Fitness

Joining a Gym for Free

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I have been a gym rat for 12 years now, but also, I have basically always been poor. At least since I was 18. As of yet, my mint.com has not saved me the thousands of dollars I had hoped, so meanwhile I’ve perfected the art of joining the gym for free or for a reduced price. Most recently, I was in Pennsylvania helping my mom after she had a hip replacement (full blog on that coming soon), and I needed somewhere to work out for 7 days! So how did I do it? There are two key components: research, and lies. And a bit of persuasion.

The ultimate #winning move for a free gym has been teaching fitness classes. Not only do I get to use the gym for free, but I also get PAID to work out. Clearly this is not an option everyone would like to take advantage of, but if you want to talk to me about becoming a fitness instructor, I’d be happy to chat with you. There are basically only advantages. Anyway, if you don’t want to work out in front of 30 people, and talk the whole time, here are my ways to join a gym for free.

My first place I scope out is always Planet Fitness. Technically, they are $10/month and there is no commitment. However, they have been getting smart recently, and now there is a $69 initiation fee and a $39 annual fee, even if you cancel after one month. So no commitment? More like a commitment of $118 + as many months as you want. No thanks. Every once in a while, though, they waive the fees, and it really is $10/month. So do your research and check if they are running any specials. Also, if you have been a member previously (read: if you have ever paid $10 to them ever in the past), try and sell yourself as a RETURNING member, reinstating your membership. Then they sometimes waive the initiation fee. Of course this is complete and utter bullshit and word-jenga, but it sometimes works. I paid $10 to them 3 years ago when I went to my parents for a week-long Christmas vacation, and therefore, they waived the $69 fee the next time. I’ll take it.

Option Number Two: research and haggling skills. If you learn one thing in this blog post, learn this lesson: absolutely NEVER pay the first prices quoted at any corporate megagym. The first gym where I taught after college was LA Fitness, and it always blew my mind to hear what members were paying. Why? Because it was NEVER the same price! Research is key here; don’t be afraid to ask people what they are paying before you join! It cannot hurt to go into a gym consultation (AFTER USING THE FREE PASS, see below), with some info, so you can say “$50/month?? My friend Linda pays $39.” They can’t dispute that, because it is true! Also, lesson number three as stated above: initiation fees are complete bullshit. Gyms use initiation fees for two purposes, 1. To get more money from people who are afraid to counter it, and 2. So they have something to take away during their “membership drives” without losing any profit. Listen to me here: if you pay a gym initiation fee, you are a sucker. Lesson number four: PRETEND YOU’RE POOR. Or maybe you are poor! If that’s the case, don’t be afraid to say it. They will work with you. Let me reiterate here though, this is for megagyms like LA Fitness and YMCAs. SoulCycle doesn’t give a shit if you’re poor and doesn’t want you there. How will you buy their branded and upcharged lululemon?

Next option: new gyms. This is America, the land of the fat and constantly-dieting. Therefore, there are ALWAYS new gyms popping up. Pretty much any gym offers a bargain or free trial pass to get you in the door. Little do they know, you be going OUT the door in a few days, when the trial pass is over. This is where the lies and charm kick in. When I first moved to New York, I didn’t join a gym for 2 months. I was trying to get a gym to hire me to teach, and I didn’t want to waste money on a membership when I knew I would have to cancel once I started teaching. Let me tell you, I did not miss a single day in the gym. Between New York Sports Club’s week free pass, The YMCA’s multiple guest passes, my friends’ free guest passes to Equinox, free first classes at niche studios throughout Brooklyn and Manhattan, I had very toned legs, and a full wallet.

Most recently in Pennsylvania, my mom had heard about a new Anytime Fitness, where her manicurist is a member. I checked them out online and BAM, free 7 day pass. (They also have a Groupon right now! Do your research, guys.) I was only going to be in Pennsylvania for 5 days, so that was perfect. Only catch here, you had to be local. Well guess what, my mom is local, and we still have the last name! (If emoji bf doesn’t step it up, I may be able to use this fact to my advantage forever.) I filled out the form online, used my mom’s address, then I armed myself with a believable and half-true story, and an inquisitive, “I’m trying to decide which gym to join” face. The first day I tried to go to the gym ready to pretend to listen to a pitch, there was no one there. Anytime Fitness is 24/7 for members, but if you’re on a free pass, the manager has to be there to let you in. Although the door said someone would be there until 2 pm, it was 1 pm and the door was locked. As I stood at the door pondering my options, a guy left the gym and held the door open for me. Don’t mind if I do! I walked right in and had a great 2 hour workout. Lesson here: just loiter in front of the door of a gym. Someone will eventually leave.

The next time I went to Anytime Fitness, the manager was there and he showed me around. The whole thing took under 5 minutes. The lesson here: when they ask you if you have questions, it’s ok to say no. The only real question you have after all, is, “when can I start my workout?” As it turns out, I didn’t have to use my well-spun story of lies at all. I told him I had “just come from New York” (true) and when he asked how I heard about the gym, I told him my mom’s manicurist is a member (also true). He didn’t ask for my ID or anything! I had taken my mom’s license, just in case, but it turned out all I needed was my winning smile. 😉 The manager told me that not only would he knock $30 off the initiation fee (again, always tell them you are poor), but also, he said he would extend my free 7 day pass to be 14 days. Dang! I almost slipped and told him it was too bad I’d only be in town for 5. But I just smiled and nodded. Today is my last day in Philly and I’m a little sad to let my 9 remaining free trial pass days go to waste. I used their cable machines, the TRX, the kettle bells, the Open Stride, and even their virtual studio to take a step class. I would actually recommend this place. After some serious haggling, of course, and definitely without an initiation fee.

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Fitness

Peloton

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Peloton is my new spin-obsession (spin-session?) I have officially been teaching fitness classes for 11 years, and I don’t plan to stop any time soon. What that means is, I am VERYYY picky when it comes to the exercise classes I attend. Why should I pay $32-$40/class when I get PAID to do exactly the same thing? Plus, I have a gym in my building. This is especially true when it comes to Spin classes. You will RARELY see me pay to Spin since I teach 2-3 Spin classes a week, and don’t even get me started on SoulCycle and what a waste of money it is. So why, you may ask, did I drop $100 last week at Peloton, and attend 5 classes in one week in addition to my normal gym routine? Because Peloton is AWESOME. That’s why. Also, because I completed their Summer Fit List challenge and got TEN CLASSES FOR FREE. More on that later. But first, let me tell you about the bike, the concept, and the studio.

Peloton has their own bike, and it is a “cutting-edge” piece of equipment that “combines the very best of fitness and tech.” I stole those words from their website. But I can vouch for them, too. Each bike rides incredibly smoothly (made of carbon and steel), works with Delta-clip spin shoes (they are free to rent with each class), and there is a massive iPad-like screen on each bike to track metrics. The home bikes have huge screens, like a TV (photo below). They sell the bike to people all over the world, and it comes with a hefty price tag ($1,995 plus a $39 per month subscription fee). But then, you get access to unlimited live-streamed OR on-demand classes. When you ride in the studio, they constantly shout out to people who are “at-home riders,” and it adds a sense of larger community. Examples: “Hey Sven in Copenhagen!” “Alex in Moscow, congrats on 100 rides!” “Sarah in LA, Happy Birthday!”

When you ride in class, you have the option to ride as a guest or sign in. The iPad (a much smaller version of the big screen they have on the home-rider bikes) then tracks metrics such as cadence (revolutions per minute), output in watts, and resistance. Also, it tracks your total output in KJ on the leaderboard. The leaderboard shows how you are doing throughout the class, as well as how everyone else is doing throughout the world. My goal is always to be in top 15 during class, but I don’t always succeed. Also, keep in mind that hundreds of riders take the class after it is live, on-demand at home, so my ranking usually drops drastically afterward. I have mentioned before that I’m not so big on competition, but I do love seeing how I compare against myself, and sometimes, I can compare myself to others to give myself an extra push. You can always “hide” the leaderboard from your screen if that’s not your thing. The tracking is eerily accurate, unlike some other bikes. Also, after the class is over, you can log into the site and see all of your stats from past classes and compare your progress. Even my one class from 2015 is still up there. You can also follow your friends, like on twitter, and see their workouts, compare performances etc.

Some people argue that they don’t like Peloton because the instructor teaches to at-home riders more than riders in the studio, and I would say that is true, it’s usually about 70-30 or 60-40 depending on the instructor. It’s a personal preference, but I don’t mind it at all. In fact, I like that the instructor gives you guidance on where your cadence and resistance should be and then lets you get in your own zone with the music. Maybe it’s because I am self-motivated in my workouts, but I don’t need the instructor in my face the whole time. I like the idea of 40% guidance and a slammin’ playlist, and I can challenge myself for the other 60% just by looking at my own stats (or some light competition with my peers on the leaderboard).

Peloton is an international phenomenon, but they only have one studio, and lucky for me, it’s in NYC. And it’s beautiful. They have a clothing showroom in the front, plus a few bikes to try out, then you can check in, receive your free shoe rental (COUGH COUGH SOULCYCLE COULD LEARN HERE), and then you go into this beautiful lounge area. They have couches, a juice/smoothie bar (for purchase), water that is infused with different fruits every day (for free), and a relaxing spot to wait for your class that is not a gross locker room. Oh, also, they livestream the current class (if one if going on) on the TV, so you can see what the at-home riders are seeing. You can even hop on the bike and ride along if you’d like. Pretty cool. The locker rooms are awesome too. They have showers with all of the fancy products, and they have pretty much anything stocked that you may have forgotten, from tampons to deodorant to flip flops.

The classes are amazing, too. They have metrics rides, theme rides, intervals and arms rides, low impact rides, etc. Like any gym, people will have their favorite instructors. So far, my favorite has been Alex, but that may be because it was a Y2K Hip Hip playlist, and any class that begins with Pass the Courvoisier has got my vote. But sometimes you can also be surprised. I went to a class subbed by Christine that was actually a canceled DJ ride, so I didn’t know what I was in for. It turned out it was a pop interval class, with songs by Little Mix and *NSync. I could not have been more pleased. It was also my second-highest overall output ever. So much fun! I highly recommend theme rides if you know the kind of music you’re into. I’ve taken classes by 7 different instructors, but the playlist is still my biggest motivator.

Now on to this challenge I just completed. Every once in a while, Peloton comes up with incentives for people to work out in the studio, and it definitely worked for me. This year, the #SummerFitList consisted of a postcard you needed to get stamped 10 times, for ten different things. If you’re thinking, “wow, 10 classes at $32 a pop is a LOT!” You are right. But they weren’t all classes, and with some strategic planning, I was able to complete the challenge in only 4 days, purchasing 4 rides. The ten things were:

  1. Take a 6 am class
  2. Take a Live DJ Ride
  3. Take 2 classes in 1 day
  4. Post a picture on social media with an instructor, tag @peloton and #SummerFitList
  5. Take an 8:30 pm class
  6. Take a theme ride
  7. Sit in the front row
  8. Take a 60-minute class
  9. Take a 20 minute class
  10. Bring a reusable water bottle to class

Now guys, I am a penny pincher, so I tried to get my money’s worth. First, I went to a 20-minute class and brought a reusable water bottle. The 2:30 pm classes are walk-in only and they are FREE so I got 2 stamps, no cost. Then on one day, I did a 6:30 am class (check) and an 8:30 pm class (check), which happened to be a theme ride (check), and also was 2 classes in one day (check), and I sat in the front row for both (check check) AND then I posted a photo with Alex on my Instagram afterward, with all necessary hashtags (check!). That was 6 stamps in one day, and only paying for 2 classes! I was able to pull off all stamps by only paying for 4 classes. And what did I get??? 10 FREE CLASSES. That’s right, $320 of free classes. Written another way, I paid for 4, and got 14. Not too shabby. Were my legs (and something else) completely sore after? YES. Did I miss out on a lot of sleep? YES. Did I get incredibly sick after? YES. Was it worth it? YES!!!

Good news is, the first class is FREE. BETTER news is, if you want to sign up through THIS LINK and take 3 classes, I can get a free class too. DO IT DO IT! We can take them together!! More Peloton!! I’m serious, check out those exclamation marks. Let’s get fit together 😀 If you take one spin class in NYC, this is the studio I would recommend (after my own classes)! USE MY LINK!

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Orangetheory Fitness

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What’s your idea of a good workout? A combination of cardio and strength moves utilizing state-of-the-art treadmills and rowers, all while tracking your exertion and heart rate on TV screens? Burning more calories even after you leave the gym? If so, then Orangetheory Fitness is for you.

Orangetheory Fitness is an interval workout backed by science, designed to keep your heart rate in a target zone that spikes metabolism and increases your EPOC or afterburn calories. In theory, the more you can keep your heart in that zone, the more splat points you get (more on that later), and the more calories you will burn after the workout is over. It’s a little complicated, but that Wikipedia link on EPOC explains it pretty well. Nothing like citing to a good Wikipedia article. Erin Andrews (another wiki link) is one of their spokespeople, so obviously it works; look at her! Also, she’s a Gator so I’m biased. Throughout the workout, you wear a heart rate monitor, or you can choose not to, and you can track calories burned, percentage of max heart rate, and OTF “splat points”, based on the amount of time you spend in the orange HR zone. My favorite part of this workout is that the point is not to burn out and go “all out” in the red zone the whole time. You leave feeling like you got an awesome workout, but you don’t leave feeling like you are going to die, or barf in the lobby on the way out. This has happened to me before (cough cough TONEHOUSE).

Anyway, as I mentioned last week, I recently went to OTF with my brother when I went to Washington DC, and we had a blast. One of my best friends from college is a head trainer for OTF and now trains and manages the trainers of the region, so I knew I was in good hands taking her class. This was not my first rodeo, however. I had been to Orangetheory a few times before in three different states: New York, Virginia, and Florida. The cool thing about OTF is that every day, the workout is the same in every studio around the country, so it doesn’t matter if you are traveling often. But even better, the workout is different each day! I have been to a class where they had an endurance day, a class that was a sprint-based power class, and a combo day. I have never been to this thing they call “Tornado Tuesday,” nor do I ever plan to go, because I do not hate myself. HA. Reddit has a glossary of OTF terms if you can’t keep up. Anyway, point of this story is, even though I’ve gone 5 times, I have never been bored.

When I went with my brother, it added a competition aspect that I did not even know I had in me. My brother is incredibly competitive. I’m talking, “throw a tantrum and leave the table during a game of monopoly” competitive. Me? Not so much. In my 4 previous times at OTF, I had only worn the heart rate monitor once. It is interesting to track and see my statistics after, but it’s not too important for me to watch it during the class. For my brother, though, it was not an option. So I strapped my heart rate monitor on under the strap of my sports bra, and readied myself for a massive competition. My brother has literally run the length of Israel before, whereas I have run one half marathon and sprained my ankle twice in the past 3 months. I was prepared to lose. But I didn’t let him know that!

The workout of the day was pretty complicated to follow, but we warmed up on the rowers, then started with floor exercises, which were demoed on the screens. I mostly followed the screens, but called Julie over to explain a few times. She didn’t treat me like a complete idiot, so that was a plus. I think some other people were lost, too. There were 3 rounds of 3 exercises, and you could pick the order. We used dumbbells, a step, and the TRX to do a combination of moves working all major muscle groups. Then after 25 minutes, we switched to cardio intervals on the treadmill then rower. After the floor section, my brother and I each only had 3 splat points, and the goal is 12-20. As I said above, you get a splat point for each minute you spend training in the orange zone. Clearly we had our work cut out for us on the treadmills.

My brother stared me down from his adjacent treadmill with a look in his eyes that could only be described as, “you’re going down, bitch.” Or maybe it was, “you’re going down, sis,” but either way, he made it clear he was playing to win. And sure enough, I had my eyes on the screen tracking his splat points more than I had my eyes on the treadmill. Probs dangerous, in hindsight. Anyway, my brother skipped his second interval on the rower to add more points and stay on the treadmill, aka HE CHEATED. He swears he just read the workout wrong, which is possible, because, like I said it was pretty complicated, but I choose to say he cheated. Anyway, joke was on him because while he was slaving away on the treadmill at 12.0 MPH, I was at a casual 5.8, and since I’m such a worse runner, my heart rate was the same as his, and soon enough, we were neck and neck at 14 points even. With 2 minutes left of class, I was ahead 17-16, but he caught up with seconds to spare, and we tied at 17 splat points.

Overall, OTF is super fun. I love the idea of having a workout that changes every day because I have a bit of workout A.D.D. and I get bored quickly. Watching your points go up on the screen adds to the feeling of accomplishment, and even though I wish I had beat my brother, I still feel like I had a great workout and left completely sweaty. I worked off at least one of my post-workout-sake-bombs. It was extra fun to have Julie as our instructor because she grew up with my brother too, and felt comfortable egging him on over the microphone. Plus, she always has a fab playlist. I highly recommend checking it out. Most first-timers are free if you’re local. In Manhattan it’s $20 for your first class because everything in this godforsaken city is expensive, but what else is new? It’s $319 unlimited for a month in NYC, which is out of my budget, but if you go 4 times a week, it works out to less than $20/class, which is cheaper than any other studio in NYC. Try it out and see if you can beat my brother’s and my splat points!

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The Dance

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Last week I reviewed 305 Fitness, and now, I need to tell you all about my experience with The Dance, another dance-cardio class, emphasis on dance, no emphasis on eating.

My roommate from law school has been capital-O-OBSESSED with this class, and has been raving about it, swearing it’s the most fun and best workout she has had in a long time. I had to try it out, even though at $35/class, I knew it was probably a one-time-thing. It’s held in Studio B, on the third floor of Bandier on 5th Avenue. I was 30 minutes early to class, and having enough self-knowledge to know that I cannot resist buying when I’m around workout clothes, I walked straight up to the studio without passing go, or collecting $200 in debt by shopping in the store on the ground level.

Amanda Kloots, a former Radio City Rockette-turned Broadway performer, created The Dance, as well as The Rope, an all-jump-rope workout, which I was definitely not ready for yet. Amanda was a ray of sunshine from the moment she walked in the room. She is about 6’1”, all legs and abs and blonde fitness-model physique. And that Rockette smile training did not fail her. How intimidating. She was a ball of energy, and her smile was intoxicating #nohomo. I had scoped out her Instagram (@amandakloots) before the class to see what I was up against and what I should wear. Most of the people were wearing crop tops, which was definitely not going to happen after my #30Years30IceCreams binge last month, so I decided for the exact opposite: a not-so-subtle tank top I received as a gift, that said “I Run For Ice Cream.” Fact, but embarrassing.

When I walked into class, I realized my epic wardrobe fail. Not only did I look like I had eaten ONE HUNDRED ice creams on my way over compared to everyone else, I was advertising it on my shirt! I was pretty sure I was the only one who had eaten all day in that room. Oh well. I guess I should have expected it from my Instagram pre-research. My friend insisted that I not go to the back row, so I sucked it up (literally, I was sucking in my stomach as much as I could), and readied myself for some dance.

I will admit, I am generally pretty coordinated. Both of my parents dance (they met in an international folk dance troupe!), I took classes in ballet, jazz, tap and Irish dance from the age of 2, til I was 12, AND my favorite fitness class to teach is step aerobics. However, I would never consider myself a “dancer.” This class was COMPLICATED! She taught the combos quickly and assumed you would catch on. I later learned that she does a lot of the same routines over again, which made me feel better because I was wondering how everyone was so much better than me! I guess I will have to go back (and spend another $35) to hone my The Dance skillz. This must be how they earn their money! There was only one prescribed water break during the whole class, which meant the cardio kept coming at me!

In summary: this class was a BLAST. I got a great sweat on, I learned fun dances, I shook my butt to Bootylicious, and every time I caught my reflection in the mirror, I had a huge smile on my face. My self-consciousness was all in my head, and Amanda definitely made me feel welcome, despite the fact that I was the size of a Tonka Truck compared to her Hot Wheels car-sized body. She even came over after class and asked if I was new, introduced herself, and told me I was “cute” because I was smiling the whole time. I didn’t admit that half of the time it was because I was laughing at myself as I was 3 beats behind. I would recommend this class to anyone with impeccable coordination, stamina, and rock-hard abs. Or substitute the rock-hard abs with unwavering self-confidence, and you will be good to go. As Amanda would say, #JumpSkipSmile!

 

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Fitbit Fixation

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I am addicted to my fitbit. And I do not care what anybody says, it absolutely helps me stay fit and someday (maybe after I stop eating 2 ice creams/day) it WILL help me lose weight. Here’s how I know: when I’m not wearing it, I am willfully lazier. This can be easily explained by a quick comparison: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Similarly, if I walk to work and I’m not wearing my fitbit, does it even count?? Answer: NO. SO WHY BOTHER. The wheels on the MTA bus go round and round, and I have a fancy piece of very expensive paper called an unlimited Metrocard.

In November 2015, my life changed. It makes my blood curdle to think about the hundreds of thousands of steps I took before then, ALL WASTED. In 2015, my favorite emoji-faced boyfriend got me a fitbit Charge HR because I was incredibly jealous of his. I was so excited to compete with him in steps and in sleep! Spoiler Alert: I beat him every single day in both, as he was working 80+ hours/week, which didn’t leave much time for movement or sleep. (Fun Fact: I still beat him every day, and he no longer works those hours.) Anyway, that is how my addiction began. It has slowly progressed to take control of my entire life.

Since then, I have switched to the newer, more advanced, Charge 2 Fitbit. The Charge 2 tracks multiple forms of exercise, has a GPS for my runs, receives my text messages and alerts me of calendar events, and it reminds me to move 250 steps every hour between 8 am and 7 pm. My fitbit buzzes on my wrist like a dog collar at 10 minutes to the hour to remind me to move if I have not walked enough. It is a part of me and I am a part of it. I wear it 23 hours and 50 minutes/day, with 10 minutes off for a shower. That means I also wear it to bed. (I have often wondered if it tracks THAT type of activity too… 😉 ). It tracks my sleep not just in awake/asleep increments, but in full light/deep/REM cycle stages. Spoiler alert #2: I never get more than 7 hours of sleep from M-F, I’m lucky if I get 6. Fitbit is sure to always remind me of that, although the circles under my eyes are a clear enough indicator.

Let me tell you a quick horror story from 2 weeks ago. I had taken my fitbit off at work (GASP) because I needed to charge it and I knew I had a big project to work on. I figured I would charge it for 50 minutes, until it yelled at me to “Get Steppin!” at 10 minutes til the top of the hour. Then, the unthinkable happened: 5 o’clock came and went, and I left the office without my fitbit. Now, on any day, this would be enough for me to panic and go back to the office. But on this particular day, I was on my way to teach a Spin class. So many lost steps! I usually get 8,000 steps between walking to the train, walking to the gym, teaching, walking to the train, and walking home. And this doesn’t even count the workout that I specifically track. How would I know what my max heart rate was, and how long my intervals were, and how many calories I burned, and what my average heart rate was over the 1 hour???

But I was already late, and I didn’t have time to go back. Devastation. And it gets worse: I was teaching the next morning at 7 am before work, which meant before I got a chance to get my fitbit!! 11,000 MORE steps wasted!! (Different gym, further from the subway station). Now I know what you’re thinking: “WHAT A TRAVESTY!” Oh, you weren’t thinking that? Were you thinking “this girl is crazy; how does she know how many steps it takes her to get from home to every different gym in the 5 boroughs of New York City?” Obsessive fitbit-checking, that’s how.

I know how many steps it is from my street corner to the front door of my apartment (420, if I take the elevator). I know how many steps it is from my work computer to my favorite bathroom (one-way, and round-trip). I know how many steps it is from my bed to my refrigerator (12, I have long legs). I know how many times I have to walk around the living room to get to 250 steps (14, New York apartments are small).

I thought that I was alone in my obsession, but I am becoming more and more aware that I am one of MANY. How do I know? At 9:50, 10:50, 11:50 etc, the hallways get a lot more crowded at work. And at first glance, it looks like everyone is running late checking their watches, but no, they are checking their fitbits. My own sister admitted to me last week that she purposefully waits until after the 5 o’clock hour, so she can get her 250 steps in before she gets in the car to commute home, in case traffic lengthens her commute (god forbid) and it forces her to miss her mandatory steps for the hour. My whole family, in fact, competes in steps every week. Monday evening we receive our “Weekly Progress Report from Fitbit” via email, which inevitably starts a sh*t-talking family group text. My mom is having a hip replacement next month, and she has already warned me that I better watch out because once she gets her new hip, I will never win the week again. GAME ON MOMMY. I have realized that fitbit has made me frighteningly competitive. And I generally play to win, even with a desk job, since it takes me 2,000 steps to get to work, and that’s if I take the subway! As my fitbit would say, “CRUSHED IT!”

Anyone else want to be my Fitbit friend/frenemy/ultimate-stepping-nemesis? Add me! I promise to double you in steps.

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305 Fitness/305 FitnASS

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In the past week I have been to two dance-cardio classes, 305 Fitness and The Dance with Amanda Kloots, and I have never had more fun. In fact, after The Dance, the instructor came up to me and told me I was “cute” and she liked all of my smiles. I couldn’t help it, I had a blast! And when I was 2 beats behind, I was still having fun laughing at myself. I even went to one of the classes FOR FREE (SEE BELOW!) So what’s the difference and which one is for you? Check out my review below of 305 Fitness, and my review of The Dance coming later this week.

305 FitnASS

Metaphor: Zumba on crack. This place is all about fun, funk, sass, feminine positivity and CARDIO. Like woah. I left that class completely drenched and feeling all of the positive vibes. 305 Fitness, named for Miami’s area code (even though it was started in NYC) is all about Miami-inspired high-intensity rhythmic cardio with a LIVE DJ, sprint intervals, sculpting, and a stretch cooldown.

I’m not going to lie, I am a bit jaded about 305, because I have a rough history with them: Two years ago, after taking 3 classes and falling in love, I interviewed to be their studio manager. At the time, I had 9 years of experience in the fitness industry, management knowledge, I’m a girl, I’m sassy, AND I’m from South Florida (5-6-1, not 3-0-5, but close enough). I was sure I was a shoo-in. Sure enough, I had three interviews, culminating in a 2.5 hour meeting with a panel of three, including the founder, Sadie Kurzban, where they insisted it be in the middle of the day so I had to take a day off of work. Ultimately, they gave the job to someone else. That alone would not have put a bad taste in my mouth, but what happened after, did.

The Director of Operations called me, left a voicemail asking for me to call back so he could speak to me in person to “talk to me about the position at 305.” I thought I got the job! But no, instead, he told me that in exchange for my time interviewing, he would gift me 2 free classes, and he offered for me to join their “work-study team,” to work FOR FREE at their front desk in exchange for free classes. BOY, PLEASE!!! I actually waited a minute to see if he was kidding. Not only am I a licensed ATTORNEY IN TWO STATES, I already have a full-time job where they pay me, I also have a part-time job, working for a gym, where they PAY ME to teach classes AND I get all the free classes I want! This is New York City, the land of the hustle, not the land of indentured servitude. I am 10 years and 3 careers past accepting an unpaid internship. Needless to say, it left a bad taste in my mouth and I did not even take advantage of those free classes. In retrospect, if they weren’t paying their front-desk people ANYTHING, they probably couldn’t have paid me enough anyway.

Fast-forward 2 years, and I was ready to pop back into their new studio (they added one in midtown), where I would hopefully not be recognized. I figured I had talked enough sh*t throughout 2 years (maybe not enough, since I’m talking more sh*t here), and plus, I was in the mood to DANCE! Classes are $32 a piece, but you can get a 2 for 1 deal if you are new, OR you can get a completely free class, compliments of a lululemon collaboration, before August with the code: 305xlululemon17. I cannot turn down a free class, so I sucked up my pride, and became a “junkie” last Friday night.  They call their clients junkies because they “can’t get enough.”

Walking into the studio, I already knew I would have fun. The vibe was fun and flirty, hot pink and bright orange, and even their trash cans sported their tagline “Make Sweat Sexy.” The chandeliers were made of SmartWater Bottles, and they had shirts for purchase that said “Beyoncé Tubman Ruth and Steinem.” They also had a graphic tee that said “MY BITCH FACE NEVER RESTS.” Love that.

The class itself was an epic sweat-fest, as I said before. The first 30 minutes were straight jumping and dripping, with arms flailing, DJ spinning, and heart pumping. My instructor was Destiny, and she sort of seemed pissed off when we weren’t getting all of the moves, but maybe that’s just her RBF. She was an amazing dancer, and I was not taking myself too seriously, so I disregarded the look on her face. Also, she was sick so her voice was almost gone and it was difficult to hear her. Most of the moves were easy to follow with non-verbal cues and clapping, like in Zumba, and I definitely got a good workout, even if I missed a move or two.

After 30 minutes, we switched to 6 minutes of butt-toning with ankle weights (we chose the 305 FitnASS class), and then back to 20 more minutes of partner cardio, disco lines, and twerking across the floor, including a segment on our hands and knees. I think my face got a workout as well as my body, from laughing at myself so much. At one point, Destiny came over to me and we partner twerked, butt-on-butt, for a full 20 seconds. First, I was focusing on how my sweaty butt was probably getting her legs wet since she was in tiny, tiny booty shorts, but after I got over that, it was pretty fun.

Overall, it’s a great cardio-dance class, with a strong emphasis on cardio, and I highly recommend this class for anyone, dancer or not. Maybe not recommended if you have bad knees, since we were basically jumping for 45 minutes straight! I had a lot of fun, I got a great workout, and I was sore for two days. Should you work for them for free? Definitely not. Is one class worth $32? Probably not, but there isn’t much I would spend that money on. Is it worth a subway ride and a free class code? Absolutely yes.

Extra tip: I recommend bringing a friend so you can laugh with and make fun of each other, and so you have a built-in photographer to take twerking gifs of you in the black light. #MAKESWEATSEXY!

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Fitness

Half Marathon Training

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I’m training for a half marathon. I’m actually going to run 13.1 miles. In 6 days. How, you ask? GOOD QUESTION.

I never considered myself a runner. More often, I’m a professional running spectator (see above, also, more on my FAMOUS signs later). In fact, I have said “I’m not a runner” more times than I can count. True tidbit: as soon as I decided to run this race, I spent more time on amazon.com looking for a tank top that said “I Hate Running” than I spent actually ever training for this race.

However, that is not to say I have never run before. I have been teaching fitness classes for 11 years and I go to a weekly free run club with lululemon. (More on my love for luxtreme another time). More than 13 miles, though? That’s for crazy people. And now, I guess, for me. A few weeks ago, I went on a 12.5 mile run (I know… psychotic). At mile 9, an ambulance from Central Park Medical Unit drove right by me, and I swear they slowed down just a bit when they saw me trudging along. Just in case. Unfortunately, I sprained my ankle last weekend, which will no doubt slow me down even more. Luckily, I have my trusty CPMU friends from that last run. Good news is, now they already know me 😉

You know how some people have crazy superstitious rituals before sports games to make sure they win? Well I have those crazy rituals before my training runs. You know, to make sure I survive. And no, I don’t just mean that I double check that my headphones work.

Here is a list of things I do before my runs in order of least crazy to most crazy:

  • Double tie my shoes.
  • Fill a water bottle. Plastic. Must not be the first time using it. I know, I know, bad idea, blahblah, but it’s a compulsion!!
  • Eat 2 eggs. Scrambled. Salt, pepper, nothing else.
  • Sit on my @$$ for at least 2 hours. If I accidentally go for a walk, I must start my sitting ritual again. (I can’t go for a run on not-fresh legs, DUH!)
  • Make sure my house key is on my left shoe, in between the first knot and the bow. ALWAYS.
  • Braid my hair. No I do not mean REGULAR, run-of-the-mill braid. It must be fun-looking. Also, it must ALWAYS be different. I have taken to watching youtube tutorials about braiding specifically for this purpose. Dutch Braid Headband? PIECE OF CAKE. Waterfall braid? CHECK. Ladder braid? Still a work in progress. I am not kidding about this, though. I have even taken to hashtagging my snapchats #GoodBraidGoodRun, as a super fun, lighthearted way of saying “I have an OCD problem related to my running rituals.”

Why am I sharing these tidbits with you? Do I recommend them for people trying to train for a half marathon? No. Definitely not. Do as I say, not as I do. Or something like that.

I guess this is just as an FYI so you feel a little less crazy when you do crazy things. Plus, there are people even crazier than me out there. Like people who run actual full marathons. WHY?

And yet, every first Sunday of November, every year, I am out on the NYC Marathon course cheering on the runners. I was even featured once in Buzzfeed for my amazing signage (#30). So please, cheer me on! CENTRAL PARK, THIS WEEKEND, SUNDAY April 30th. It’ll give me someone to show off my fancy braid skills to, besides my Instagram. (Have you added me yet?) WISH ME LUCK IN THE COMMENTS, and I’ll see you on the course!!

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