarly, if I walk to work and I’m not wearing my fitbit, does it even count?? Answer: NO. SO WHY BOTHER. The wheels on the MTA bus go round and round, and I have a fancy piece of very expensive paper called an unlimited Metrocard.

In November 2015, my life changed. It makes my blood curdle to think about the hundreds of thousands of steps I took before then, ALL WASTED. In 2015, my favorite emoji-faced boyfriend got me a fitbit Charge HR because I was incredibly jealous of his. I was so excited to compete with him in steps and in sleep! Spoiler Alert: I beat him every single day in both, as he was working 80+ hours/week, which didn’t leave much time for movement or sleep. (Fun Fact: I still beat him every day, and he no longer works those hours.) Anyway, that is how my addiction began. It has slowly progressed to take control of my entire life.

Since then, I have switched to the newer, more advanced, Charge 2 Fitbit. The Charge 2 tracks multiple forms of exercise, has a GPS for my runs, receives my text messages and alerts me of calendar events, and it reminds me to move 250 steps every hour between 8 am and 7 pm. My fitbit buzzes on my wrist like a dog collar at 10 minutes to the hour to remind me to move if I have not walked enough. It is a part of me and I am a part of it. I wear it 23 hours and 50 minutes/day, with 10 minutes off for a shower. That means I also wear it to bed. (I have often wondered if it tracks THAT type of activity too… 😉 ). It tracks my sleep not just in awake/asleep increments, but in full light/deep/REM cycle stages. Spoiler alert #2: I never get more than 7 hours of sleep from M-F, I’m lucky if I get 6. Fitbit is sure to always remind me of that, although the circles under my eyes are a clear enough indicator.

Let me tell you a quick horror story from 2 weeks ago. I had taken my fitbit off at work (GASP) because I needed to charge it and I knew I had a big project to work on. I figured I would charge it for 50 minutes, until it yelled at me to “Get Steppin!” at 10 minutes til the top of the hour. Then, the unthinkable happened: 5 o’clock came and went, and I left the office without my fitbit. Now, on any day, this would be enough for me to panic and go back to the office. But on this particular day, I was on my way to teach a Spin class. So many lost steps! I usually get 8,000 steps between walking to the train, walking to the gym, teaching, walking to the train, and walking home. And this doesn’t even count the workout that I specifically track. How would I know what my max heart rate was, and how long my intervals were, and how many calories I burned, and what my average heart rate was over the 1 hour???

But I was already late, and I didn’t have time to go back. Devastation. And it gets worse: I was teaching the next morning at 7 am before work, which meant before I got a chance to get my fitbit!! 11,000 MORE steps wasted!! (Different gym, further from the subway station). Now I know what you’re thinking: “WHAT A TRAVESTY!” Oh, you weren’t thinking that? Were you thinking “this girl is crazy; how does she know how many steps it takes her to get from home to every different gym in the 5 boroughs of New York City?” Obsessive fitbit-checking, that’s how.

I know how many steps it is from my street corner to the front door of my apartment (420, if I take the elevator). I know how many steps it is from my work computer to my favorite bathroom (one-way, and round-trip). I know how many steps it is from my bed to my refrigerator (12, I have long legs). I know how many times I have to walk around the living room to get to 250 steps (14, New York apartments are small).

I thought that I was alone in my obsession, but I am becoming more and more aware that I am one of MANY. How do I know? At 9:50, 10:50, 11:50 etc, the hallways get a lot more crowded at work. And at first glance, it looks like everyone is running late checking their watches, but no, they are checking their fitbits. My own sister admitted to me last week that she purposefully waits until after the 5 o’clock hour, so she can get her 250 steps in before she gets in the car to commute home, in case traffic lengthens her commute (god forbid) and it forces her to miss her mandatory steps for the hour. My whole family, in fact, competes in steps every week. Monday evening we receive our “Weekly Progress Report from Fitbit” via email, which inevitably starts a sh*t-talking family group text. My mom is having a hip replacement next month, and she has already warned me that I better watch out because once she gets her new hip, I will never win the week again. GAME ON MOMMY. I have realized that fitbit has made me frighteningly competitive. And I generally play to win, even with a desk job, since it takes me 2,000 steps to get to work, and that’s if I take the subway! As my fitbit would say, “CRUSHED IT!”

Anyone else want to be my Fitbit friend/frenemy/ultimate-stepping-nemesis? Add me! I promise to double you in steps.