In case you did not know, I am turning 30 HUGE years old in exactly 18 days (but who’s counting). Since I tend to quote Friends at least 3 times a day, I started to think about The One Where They All Turn 30, and how Phoebe accomplished all of her goals by the time she turned 30 (except one), including bouncing one mile on a Hippity Hop. If you have been following my blog, you will know that I ran a half marathon 2 weeks ago. That was really the only thing I had set to accomplish. But then I remembered the draft email I had made last year with ice cream places I wanted to visit in New York, food capital of the world, and also the city in which I happen to reside. This seemed like a much more fun thing to accomplish than running 13 miles. The list had about 15 places on it, but I am a firm believer in “go big or go home,” so I decided to add on. My list now exceeds 30 places.

The rest is history, I found my #ThisIs30 endeavor: it begins with copious amounts of calories, and indubitably ends in a sugar coma. You can follow my quest in real-time here on this google map. I don’t even have a sweet tooth. I can eat an entire bag of hot Cheetos and Takis in one sitting, but I am also the annoying girl who eats 2 bites of a cookie and puts it back (ask my mom, it INFURIATES her). This is not really an idyllic mission for me, but that’s where the challenge comes in.

Ideally I would have liked to hit 30 places by the time I turned 30 (May 29), but I started 7 days late (May 7), so I decided to settle for 30 places within 30 days (by June 6). I am currently taking all suggestions for hashtags for this epic quest (WRITE THEM IN THE COMMENTS!), but for now, you can follow my adventures at #30Years30IceCreams. I am also taking applications for ice cream buddies, as I have already realized I will need to share ice cream if I even attempt to finish this.

I will update you weekly on my progress. Since Sunday, I have experienced three (I AM SO BEHIND) and I will post a week-end summary on Mondays. I will be reviewing each mission on a scale of 1-10 in 4 categories: (1) Aesthetic (2) Flavor (3) Texture (4) Overall. At the end, I will rank them. Quick disclaimer here that I am not a professional food critic. But I am human, and I do have taste buds, so I’m pretty sure I qualify as something (obese by the end of this, most likely).

Last year when I started my list, I tried to go to some of the places, but without as much drive as I have now. I will begin here by reviewing the places I went to in the past year, but before I began my official adventure. These technically do not count toward the challenge but ALSO TECHNICALLY they are ice creams, and I did have them by the time I turned 30, so without further ado… #30Years30IceCreams.

10 Below – Rolled Ice Cream (@10belowicecream) June 25, 2016

Aesthetic (9) Flavor (8) Texture (10) Overall (9) 

This place is awesome. Hands down. It was my first foray into rolled ice cream (more to come, do not fret), and it was totally worth it. First of all, it’s dinner and a show (or dessert, at least). They make it right in front of you. Pouring, spreading, crushing toppings, mixing in, spreading again, rolling, stacking in the cup… it’s a lot of manual labor. Definitely deserves an extra tip. And the texture – WOAH. This ice cream, since it is never sitting in a big freezer vat, is SO CREAMY. I’ll admit, I only went to this place for the photo (who can resist a good Instagram), but the texture completely blew me away. Worth it, worth it, worth it. The only reason this place isn’t a 10 is because I am waiting for that PERFECT ice cream. I’m determined.

Black Tap – Photogenic Milkshake (@blacktapnyc) July 22, 2016

Aesthetic (9) Flavor (6) Texture (7) Overall (7)

Ok, so this technically isn’t ice cream. But it has ice cream in it, and it looks AWESOME. Everyone has seen photos of these online, so of course it was #1 on my list last year. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much to boast about after the photo. I had seen so many options of milkshakes in the photos online and on Instagram, so I was disappointed when I arrived and there were only 3 choices. We picked the prettiest one (as one does, since the photo is obvi the most important part). The flavor was so-so. We got cookies and cream, which was fine, but nothing to blog about. The cotton candy was eh. The candies stuck to outside were not good at all. Sort of like off-brand fake M&M’s your weird neighbor gives you on Halloween , and you then give away to your younger brother. Overall disappointing, but worth the photo.

Chikalicious – Melty Churro Cone Soft Serve (@chikaliciousnyc) July 31, 2016

Aesthetic (6) Flavor (5) Texture (5) Overall (5) 

Soft Serve + Summer = disaster. It was super hot in the place, and it melted so fast, we barely got a good photo. TRAVESTY. I mean, why else are we here? Also, NAPKINS GUYS. Do not forget. The place is super small, so you order and then GTFO. Do not forget the napkins before you flee. The churro cone was too hard and crumbled everywhere. Since we had to eat outside, a bird pooped on me while we ate. TBH this probably had an effect on my overall rating. Luckily I had one lone napkin left.

Serendipity 3 – Frozen Hot Chocolate (@serendipity3nyc) Aug. 2nd and 13th, 2016

Aesthetic (7) Flavor (7) Texture (6) Overall (7) 

I had lived in New York for 6 years and never been here, but then I went twice in a month because I had people visiting. (New Yorkers: we all do this, right? Ignore everything in our city until someone comes to visit and begrudgingly go to the Top of the Rock with them? It is a cool view, though.). Anyway, the frozen hot chocolate was not technically ice cream. It counts though. I thought it would taste like a chocolate milkshake, but it actually tastes like frozen hot chocolate. So A+ on lack of #alternativefacts. It looks pretty, too. And it’s HUGE. But practically speaking, that’s a lot of whipped cream, and a heck of a lot of “hot” chocolate. It could have used some pizzazz. Like a waffle or something (see below).

Eggloo – Amazing Hong Kong Egg Waffle Ice Cream (@myeggloo) Jan. 22, 2017

Aesthetic (10) Flavor (9) Texture (8) Overall (9)

Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES. So good. You had me at waffle. Add Fruity Pebbles and Pocky and Oreos on ice cream? I died and went to heaven. And then I came back because I still have a lot of ice cream to try. But seriously, go to this place. And it basically counts as breakfast, because waffles. Duh. The texture with the waffle-ice cream combo is amazing. The waffle didn’t get as soggy as I thought it would get. I will warn you that it’s a bit awkward to simultaneously hold and eat and take a photo (fork for the waffle? or spoon for the ice cream? loopy case for phone-holding?) so bring your dexterity skills.

This concludes my (retrospective) first installment of #30Years30IceCreams. Follow my progress here, and I will be posting a Week 1 recap on Monday. If I do not, or if I am MIA from Instagram for a full day, call EMS. And alert them that it is most likely my insulin levels. Wish me luck.