Miscellaneous

One Year Blog-iversary RECAP!

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HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY TO ME!!
Well, not to me me, but to LongLegsBigCity! Yesterday was the one year post-iversary of my very first blog entry, Tips for NYC Living. Not only is it my post-iversary, but this is my 100th post on my blog! It seems like yesterday that I was watching WordPress tutorials on YouTube all day every day, trying to figure out how to get something I wrote up on the internet for all to see. In my original welcome post to my blog, I told you what my blog would NOT be (a health, fashion, travel, dating, legal advice blog), and I have mostly stuck to those things. I am still figuring out exactly what my blog is, but so far it has been a mix of everything that makes me, me! LongLegsBigCity, a blog about my NYC problems, my life, my explorations of new fitness studios, and a few serious pieces.
I am officially at 84 blog subscribers, and I have even figured out how to make a weekly RSS newsletter using Mailchimp (this is why you need to subscribe, guys! Don’t you want to see my hilarious weekly TBT pics!? Put your email address in that annoying popup box when you go to my site!). So far, I have not achieved my ultimate goal for the blog: my dream of being discovered as a super funny, witty, hilarious, young female writer. If you know anyone at Betches, NY Mag, or any other publications, HOOK ME UP! Tell them how cool I am and how I can write about anything from 6-figure student loan debt to How to Be a Professional Wedding Guest.
I have tried to increase my social media presence (not many of you even thought this was possible), and I now have a LongLegsBigCity Twitter, Instagram, Spotify, and even Goodreads. Not all 84 of my subscribers have been with me all year, so as a celebration of my one year of blogging, and in commemoration of my 100th post, I wanted to recap my first year. I’ll even include some internal links in case you missed something you wish you hadn’t, or if you want to reread about my all-time favorite NYC Ice Cream in preparation for a trip to the big apple. I have recently added share buttons to each of my posts so you can share them on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or by email (or print them, for those technologically challenged among us). Please feel free to share and spread the word. I love to write, which is why I started this baby blog to begin with, but I love it more when I get feedback! Thank you all for reading and for supporting me in this side project of mine. I appreciate you all!
April 2017 – The Very Beginning + Half Marathon

The blog started with a bang. I decided to start with a list post about my Tips for NYC Living. Then, I shifted gears to talk about the biggest thing that was happening in my life: Half Marathon Training. I wanted to complete a half marathon before I turned 30, and my training was sidelined when I sprained my ankle weeks before the race. I still managed to finished, and posted yet another list post about my stream of consciousness thoughts as I ran 13.1 miles on a bum ankle. As you may have recently read, I have 2 healthy-ish ankles now and I am on a NEW quest to complete a FULL marathon by the end of 2019. Fingers Crossed! My half marathon posts got some of the most comments I ever received on my blog. Maybe that the real reason I decided to run a full…

May 2017 – My 30th Birthday and SO. MUCH. ICE. CREAM.

In May, I talked a bit about my birthday, being a Gemini and about trying to get in control of my finances. Personally, I loved writing about trying to use mint.com. Surprise, I’m still using it religiously. Surprise, I’m still not saving any more money. HA!.

Then the real fun began when I decided I would eat at 30 different ice cream places in 30 days for my 30th birthday. This quest became known as #30Years30IceCreams, a hashtag that continues to live on in infamy

 

I made the reveal announcement on May 11th and then I posted weekly recaps throughout the rest of the month (1, 2, 3), going into June. These posts became reallllyyy long and unwieldy. I had a ranking system, I had reviews, I had external links, and I had so many pictures. TBH I think most people just scrolled through the text for the pics.

June 2017 – Mommy’s Girl, Ex-Lawyer, Ex-Jew, OkCupid, Travel and MORE ICE CREAM!

Wow, I did a lot of posting in June. It must have been a slow time at work! After the unwieldy posts about ice cream (those took SO MUCH TIME to write!), I started to get into the vibe of writing more about myself. I wrote about being Jew-ish (amazing throwback pics in that one), and I wrote another stream of consciousness post on my 2nd anniversary with emoji bf, about my thoughts on our first date. I loved writing that one, and I got the most comments! My favorite part of that post was finding the perfect emoji to put on his face for each photo. I traveled to Montreal with emoji-man for our anniversary, and I took my first stab at travel-blogging. In retrospect, I think I wrote a little too much. I tried to work on that for later posts. But if you’re interested in Montreal, check it out!

Some people may think my most useful post was published in June, about Drinking in New York without breaking the bank. And then of course, MORE ICE CREAM! The Scooper Bowl, Week 4, and the final summary. Check out the summary for my favorite ones! I consumed all those calories so you didn’t have to. Speaking of calories, June is the first time I did a review of fitness studio, 305 Fitness. This became a trend. More fitness reviews coming in the future!

Also, I posted about my borderline-obsessive communication with my mom. I call her every day. And/or text. And/or email. And/or tag her on Facebook. She still wants to guest-blog for me at some point. Stay tuned!

Most importantly, I posted my first blog about being a “Recovering Attorney,” and why I always advise everyone I know to avoid law school at all costs. And the costs are high. Like hundreds of thousands high. This remains my 2nd most popular post of all time, with 245 views. Feel free to share it with your friends, and not share it with your enemies if you wish 6-figure debt on them.

July 2017 – Summer in NYC, Travel, and more Fitness Reviews

In July, I started to get into real blogs about things happening in my life, from working in a construction zone, to rainy days in NYC, to super, super hot subway cars. Here’s what I found: people didn’t really care. People tended not to read these, at least according to my site analytics. I’m not sure what that says about me or my life; either I’m boring, or people just DGAF. Or maybe people didn’t know I was hilarious yet. I’m hilarious, right? Maybe now that they know, they’ll click back and read them. Probably not.

I had a few more reads on my travel posts, maybe because I wrote a bit less than that first post in Montreal, and focused on the big events on my trips. Also, I’m pretty sure EVERYONE loves looking at ridiculous photos of me on Segways. I went to Traver’s Island for the 4th of July, I went to DC for a wedding, AND I went down the shore in New Jersey. Busy month.

I also continued with reviews of fitness classes. I went to The Dance and Orangetheory in July. More importantly, I introduced the world to my addition: my Fitbit. It goes everywhere with me. It did in July and it still does now.

August 2017 – Full Time Slavery, Fitness, and STUDENT LOANS

I started the month of August in Pennsylvania, helping my mom rehab after her hip replacement surgery. I lovingly called my post about my time there “My Life as a Full Time Slave.” This post had a surprising amount of views. I secretly think this is because half of my 84 subscribers are my mom’s friends. I’m semi-positive of this. My mom is my biggest fan, after all. She comments on almost all of my posts!

She was up and walking around with a cane one week after surgery!

August brought more fitness posts, including a review of my all-time favorite spin studio in NYC, Peloton. Although this was the first time I mentioned Peloton, it was not the last, and I’m sure there are even more to come. I also talked about how to join a gym for free, and about a free rooftop class I attended in NYC. Free is my favorite price. Another trend on my blog. Why? Because of my student debt.

The most important post of the month was the beginning of my exposé about my student loans. To date, this is the most read post I have ever written. I spent months thinking about possibly talking about my loans, but I was embarrassed about it. I waffled back and forth for a few weeks and surveyed some friends to see if they would be interested in reading it. Ultimately, they all said yes, but I was still scared to talk about it. After some introspection, I decided that was the perfect way to start the conversation. Why was I so embarrassed? Why was I scared to speak about it? Doesn’t everyone have loans? Clearly people related to my story, or at least empathized; it has 279 views!

September 2017 – New York on 9-11, Park City, and MORE student loans

September began in a very New York Fashion, with a mystery date pulled off seamlessly by emoji boyfriend, including a hotel room overlooking the Freedom Tower, the night before 9-11. I talked about our date, and what it’s like to live in NYC every year on this somber day.

I also recapped some September travel; I was a busy bee! I went to Florida and Park City, Utah, where I stayed in the coolest house I’ve ever been in. I also continued my saga about student loans, and I actually revealed the amount of money I owe. Spoiler alert, it’s more than $100K. GASP. Pause for heart defibrillation. I wrote another post about how this massive debt hanging over my head affects my decisions, everything from whether to get Starbucks, to when or if I can ever think about having children. It was a heavy month.

October 2017 – Fitness & Spotify, Finale of Student Loan Saga, and Halloween/Costuming Madness

I started the month with some light-hearted content (to take a break from that student-loan-downer-crap) about fitness classes. I tried BollyX for the first time, and I had a participant in my Spin class make a playlist and be my guest DJ for the night. I also introduced my readers to my Spotify for the first time. Follow me if you want two amazing playlists every week! Hint: My username is LongLegsBigCity.

I finally finished my student loan memoir by talking about how I am trying to pay them off. I provided some practical tips, but more than anything I just told my story. Take it or leave it. It’s my blog and I’ll write if I want to.

October would not be complete without at least 4 posts about my favorite holiday of the year: HALLOWEEN!! Most likely I will post 2-3 times about Halloween every year, in perpetuity. This year, I wrote a poem the night before the Halloween Pub Crawl, I wrote about the crawl itself, I wrote about an adventure upstate to the Great Jack-O-Lantern Blaze, AND I wrote about my all-time favorite pastime: DIY costuming. Are we cute? DUH.

So cute.
November 2017 – Marathon Sunday, Macy’s Parade, and moreeee weddings

November is the month of my 3 favorite events of the year, Marathon Sunday, the VS Fashion Show, AND the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. If you think I’m kidding about that last one, you don’t know me, or you haven’t been following this blog very carefully. This year, I posted not 1, not 2, but THREE times about Thanksgiving and the Macy’s Parade. I wish I could promise you I wouldn’t do it again, but like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie.

November was also all about weddings. I attended 2, in 2 different states (neither of them was New York), and I posted about my trip to Durham, North Carolina as well as another great list post of my tips on how to be a Professional Wedding Guest. And I am one. It must be true, it’s in my Instagram Bio.

December 2017 – Winter/Christmas in NY, #MeToo and New Year Resolutions

Winter finally arrived, so I posted about the first NYC snow, the magic that comes along with it, and the piles of sludge and yellow snow that come after it. I also wrote about an NYC staple: Christmas at Rolf’s.

I tackled my first serious post since my student loan saga when I posted about My Worst First, one of my many #MeToo experiences. This was my 4th-most viewed post, and it was another one I was initially afraid to post. Being vulnerable on the internet is a scary thing, but ultimately I think people enjoy reading it, whether it is to secretly troll me or because they actually relate to my stories and appreciate them because they make people feel less alone. I prefer to think it is the second reason. Speaking of trolls, I got a NOT-so-secret one on that post that was nasty and I did not approve his comment. I was semi-honored to have a troll at all though, not gonna lie.

I closed out the year by talking about resolutions, both my general thoughts about them, and my personal resolutions. Stay tuned this year to see if I followed through!

January 2018 – Midnight Run, West Coast Travels, and Moving Saga

My year began with a bang. A very, very, very cold bang. I ran the Midnight Race in Central Park in temperatures lower than 20 Fahrenheit. This run inspired me to start signing up for races again, and led to my decision to embark on 9+1, the road to the TCS New York marathon, which I did not actually write about until two days ago.

My month was dominated by two huge events: a west coast trip to Seattle and Vancouver to visit my best friend, and trying to find a place to live in New York. Yes, it was difficult to do both of those things simultaneously. I was worried we would be homeless. Spoiler Alert: we are not. I also was worried that our old, TERRIBLE leasing company would swindle us out of thousands of dollars. Spoiler Alert: They did not, but they sure tried to. I used that Esq. after my name in every dang email I sent. It was a veritable saga.

February 2018 – Moving, West Coast Ice Cream, and Sara Bareilles in Waitress on Broadway

February was a crazy busy month for me between moving (we found a place, YAY!) and a 10-day work trip to California. I posted about the horrific experience of moving in NYC, as well as a quick west coast edition of #30Years30IceCreams. It had been almost 8 months since I talked about ice cream, I knew you guys missed it.

Although I was busy, I managed to see my musical IDOL, Sara Bareilles, on Broadway in Waitress, a play she wrote the music to. We even had a backstage tour before the show! It was an absolute dream come true.

March 2018 – Reading, SoulCycle, and My Missing IUD

I wrote a 3-part series about reading, which is what I am usually doing when I’m not writing. I am addicted to Goodreads, where you can follow me and read along.

Although I only posted a few times in March, I wrote two of my top 10 posts during this month. First, I wrote about another personal saga, when my IUD disappeared inside my uterus. I guess I decided that there is no such thing as boundaries for me.

Lastly, I posted about my hatred for SoulCycle. I got another troll comment! I really made it!

April 2018 – Old People & technology, 9+1

We made it! We finally got to the current month. If you have read this whole recap, you are a real, true, LongLegsBigCity fan. Hi, Mommy! I think it’s just you and me, now. I can’t wait for your comment!

This month I talked about old people and technology (with a special shoutout to my mom), and I began my 9+1 journey with you on my way to the TCS NYC Marathon aka #SoreLegsLongDistance.

I hope you all continue to follow along on this blogging side hustle of mine in 2018 and beyond. I appreciate all of your reads, and I absolutely LOVE getting comments! I promise to reply to each of you. Until I get super, crazy famous, that is, and there are just wayyy too many to reply to. Considering I still don’t have 100 subscribers, and my mom is usually the only one who comments, I can probably keep this promise for a while.
If anyone wants to get me a cake for my 1-year-blog-iversary, I won’t say no. Or ice cream.

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Big City Living

Spring Has Sprung… sorta

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Spring Has Sprung!!! …Sorta. It’s the first day of Spring!! Tomorrow we are looking at the possibility of more than a foot of snow, and despite what the calendar says, this is our third straight week of nor’easters. One thing New Yorkers love to do is talk about the weather. Or rather, complain about the weather. I have barely had this blog for a year (1-year anniversary recap coming soon!), and I have already complained about Sizzlin’ Hot Summer AND Yellow Snow Winter. It’s only fair that I complain about Spring, too.

But I can’t really complain about Spring because it’s sort of the best. The only thing I can really complain about is that it usually lasts about 7 days here in New York. One thing everyone can agree about here in “the city,” is that people appreciate a good weather day. And for all 7 days of Spring, the city comes alive. Here are a few things New Yorkers do in Spring (assuming it ever comes…)

  • Smile. This is rare for New Yorkers. It mostly only happens the week before Christmas, when you can’t help but feel the magic of the city, and for the 7 days of spring, when we are not trying to warm our freezing numb fingers, and also not sweating through a thin layer of clothing on a sweltering subway. Which brings me to my next thing.
  • Go Outside. The 7 days of spring are when you realize just how many people are living on this tiny, 13-mile-long strip of land. The city comes alive. Central Park is BUZZING.
  • Look at Flowers. As I said above, we don’t get much good weather. A majority of our year is spent looking at dead trees and empty branches. But in spring, the city comes out to literally stop and smell the roses. There is the epic Macy’s Flower Show that fills all of Herald Square, and there are other community gardens throughout the city. When I went to the tulip festival on the Upper West Side last year, it was PACKED.
  • Work Out Outside. This goes together with the one above, but it’s different. New Yorkers are fit. Not as fit as our west-coast counterparts (or Chicago ones in this popular article from the week), but we need to keep it tight to go up and down all of those subway stairs! Spring is the perfect time to take our extremely expensive boutique fitness classes outside. You’ll find people running around Central Park like hamsters on their first hamster wheel. Also, you’re sure to find multiple boot camps on The Great Lawn, where trainers with entrepreneurial spirit charge $20/class for use of a public park.
Working out al fresco!
  • Go to Governor’s Island. This will be my 8th summer in NYC and I have yet to go. Maybe this is the year. Supposedly people love to ride bikes there. I happen to know from some friends’ experience that you need to be extra careful about their open container laws! Beware.
  • Eat Ice Cream! That’s right, The Scooper Bowl is back. Anyone up for #31Years31IceCreams?!
  • Eat Outside a.k.a. Smorgasburg. Think State Fair, but the only attraction is endless booths of food. This is the largest weekly open-air food market in America, attracting 20,000-30,000 people to Brooklyn each weekend to eat from 100 local vendors. And yes, it’s worth braving NYC trains to go to Brooklyn on the weekend for this. At least once. But be prepared to wait in lines, every booth has one.
  • Drink Outside a.k.a. Baseball. New Yorkers love their baseball. But more than the game, I think they just enjoy overpriced beers while getting sunburned. Tickets for Bleacher Creature seats start at around $10 for a bad game. And since no one is there for the game anyway, that’s what I would recommend. Be prepared to be hot, sticky and crowded.
  • Get Free Stuff. Ok, New Yorkers love free stuff all the time, mostly because we are busy paying $5,000/month in rent for a 1-bedroom apartment. Today though, there is lots of free stuff for the first day of Spring! Unfortunately, there is no Firehouse Subs in Manhattan, and only one Dairy Queen (on 14th Street), but for you suburbanites out there, hit up the freebies! Rita’s has some stuff too.

Enjoy your 12-14 inches of snow tomorrow, and fingers crossed that Spring Springs Soon!

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Big City Living, Miscellaneous

Reading in NYC (Read Across America Day – Part 2)

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Last Friday was Read Across America Day, and in honor of that, I’m in the middle of a short series on my passion for books. A few days ago, I talked about reading in general. Now, I’ll write about the challenges of reading in New York City (there are a lot). And stay tuned for the final segment coming soon about my experience with Goodreads.

Picture this: You’re inside a steel tube, traveling anywhere from 10-55 miles per hour, standing, possibly holding on to a pole nearby, or possibly just bending your knees slightly to keep from falling onto the other 180 passengers in your rush hour car that are smushed like sardines. Now imagine all of that, and add a 500-page book in your hands. What do you do when you need to flip the page? Do you wait until you’re stopped? Is it worse then, because people are pushing past you to try and exit? Do you try and flip the page while in motion and just hope the subway doesn’t screech to a halt at the exact moment you take your hand off of the wall?

Alternative situation: You actually get a seat on the train! MIRACLE! And then you look up from your book because the bass from a portable speaker wakes you from your reading reverie. And you hear the dreaded words, “IT’S SHOWTIME!!” All of a sudden, you can’t see the words on the page because some youngster’s sneakers are dangling in front of your face as he swings from the pole above your head.

These are a few of the perils of reading in NYC. It’s not easy. Yet 8 years later, I consider myself a master.

When I was in law school, I used to read textbooks on the train. This is when I honed my skills. I managed to balance enough to read, highlight, AND make margin notes. I mastered the art of finding a vertical pole, instead of a horizontal one, and hooking my elbow around it, so I could hold the case book open in one hand and make notes with the other. From that point on, I knew if I could do that, I could read anything. If I could understand corporate law, I could easily read a YA novel while in motion.

One essential key to being successful at NYC reading: earbuds. A (non-NYC resident) friend recently remarked that she couldn’t believe I read while I listen to music. It’s less about the music, and more about the blocking of other background noise. For example, the constant barrage of people begging for money. Another example, the other day I was on a train from 72nd to 14th street on a weekend, and there were announcements the entire time about service changes. I couldn’t understand half of the announcements, but the staticky sound is worse than a little background Pentatonix in my ears while I read about Hillary Clinton. Earbuds keep me in the zone. I can tune out everything around me. This may also be why I’m so bad at celebrity-spotting – I’m in my own world!

It should follow that I like audiobooks, but that is not the case. Every once in a while, you do need to take out your earbuds to hear an essential announcement. For example, your train is skipping all stops between 59th street and 125th street. This has happened multiple times. If I’m listening to an audiobook I can miss a crucial part, and it’s not easy to rewind and find the spot! I find myself staring into space, reading the subway ads (doesn’t everyone LOVE the new OKCupid campaign?), and of course, people-watching. I prefer to stick with paper books, so I can see where I left off and find my spot after observing the many colorful people and their various face tattoos.

Speaking of paper books, wouldn’t a Kindle be easier? YES. The answer is invariably, yes. First of all, New Yorkers don’t have cars to leave their stuff in. If you bring anything with you, you will be carrying it all day long. The preference is always “less is more.” A 500-page book is never the first choice. Also, it’s easier to flick to the next page than to balance and deftly page-turn. However, nothing beats the feeling of a real book. Also, it’s easier for me to focus on paper than on a screen, but that is my personal preference. To give my shoulders a rest from heavy bags, I generally switch back and forth between real books and kindle books, depending on which is available from the library. This brings me to my next point – the amazing, fantastic, best library system ever: the New York Public Library System.

The NYPL currently has 92 locations including four research centers and a network of neighborhood libraries throughout the Bronx, Manhattan, and Staten Island. The Library serves 18 million patrons who come through its doors annually; in addition, the Library’s website receives 32 million visits annually from more than 200 countries. WOAH. That needed its own paragraph.

I love the library. How else could I go through 4-5 books/month and still have money to pay astronomical rent?? There is almost nothing in this city that is completely free of charge, but the library is one of those things. Sort of. I tend to rack up overdue fees because I get carried away and check out too many books at a time. I never mind paying overdue fees, though, because I feel like I’m supporting the library, 25 cents at a time! Also, you can pay online with a credit card and get points! Love me some credit card points. The flip side of overdue fees is yet another positive part of the library – eventually you need to return the books. Some may not view this as a positive. If you think this is a negative, you must not live in New York. In 500 square feet or less. Where would I keep all of the books!? It’s great that I can keep 2 or 3 at a time and then swap them out. I feel like Matilda where she brings her books back and forth to the library in her red wagon, except it’s me on the subway.

The best part about the library, besides it being my favorite price, is their hold lists. You can go on the NYPL website, put any book you want on hold and tell them which branch you want to pick it up, and you get an email when it’s there. The book is set aside, at the front of the library, labeled with your library card number, and you are in and out in under a minute. They even have self-checkout kiosks (when they’re working). It’s so easy, I never understand when people tell me they don’t use the library. The number one comment I hear from people is that they don’t use the library because they only use e-readers. Well guess what? They have those, too. Not the actual e-reader, but the e-books! They have Kindle format, overdrive format, 3M format… everything! FO FREE. It’s amazing.

Overall, the best part of reading in NYC is the fact that you can read during your commute. I complained a lot about the subway distractions at the beginning of this post, but I remind myself often that if I drove to work, I’d never be able to read in transit. The fact that I can read, and on good days, SIT and read, while I get to where I’m going, is a luxury I must address. I remember the years of sitting in traffic to commute, trying to distract myself by listening to the corny morning radio host, but nothing beats reading a book while someone else does the driving for you. If it wasn’t for New York, I’d read a lot less. That being said, it can be a challenge, but practice makes perfect.

Stay tuned later this week for my experience using Goodreads, how I use it to find my next books, rate my favorites, and keep track of all of the ones I’ve read – there are a lot!

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Big City Living

Moving in New York

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I know you were all anxiously awaiting the denouement (SAT word!) of my Apartment Moving Saga, and I’m happy to give a quick update, but the conclusion Is still forthcoming. Long story short: we have a new apartment! And it even has wifi! I can finally post on my blog from home!

That’s the good news. Bad news: our oven doesn’t work in the new place and our old apartment has f*cked us over with our security deposit (no surprise there). Anyway, at the very least, I have learned a lot. I have learned enough to NOT MOVE EVER AGAIN. Or at least not again in the near future.

I’ve lived in New York City for 7.5 years, and miraculously I have only lived in 3 (now 4!) apartments in that span of time. However, that does not mean I have not embarked on many many more apartment hunts than that. Ultimately, I have only moved those few times (yes, every 2-3 years is few in NYC), because moving SUCKS. Not only does moving suck, but moving in New York is literally. THE. WORST.

I’ve compiled a not-so-short list of why apartment hunting in New York sucks, as well as my expert tips, gleaned from years of experience, as to how to combat the list of terribles.

  • You can only look for an apartment 2-3 weeks in advance. Yes, I said WEEKS. If you look for an apartment before this time, they will want you to move in too soon (an impossibility due to the cost of rent), or, the apartment will already be taken by the time you want it. Of course this causes anxiety levels so high that I have been self-medicating for months. I assure you, this is normal. When you need to give your current building at least 2 months of notice before vacating, yet you cannot begin searching for a place until 2 weeks prior, you have at least a month to sweat it out, thinking about all of the ways you will fit your worldly belongings into a cardboard box in Times Square.
    • How to combat this: booze. Lots of it.
  • When you go to view an apartment, you need to have at least $9,000 in your bank account ready to go, as well as a credit score over 700. No, you didn’t read that wrong, that is 3 zeros. And yes, I mean for a 1-bedroom apartment, not a house. You need at least the first month, last month, and security deposit. When a one-bedroom apartment costs $3,000 on a good day, you’re looking at close to $10K
    • How to combat this: be rich? I dunno. This is a tough one to combat. Probably just have no savings account and live paycheck-to-paycheck for months after moving.
  • You need documentation of your entire life. Most recently, the building asked for a two-page application listing bank account numbers, savings account numbers, previous building information, etc. They also required my most recent bank statement. Also, my previous two year’s tax returns. Also, my last two pay stubs. Also, a letter from my current building vouching for me. Also, a letter from my employer stating my position and salary. They also required this from my emoji-bf. My coworker recently submitted an apartment application where they asked for his college transcript. He had not been in school for years.
    • How to combat this: Be prepared. And try not to piss off your current building too much because asking them for a letter of recommendation will get very awkward. Yes, I know from experience.
  • Every apartment you see will be missing something you really wanted. How to find a diamond in the rough? Make a list of non-negotiable things you are looking for before you embark on a search. Apartments within your budget are all going to look terrible. It is possible that you need to adjust or modify this list as your search proceeds. However, it’s a good idea to know what you are looking for, so you don’t get swayed after seeing dump after dump of apartments. Example: “Yes I was looking for an elevator building with a dishwasher, and this is a 5th floor walk-up with no dishwasher… but I can actually fit a full-size bed in the bedroom as opposed to the last 5! Let’s take it!”
    • How to combat: Make a list. Stick to it. Or at the very least, exhaust your search before modifying your expectations.
  • Broker fees are the biggest waste of money ever. Don’t be a fool, do you due diligence. You can probably find a great place without paying a fee. And it may mean raising your budget by $200/month. But in the grand scheme of things, you’ll be paying your broker at least $2,500, so why not put that money into your apartment, and not to some rando you’ll never speak to again? One of the main reasons I liked the apartment I’m currently writing this from is because the broker had friendly banter with me about how brokers’ fees are useless and dumb. I liked him immediately (and I did not pay him anything).
    • How to combat: DO NOT PAY A BROKER’S FEE. SEARCH HARDER.
  • Brokers are slimy conniving pieces of crap. Oh look, a follow-up from the last bullet point. I am making a generalization because it is true. And yes, this is separate from the point above. Here I am talking about the no-fee brokers. By no-fee, I mean, you are personally not paying them. However, they are still getting paid by someone, which means they are driven solely by commissions, and not by your actual wants, needs, and stated demands. Example: Me: “Yes, our budget is $3,000/month. Elevator, possible doorman, 69th street to 97th” Broker: “Well I have a place just outside of your price range in the area you’re looking. It’s $3,400/month, 3rd floor walk-up, on 107th street.” WTF.
    • How to combat: Be firm. Be clear. Do not waver. Do not be gaslit. Remember your list of demands!
  • A security deposit is really an aspirational amount of money you hope to see again but probably won’t. They say it’s to make sure you keep your apartment nice. According to a quick google search, you should get your money back unless they need to pay for repairs for damage other than normal wear and tear. However, this is absolutely never the case. In fact, when I typed into google “New York Sec” the first populated search was “New York Security Deposit Law.” And no, I had never searched for this before.
    • How to combat: Kiss your money goodbye. The good news is, there’s an emoji created specifically for this phenomenon: dollar bills with wings. Flying away.

Hopefully some of these tips will help you in the future. If not, remember, I feel you. And misery loves company. Let’s chat.

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Big City Living

First Snow

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It’s December! That means that although we had a freaky 50-degree day yesterday, the first snow of the season is upon us! And the second… and the third…

Remember 2 weeks ago when we were wearing short-sleeved shirts and wondering when winter was going to arrive? Well I think it’s made its debut. Soon, the city will be pretty nasty and slushy, as it always gets, but nothing beats that very first snow of the season.

12 days ago, we had our first big snow. And it snowed ALL. DAY. LONG. My best friend from high school was due to fly into NYC that morning, and I was almost sure that her flight would be canceled or delayed. But… miracle of miracles, she landed on time! It took her hours to get from the airport to my house due to the #SummerOfHell continued, aka #WinterOfHell with MTA, but that’s a whole different story.

This year we have been lucky because the first few snows have completely melted, the city is dry, and we will now be gifted a SECOND FIRST SNOW. Since we have been given this rare gift, I decided to compile a list of do’s and don’t for the first snow (or SECOND FIRST SNOW) vs. the 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc. snows. These are very useful tips, so feel free to bookmark this page for future use.

FIRST SNOW:

  • DO wear cute clothes. There will be photos. Which leads me to my next point…
  • DO take photos. It will never look this pretty again. Until the next year.
  • DO make a snowman, or a snow angel. This will be the last snow you can safely touch for the year.
  • DO post about it on social media. How else will everyone know it’s snowing outside?? By looking out the window?? Who does that anymore? Also…
  • DO boomerang. Snow is made for boomerangs. Jump in it. Ball it up. Throw it. Sled in it. So many action shots.
  • DO have fun! White pretty stuff is falling from the sky and the world is your own personal children’s storybook!
  • DON’T forget how to walk. Yes, I know it’s slippery. Walk carefully, but not like a tourist. We still have places to go. Separate but related:
  • DON’T stop to take a photo in the middle of the sidewalk. Yes, def take photos, I already said that above. But go to Central Park. It’s prettier there. Or at least move to the side of the sidewalk and yield to pedestrians.
  • DON’T use an umbrella. Come on guys. It won’t help. You know. I know. Let’s stop pretending.
  • DON’T run down subway stairs. SPLAT. No train is worth that. Even if you have to wait 15 minutes for the next one (get your sh*t together, MTA). I’ve had two sprained ankles to prove this.
  • DON’T forget how beautiful it is. It won’t be like this for very long…

SECOND (third, fourth fifth etc.) SNOW:

  • DO cover your head. Things will be melting, city juice abounds. No one knows what it is, but suffice it to say you don’t want it on your head.
  • DO wear whatever layers you have, cute or not. After you’ve taken your “first snow” pics, the jig is up. The snow seems to radiate cold after a while. It’s like black concrete for heat.
  • DO wear snow boots. Duck boots. Any and all waterproof boots.
  • DO be aware of the mystery slush piles. I mentioned this in my first blog EVER about Tips for NYC Living, but remember, it may LOOK like it’s 1 inch deep, but it could be 10. Do you really want to take that risk??
  • DO complain about it social media. Yes, everyone else will be doing it, too, but misery loves company, right?
  • DON’T wear suede boots. Or suede anything for that matter. You will be splashed. It will not be pretty.
  • DON’T go into work if you are gifted a snow day. That means checking your work email from bed if there is even a 10% chance of snow for the day. DON’T risk getting ready if it is not necessary.
  • DON’T forget about scaffolding. It is your friend. There is dry, non-icy, non-slushy ground below it. Sprint to it (carefully).
  • DON’T forget to take a mid-winter vacation to a warm, beachy place. But also DON’T forget to check the weather first. Airport delays in the snow = more miserable than sitting at home in the snow.

And DON’T forget to pass this list along to a friend and keep it handy, as I am sure we will all be needing it soon.

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Christmas at Rolf’s

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Do you love Christmas decorations as much as me? Enough to wait out in the 25 degree cold for over an hour? Enough to “waste” a half day of work by standing in the cold, and then standing in a bar like packed sardines, drinking barely above-par drinks that will not get you drunk and cost $17 each? You do? Cool. You should go to Rolf’s.

I went last week, and I did not regret it at all. Yes, we waited. 75 minutes, in fact. Yes, I was sick as a dog and trying not to cough on everyone in line around me. (I may have scared a few people away, it could have been an 85-minute wait if it were not for my handy-dandy hacking cough!).

Rolf’s is a German restaurant near Gramercy. It’s known for its schnitzel. But more, it’s known for its Christmas decorations. And don’t fret if you’re leaving NYC in a few days for the holidays, or if you’re not coming to NYC until New Year’s Eve (not recommended, FYI), according to the Rolf’s website, their Christmas decorations will be up until May. And they are epic. They have been written up in Thrillist, Time Out NY, NY Mag… the list goes on. I dare you to google “Rolf’s NYC” and just look at the images. Or read on, I took approximately 900 photos.

I had heard about Rolf’s for years, but like most too-cool-for-school New Yorkers, I figured it was mostly hype. But here’s the issue, I’m not a too-cool-for-school New Yorker when it comes to Christmas. I go see the Rockefeller Center tree every year. And the Saks 5th Ave. light show. And I’ve seen the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular numerous times. I am obsessed with Christmas. So obsessed that even New York tourist crowds will not deter me. Yes, my Jewish mother is proud.

I threw caution to the wind, met my friend who had taken the day off of work, and plopped myself at the back of the queue. It extended half an avenue. For you non-New Yorkers out there… that’s long. We kept warm by marching in place and complaining about the cold. As most locals do, the best way to deal with any weather whatsoever is to complain about it. I am a pro.

After 75 minutes we finally were allowed entry. Unfortunately, we found out that you were not allowed to sit at a table unless you were ordering full entrees. And those menus were crazy price-gauged. The entrées ranged from $40-$70 for German street food. We tried to ask for a table for appetizers and drinks, but they said no. Bar only. It worked out for the best because the bar is where most of the decorations are. Well, sort of. This place looked like Father Christmas threw up all over it. Then ate it back up, then regurgitated it again. Gross analogy, but for real. The ceiling was DRIPPING with lights, ornaments, and my favorite, super creepy dolls peeking out of everywhere. On the mirror about the bar, there was even more, plus a beautiful wreath.

Have you heard the saying #DoItForTheGram? Well, this place was invented for that. Everyone and their mother (literally… there were a few families in there), were trying to take photos. Unfortunately, the place was so incredibly packed that most photos were from way too close up! Every time a person left, their spot was filled by someone trying to take a photo from 2 feet away, within 30 seconds. It was basically human Jenga.

The place is supposedly famous for its many kinds of Schnapps, but I did not look any further than their seasonal cocktail menu. After waiting in the cold for over an hour, you’d think I would have tried the mulled wine or hot cider. But no, I decided for an icy holiday treat – some sort of Baileys + Cinnamon concoction, complete with a cinnamon stick for garnish. It was not strong at all, but boy was it yummy. Worth $17? Hell no. But the photos were!! I highly recommend going, solely for the pics. Then go literally across the street to the diner, like we did, for a meal at a quarter of the price. And watch all of the cold people in line for Rolf’s as you eat your warm food.

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Big City Living

Thanksgiving Day 2017

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Happy Black Friday! Take a break from shopping to read an update from your friendly, neighborhood Macy’s Parade expert.

TL;DR: NEVER going back to Balloon Inflation again; Parade was FANTASTIC as always, even though I feel old; I ate so much food; traveling back to NYC on Thanksgiving night when I woke up at 5 am for the parade is something I will never do again.

Wednesday night, I joined my friend and sister to attend the great balloon inflation. Turned out to be not-so-great. Ok, it was f*cking horrifically terrible. Good parts, standing in crowds of 10,000 people surrounded by bomb-sniffing dogs and full-riot-gear snipers. Ok jk, those were not good parts. There were no good parts. It was disorganized, and when we finally got through the security checkpoint and bag check (after 30 minutes of waiting), we found out that the line snaked from 74th street to 76th street, then back to 74th, then back to 76th. 6 total blocks, and even then, you were only at 76th street and the actual balloons didn’t start for another block after that. Once we got through one part of the snaking line, and after I was hit in the legs by approximately 16 strollers and kicked by approximately 4 children, we knew we had to escape. We asked a police officer how to GTFO. She told us we had to snake back down to 75th then ask an officer to open the gates for us. We jumped over a barricade and through the other snaking line, and walked as fast as we could away from that sh*tshow.

After that horrific experience, we walked back uptown along Columbus Avenue, in the street on the east side, and GUESS WHAT? We could see all the freaking balloons anyway. They are hundreds of feet long, after all. We even did a good deed, delivering a girl’s keys across Columbus Avenue to her friend on the west side of the street, because the girl was actually stuck inside the balloon inflation line, just as we had been, minutes prior!

The night got a lot better, though. We ate homemade pizza at my sister’s house, thanks to my brother-in-law, and then we went to part ways. As I left my sister’s house, I realized the police were blocking Amsterdam Avenue. Then I realized why: ALL OF THE FLOATS FOR THE PARADE WERE ARRIVING!! It was amazing. I called my sister immediately and told her to come outside. The floats all need to be able to fold up, or disassemble into 12.5 by 13-foot boxes to fit through the Lincoln Tunnel. We got to see the floats all tied down and folded up. Most terrifyingly, we saw the Jolly Green Giant in all of his creepy reverie, head unattached, large hands unattached and filled with even larger ears of corn. This was, by far, the coolest part of the night. And there was no line at all!

I went home and slept for very few hours, then woke up at 5:45 am feeling like it was Christmas morning. I’m Jewish so, this is sort of as good as it gets: PARADE DAY! I followed most of my tips for parade-viewing, bundling up in layers, and stopping at the bodega for an egg sandwich and snacks, and definitely not coffee. I picked up my sister along the way, and we settled in to watch just south of 75th street on Central Park West at 6:40 am.

It’s not easy to pick, but here are some highlights of parade-watching:

  • We were standing right at the beginning of the parade, so we were in front of the opening marching band. We got to dance along with them and hear their awesome songs.
  • We were close enough so that the clowns threw confetti on us.
  • Unfortunately, I barely knew any of the performers. I think that’s how I know I’m old.
  • Performers I knew and got to see: Patti Labell, Common, Flo-Rida, Jimmy Fallon, Bebe Rexha, and ALSO, 98° actually came back from retirement! Love me some Nick Lachey. 
  • I’m tall so I could see all of the floats and balloons before everyone else. (Long legs, big city. Duh.)
  • Spirit of America dance team came by. And when they stopped their cheering, (“MACYS. THANKSGIVING DAY. PARADE!”), my sister and I started a back and forth “We’ve got spirit, yes we do, we’ve got spirit, how ‘bout YOU!?” And we did that a few times with about 40 cheerleaders joining in.
  • SANTA!!! How does one get that job? Does he just have to have his own padding and not be drunk? (Miracle on 34th Street reference.)
  • After the parade was over, we got to see City workers immediately swiveling the traffic lights back into place. Always a sight to see.
  • While the streets were still closed, my sister took an amazing photo of me. New profile pic!
Processed with VSCO with preset

Oh, and selfies with balloons. Which needs its own gallery of photos. 

Not to mention that my sister and I LOVE Macy’s and have a special appreciation for most people’s least favorite balloons: The Macy’s Stars! We took selfies (ussies?) with all of them!

After the parade, I went home, still on a high, and watched the parade’s broadcast on NBC. I caught the last 45 minutes and got to see Santa AGAIN! Then I took a shower, FINALLY had coffee, and headed to Penn Station, aka Dante’s 10th circle of hell on Thanksgiving Day, and headed to South Orange, New Jersey.

I had Thanksgiving dinner at my sister’s husband’s brother’s house. There were twenty people there! The food was DELISH and the bar was #STOCKED. I think I had 3 gin and tonics before dinner, then a few glasses of wine at dinner. The only thing I will complain about… No mac and cheese! Unfortunately, since they keep kosher, there was delicious turkey, but it meant we couldn’t have cheese. That’s ok, I know there will definitely be some at Christmas in Texas.

Lastly, remind me to never take the NJ Transit back into New York on the night of Thanksgiving. It was standing-room-only, filled with New Yorkers escaping the suburbs, and there were drunk people everywhere. Also, at that point I had been awake and in constant motion for 16 hours. It was not pleasant.

Maybe next year the plan will be Parade, then movie marathon in bed. But ALWAYS Parade. Until next year!

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Big City Living

Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

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Tomorrow is one of the biggest days of the year for my family. Not because we gather together, not because of the food, def not because we are thankful. Because of one thing and one thing only: THE MACY’S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE.

Note to Readers: This post is solely about the importance of the parade and my history with it. This is NOT about this year’s parade. Do not fret, I will post about the 2017 parade after it happens.

My family has a LONGGG history with the Macy’s Parade. That’s right, it’s the Macy’s Parade, not the Thanksgiving Day Parade, and NEVER the Macy’s DAY Parade, as some incredibly ignorant people call it. My dad used to work for Macy’s. In fact, he started at Bloomingdales as a seasonal employee, and stayed on with Macy’s for 17 years. He worked in the offices in Herald Square above the massive flagship store. That is also the store where my mom showed my dad which ring she wanted as her engagement ring, and also the store where he bought the ring, when he came down on his lunch break. Like a said, we have a longggg history.

When I was growing up, my dad got tickets to watch in the grandstand through work, so we would make the annual VERY early pilgrimage to NYC from New Jersey to watch in the stands. There is a classic photo of my mom and sister and I bundled up watching the parade. My mom is in the photo holding a bundle of blankets aka my baby brother at the time, who was 9 months old. I told you we take this parade sh*t seriously. Ain’t no baby holding us back! That puts me at 2 years old, a pacifier in my mouth, and another pacifier in my hand, JIC. Obvi. And my sister at 8 years old, having the MOST fun.

When I was 10 years old, my family moved to Florida and we had to continue our annual tradition from 1,200 miles away. We would wake up early (8:45 am was early when I was a teenager), and watch it on the TV. It was a very different experience sitting in the living room of our central AC house, watching people standing and shivering for hours on the street. TBH, I really missed it! But we created new traditions of watching on TV, having my mom cook eggs and bagels (THANKS MOMMY) and then having her join us to watch the real parade at 10 am, after all of the show performances in Herald Square that happen from 9-10.

Then, after college, my parents moved to Philadelphia, which is so close, but so far from NYC. The one year when I was still in Florida, I flew up to for Thanksgiving. Did I fly to Philly where my parents live? NO. OF COURSE NOT. I flew to New York for The Parade!! My brother took a redeye train from Philadelphia to New York to meet my sister and me for some Macy’s fun. After 12 years of Florida Thanksgivings, I was not used the cold and I was freezing my bum off. But I loved every minute.

Fast-forward a year. When I was choosing a law school, my main concern was proximity to The Parade (caps intentional). I chose Brooklyn Law School because it was just a subway ride away. Ok, maybe that’s not entirely true. But I WAS very excited to come back to Parade proximity!

Since moving back to the big apple, I have had many Parade-viewing experiences, from good, old-fashioned street viewing (the most legit), to a swanky, invite-only NBC watch party with unlimited mimosas and food, and free pillows (the most comfortable, warm and bathroom-friendly option), to actually having tickets to the Uptown 76th Street Grandstands (the most celeb-spotting spot). All of them were fantastic experiences for different reasons.

Last year was the year I was in the Grandstands, and I don’t know if I will ever be able to beat that view. Unfortunately, it meant waking up before the crack of dawn to arrive by 6:30 am, and it meant no bathrooms once admitted. However, we had an amazing view and we had SEATS! Also, we made friends with the people around us and played many rounds of taboo waiting for it to start. Better yet, I had MULTIPLE sightings of my oldest true love, Al Roker. <3 <3 <3

How did I get tickets to the Grandstand?? Welllll, better even than the grandstand, my sister was IN THE PARADE!! She was a handler for the Diary of a Wimpy Kid balloon! As they say in Today, “Though it’s a volunteer position, being a balloon handler is not an easy gig to get. Many volunteers land their slots through recommendations from Macy’s employees.” In fact, you must be a Macy’s or Bloomies employee or friend of an employee to get a spot! Last year, my sister asked the right people, and they put her in touch with someone who made her lifelong dream a reality. My sister loves me, so she asked if I, too, could be a balloon handler. Unfortunately, there were no spots left. But because I am her sister, I got the consolation prize, which was not a consolation prize at all: tickets to the grandstand.

One may say I even got the longer end of the stick because I got to sit down the whole time. Being a handler is not easy! But still, over 3,000 people do it. In fact, there are physical requirements and even training sessions. After all, it’s a 2.5 mile walk in the cold, while holding 100-foot balloons. And everyone who does it is a volunteer! That’s how I know I am not the only one obsessed with the parade. There are thousands of balloon handlers out there who live for this.

I’m pretty psyched. I will be posting my ultimate guide: Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Watching Tips later today. And if you’re already too busy in transit on the biggest travel day of the year to read my blog, then HAPPY THANKSGIVING. I’ll say hi to Matt Lauer, Savannah Guthrie, and Al Roker for you!! #IBelieve

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Big City Living

Siren Frenzy

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Up until this morning, I was convinced that I was slowly losing my marbles, one ambulance at a time. I am here to announce something exciting: I am NOT losing my mind.

Let me set the scene: 9 months ago, I switched apartments, but I stayed in the exact same building. My old apartment had a window in my room that faced a busy street, and I lived on the fourth floor. I heard noises constantly. I heard cars, I heard honking, I heard 3 am food deliveries as the Whole Foods trucks backed into the garage for 10 minutes straight. It was annoying at first, but I became accustomed to the noise. I had, after all, lived in New York City for 6 years.

Fast-forward to February, when I moved up to the ninth floor, and my windows now faced an interior courtyard. When I first tried to sleep in my new apartment, I could barely quiet my mind, because of the lack of background noise! I felt like I was sleeping in a suburban cocoon. I know some of you out there probably think this is a good thing. And it was… eventually. Three months passed, and I became accustomed to the lack of noise, and I was sleeping like a baby.

THEN, all of a sudden there were sirens. Sirens during my TV shows that I wasn’t sure if they were coming from the TV or not. Sirens that were waking me up in the middle of the night. Sirens on the street so loud that I had to turn up my music, or tell the person I was speaking to on the phone (probably my mom), to wait a minute until the ambulance passed. I’m not just talking about the regular, run-of-the-mill siren, I’m talking EPIC noise.

After a few weeks of this, I tested the waters and started to ask a coworker and a friend, here and there, if they were noticing these sirens. Turns out it was only me. I received a few strange looks, and a few comments like, “um yeah, there are sirens, this is New York.” Or, “Yeah, didn’t you notice you live smack in the middle of Mt. Sinai and St. Luke’s? You’ve lived in the same building for 5 years.” I felt like I was in the first scene of Mr. Holland’s Opus when he realizes his son is deaf, except everyone else in NYC was the deaf baby at the parade who couldn’t hear the fire engines.

Anyway, after a month of asking other Upper West Side-ers about the possible siren change, and a lot of fruitless googling, I decided to give up and come to terms with the fact that I was losing my sh*t, and/or maybe my hearing was improving with my old age.

Sidenote: There are a LOT of videos of sirens on YouTube. I do not recommend watching them in succession, it will only make you crazier.

Fast forward to this morning: my coworker (who I had told about my siren anxiety) told me she was listening to WNYC and that the sirens HAVE indeed changed with the times and I am actually a sane person! She linked me to the 2-minute piece, which is aptly named, “No, You’re Not Imagining It: Some NYC Ambulances Sound Different.” Sure enough, the piece specifically talks about how they have switched from a “wail” siren, to a “high-low” siren to penetrate the newer, more sound-proof cars. Both of those siren terms, BTW, I learned from my obsessive YouTubing.

Moral of this story: I am not crazy. Happy Monday.

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Big City Living

Oktoberfest NYC

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According to the almighty Wikipedia, Oktoberfest is the world’s largest Volksfest, aka beer festival and travelling funfair. Since I don’t love beer and barely ever drink it, I turned down an invitation to go to Munich with some friends a few years ago to experience it in all its glory. However, this year my friend told me about an Oktoberfest in NYC, and SURPRISE, it was FREE. My favorite price. Beer or no beer, I am all about the free entertainment. (Third installment about my student loans coming up this week).

Oktoberfest runs from mid-September to the first weekend in October. Yes, Oktoberfest is not really an OCTOBER-fest. Germans are strange. Anyway, there are still a few weekends left of the event so if my blog below sounds fun, check out the event for yourself! General admission is free, or you can choose to buy tickets that include two hours of beer tasting for $60. Since I don’t like beer, and since I am poor, I chose the free option, duh.

The weather in NYC has been pretty gross: 80-90% humidity and 85 degrees Fahrenheit. However, last Sunday it was at least sunny and there was beer to cool down with. They didn’t accept any cash inside the event, so you had to purchase tickets to buy beer and food. The tickets were $9/piece which is hefty, but at least the beers were sizeable. Also, they had a “buy 11 tickets, get 2 free” deal, which we found out about too late. Serves us right for not reading the signs and streamlining to the bar.

The event was outside at Pier 15, with awesome views of all of the bridges, and of a few military planes landing. Some people thought they carried the President, but I personally could not care less if he’s in town, if you catch my drift.

There were ping pong tables, corn hole games, multiple “head in hole” boards, aka Cutout Boards. I tried one of them out. Not as many as this guy with 2,400, but still. And I couldn’t resist, I had two beers. I didn’t love the taste, or the carbonation, but it was very refreshing! Did I mention they had bratwursts and pretzels the size of your head? They did. They also had chicken nuggets, although I’m not sure the German connection to those. The bartenders were all wearing traditional dirndls and lederhosen, as were some of the patrons. Some of them were Halloween-costume-style, and not “traditional,” per se, as noted by my friend who has been to the real Oktoberfest. They looked real to me. And silly. Clearly we had to take a pic with one of the guys.

My favorite part of the day was when a member of the event staff began speaking in a terrible fake German accent and announcing a stein-holding competition. Guys, if you didn’t know about this before, there is literally a US Steinholding Association. They have official rules and FAQ’s like,

Q: How much does the stein weigh?

A: A full one-liter stein should weigh approximately 5.5 pounds.

Q: How do you practice for a competition?

A: Everyone is different, and being in good athletic condition helps, but to put it bluntly, you basically just practice holding a stein a lot.

Q: How long should a normal person expect to last in their first competition?

A: Your typical guy can usually last somewhere in the 3-5 minute range, with ladies lasting between 1-2 minutes. If you can go longer than that, following all of the rules, you should definitely find out where to compete in masskrugstemmen so you can take a shot at qualifying for a national level competition.

Q: What is the world record for steinholding?

A: There isn’t currently a world-level competition, so we don’t know of any official world record, but the US national record is currently 19 minutes, 15 seconds, set by Deryk Lindsey at the 2016 National Masskrugstemmen Championships at the Steuben Day Parade and New York City Oktoberfest.

Anyway, the gist is, you hold a very heavy and large glass that is filled with beer and you do not tip, spill or drop it. Longest holder wins. Everyone was video-ing and cheering and the event host was heckling the guys to try and make them drop the steins. I even got a photo with the winner while he was wearing his winning hat and holding his winning beer!

No girls participated, and in hindsight I should have entered, even if I only held it 20 seconds! FREE BEER. If only I liked beer. When is the Oktoberfest for vodka?

The steinholding winner with his winning stein in hand!
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