New York is filled with interesting people. Master of None did an episode in Season 2 called “New York, I Love You” where it explored the lives of the people we pass in our everyday lives: the taxi drivers, the guys who sell you your breakfast sandwich at the bodega, the doormen. But the reason I find New Yorkers fascinating is because even the people you see in their normal jobs, they all have a side hustle. I consider myself the Queen of the Side Hustle. I deserve a crown. For a while, I was even taking surveys online just to get free Starbucks gift cards. Most recently I joined Influenster in the hope that they send me free products. Hopefully I’ll start instagramming them soon.
New York is a tough place to live; the average price of a one bedroom apartment is $2,700/month, $3,000 if you only look at Manhattan. One job just won’t cut it. The New York Post recently wrote about it, as did CNN. CNN reported that over 44 million Americans have side hustles. Roughly the same amount of Americans who have student debt. I wonder if that’s a coincidence. But this multiple-jobs-just-to-keep-a-roof-over-our-heads lifestyle is what makes us all interesting. And multi-faceted. And tired. But that’s for another post.
Here are a few things I know people do as side hustles: uber driving, waitressing, bartending, lululemon educating, blogging. Oh, and of course group fitness. Don’t get me wrong, there are some people who do all of these things full-time. But it’s more likely that people cobble together multiple things to make a living. Waitress/Actor. Or is it Actor/Waitress? Does it make a difference?
Even the people who don’t think they have a side hustle often have one, but they call it a “hobby,” like investing. As far as I’m concerned, if you spend a few hours a week on it, follow finance blogs, have a special tweet deck for finance, and it makes you some mulah, it’s a hustle. Cough Cough Emoji BF Cough Cough.
One of my coworkers who just started at my full-time job kept one shift a week at her old job, bartending at a bar/restaurant/karaoke spot. She only works on Friday nights, but the extra cash she gets pays for her expenses for the week. Plus, it can be fun to meet people at your side hustle! People whose paths you probably wouldn’t otherwise cross. It’s fun for me too, because I can visit her and sing karaoke to my heart’s desire. It’s always helpful to know a bartender in New York. The problem is, she also works at our full-time spot on Fridays. That means her work day is basically 9 am to 4 am, 7:30 am to 5 am if you include the commute. WOAH. In what other city is working 22 hours normal? But I can’t judge, I do it too!
Check out that form. Much more fun than a desk job.
I had to belt out a few myself 😉
The real pro.
For a while, I was flipping clothes. I know you’re thinking that is ridiculous, but there is a HUGE second market. I would go to SoulCycle sample sales every time they happened, and I would go as soon as they dropped prices a second time. I would scoop up ANYTHING lululemon brand (they had other brands, too, but ew), and then I would sell it on apps like Poshmark (SIGN UP WITH MY CODE JLDNQ for $5 off!) and Mercari (SIGN UP WITH MY CODE FDXTKW for $10 OFF)! as “NWT” or, New With Tags. I turned hundreds of dollars in profit! It took time to take the photos, post them, monitor the listings and re-post them to my followers. And of course it took time to pack and ship them, but it was worth it!
Another side hustle of mine: retail. Two years ago, I worked at lululemon for a holiday season. I won’t lie, I did it first and foremost for the discount. Also, I liked the company and its goals. (Read: I drank the luxtreme koolaid.) When I had my interview with the manager, she asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this, and made sure I would have some semblance of a work-life balance. She only let me work Fridays after my other job and Sundays, insisting I took Saturday off. Most other companies wouldn’t give a sh*t about your “balance” from another job, but I did appreciate having that one day to myself every week. In fact, working at lululemon was one of the highlights of my past few years. As I’m sure you know, I have a passion for fitness, and it was fun to just chat about workout clothes and new niche studios with customers (also have some of my classes comped!) and get paid for it! My Fridays often went from 8 am to 10 pm, but I found myself looking forward to it. Having a side hustle is a good way to get out of the daily 9-5 grind and to keep yourself on your toes.
Lemons love to be in inversions.
Run Club, the way I worked myself into retail.
On break at lulu, taking selfies with a #lulufilter
My main side hustle is being a fitness instructor. I’ve had that side hustle fitness job for 11 years and counting, through undergrad, “unemployment,” law school, lawyering, and now, my #JewJob. When I started, it was my only job, on the side of being a full-time student, but it was fun to have extra cash in my pocket, and it was also fun to see people at the bars who recognized me from my classes. I felt like I was semi-famous. In NYC, I get paid 3 times what I was paid to teach in Florida. Granted, my rent is more than three times as high. Also, since February, the YMCAs of Greater New York centralized their subbing system online so I can pick up classes at gyms throughout the five boroughs. If I need some extra cash, I pick up an extra class! Who am I kidding, I ALWAYS need extra cash (did you see my ongoing series about my student loans?!) and I am always looking for an extra workout. I pick up every class my body and schedule allows! The best thing about this particular side hustle is that it also good for my health. That’s a win-win. Until I sprain my ankle again.
Do any of you guys have a side hustle you enjoy? Can I join it? A penny saved is a penny earned is a penny saved. Or something like that.
In case you live under a literal rock and never come out, yesterday there was a full solar eclipse across the United States. A solar eclipse is a celestial event in which the moon passes between the sun and the earth, and blocks the sun from view. We are in a unique position on Earth because it only happens because the sun is 400 times the size of the moon, and also 400 times further away. No other planet can enjoy this phenomenon, not like anyone is planning to travel to Neptune any time soon (remember when we had a space program? LOL). Anyway, if you are in the path of totality, it gets dark like nighttime in the middle of the day, and it lasts approximately 2 minutes and 40 seconds. A LOT of people I know traveled long distances to see this awesome event, the first full eclipse in the USA since 1979.
I didn’t leave the state (or the city), and unfortunately, we were only able to see a partial eclipse from New York City, but it was still a pretty amazing experience. One of the best things about this eclipse, IMO, was the full-out frenzy for eclipse glasses. According to NASA, you should never look directly at the sun (duh), so you needed these “ISO 12312-2 compliant pair of these special shades!” Quote from NASA, not me. There were different vendors like Warby Parker, and certain public libraries that were giving them away for free. There were some satirical conspiracy theories about how it was all an Amazon scam to get people to buy them. Again, in case you live under a rock and haven’t seen a million photos of these on social media, they basically look like the crappy paper glasses they used to give out at 3D IMAX movies, the ones that never actually stayed on your head, before they started using the actual plastic, recyclable ones. FYI, if you have extra eclipse glasses after yesterday, you can click here and learn how to donate or recycle them!
I loved the people crowdsourcing for eclipse glasses on Facebook and Twitter. Who knew we all loved astronomy so much? Honestly I hadn’t thought much about it since my Astronomy for Dummies class, freshman year of college to satisfy my GenEd Science credits. But as Monday got closer, my social media followers and followees starting ramping up for the eclipse, and I am totally guilty of getting wrapped up in it.
When I got to the office, I immediately went to NASA’s facebook page, where I heard they would be live broadcasting starting at 11 am. As the countdown to the first totality in Oregon went down by each second, I got more and more excited. I originally didn’t care about procuring glasses, I figured I’d just look straight at it, like an idiot, or use one of the other ingenious contraptions to see the sun’s shadow. Of course, I didn’t bother to make one of those contraptions. Once I had the NASA live feed up, I started to worry about not having the correct equipment. I walked down the hall in my office to ask around to see who had super special 3D movie glasses. THANKFULLY, a girl whose father loves science sent her 5 pairs. I made sure to have her come pick me up on her way to watch.
As the morning went on, my best friend on the west coast was sending me photos of the partial eclipse in Seattle, where she is, and of the total eclipse in Oregon, where her friend with an amazing photography hobby was. I was giddy with excitement. When I got outside, I was not disappointed. The sidewalks were filled with people with all different viewing contraptions, from cereal box pinhole viewers, to double paper plates, some colanders, a printout from the NASA website, and of course, the handy-dandy 3D movie/eclipse viewing glasses. Regulation, as per NASA.
Some kiddies on their way to watch the awesomeness.
Photo taken through regulation Eclipse Glasses.
We have all this technology and cereal boxes still work best.
Double paper plate shadow trick.
Awesome photo, thanks to the clouds.
Overall, I was incredibly impressed. It left me super jealous of my friends who traveled to see the totality, and I’m already thinking about how to get to Texas or Maine on April 8, 2024, when the next total solar eclipse is visible in North America.
My favorite part of the eclipse was possibly the social media aftermath and memes. And of course the fiasco and ridiculous memes after our Commander in Chief looked directly at it. Some of my favorite tweets:
Leaving the office for 15 minutes in the middle of the day, with an excuse no one could argue about.
The temperature dropped for a few minutes. Any respite from this heat, I will appreciate.
I got to socialize and meet other people in my office building, and strangers on the street.
Seeing Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart go to #1 on the iTunes chart. That’s a 2,859% increase in the U.S. and an 827% increase globally.
Seeing New Yorkers, in general, socializing with one another.
Looking at the packed streets in midtown via social media.
Forgetting for two short minutes that our entire country is going down the you-know-what.
Now back to our normally scheduled programming of antisocial behavior, looking down at our phones instead of up to the sky, and shielding our eyes with expensive shades instead of free paper ones from the library. Until next time in 2024!!
Saturday I went on the most epic NYC Date Night. Spoiler alert, Broadway was involved. This is my first blog post where I actually rave about living in New York, so get excited.
Back Story: My bf told me I am not allowed to write about him on this blog (hence why I always cover his face with an emoji), so I won’t give much detail about the back story. But, suffice it to say, I had not spent any meaningful amount of time with him in weeks, unless you count hours of sleep, and I told him he owed me a date night. If you don’t say what you want, how will you get it, AMIRITE? My emoji-bf’s idea of a date night is almost always the same: dinner at a restaurant where the cheapest aperitif rings in at approximately $25 and you are expected to have a glass of wine to pair with each course. Now don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate a good meal every once in a while, but I’m more likely to appreciate a dinner at the Meatball Shop, where I can go Balls to the Wall and still end up with a total bill of $20. I simply told my emoji-love-of-my-life that a fancy dinner would not do for date night, and I wanted to do a “fun activity.” I was thinking mini golf. Maybe bowling.
But no, he ended up surprising me with tickets to Book of Mormon on Broadway, and a dinner afterward! With 4th row orchestra seats. It was amazing.
Here is a rundown of the day that made me fall in love with NYC again:
Morning: I taught a spin class in my neighborhood, meaning, 30 blocks away. It was hot so I hopped on the subway (free with my unlimited Metrocard) and for once, the train came on time. I got there in 10 minutes. I made $50 and got my workout in. I picked up my new spin shoes on the way home, at the bicycle store that is conveniently located on the same street where I live.
Afternoon: I did 4 loads of laundry while I tanned on my rooftop. I am one of the lucky New Yorkers with both laundry in the building AND a rooftop for tanning. More on the #RooftopDweller Lifestyle later this week.
Later Afternoon: I asked Emoji-BF what I was supposed to wear for later, since he had told me he had planned a surprise date. He said “semi nice” which is not a thing. So I asked him more specifically and he said “we are going to see a show.” Keep in mind, he had never been to a Broadway show before, so I wasn’t sure if he meant show like, comedy club, or what. I showered and put on a sundress, and we walked to my sister’s house to hang out. Did I mention my sister and her husband live 11 blocks from me? It took us 10 minutes to get there by foot. Another great advantage of NYC.
Evening: E-BF (“emoji boyfriend”) called a Via and the two of us got down to midtown for $5.95 total. (Use my code to sign up for Via, and you can get super cheap rides too!! Use the code emily5s6e to get $10 free!) Anyway, we got to midtown and he handed me a ticket for Book of Mormon. I was ecstatic. Not only had I wanted to see that show for years, but we are going to Utah in 10 days! Perfect time to brush up on my Mormo-trivia. Not a typo, I call them Mormos.
Anyway, we entered the theater and the ushers told us to proceed down the aisle to the “front section usher.” What?! OUR TICKETS WERE IN THE FOURTH ROW. Guys, these seats were amazing. It turns out that there were 3 seats together, and they were still available that morning because you are not allowed to book 2 seats together on Ticketmaster when only 3 are available. However, E-BF tricked the system. He reserved (but didn’t purchase) one ticket, which holds it for up to 8 minutes, and doing so opened the other 2 up for purchase. Then he opened another browser window to purchase. BAM. I date him because he is so stinkin’ smart.
The show was absolutely AMAZING. Probably one of my favorites I have ever seen. And I have seen a lot. In order of most recent to least recent: Fiddler on the Roof, Porgy and Bess, Jersey Boys, Chicago, Aida, Riverdance, Bring in Da Noise Bring in Da Funk, Miss Saigon, Phantom of the Opera, and possibly more that I don’t remember. Anyway, HIGHLY HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend The Book of Mormon. I was laughing out loud within 1 minute of the curtain rising. I was smiling the whole time. My face literally hurt by the end. And the songs were so catchy, I have been listening to it on Spotify ever since. More importantly, I feel completely prepared for Utah.
Minor spoiler alert if you know absolutely nothing about Book of Mormon. The main characters, Mormon missionaries, get stationed in Uganda for their mission. This was a tiny bit awkward since my boyfriend is of African heritage. They make fun of African issues in a very satirical way, but it goes on for quite some time. Aids, people who think they can have sex with virgins to get rid of their Aids, dysentery, war lords, etc. I think E-Bf was a pretty good sport, but there were a few times I was worried to look over at him. He was born in New Jersey though, so I thought I was pretty safe. Maybe less safe at Jersey Boys.
When the show ended around 10:25, we were hungry and guess what, it is NYC so every single restaurant was still open. We went to Dutch Fred’s for dinner, one of E-BF’s fav spots. Then we took another $5.95 Via home.
What a successful NYC day/night. In what other city can you just decide on a whim at 11 am that you are going to buy tickets to a world-class production for that current day and take a 10 minute, $6 car there? Sometimes it’s really cool to live here.
Our amazing seats. Emoji-BF was clearly as thrilled to be there as I was.
Photo opp before the show.
SO much fun.
Selfies. Emoji-BF was two days early with his eclipse glasses.
I apologize for not blogging much recently, but it’s because I am SICK! I have been sick 6 times since January. For those of you counting, that is almost once a month. I know I complain about New York as the worst place to live, and sometimes I am exaggerating, but when you’re sick, it REALLY is the worst place.
Let’s start with the obvious: tissues. How do you carry them? I used to keep a box in my car, but obviously that is not an option. You know we have all had days where grabbing 3 or 4 individual tissues is just not going to cut it, but carrying around an entire box on the subway seems excessive. Or is it? I’ve taken to carrying a roll of very super soft toilet paper. Always triple-ply. It’s more totable, it’s cheaper, AND there’s a lot of paper on there.
Which brings me to my next point – what do you do with this plethora of tissues once used? It’s not like a trash can is available on every subway car. Do you stuff them in your bag to make all your other things gross, and then hope you remember to trash them when you exit the train? Do you hold them in your hand until you get off? First of all, ew. Second of all, you need that hand to hold on to the subway pole! Come to think of it, maybe this is why I’m getting sick all the time. All of these gross New Yorkers’ tissue hands on the poles. I have seen old ladies only touch the pole with tissues, but again, this seems excessive. Also, I’ve probably used up all my tissues by that point. Then again, those old ladies with medical masks, holding on to the pole with a tissue every day aren’t the ones snotting all over the place every month (how’s THAT visual?) Maybe they’re on to something.
Phase two of sickness: major coughing. This presents another problem in New York. Namely, everyone assumes you have The Plague, yet there’s absolutely nothing you can do about standing in extremely close proximity to people at all times. Taking the subway to the doctor, waiting in line for matzah ball soup (the Jewish penicillin), there’s no getting away. I remember being sick back during the Ebola epidemic. I coughed once in the subway, and the subway car cleared out as if it had no AC. I had the whole thing to myself! There’s the silver lining. People run from you.
But the worst part of being sick in New York by far is just getting around. You know those days when your muscles are failing you and it feels like you just did CrossFit but really all you did was roll out of bed to the bathroom? Well imagine having that feeling but still having to walk 7 blocks to the subway, then do multiple flights of stairs. WOOF.
Here’s hoping I get better soon. Long Legs Sick City signing off. I will now go buy stock in Kleenex. Or Charmin. And I’ll leave you with my favorite poem of all time, Sick, by Shel Silverstein.
This past weekend I did nothing. Of course, that is not true. But New Yorkers don’t always say what they mean. When New Yorkers say they did nothing, what it really means is that they had a couple hours specifically carved out where they were not running from one event to the next. And on those rare unicorn occasions, it is glorious.
This past weekend, here’s what I really did:
Friday: Worked a full day, grocery shopped and cooked dinner, then watched Moana with my boyfriend. He LOVED it. Maybe because he’s an emoji and it’s an animated movie, and birds of a feather flock together.
Saturday: Went to breakfast in Greenwich Village with my boyfriend and 3 friends, took a few photographs of my food, then meandered around and said bye to my BFF who was traveling back to Australia. Then did 5 loads of laundry.
Sunday: Taught 2 hours of fitness classes in Brooklyn while my brother was a participant. Took the local train there and back because, weekends in NYC, transit is literally the worst (this is an activity in and of itself). Went to lunch at an Indian buffet. Third best on the Upper West Side according to foursquare! It tasted like second best. Went shopping at CVS, where I saved $25 in coupons. Beware Extreme Couponing, I’m coming for you.
As you can see, this was not, indeed, nothing, but compared to a usual NYC weekend, it is incredibly tame. Almost every New Yorker can tell you when the next time they have nothing planned is, and they generally will be very happy about it, looking forward to it, sometimes counting down they days until it happens. One of my favorite comedians, John Mulaney, has a bit specifically about this. He says, if you ever ask an adult what they did over the weekend and they did nothing, their faces LIGHT UP. It’s so true! My coworkers asked me this morning how was weekend was, and I regaled them with tales of my binge-watching Jane the Virgin, and sang them a few lines from my new favorite soundtrack, Moana. Ok, maybe I didn’t do that last part, but I did hum some of it on the subway! Those songs are seriously catchy. Thanks Lin Manuel Miranda.
Doing nothing is a luxury that I cannot often take advantage of. There are things to do, people to see, food to eat, and the feeling of FOMO is so real. When I first moved in with my boyfriend, I thought I would be running out of the house at every possible moment to get away from him (no offense babe). But in reality, I have found that I am more and more likely to turn down invitations. Why? Well first of all, I’m poor. Thanks student loans. But even more, I already have someone to keep me company at home! And after nearly 7 years of go-go-go in New York, I am ready to slowww down. Don’t get me wrong, I am still going to go out to drunch every once in a while, but now that I am 30, I need a full day to recover. Also, sometimes it is the most luxurious feeling to find out that Pocahontas is streaming on Hulu and you can watch it over and over again. With the closed captioning on, it’s basically Disney Karaoke. You’re welcome for that Saturday serenade, neighbors.
I hope all of you guys had a fantastic weekend filled with lots of fun activities. Or not. Because sometimes that’s better.
20 days into summer and it officially happened to me. The most dreaded thing for all New Yorkers. And yet the most inevitable as well. No, I do not mean finding a roach in your apartment (inevitable). Or a mariachi band on your commute home after a 14-hour day (also inevitable). This is arguably worse than both: an un-air conditioned subway car.
You have heard the stories, and if you have ever lived through a summer in this steamy, garbage-stenched city, you have probably experienced it. This living horror story never happens when you are on your way home, minutes from a cold shower, or on your way to a pool where you can cool off (supposedly a few of these exist in Manhattan-proper; it’s like a unicorn). No, these 5-10 minutes of Dante’s Inferno hell ALWAYS happen on your way to work, or worse, on your way to an important business meeting or interview. This is Satan’s way of making sure that when you show up, you smell half like a homeless person, and half like rotting garbage, and your hair is plastered to your face to really accentuate your cheekbones and the mascara-tinged-sweat that is still slowly dripping down the sides of your previously well-made-up face. Am I exaggerating? Maybe slightly. But for the most part, no. This is by far one of the worst things that can happen to a New Yorker in the summer besides finding out your landlord is raising your rent 15% (this actually happened to me).
In the past, I have recounted several experiences in stream of consciousness, from my one and only half marathon, to my thoughts leading up to my first date with my emoji boyfriend. Dante’s Inferno Subway Car is one of those highly-relatable phenomena that lends itself to second-by-second analysis. Every second’s thoughts being mostly, “GET ME THE F*CK OUT OF HERE.” Read my thoughts below and let me know in the comments if you’ve ever had the same feelings.
“YES. Only 2 minutes until the next train. Maybe I’ll actually be on time.”
Note: You are ALWAYS running late when this happens, it’s like Newton’s 4th Law
“Empty car? This is too good to be true.”
Note: It’s ALWAYS too good to be true.
*doors open* “Hmm, the air coming out seems warm, is it warm?” *walks in car*
*doors close* “OMG I HAVE ENTERED THE GATES OF HELL. SOMEBODY HELP ME.”
“I have 3 stops, can I make it all the way there in this steam room of rotting human flesh?”
*looks around* “There are at least 10 other people in here that are managing. I can do this.”
“I CANNOT DO THIS. HOW ARE THESE 10 PEOPLE DOING THIS?!”
“3 stops to go, though, is it worth switching cars?”
“I’m switching cars at the next stop.”
*peeps through window to next car, sees it’s completely full*
“Ok maybe it’s actually better in here with all of my room! It’s hot, but at least no one else is in here.”
*legs slide down seat because of sweat between them* “It’s not better. Still 2 stops to go? I gotta get out of here.”
*train stops between stations* “You’ve got to be kidding me. Am I being Punk’d?”
*looks around, sees no cameras, sees a lot of other miserable people* “Why is no one else sweating as much as me?”
“Do you think they would notice if I wiped my face with my shirt?”
*wipes face with shirt* “SHIT I forgot I was wearing foundation. Now my makeup AND my shirt are ruined.”
“Who even cares, no one will be able to see past the fact that I look like I casually popped in a pool on my way here.”
“Remember that time when I blow-dried my hair this morning? LOL”
“Well at least I remembered waterproof mascara today. Was my eyeliner waterproof?”
“They should really advertise this specific situation in makeup commercials.”
“No, they shouldn’t. No one would buy a product with anyone in the commercial looking like how I look right now.”
“I know my parents constantly remind me that subways never had AC back in their day, but ‘their day’ was BEFORE GLOBAL WARMING WAS A THING.”
“What if I actually die in here? How long does it take to die from heat?”
“Ok, I’d probably faint first. That might be more comfortable than consciousness.”
“Is it possible to make oneself faint?”
“Then I’d definitely be late, though. But it would be a great excuse.”
*doors open* “One stop to go, switching cars!” *runs faster than I have in years of going to run club*
“OMG I never thought I’d get to heaven and yet here I am.”
“Are wet t-shirt contests still a thing? Because I think I’m #Winning”
“Does this count as my workout for the day? I think I sweat more in the past 7 minutes than I did in Spin class last night.”
“What are the chances I dry off before my destination? Probs slim to none.”
Well, there you have it. In all of its #sweatzilla, disgusting glory. Note to the tourists visiting NYC in the summer, BEWARE the empty subway car, don’t even bother trying to do your hair, and ALWAYS bring extra deodorant.
New York is the City that never sleeps. It’s also the city that never DRIVES. Which means we drink. A LOT. Going out with colleagues? Happy hour. Meeting some friends? Wine bar. First date? Lounge with drinks. College Football? Dive bar. Girls day Saturday? DRUNCH. REALLY have to pee and the closest Starbucks is 5 blocks away? Hop in a bar for a quick drink (and pit stop).
First, make friends with people who get work perks. My best friend happens to work in media, and I have taken her up on open bar invitations more times than I can count, and had more drinks than I can count (… literally, I could not count by the end of the night). If you are not in a field that has drink perks, find a friend that has them. I have seen the Knicks from box seats, the US Open with free-flowing sushi platters and champagne, attended a pre-party with a rented-out bar for the Sweet Sixteen… you absolutely MUST have friends with benefits. Alcoholic ones.
NBA All-Star Game.
Last-Minute US Open Tickets. I was V sick that day for work.
ALL OF THE FREE FOOD. Lobster rolls and so much sushi.
And of course, endless free bottles of champagne.
We got courtside tickets as well, for when we weren’t too hot and hiding in the suite.
Suite 16 tickets.
AMAZING seats.
More suite tickets at Barclays, back before Wade abandoned us.
If this plan does not work, then you must always find the oldest man in the bar. This is a fool-proof plan for a girl, and probably does not work the same way for a guy, but feel free to try. Old men love to buy drinks for girls. I know this is very “Samantha” from Sex and the City, but I swear it’s true. They may ask for your number, but always just say, “How about I call YOU instead.” This past St. Patrick’s Day, I had a 70-year old man tell me I was his soul mate and add me on Instagram (privacy settings are key here). Meanwhile, my tab for the night was $10 and I barely remember the subway ride home. Although I am speaking about drinking in NYC, this plan works EVERYWHERE. When I lived in Florida, we used to have contests to see who could find the oldest man in the bar. (We also had contests for who could find the sweatiest man, but that was mostly for the photo opps. I digress).
Winner Winner, Vodka Dinner.
I was single here, swear.
This was at a gay club. Gender: questionable. Age: over 60.
Happy as a clam.
WINNER.
Another fool-proof plan: drink specials. In Florida, “Ladies’ Night” meant girls drank for free. In New York, it’s rare to find a Ladies Night at all. There are so freaking many of us, why would they want us to come out in droves any more than we already do? But there are other specials to be had. I TRY not to go out during the week, but BOGO drinks on Tuesdays? Ok fine. You got me. Friday night $6 cosmos and pig in a blanket before 7? I’ll skip the apartment pregame for that.
Which brings me to my last, MOST important drinking necessity: THE PREGAME. Not just for college students anymore. What’s cheaper than having 10 drinks out? Having 6 drinks at home and 4 at the bar. It’s simple math. 5 glasses of wine while you do your hair and makeup is 5 less vodka sodas you need to ask Old McDonald for at the bar. So what’s the difference between a 21-year-old pregame and 31-year-old pregame? Nothing but the hangover.
Yesterday I went to the Scooper Bowl for unlimited ice cream. I’ve never fancied myself to be a competitive eater, but yesterday was both a race against the clock, and a race against the physical capacity of a human stomach. I lasted more than 5 hours, and I’m pretty dang proud of myself. Also, I feel like did a great thing for the world because it was a fundraiser. Win-Win!
The Scooper Bowl is the nation’s largest all-you-can-eat ice cream festival, co-benefiting The Jimmy Fund and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. It began in 1983 in Boston, and according to their website, thanks to generous contributions from the largest ice cream companies in the nation, the Scooper Bowl has raised more than $5 million in the past 33 years for cancer research and patient care at the world-renowned Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. The most amazing part, ice cream companies donate all the ice cream, labor, scoopers, and products needed to make the event happen each year.
I heard about this amazing event because, as you probably already know, I have been on an epic ice cream journey, #30Years30IceCreams. I officially have 2 days left out of 30. If you haven’t read about Week 1, Week 2, or Week 3 yet, get to reading! I will be posting more about the actual ice cream and flavors in my Week 4 update, but for now, more about how I managed to eat ice cream for 5 hours straight, because there WAS a method to the madness. I was a woMAN WITH A PLAN.
The Scooper Bowl is a 3-day event, Thursday through Saturday, and tickets were only 20 dollars per day in advance (plus a processing fee), or 25 dollars at the door. I honestly was not planning to go. The LAST thing I needed after 27 days of nonstop ice cream, was UNLIMITED ICE CREAM. I heard about it through creepy internet cookies; since I have been posting ice cream-related posts for weeks now, I was the prime advertising target. It was showing up in my Instagram feed, Facebook advertisements, dreams, etc. And when other people started to hear about it, they were forwarding me the link via Instagram direct messages, Facebook messages, and multiple people posted it to my Facebook wall! The writing was literally on the wall: I HAD TO GO.
The ultimate deciding factor: my cousin texted me from Washington D.C. and said that her friend who just moved to NYC was looking for a friend to go with. I can’t say no to a blind friend date. I mean hello, perfect blog material! Here’s how you should prepare for an AYCE ice cream festival: go to the gym and don’t eat anything else. Here’s how I prepared: laid in bed eating and watching Sex and the City. Oops. Mistake #1.
My blind friend date couldn’t make it to the festival until 5:45, but the festival started at 1 pm, and I wasn’t about to miss out on all of those hours of ice cream, so I met some other friends there at 3 pm. I hadn’t seen those friends in years, so we had plenty to chat about while stuffing our faces with sweets. I arrived and scoped the scene: 8 vendors, 3-4 flavors per vendor, total of about 30 flavors to try. The flavor list had been released a few days prior, so I had an idea what I was in for, but I did a quick survey to double check. Vendors: Baskin-Robbins, Ben & Jerry’s, Breyers, Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory, DF Mavens, Graeter’s, Häagen-Dazs, and Vice Cream.
I went to Haagen-Dazs first, because they had adorable mini little single-serve cups. They even had little spoons inside the tops! I was drawn to this in the same way I can spend hours in CVS looking at the mini toiletries. However, this was MISTAKE #2: there was a lot of ice cream in those thingies! I was almost full and I had ONE flavor at ONE vendor! I never went back to that stand, but I did get some great photos.
I was intrigued by DF Mavens, which is vegan and completely dairy free (hence, DF). They used to have a shop in the East Village, and they were on my original list for #30Years30IceCreams, but they closed last year! I was excited to get to try it. I actually loved it! I liked the nutty flavor, but even more than the creamy ones, I was excited that they had a raspberry sorbet and mango creamicle flavor. After approximately 15 mini cup servings of dairy, it was a welcome palette-cleanser. They also had a great key lime flavor with chunks of pie crust in it, but more on the particular flavors in my Week 4 update.
By 4 pm, my friends and I tried and/or grabbed one flavor at each of the vendors, then we decided we needed a break. There was no reentry allowed if you left, so we found a little corner to sit on the ground and digest/eat the cups we had in our hands. We made friends who had the same idea as we did, but they were better prepared with a sheet to sit on. We chatted with our new friends, and a guy who was volunteering at the event who happened to go to UF! The Gator Nation really is everywhere. Every 30 minutes or so, we got up and did another lap to try more flavors and get in some FitBit steps. Our new friends loved free swag and somehow managed to snag us Volunteer shirts from the event, Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors shirts AND awesome Yankees hats! We did a bit of volunteering, since our picnic area was by the staff exit, and we had to keep telling people it was not an exit. “Not an exit.” “Not an exit.” “This isn’t an exit.” “Where do you exit? Um, do you remember where you came in? Try there.” Totally worth the shirt. It’s a 2XL, but it was super comfy to sleep in last night. And the best part of the shirt? Even though there was technically no reentry, if you were a volunteer, you could come and go as you pleased! SCORE.
However, I didn’t leave at all. 4 hours in, it neared time for my blind friend date. I was nervous! What if the girl wasn’t cool and I was stuck with her in icecreamland? Good news, we could always not talk and just eat. Plus, by this point I was a certified ice cream connoisseur (and half-event-staff) so I knew where to show her to the best flavors. My date showed up at 6, and we spent another 2+ hours sampling and taking photos. Good news, she was awesome! Bad news, I was incredibly full. Also bad news, Brooklyn Ice Cream ran out of Blueberry ice cream and ran out of mini cones and open-faced ice cream sandwiches by the time my new friend arrived. Good thing I had taken photos before! The two rookie mistakes I saw (and was able to warn my new friend against): Do NOT take the cup with the largest scoop and do NOT waste stomach room on flavors like vanilla and chocolate! Lamezilla! Why would you do that when you could get L’Orange A Trois, vanilla ice cream with orange ripple, milk, white AND dark chocolate chunks?!
Speaking of, that flavor was from my favorite brand of the day by far: Vice Cream. I hadn’t heard of them before, since they are new to New York (sold in Key Foods!), but the best part, besides the amazing, decadent flavors, was their story! Dan Schorr, founder of Vice Cream (who I also got a photo with, score!), had a goal to reintroduce true INDULGENCE into ice cream. No vegan, gluten-free crap. Schorr didn’t always believe in indulging, but in April 2014, he was diagnosed with lymphoma and given three months to live if untreated. “I ate really well, I ran every day, and I got cancer,” he said. “We think we can bring new consumers back to indulgent super-premium ice cream and give them permission to live life,” Schorr said. Oh, and did I mention that he is now #CANCERFREE?! And hilarious! Check out his blog, Humor with a Tumor! He was wearing a shirt that said “Don’t Be Such a Vanilla.” AMEN to that. Plus, their slogan is “Live Life, Dig In.” I can’t disagree with that.
Overall, 5+ hours of ice cream eating later, one blind friend date, 2 free t-shirts and a free hat later, I would say it was a great success. Also, as I was leaving, I happened to be in the most perfect position to see Manhattanhenge! That never happens. Watch out for the Week 4 recap of #30Years30IceCreams coming at you this week!! There’s no such thing as a cheat day, it’s just calling living. But I did run 6 miles this morning to try and make up for yesterday. #Balance #Blessed 😉
23 days down, 7 to go. 20 ice creams down, 10 to go, maybe 11, if you don’t count Sip Sak, below. But now it is crunch time. All bets are off. Also, all non-stretch pants are off. I’m officially 3 ice creams behind, but I am picking up speed. I have the next 2 days off of work thanks to the Jews and their cheesecake holiday (more on that later), and I plan on filling them with ice cream, ice cream, and more ice cream. Here’s what I have discovered, I like a complicated ice cream, a mix of flavors, some salt and sweet, some crunch and creamy. After 20 ice creams, you have to do more to impress me than simply sticky a dairy (or non-dairy) product in a cone. I am becoming quite the ice cream connoisseur. I am also counting down the days until my life no longer revolves around frozen treats.
TL;DR
This week was my actual birthday! I am officially 30 years old. Luckily, I started this quest on May 7th, so I have 7 more days to pick up some slack. I also have 7 more days to find my long-lost metabolism, which I am pretty sure I left in my 20’s, somewhere around 22. I have been really sick for the past week, and that has gotten in the way of my taste buds, my energy, and my drive to stuff my stomach with frozen goodies.
This week I went to an old-time soda fountain for AMAZING sundaes. It was the best place I have been so far, and I gave it a 9.5, in case somewhere in the next week lives up to the elusive perfect 10. The next day, I went to Turkish restaurant and had an off-menu lava-cake-like halva-stuffed ice cream dome. It was unique, to say the least. The next day I had a two-a-day (not the gym, god forbid), where I went to Wowfulls for aesthetically pleasing, but gustatorily sub-par waffle ice cream, and Snow Days, for shaved ice cream, something I had never experienced. It was like tasting actual snow, that sort of tasted like ice cream. Low in flavor, high in mental confusion. Think: Dippin’ Dots.
Friday I had a date night with my favorite emoji boyfriend at Cool Mess, where we picked our flavor and toppings, and made the ice cream on the table in front of us! VERY cute date idea, if you don’t mind the kids running around everywhere. Who doesn’t like a date that involves and activity, sweets, and a server who offers to take boomerangs of you!? Saturday, I went to Pier 6 in Brooklyn for Ample Hills ice cream. The view was fantastic, but unfortunately I was too sick to taste the ice cream. Rating of flavor was done by my trusty BFF. The next day was birthday celebration, where I topped off the week with a personalized Carvel Cake, reading, what else but #30Years30IceCreams. Without further ado: Week 3.
Brooklyn Farmacy and Soda Fountain is housed in a 1920s apothecary store in Brooklyn. It has only been open since 2010 as a soda fountain, but you wouldn’t guess that by walking in. It feels like going back in time. Even the waitresses, or “soda jerks,” seem old-timey. The sundaes though… to DIE for. They were MASSIVE. Three of us went after spin class, and we had a case of “eyes bigger than bellies” when we ordered 2 sundaes to split. First, we got the Mr. Potato Head, featured on Food Network, which has vanilla ice cream, peanut butter, and warm caramel sauce, topped with whipped cream and surrounded by salty potato chips. WOAH WOAH WOAH. I am a chip girl myself, so this was pure heaven. The salt, the sweet, the caramel, the crunch, the melty peanut butter. AMAZING. Best flavor combo so far on this journey. Then came the big kahuna: the 99 Problems sundae. It was a warm brownie, topped with chocolate ice cream, “doused” in vanilla milkshake, topped with a dark chocolate coconut shell, whipped cream, shaved chocolate and a cherry. This thing was literally larger than my head. See below. Unreal. Between the brownie, and the coconut hints of the chocolate shell (they use coconut oil to harden it), and the vanilla milkshake… I have never had anything like it before. HIGHLY recommend. Also, if you buy a Jerk shirt, you can get free egg creams forever! Or buy Fox’s U-Bet syrup in store, and make them yourself at home.
Photo Opp outside
Clearly post-gym, sitting at the soda fountain.
Mr. Potato Head in all of its potato chip glory
#1 Brooklyn Farmacy: 99 Problems Sundae
This thing was as big as my head.
Bad idea: having a scale at an ice cream sundae spot.
Bargain alert! Jerk Shirt = free egg creams.
Old-Timey things for sale, including Fox’s U-Bet chocolate syrup for egg creams!
Sip Sak – Ice Cream with a Halva Crust (no official Instagram but you can find geotagged photos here) May 23, 2017
Aesthetic (9) Flavor (6) Texture (6) Overall (7)
This place may not count toward my 30 places, since it is not technically known for its ice cream. However, the restaurant is amazing. So I recommend it with or without the ice cream. It’s a Turkish restaurant with a famous chef known for his off-menu items and Michelin stars. Luckily I went here with a friend who spoke Turkish and she took care of all of the expert ordering. She got Semolina Halva for dessert, which was a pine nut-enriched semolina crust over a dome of creamy ice cream (also off-menu). It was like a Turkish version of chocolate lava cake. The texture of the halva was not my favorite but the ice cream was creamy and a great “cherry on top” of a delicious meal. Also, I always like a hot crust/cold ice cream juxtaposition.
You’d never guess what was inside…
Break it open for gooey goodness.
YUM.
Wowfulls – Hong Kong Egg Waffle Colorful Instagrammable Ice Cream (@wowfulls) May 24, 2017
Aesthetic (10) Flavor (7) Texture (6) Overall (7)
I love me a good waffle ice cream. Last week when I went to New Territories, a patron there told me that Wowfulls had better ice cream, but worse waffles; he was right. The waffle was almost too well-done, so it was crunchy, not fluffy. However, this was a beautiful ice cream. We got the crazy vanilla, which was three colors, but tasted like vanilla. The ice cream was great, the toppings were great (condensed milk, whipped cream, fruity pebbles, mini gummy bears and strawberries), but the waffle was sub-par. Service was fantastic; I was waiting there for 30 minutes for my friend and the workers chatted with me and let me taste as many flavors as I wanted. Overall, I’d say Eggloo or New Territories tasted better, but Wowfulls has a custom painted wall from @jgoldcrown just for photos. You can’t compete with that. Oh, and color-changing spoons! Made my night.
Custom mural stole my heart.
I mean come on, it doesn’t get any prettier than this.
Second stop of the night. This was something different and interesting in a weird way. It was like shaved ice, but creamy like ice cream. It’s a combo of Taiwanese and Korean shaved ice, with a fluffy texture of snow, but creaminess of ice cream. They produce these small batches of ice cream blocks every day, then shave it into cups to order. We got the smallest size possible (which was HUGE), in a YETITRACKS(TM) flavor, which is basically like cookies and cream. The whole place has a Yetti theme, which makes for great photos and adorable cup creations. Extra points for them because we picked the three allotted toppings, and they added Pocky sticks for free for effect (again, always tell them you will blog about it!). Overall, it was a different-tasting experience, not my favorite type of texture, but it was a great value for the money and super cute in photos!
Shaving Ice Action Shot.
This is the cutest looking ice cream around.
It looks just like the wall! Even yettis like taking photos for instagram.
Excitement over MORE color-changing spoons.
You can see the inside here, snow-like texture.
Even the choking poster featured yettis.
Cool Mess – DIY Ice Cream on the table (@coolmessnyc) May 26, 2017
Aesthetic (7) Flavor (7) Texture (8) Overall (9)
This place has been on my list of date ideas for over a year, and I finally got my emoji-bf to accompany me. In theory, I guess it’s a place for kids and kids’ parties, and I think we were the only people there over the age of 15 without kids that were under the age of 5. Oh well. The kids clearly know where it’s at. We picked a vanilla base, and added Oreos, bananas, cookie dough and OF COURSE plenty of rainbow jimmies. It only took 8 minutes of waiting for our ice cream to finish freezing. Probably a long time for kids, but just enough time to instagram/boomerang/snapchat for a girl newly in her thirties. As far as price goes, it’s a bit steep for ice cream ($29.95 for two people), but we had a really fun time and it was a great cheap date, relative to other things! You can’t go to a movie for that, and we got to eat our creation. The flavor wasn’t anything outrageous, but the fun experience (and great company 😉 ) knocked this place up to an overall 9. Plus they had their own Snapchat filter. (Also, expert tip, they sell DŌ cookie dough there, if you don’t want to wait in line for an hour.)
Steps to the mess.
Ice Cream in process…
Mash up the cookie dough, add to the base.
TADA!! Beautiful, DIY ice cream!
Cool Mess: Ice Cream You Make! Emoji BF cameo
The way to my heart is through a customized snapchat filter.
I ran into a problem here: Ample Hills has many locations, but I really wanted to go to this one on the water for the photos. Main problem: they are only open during the day, and mostly only on the weekend! By the time I finally got around to going, I was sick and I couldn’t taste anything. We got Munchies flavor (pretzel-infused ice cream with clusters of Ritz crackers, potato chips, pretzels and M&Ms) and Oh Fudge (Vegan, non-dairy chocolate with coconut milk and a splash of rum). Luckily, I had my best friend with me as a tasting buddy (the flavor is ranked by her). You know what they say about how your other senses are heightened when you lose one? Well that is true. I really enjoyed the texture, and the photos came out great! Aesthetic of the ice cream itself wasn’t anything special, but with the Freedom Tower and Brooklyn Bridge behind it, it was really something. After enjoying some nothing-flavored creaminess, I went home and went back to bed with some Dayquil.
The pièce de résistance of the week: the Carvel Cake my big sis got me for my birthday! And of course she had it iced in the only best way possible: #30Years30IceCreams. I had people over to my rooftop for my big 3-0 celebration, and we could not have had a birthday celebration without ice cream. It was a typical half vanilla-half chocolate with chocolate crunchies in the middle (the best part!). It was a beautiful sunny day, and it was a great break from the sangria-drinking. I also have a LOT left in my freezer. I can have a piece every week until my 31st. Do like Drake and turn my birthday into a lifestyle.
My best friend also hand-baked mini cupcakes and iced them, and stuck them in sugar cones to look like mini ice creams. She knows the way to my heart. Technically that doesn’t count as ice cream, but they were so precious (and DELICIOUS) so I included a few photos below.
Cake Close-up.
#4 Carvel Cake: Because look at that #hashtag.
Happy Birthday to me!
Yum!
Vanilla cupcake ice cream close-up.
Chocolate cupcake ice cream close-up.
It is the home stretch. This Mucinex DM better start working ASAP because I’ve got some catching up to do! Wish me luck and send Kleenex my way.
Living in New York for almost 7 years, I would not consider myself a native or an expert at all (I still have NO IDEA where the J train even goes… does anyone take that train?). However, I have picked up some very useful tidbits along the way. You can use them if you live in NYC, or you can use them if you’re visiting and you don’t want to be automatically targeted as a tourist by a panhandler.
BEWARE THE EMPTY SUBWAY CAR. This is not a drill. As with everything in this city, if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. I once didn’t see anyone in a car and when I got in, I realized I was in the apartment of a man. I swear I think he had a full kitchen with a Bunsen burner in there. TBH, I was a little jealous of his low/nonexistent rent payments. Main problem, of course, is that he didn’t have a shower. You get it.
Sidenote: Even if the subway car IS 100% empty, you’ll probably just spend the whole ride waiting for the anyone else to get on, and wondering if you’ll be the next person “ripped from the headlines” for Law and Order SVU. Rule of thumb: just avoid the empty cars.
BEWARE THE FULL SUBWAY CAR. Especially in the summer. I know I sound like a hypocrite here, but is a happy medium too much to ask for? Trust me, loose hair, sweaty bodies, arms in the air… It’s all just a bad combination. If the next train is coming in 3 minutes, do yourself a favor and wait.
If you see a young person standing in the middle of the sidewalk in a pinnie holding an Ipad, CROSS THE STREET. I don’t care if it’s for the ASPCA, and they asked you if have “30 seconds for the animals” and if you LOVE animals. It never takes 30 seconds. NEVER. You’ll probably end up $10 poorer with 5 emails/week from change.org. Just put in those earbuds, and avoid eye contact.
Speaking of earbuds, never leave home without them. There’s nothing that calls out “TOURIST” more than a person without earbuds. Why are you taking in the sights and sounds? The sights: dirty. The sounds: loud. There, now you know. And I saved you 10 minutes shooing away hecklers asking you to go to a “free” comedy show.
Free stuff abounds. I know what you’re thinking, how can there be free stuff in the most expensive city in the USA? Well here’s how: you pay for it in time. Last week there was free ice cream at Ben & Jerrys… for anyone who was willing to wait on a line that was 2 avenues long. Free movies? That too. Free tickets to shows? That too. But be prepared to wait. If there’s one thing New Yorkers love to do, it’s queue. And get something for free.
Mystery-depth slush lagoons in the winter. There are many articles in the Gothamist about this particular near-death phenomenon. Invest in some rain boots, unless you love sitting at work for 10 hours in soaking wet, freezing, gray/black pants.
Garbage day in the summer. AVOID AVOID AVOID. You know those gas masks you see people wearing in China because of the smog? I’ve considered investing in one. Yes, it’s that bad.
City juice. You know when you’re walking down the street and something wet hits your shoulder. And you think, “Hm, I didn’t think it was supposed to rain today” and then you look up and there isn’t a cloud in the sky… and then you think “maybe it was from a window AC unit,” but there aren’t any of those either… My advice: pretend it didn’t happen. Then, when you get home, take a nice, long shower.
Shoes. Nothing makes you stand out more in NYC than shoes you can’t walk in. New York is one of the only places you will see people walk around in fashionable clothes and comfy kicks. You really can’t afford not to. How else will you wade through the slush lagoons and trash piles?
Feel free to leave any other advice in the comments. Like I said, I’m still learning so if you have any pro-tips (like how to avoid sweating through your clothes before you get to the office in August), let me know.
