Miscellaneous

Covid Anniversary

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It’s March! Happy Anniversary… to Covid! Of course, I am being facetious. It has been a horrific year and guess what? It’s not getting better. If you were expecting a fun and light blog, then you should close this and go to someone else’s blog because this post is going to be truthful and the truth is… THIS SUCKS Y’ALL.

Monday was the first day of March and I had myself a cute little breakdown. Anyone else? If you ask me, things are worse now than they were.

First of all, the burnout is REAL. Every additional day I live like this is exponentially worse. It’s like compound interest but way less fun because I am not getting rich.

Second of all, seeing people on social media still just going about their business like things are fine is THE ABSOLUTE WORST.

Third of all, the virus is, quite literally, worse! 6 months ago, the numbers were low, the virus “couldn’t pass through a mask” so we went about our business at the grocery store or on a walk, with a single mask. Just one! There were stories about full hair salons being spared from transmission by a measly fabric mask.

Now, with new strains of the virus every few weeks, to leave the house I suit up like a space man. I put on a huge coat (thanks SNOWPOCOLYSE 2021) and an N95, and a cotton mask on top of that. And boots. Because endless winter is also a thing, I guess. I feel like I should be wearing goggles, too, but I just can’t.

“BUT DON’T YOU HAVE HOPE?? Things have gotten better! Things are opening up! There’s a vaccine! Multiple!” – People with Hope

Let me tell you about the two groups of people who have hope:

  1. The vaccinated people. Yep, you. I’m not shaming you for having the vaccine. It is awesome. Am I jealous? Of course! But also, sir/ma’am, that is why you have hope. Because for YOU, it is better. You are “safe.” I am not. I also have very little hope of getting the vaccine soon. Sure, Biden says we will have enough supply by the end of May. But by the time they actually figure out supply chain issues and coordinated vaccinations, it will be months after that. Then wait another month for the second shot (or maybe we all get J&J), and then wait another two weeks until it actually becomes effective. We are looking at July at best. And I highly, highly doubt that. Not to mention how long it will be until things like Broadway shows open again.
  2. The people who have let their guard down. I see you. Going to running clubs “outside because it’s safe” in groups of 8+ people with NO MASKS. I see you going to Mexico and Antigua, because you “got tested first.” I see you traveling to see family members because you haven’t seen them in a long time. None of us have! I see you celebrating a coworker’s birthday with a “small group” of 7 people at a Hibachi table. I see you, and I’m judging you. But also, I have come to terms with the fact that not everyone is taking the virus as seriously as I have. It’s been that way from the jump. The thing I hate about this particular group, however, is the fact that they have hope. They say, “things are getting better!” and couple it with this behavior. Things are NOT in fact getting better, you are just getting more lackadaisical about protocol. I’m glad you aren’t burned out anymore, but it’s only because you’re not actually being safe anymore.

Here’s another reason why I’ve been much more depressed this month versus 2 months ago: people have started to make plans, or expect you to make plans. The people making these plans are the same ones in groups 1 and 2 above. The “things will definitely be better by June” crowd. Well guess what, they probably won’t. And I refuse to make plans for June because it’s too dang depressing.

Here’s a great example. My mom, love her, wanted to put a zoom event on the calendar for the last week of June. I had three options:

  1. Say no. I will probably be vaccinated then and the second I can travel safely again, I am OUT OF HERE.
  2. Say yes. This sh*t will be going on FOREVER so may as well just zoom until the end of time. But I already zoom 8 hours a day EVERY SINGLE DAY so that is VERY depressing.
  3. Not answer because I am pretty sure the real situation will be #2 and I just cannot wrap my head around doing this for many more months.

Guess which option I took?

Anyway, y’all, I miss my friends.

I have no hope.

The end.

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Big City Living

Crying In NYC

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It’s beginning to look a lot like… we’ll be staying in the house for Christmas. That’s not exactly how the song goes, but we are still deep into this global pandemic and it’s not looking like it will clear up by Christmas, or New Years (or Easter 2020, as some people may have thought).

It sure has been a depressing year. Trips canceled. Lonely in-apartment nights. Enough DoorDash delivery to keep the restaurant business afloat (almost). And I don’t need to remind you of my own personal tragedy, being canceled last minute from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

If you’re feeling like you need a good cry, and these constantly streaming Hallmark movies aren’t doing it for ya crying in the house, then this blog is for you. I compiled a list of great places to cry in NYC. I started brainstorming this list 7 long years ago, before I quit my job as an attorney. Back when I was practicing law, I cried in public at least 5 times a week. I don’t know if I’d say I’m proud of this fact, but I do think it qualifies me as a bit of an expert.

Recently, even Meghan Markle commented on this phenomenon in the New York Times. She said,

[My cab driver] explained that New Yorkers live out their personal lives in public spaces. “We love in the city, we cry in the street, our emotions and stories there for anybody to see,” I remember him telling me. “Don’t worry, somebody on that corner will ask her if she’s OK.”

Sometimes that’s true. People ask if you’re ok. But most times? They’re too busy to notice. Which is great for me, because I usually don’t want anyone asking me about why I’m crying. I just need a good cry, ya know? Let’s start with the one the Duchess of Sussex witnessed.

The Sidewalk

New Yorkers walk everywhere. So it only makes sense that our cry-fest begins here. We are on our way somewhere. Deep in thought, deep in podcast or playlist, and all of a sudden, a deep depression hits. Do we wait to get somewhere enclosed? Hell no. We let it out on the street corner. Most of the time, we’re walking too quickly for anyone to see our tears. Or it’s winter and they’re frozen to our cheeks anyway. If, god forbid, we are stopped at a traffic light (and there’s actual traffic… because if there isn’t we’re jaywalking), then someone may see our tears. Not to fear, there is likely someone much more interesting on that corner asking for weed money on singing very loudly for all to hear. What if we don’t make it to the sidewalk in time??

The Elevator

This is a classic. Perfect for a quick cry. It’s isolated, enclosed, and feels like a womb. It often smells like urine or some residual curry, but not to worry, once the tears are flowing, your nose will clog up anyway. Main issue with the elevator cry is when you think you’re home free on a solo trip and then it stops and a random person gets in. Thankfully, normal human elevator etiquette is to stare at the wall and make zero eye contact until getting off to say, “have a good day.” Tears do not usually derail this social contract.

In the Lobby to Your Doorman

This is usually reserved for drunken tears. This should be our LAST RESORT. Let me repeat, do not do this regularly. You need to face this human the next day. And the next. You need to pretend you are just a normal happy person who orders from the same Chinese delivery place 3 times per week. Better to not cry in front of your doorman. However, if you MUST speak to someone about your tears and drunk dialing your parents is not an option, it’s best to cry to your doorman after 2 am. Then the doorman knows you’re just drunk and gives you a free pass (even if you’re not, I suggest pretending). ONE FREE PASS, GUYS, use it wisely.

In a Crowd

This is hit or miss. If it’s a crowd of New Yorkers, they will likely not bat an eye. New Yorkers DGAF about you, and even if they did, they probably don’t at the moment because they are too focused on why there is a crowd, and annoyed at how big it is, because they have places to be. If it’s a crowd of tourists, you are in for a bumpy and intrusive ride. Tourists always ask too many questions. During Covid, I do not recommend even being near a crowd, so let’s take a rain check on this one for now.

On the Subway

HIGHLY recommend this. First of all, pre-pandemic, subways were crowded and nobody looked at anybody. Even in the pandemic, people are reading Kindles, listening to music, trying to breathe as little as possible and not touch anything. A lot of concentration is involved. Nobody bothers you on the subway. On the off chance that a homeless man tries to comfort you (this happened to me in 2014), it will at least make for a fabulous Facebook status.

At a Bakery

Guys, this is fool-proof. You’re already there buying sweets for yourself so the assumption is that you’re depressed or PMS-ing. Why not add some tears for good measure? It almost makes more sense to be crying in a bakery than to have dry eyes. Plus, that banana pudding is just SO DELICIOUS, they may be tears of joy.

At Home

Pre-pandemic, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend this. Your roommates or significant other will ask questions. It’s too intimate. You’ll need to pretend you were watching an episode of This Is Us, even if you’re clearly watching Great British Bakeoff. But during Covid times?? We need to normalize crying at home. First and foremost, crying with a mask on is not fun. It’s messy. It’s runny. The snot combines with the saliva and then you wipe it with your mask which gets wet, and then gets cold and freezes, it’s just not a good idea. So if you don’t want to cry with a mask, that leaves one option.

Perhaps just this year, let’s cry at home. But once these vaccines start rolling out, we will be crying and mourning this lost year for many months to come. Bookmark this page and be ready to let the tears go.

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Big City Living

I Miss New York

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You always hear “I <3 New York” from tourists and residents, but you rarely hear “I Miss New York.” In fact, in the past few weeks, New York has been getting a bad rap. There are articles popping up, even in the New York Times, about how “New York is Over.” And then there are die-hard New Yorkers who are coming for them. It’s become incredibly factious.

And honestly, the die-harders would probably say I have no right to speak on the issue, since I “fled” the city on March 14th. I’ve crossed the 5-month mark. This is by FAR the longest I’ve been away from my home city since I got there. Not that it was exactly my choice.

Speaking of my home, last week was New Yorkiversary! August 12th, 2010. A decade in New York – minus 5 months. And it feels so wrong not to be there for my anniversary, not to be able to celebrate with my friends or with my sister who lives 13 blocks from me (now 1,500 miles away).

Anyway, being away from New York, I feel like it gives me so much more of a right to stand up for it. I can talk about all of the things I miss. The things that make New York unique. Now, from an outsider’s perspective. Also, I still pay more than $3,000/month for a 500 square-foot, one-bedroom apartment, so I feel like I have a right. One does not pay that kind of rent for an uninhabited apartment unless one really loves New York.

Here are some of the things I miss:

  • Singing like no one’s listening… because they’re not. Sometimes I like to sing to the music in my ear pods. In a subway station, walking down the street, wherever. Sometimes alcohol is involved, sometimes I’m just feeling the song. And nobody looks at you twice because you can be guaranteed that you are not the weirdest thing they saw that day.
  • Wearing anything you want. Again, there are weirder outfits than yours. Crocs and PJ pants to the bodega for emergency Sunday morning Gatorade? Bra not mandatory. Speaking of…
  • Bodegas. I don’t miss the cats (IYKYK), but I miss that there is always a corner store open with anything you might need. Advil, sausage, egg and cheese sandwich, foil. Pretty much anything. Also, you can walk there!
  • Walking. As you read a few weeks ago, we went to Top Golf for a social distanced date night. And as we both ordered drinks, we looked at each other and realize, “EW one of us has to drive??? Lame.” In the five years of our relationship, we never have had to deal with that. Even on vacations, we had Ubers or public transportation.
  • Doormen. Not all people have them, but it’s much more normalized in New York. I miss drunkenly asking my doormen how their day was when I get home at 1 am. I miss the feeling of always having someone to smile at when I get home (I know some people would hate this – I’m friendly, I can’t help it). I miss someone to empathize with about the weather. I wonder if they miss me?
  • Running into friends in Central Park. When the whole city centers around the same park, it’s easier to accidentally find people there.
  • Flexible/Multiuse Space. Hear me out. New Yorkers are THE BEST at using the space they have. Whether it means building custom bookshelves that literally go to the ceiling, or having a table that functions as a desk, a dining table AND a library, there is no wasted space. I cannot imagine owning an ottoman that is not a comfortable chair, and also opens for storage. Or a TV that is not mounted on the wall. In Texas we a half-full walk-in closet in our room. In New York, it would be an office. Or a nursery. I think this makes New Yorkers incredibly talented and creative designers/innovators.
  • Sidewalk Waterers. Is anyone in NYC keeping them accountable?? If a sidewalk gets watered and it isn’t on my Instagram story, does it even get clean???
  • Food. I swear, guys, I didn’t realize the quality of food we have in New York. Don’t @ me, of course I knew about the Michelin star restaurants. I’m talking about fast-casual. The things we order from Seamless. Every restaurant we order in from in New York is AMAZING. If it isn’t, it closes. It’s crazy the sh*t food they get away with here in Texas. I had a sushi roll the other day… let’s just say I wish I hadn’t.

There are a lot of other things I miss about New York, but some of those things aren’t happening now anyway because of the pandemic. Those things include: sports, Broadway, boozy party brunches, the people in general, and the subway entertainment (I’ve been gone too long if I miss them). But I’ve got big news, we officially booked our tickets to come back to New York! One month and counting. It feels so wrong to be missing my 10th 9/11, but I will be thinking about my city and the struggles it will continue to get through as we remain New York Tough.

It will certainly be a challenge to work from home together with my new-fiancé in our tiny-home, but I can’t wait to get back to my city. I left a piece of my heart there, and despite what the internet-trolls say, I know it’s still there! Pandemic notwithstanding.

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