Over the weekend, I went to the Holi party. According to the almighty Wikipedia, Holi also known as the “festival of colors”, is an Indian and Nepali spring festival celebrated all across the Indian subcontinent as well as in countries with large Indian subcontinent diaspora populations. In case you decided to fact-check me and google the holiday yourself, you’d probably find out very quickly that it was actually a month ago, on March 20. However, New Yorkers love any excuse to party, and you can find Holi celebration all the way through May, including a supposedly epic festival on Governor’s Island on May 12. Unfortunately, I have a serious case of first world problems, and I will be in Spain for that one, so I had to celebrate early/late.

In case you got all the way through that first paragraph without actually googling this holiday, you’re probably still lost. Basically, Holi is a playful cultural event and an excuse to throw colored water at friends or strangers in jest. There is religious and cultural significance, as well as many other rituals and traditions, but in New York City, this mostly translates into partying, drinking, dancing and getting very very messy. I like all of those things.

This was my 4^th NYC Holi celebration. I am not Indian or Nepali, but I consider myself a bit of an expert at this point. Here’s what I’ve learned, in a quick list of Dos and Don’ts:

• DO Wear White. The whole point here is to throw color and be colorful. It shows up best when you’re wearing white. Makes sense.
• Do Get a Fanny Pack. I’m not kidding. I got an awesome metallic one on Amazon for 12 dollars. Worth every penny. I’ve already used it twice. Fanny packs are trending again. You heard it here first (and everywhere else). You’ll need somewhere to stash your stuff, and you won’t want to ruin a good purse.

• DO Take Photos Before You Arrive. It’s the last time your clothes will be white. (See next bullet below.) It’s fun to compare.
• DON’T Wear Clothes You Plan to Wear Ever Again. I really mean this. Buy cheap white stuff, and plan to throw it away. Even with bleach, your clothes will most likely have a pinky bluey tinge to them. Another option, keep them for the next year’s Holi party! Designated white(-ish) outfit. Personally, I have a pair of capris I have kept for a few years. They are never going to be white-white again. I also purchased a 3XL tank top at Old Navy this year for $2.97 and ripped it and tied it in the back. Then I got a bralette on sale in black. It still looks black so I think I can wear it again. So fiscally savvy.
• DO Pregame. I have talked about the almighty powers of the pregame before. It is 100% necessary for Holi for two reasons: 1. It’s way more fun to be messy and not care about being touched and dirtied by strangers when you are slightly inebriated. 2. Drinks are expensive there and I’m poor. A well drink goes for about $11. This year, I hosted my two friends at my place for a pre-party and brunch. I cooked French toast (for the very first time… and it was actually delicious!) and we had cucumber vodka & sodas. By the time we left, I was feeling fab!
  • Additional tip I snuck in there, eat something first! Bread is key to staying strong and fighting through crowds for the color bins.
• DO Sneak in Booze. Other ways to not pay exorbitant money for booze: BYOB. After our French toast brunch & pregame, we headed to the liquor store to stock up. I hid a few mini bottles in the back pocket of my fanny pack. Warning: make sure to hide these anywhere that is NOT the main pocket. They do check bags and unfortunately a friend of mine got her bottles taken! Other option, drink them in the Uber on the way there and don’t let the driver see.
• DO Put Your Cell Phone in A Ziploc Bag. You’ll want photos. But you’ll probably also want to use your phone again. Speaking of…
• DO Take a Million Pics. With everyone you can find.

• DON’T Think It’s a Good Idea to Make a Snow Angel in Colored Dye.

Or do. It all depends on how long you want your body to be all the colors of the rainbow. I am currently 3 days post-Holi, innumerable minutes in the shower, and my underarms are still blue. You can see this in the photo.

• DON’T Be Afraid to PUSH PEOPLE TO GET TO THE COLOR BINS. This is like pushing small children aside to get the best view of the Macy’s Parade. It may not be a pleasant experience, but it’s always worth it. The way the color works is, they have people working for the event, and the periodically come out of a side door carrying bins of powdered color. The first thing you MUST do when you arrive is FIND that hidden side door. This must be done even before finding the bar. The bar is unnecessary anyway, since you’ll be packin’ your own booze. Once you find the secret door, set up shop to dance around and wait. Your prep work will pay off. You’ll be the most colorful ones there. It will be PACKED. Do not be discouraged.

• DO Wear the Sunglasses They Provide. There will be so much color dust. In your ears for days. In your nose for days. On your clothes. In all crevices you didn’t even realize were uncovered. Don’t let it get in your eyes. My friend who went with me had to throw away her contact lenses! Luckily I wear dailies. Shade your eyes.

• DO Try to Give Your Friends Piggyback Rides, the Do Prepare to Fail. There is a lot of booze involved and the powder is slippery.

• DO Dance All Day to Bollywood Music. I got over 10,000 steps from dancing! It’s better than the gym.
• DO Sign Up Again Next Year. Sometimes they have discount codes for return customers! I can’t wait for next year. Now I have a handy checklist to prepare, and you do, too!