CPXperience at Sky

Friday night I died 5 times. But here I am, risen from the dead, very sore, and here to tell the tale.

Backstory: I heard about a gym called Ripped from Well and Good (review coming at another time), and at the class last Tuesday, the trainer, Courtney Paul, plugged this “super fun fitness event” he was hosting on Friday. He said the venue would be “bougie AF” and there would be “lots of hot guys there.” I was intrigued. Then he said it was FREE. My favorite price. So I RSVPed. But then I got terrified and so I invited 10 of my closest fitness buddies to come with me, and out of 10, one said yes. Shout out to Mary, my ride or die. Mostly die.

This event was a collaboration of Life Time Athletic at Sky, with Courtney’s special fitness baby called CPX. As he asks on his website, “are you ready for the CPXperience?” Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I was. But his Instagram made it seem like it was going to be cool, there was a post-workout pool party, and I was interested in seeing the outside, all-turf space, 11 stories above ground. Plus, it was a breezy 70 degrees so I couldn’t even use the weather as an excuse. Oh, and did I mention it was FREE? I did.

But still, I was intimidated. Courtney was featured on the Bravo show Work Out New York, and he can sometimes be fun and playful, (lots of sexual innuendo), but can sometimes be f*cking terrifying, screaming at you to get your treadmill to 9.0 MPH for the sprint or he will do it for you. Luckily there were going to be no treadmills on Friday night, so I felt a little bit more at ease going into it.

A little about the workout: CPX is an “ultimate fusion of body conditioning with a circuit flare.” He says on Instagram that it is meant to “redefine HITT.” HITT is usually used in the military as “high intensity tactical training,” and I’m not sure if he really meant HIIT, or “high intensity interval training,” but either way, it was definitely high intensity. His workout (and he) has been featured in a lot of articles and magazines, you can see some links here on his website.

I arrived at Sky, where I went in a revolving door to a bougie AF lobby (he was not exaggerating). I had to sign a waiver on an iPad, check in, and receive my wristband. I felt so official. Mary and I took the elevator to the 11th floor, where we were some of the last to arrive, as usual. We grabbed mats and resistance bands, Mary got a complimentary energy drink, and we set our mats at the very back of the AstroTurf in the corner. I would ballpark about 80 people there. Not too shabby. The music started bumping and we started squatting. A lot of Courtney screaming in the microphone to keep our weight in our heels, and what seemed like 3 hours later, we moved away from legs, and on to abs. I think in reality, it was only 10 minutes. For the next 25 minutes we did squats, lunges, plank walkouts, butterfly kicks, crunches, etc., then we grabbed our resistance band for upper body toning. We did 10 minutes of bicep curls, upright rows, tricep kickbacks, partner rows in squats, etc. Finally, I thought we were getting a break. Joke was on me. We dispersed to the areas surrounding the turf where they had various benches and couches. They were not for sitting, though. They were for tricep dips, step-ups, and squats. For some reason this was my favorite part. Maybe because I just like being in proximity to seats.

We capped off the workout with some partner patty-cake planks, and partner core exercises. Check out my boomerang! Clearly staged, since I am smiling. I am a wuss and I probably stopped and didn’t do 10% of the workout. But to be fair, every time I looked around, there were always a few people taking breaks. That’s the nature of an interval class. Work as hard as you possibly can, then take a break when you absolutely must. I woke up the next day with a lot of different, obscure muscles aching, so I would say it was a success, even if I only did 90% of the workout. Ok, 85%.

Anyway, the workout was over just as the sun was setting, the apartment building/gym lit up, and we proceeded to the pool for the after-party. I had packed a swimsuit just in case, but it was a little too cold to hop in. The pools had an amazing view of the Empire State Building, PLUS they had one of those massive blow-up swan/flamingo floaties. (Check out Courtney flailing around on his Instagram after I left, LOL) I was very tempted to go in. Oh, AND they were hosting the 2017 Ultimate Hoops National Tournament. BALLIN’! It turned out this was a fancy-type bougie club. Too bad I was in spandex, with no makeup and covered in sweat. Also, the drinks were $16/piece. We stuck around for a bit for some Class A people-watching, saw some people (bball players?) getting interviewed on the step and repeat, then we took a photo of ourselves, duh, and found a place with more reasonably priced cocktails (read: cheap margaritas).

Overall, it was a successful FREE night of fitness in beautiful weather, and Calvin, the Studio Manager at Life Time Athletic gave us a free pass to try another one of their classes. I will definitely be taking him up on that! Go check out Courtney Paul’s CPXperience if you wanna get your butt kicked.

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So Sore

Guys, I am so sore. I don’t think I can clearly express this feeling. I am basically immobile. Here’s what happened: Tuesday, I was going to see a free movie pre-screening with a friend after work (shout out Fatima for the free pass, and shout out Ryan Reynolds for being so adorable). Since I knew I couldn’t go to the gym after work, I decided to go to a 6:30 am class that my friend Hannah was teaching. I used to teach this same exact class, Les Mills Grit, at 6:30 am on Thursdays. But then I found my sanity, realized that it did not make rational sense to wake up at 5:30 in the morning, and I gave my class to Hannah. She now teaches at that ungodly hour TWICE A WEEK. She is a stronger person than I am. In more ways than one. Anyway, I met her outside her apartment at 5:30 am, in the dead of night, and we took the subway down to Brooklyn. Les Mills Grit is a high intensity interval training (HIIT) workout, and the strength version of Grit uses a barbell, weight plates, and body weight to improve strength and build lean muscle. In theory. In REALITY, what it does is KICK YOUR ASS. And your quads. Mostly your quads.

Yesterday, Wednesday, I was incredibly sore so I went to Peloton (remember my blog about that place?) in an attempt to shake out my legs. I was planning on having terrible stats, since I could barely move. I actually ended up performing incredibly well, top ten in the class, and beat my personal best overall output. This was mostly because my legs were physically unable to move quickly, so I just ramped up the resistance. Today, my legs are EVEN WORSE.

Here are a few things I am unable to do, thanks to being a cripple:

  • Walk. Now it’s more like a wobble. Or waddle. I swear I used to be able to walk without looking like I was wearing a full diaper.
  • Use the bathroom. It’s going to be an uncomfortable week doing the pee-pee dance until it is ABSOLUTELY necessary. Maybe I SHOULD wear a diaper.
  • Pick things up from the ground. If I drop something, I am considering it a “pay it forward.” Maybe I’ll make someone’s day. Unless It’s a dollar. Then I will struggle.
  • Stand up from a seated position. I need handicapped railings at my desk. STAT.
  • Bend or crouch.

So basically, all I can do is sit. And I can’t get up. I’m like the woman on that Life Alert commercial from days of yore. 1987 to be exact. If you need me, you know where to find me. Exactly where I was when you left me.

 

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