Big City Living

Heat v. Knicks Game

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I know I keep on saying I’ve peaked, but now I really have. I had the best day of my life when I was in the Macy’s Parade (I’m literally never going to stop talking about that, so you should get used to it). And now, I have had the best night of my life, attending the Heat v. Knicks game in the FIRST ROW, center court. You may remember how my friend got me into The Parade, well another friend of mine got me in to see this game! I am really #winning at this “friends” thing.

Here’s how it happened: My best friend and college roommate works in media. When you work in media, you tend to have reps for companies you work with, and they have perks. Lots of perks. My friend didn’t even ask for this these tickets! She just casually mentioned being a Miami Heat fan, and the rep was like “let me see if I can get you tickets next time they are in town.” He didn’t mention they were ROW ONE!!

  • See me photobombing?
  • We were basically on the court
  • Selfie Skills

It was a girls’ night with four of us, and we met up 30 minutes before the game. These top-notch tickets also come with access to the Delta Sky Club lounge, which means FOOD. FREE FOOD. There is a catered buffet with lamb, mashed potatoes, shrimp cocktail, burgers, the whole nine. Then there are also hot dogs, soft pretzels etc. AND there is a sushi bar with fresh sushi and all of the condiments. After we finished our pre-game food, we stocked up on food-to-go to bring to our seats. There were bags of cotton candy, bowls of candy, boxes of popcorn and cracker jacks. We were loaded up. I should have brought a bigger purse. We didn’t have time for 16 Handles. Shame. Booze wasn’t included but I was already too full. Plus, one of my friends is pregnant, so #Solidarity, or something.

Once we got to our seats with our many snacks, we realized how AMAZING the seats were. Center court, right behind the announcers. This came in handy for replays. We could see them on the announcer’s screens in front of us! Let me mention the celebrities. SO MANY OF THEM! First of all, the legend, Carmelo Anthony was in the house as well as Sophie Turner. But better yet, we were sitting directly behind “comedian row,” courtside in front of us were Hassan Minhaj, John Mulaney, and Leslie Jones! Also in front of us was CC Sabathia of the New York Yankees.

  • We were so close, we were almost in the shot when they zoomed in on celebs
  • We were as shocked as John Mulaney and Hassan Minhaj to be there.
  • Who is this guy? Def famous but I couldn’t place him!
  • Dwyane Wade hugging Leslie Jones, and CC Sabathia Photobombing me.

I was so busy staring at the celebs in front of me, that as I was mindlessly chatting with the random guy to my left about my love for Dwyane Wade (natch), I got a text from my friend sitting on my right. “Do you know who we think you’re sitting next to? Elton from Clueless.” Aka Jeremy Sisto. It was true! I couldn’t place him, but it was definitely the famous “rollin’ with the homie” and I was was rollin’ with him! I tried to google him a few times during the game, but he was literally sitting next to me, so I waited until halftime. I finally got up the courage to ask him if he was in Law and Order (I didn’t want to date myself with the Clueless reference) and he said yes! He sort of rolled his eyes and he said “that’s me, Detective Lupo,” to which the guy he was with replied, “You were in Law and Order? Detective Loophole?” HA! Little did I know, the guy who thought he was Detective Loophole was actually his costar on his current show, FBI! Who knew!?

The night would not have been the same if the Heat hadn’t won. That is the whole point of the game, right? It was so awesome to be courtside, it felt like we were IN the game! We were much more invested because we felt like we were on the court. And the game was CLOSE! The Heat pulled through in the 4th quarter and won 106-97. YASSS. It was amazing to be there to witness Dwyane Wade’s last season, and to wear his jersey, the same color they were wearing that night! When he left the court, he received a standing ovation, as he should have.

The fun didn’t end there. My friend (the same one who got us the tickets) is from Miami, and her sister knows a few of the guys on the team. My friend, therefore, knows them, too! One of her Heat friends left us post-game passes at will call, so we were able to go to a special section of the stands after the game and mingle with the players. Wade is too cool for that, but a couple of the other heavy hitters came out and chatted with friends and family all around us! Whiteside, Richardson, Winslow, etc.

It was a dream come true. Everything from the free food, to the girls’ night out, to the celeb spotting, to the Heat win… it was magical. And now I can never go to a Heat Game again because it will never compare.

  • YASSS LESLIE!!!
  • Half-time crazy show.
  • Post-Game mingle.
  • And of course, a hair pic. Featuring Wade’s jersey.
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Big City Living

Sizzling City Summer

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Yesterday was approximately 1009 degrees Fahrenheit. Who knows what that is in Celsius (really…  no one knows), but the point is, the second I left the house, I regretted it. And I started to count the hours until my next shower. 13. FML. If you haven’t noticed, New York City hates the heat. They also hate the cold, and love to complain about pretty much anything, but they especially hate the heat. That’s proven by our rise in violent crime in the summer. We get hot, we get angry, we literally kill each other. Seems logical.

There’s no avoiding the stifling heat. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s not even summer yet. That means it’s about to get EVEN WORSE. The heat is everywhere if you choose to leave home. And for some of us, due to our jobs, it’s inevitable on a Monday morning. The first sign of heat (besides the insufferable humidity and difficulty breathing) is the look on everyone’s faces. Gone are the friendly Christmas-in-New-York-Isn’t-The-Rockefeller-Tree-So-Pretty faces. New Yorkers are known for perfecting the RBF, but this version of Heat RBF is next level. Example of unspoken Heat RBF: “if you move one inch closer to me on this subway, I WILL CUT YOU.” No words are necessary. The eyes say it all.

Although the heat is undeniable and unavoidable, some places are worse than others. Here’s a list of the worst places to be in the heat:
  • Outside. We already covered this. Avoid at all costs. But if it’s impossible to avoid, reduce your outside time to small doses. That means if it’s more than 5 blocks away, it is now out of your “summer radius.” Enter Seamless/GrubHub/instacart. It’s worth the delivery fee. You’ll save that money in the amount of water you’ll save by not having to shower for the fourth time that day.
  • Rooftops. Plainly speaking, they are closer to the sun. Also, heat rises. It’s science. Some of us still believe in it. If someone asks you to grab drinks and chooses an outdoor rooftop in summer, with no air conditioning, they clearly hate you. Decline politely. Or not politely. Automatic swipe left.
  • Subway Stations. Now guys, I know this is unavoidable since we are already not walking more than 5 blocks. But if at all possible, avoid this. Can you take the bus? Subway stations are notoriously hot. Standing on the street in the heat and sun, though counter-intuitive, is actually much cooler than descending into this Hades-like death trap. It’s comparable to the depths of hell, I’m pretty sure. When people tell me I’m going to hell (happens a lot on the phone at the rabbi job), I generally tell them I am well prepared because I’ve been in a subway station in the summer. If it’s a subway station that has the option to wait upstairs, do that until the last possible moment. TRUST ME. Is it worth a cab? With MTA fares increasing every month, the answer is, probably yes. Or use Via. It’s only 5 bucks! (And you can get $10 free if you use my code emily5s6e #ShamelessPlug #HelpMeImPoor #InsertReminderThatIWentToLawSchoolForNoReason).
  • My Spin Class. The YMCA has been having some trouble controlling the temperature in the Spin room. 33 people. 33 bikes. 4 fans are simply not enough. So far, no one has fainted in my class but it is only a matter of time. I accidentally closed the door for 3 minutes (one song), and the mirrors in the front of the room completely fogged up. I drew a heart with my finger. But what I really wanted to draw was “KILL ME.” For some reason, nobody left before the 60 minutes of class were over. I would like to credit my amazing playlist (follow me on Spotify!), but I think these people are just SUPER-driven. If I wasn’t teaching, you can bet I would have pranced out of there by the second song.
  • A Subway Car with No AC. At this point, most New Yorkers have read about the epic F Train Near-Massacre last week. Everyone’s worst nightmare: the subway was between stops with no wifi, and it lost power. No power = No AC. People were stuck for almost an hour. They stripped off their clothes. They asked for help by writing on the fogged up windows like in my spin class. They screamed. They cried. Horrific. This phenomenon of subway cars with no AC requires its own blog post. For now, just know that as a rule of thumb, this is the ultimate thing to avoid.

Long story long, there’s no good place to be in New York City in the summer. It’s crowded, it’s hot, and it’s way too small. There are bad places, and there are worse places. My advice: make friends with someone who has a house in the Hamptons. Then tell me who they are, because I’ve been here 7 years and I haven’t found one yet. Godspeed, fellow New Yorkers, it’s going to be a scorcher. And please, for the love of god, do not forget deodorant. 

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