I asked you guys for social distance date ideas 2.5 months ago and we finally went on one! Needless to say, my Bullet Journal Goal of one out-of-house date night/month has not been being achieved. Another Covid casualty. We went to Top Golf and had a blast! Hopefully the fun we had will last me another 2.5 months. It met all of our criteria for a date: relatively close-by, open air, masks mandatory, fun, out of the house.
By the way, when I asked for your advice for date ideas, NONE OF YOU COMMENTED. What’s up with that??? Thankfully, I asked my Instagram followers on my private Instagram a week later, and I got a few great ideas. We didn’t do any of these (yet), but I wanted to post them here in case you are looking for things to do. Ya know, since you won’t find any in the comments of my last post.
Puzzle night
Top chef cook off, quarantine style, use only what’s in the kitchen
Hiking
Slip and slide in the backyard. Along with the kiddie pool, add White Claws for a water park day
Bake macarons
DIY Paint and Sip (order canvases on Amazon)
Drive-In movie theater
Bonfires & Boggle
Anyway, we haven’t done those things yet, but we are now golf pros!! JK, we are both AWFUL. We failed in glorious fashion but we didn’t care.
Since we are currently residing in a Covid hot spot, we wanted to go on a date at an off time. We decided on a weeknight at 9 pm. We made a lane reservation earlier in the day, and I even put on makeup for the occasion! I think the only things that mattered were eyebrows and eyelashes because masks, but it still felt good to have a reason to put on a bra. A real one. That I don’t pull over my head (what!?)
Top Golf required masks in all inside areas, which meant you needed one to check in (contactless) and to walk through the lobby to your outside lane. Every person working there was wearing a mask at all times, over mouth AND nose. Yes, I need to specify that here in Texas. I was impressed. The inside bar was closed, and the bathroom doors were propped open and facilities were being obsessively cleaned. Even the clubs were being sanitized between each lane turnover.
The actual golf lane did not require masks, and between each lane they had floor to ceiling clear tarps, sort of like shower curtain liners. It felt very safe. On the actual greens there were no tarps between, and most people were not wearing masks once in their lanes, so I just staggered my putts when someone was on the green in the lane next to ours. In bowling, that’s common courtesy so I didn’t mind. By the way, I’m MUCH better at bowling.
We both ordered drinks and had them at the table – masks off only when we were behind our tarp! It was really nice to have a drink I didn’t make myself. Even if it cost 5x more than the ones I make at home. It was the first time I had a drink outside the house since March 13th! We decided not to get food, because we were still iffy about the kitchen etc., but it was fabulous to socialize, even to say “thank you” to a waiter (masked, of course).
We took a few photos of each other as well as videos, where I was usually swinging and not even making contact with the ball. Oops. We tried a few selfies. There’s no handing your phone to strangers nowadays, so it’s a good thing I am VERY well-practiced at selfie-taking. I attempted to teach Chris how to smize. He thought it meant opening your eyes as wide as they go. It made for some pretty funny pics.
Chris attempting a “smize,” me laughing at him.
Both of us “smizing”
A cute pic! (Notice our lane neighbor)
Are you wondering when I’m going to tell you our scores? NEVER! We were so bad that at one point we accidentally golfed for each other, and let me tell you, it did not matter. We will not be competing against Tiger any time soon. It was a fabulous date night for my sanity and mental health, not so much for my confidence. If you have a Top Golf near you, they outline their safety precautions for each location online. Feel free to call ahead to ask questions, as well. I recommend it!
It’s ok to not be ok.I hereby welcome you to my Pity Party.
I saw a tweet the other day that said “physically i am two days away from july, emotionally i am still processing February.” This could not be any more real. Like… what the F*&K happened to 2020?? I looked at the calendar the other day and I was like wow… back in January, WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK?!
And here’s the thing, there are a lot of terrible things going on in the world. There is a police brutality crisis, mass incarceration, unemployment, world hunger, and Russian dictators putting bounties on American soldiers. Not to mention 503K deaths worldwide from Covid, and more every day.
But you know what else is going on? NOTHING. At least in my life. And to be completely honest, I have good days and bad days. Last weekend? A lot of bad days. But I had ice cream, which made it a little bit better.
I’m in mourning for the year I thought I was going to have. I had really high hopes! I had goals to visit three new countries. Remember traveling? Another goal: to go to 100 bootcamp classes. Ya know, at the gym. Remember those? And another goal: To book hair for 2 weddings. Remember weddings? Where people attended IRL and got their hair done?
Speaking of weddings, how about mine?
This is usually around the point where I start to unravel. Not to be overly dramatic, but my entire plan for my life has come undone at this point. And yes, I know it’s only been 4 months of quarantine (so far), but the reality is, we have a LONG road ahead of us. No vaccine on the horizon, no idea when it will be released. When it is, will it be safe? Will it be unfathomably expensive? Will it be widely available? Should it be? We won’t know the long-term side effects; we won’t really know what side effects there are at all. Will you even feel comfortable taking it? And how long until we do feel comfortable? What happens in the meantime?
Back to my life plan – it’s out the window at this point. I feel like Rachel from Friends when she turns 30. (That whole clip is worth watching, by the way.)
In Rachel’s words, “I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids, all I really needed was a plan!” Well we all know what they said about the best laid plans. If you guys don’t watch the clip, the gist is that she wants three kids, starting to have the first one at 35 so she counts backward from there and… spoiler alert, she is already too old for her own plan.
I’m not going to say I live by the Rachel Green’s plan, but the annoying part about this whole pandemic is that a LOT of things have been postponed. Weddings can be pushed off, travel can be rescheduled, engagement parties, brunches, celebrations of all kinds. But you know what Rachel had right? Time marches on and fertility still has an expiration date. Wtf!
Now, this is not a blog about having a baby, and I’m not having one right now anyway, but I’d like to have time before I do. Time to travel without kids. Time to enjoy my engagement. Time to celebrate it. Time to plan a wedding and actually visit venues, to have the opportunity see them with my own eyes. Time to enjoy Girls Nights Out.
When we got engaged, for the three glorious weeks post-engagement and pre-pandemic, people asked if we had a wedding date. (Why? I have no idea. Don’t do that, guys.) Anyway, when I said we didn’t, invariably they said, “That’s great! That’s fine! Enjoy your engagement! It’s the best time.”
Is this “enjoying our engagement?” Is it “the best time?” Living in a house that is not our own, halfway across the country, without the ability to go out on dates, have an engagement party, show off my ring, see my parents? I can’t even get my nails done to show my ring off on Instagram!
So yeah, I’m not ok. Not today, at least. I spent the last three days watching TV and trying to forget real life. It didn’t really work but the ice cream was good. I realize that things could be worse. We are lucky to be employed, safe, healthy, etc. But sometimes I need to throw myself a pity party. Y’all are invited to the next one. It’ll be on Zoom. BYO ice cream.
February 14th, I got engaged to the love of my life. One month later on March 14th, we made the split-second decision to flee our home and asked his sister if we could temporarily stay with them in Texas. And here we are on April 14th, basically moved in with my future in-laws with no end in sight and trying not to kill each other. At least once a day I catch myself looking down at my ring, taking a deep breath, and reminding myself that I signed up for this. But did I? Did any of us?
I think everyone can agree that besides Tiger King, the only thing keeping us sane in 2020 is the abundance of memes on Instagram. My personal favorites are the ones like “Day 27 of Quarantine, I have realized that I can’t stand the sound of my husband breathing.” I spoke to a friend recently who said she never realized how loud her partner chewed and has now resorted to playing loud music whenever they dine together. Which is every single meal, every day.
Don’t get me wrong, things could be worse. SO MUCH WORSE. I have a roof over my head, a job, and plenty of (too much?) food. I also have a loving partner who said last night that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. To which I said, “Really? Still?”
Living together is hard. I remember when Chris and I first made the decision to move in together, about 1.5 years into our relationship. I was SUPER nervous about it. I had lived with people my entire life, from parents to roommates, to more roommates, then MORE roommates, because NYC, ya know? Anyway, I had never shared a room with someone besides for one year in a dorm with a roommate who basically slept at her boyfriend’s apartment. And I certainly had not shared a bathroom with a boy besides my brother, who I could just hit if he left the toilet seat up. But a tiny 1-bedroom apartment with a man who I couldn’t just hit when I got annoyed? That was uncharted territory. And it was not easy.
There were socks everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. I would take the sheets off and find anywhere from 2-7 single socks at the bottom of the bed. Socks in the bathroom, in the living room under the couch. RIGHT next to the hamper. And don’t get me started on the dang toilet seat. It’s an ongoing battle. We are still in training, much like when you adopt a puppy, but it’s “please don’t pee on the seat” instead of “please don’t pee in the corner on the rug” (but also sometimes that).
Thankfully, this quarantine happened after Chris and I had already been living together for 3 years, so we had both come to terms with each other’s eccentricities. We were prepared. Or we thought we were.
Narrator: “They were not prepared.”
Living with each other in your own home is one thing but living in someone else’s home is a completely different thing, especially when it is one of your family’s homes. Don’t get me wrong, I love his family. First of all, they are INCREDIBLY generous allowing us to come from the heart of the pandemic in NYC and move in on 6 hours’ notice, literally. Also, they have never been anything but welcoming to me. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is not my house.
There’s a level of comfort in knowing where the containers are and knowing that each top has a bottom because if it doesn’t, you throw it out.
Or knowing that the pillows are the right height so your neck doesn’t feel off all day.
Or knowing that by 11 am, everyone is awake and you can blast music to do a workout class or run the blender to make a protein shake.
Or knowing when the dishes in the dishwasher are clean. (Side note: I have spent 4 weeks now using my incredibly stealthy detective skills to try and figure out their system. I still have not made any headway.)
If you’re sitting at home reading this and playing the world’s smallest violin for my troubles, I get it. There are people out there struggling to survive. People in abusive relationships or without loving partners. I am lucky to have a loving partner, but he treats this house like it is his parent’s home with mommy dearest to clean up after him. Except she isn’t here, I am. And I am the guest, so I feel the need to clean up, pitch in, cook, fold laundry, etc. He feels the need to do NONE of those things except prance down the stairs when he smells bacon. This literally happened today.
This is certainly not the way I would have predicted our engagement to go. Thankfully, we have both been really busy with work. As you know from my previous blogs, one way we try to stay sane and keep from yelling at each other for breathing is by having a weekly date night. This has disappeared. I keep telling him he needs to plan something for me. ANYTHING. A picnic for lunch. A hike. Breakfast in bed. He told me today he is “just waiting to surprise me.” I told him it’s been 4.5 weeks and I’m sick of waiting. But what other choice do I have? Where am I going? Literally NOWHERE.
The good news is that we were not in any rush to get married, so we haven’t lost money or time on deposits or slashed dreams. The bad news is that there are no future plans in place to keep us together. We are holding it together by a tiny band of platinum and a not-as-tiny diamond. And love. Sometimes. When he picks up his socks.
This may be the most exciting blog I’ve written. I know you guys loved to read about my student loans and fitness classes, but what you were REALLY waiting for was a proposal from the mystery-man-behind-the-emoji. And it happened! I was completely surprised and I had no idea I would be publishing this blog this week. I thought I was going to write about HelloFresh. No offense to HelloFresh but this far exceeds anything that post would have been.
Of course the first question everyone asks about the proposal is, “How did he ask??” Actually, the FIRST question everyone asks is, “When are you getting married??” But when I tell them I have no idea, the next question is “how did he do it?” Since the proposal was a surprise, I decided to write this blog in first person, mostly in the order in which I found out the details, not in chronological order. There was a lot of pre-work and scheming that went into the proposal, ring choosing, etc, but I didn’t know about any of it until after. Let me start on Friday night, Valentine’s Day.
As is the case with pretty much every night we try and go out, I was running late. I had taken a comp day from work because I had been working long hours all week. Even though I woke up at 6 am to go to the gym, I was relaxing and running errands all day. Gym, laundry, grocery store, etc. My emoji-boyfriend (… um… emoji-FIANCE… um… should I call him Chris now?) was also working from home Friday, so as I was folding the laundry as he was in the shower getting ready for our date, which was a surprise.
I had showered earlier and asked him for a brief outline of the date, so I knew what to wear. He said, “dinner and a show, but not crazy fancy dinner, I know you hate that” (true), so I pulled out a semi-casual dress. When he got out of the shower the apartment was completely steamy, and if you’re a girl with any sort of wavy hair, you know that means – absolutely no style will hold in your hair. Of course this caused me to be even later. I quickly straightened my hair and put a 1-minute French half braid in my hair. This may seem like an inconsequential detail. But it just proves how much of a surprise this proposal was. I would NEVER have had my hair straight and/or with a haphazard braid if I had known. HELLOOO I have 4 different curling wands/irons AND A BRAIDING BUSINESS. I would have PREPARED. Alas.
We left the house 15 minutes later than intended and headed to one of our favorite wine bars in our neighborhood called Vanguard. Luck was with us, because there were actually two seats left at the bar next to each other, which I was surprised about on Valentine’s Day. We each had a glass of wine and paid as soon as the bartender poured because we were in a hurry for our dinner reservations. I couldn’t tell you a single thing we talked about, probably a show we are watching on Netflix. After our wine, we put our coats back on and the only clue I had was that we were taking the 2-3 train southbound.
Around 14th street, Chris asked if I knew where we were going. I said, “no clue, somewhere downtown?” When we got off the train at Chambers Street, I still had no idea, but I remember making a comment about being jealous of girls going out in groups for Galentine’s Day. LOL I mean, don’t get me wrong, obviously I LOVE my FIANCE but also I love my girls. If i had known there was a diamond on the horizon I probably would not have made that comment.
We were walking for what seemed like an hour in 18-degree weather (it was about 5 minutes), when Chris asked again if I knew where we were going. Again, I said no, but then I realized that we were in front of Bubby’s in Tribeca, the restaurant where we had our first date. For a SHORT second, I thought maybe he would propose, but then I realized it’s just a restaurant we both like, and that he could probably get a reservation there on Valentine’s Day. Also, the Tribeca location where we met was closed for renovations for a few months, so I figured he just thought I’d be happy it was open again.
Before the date even began he brought me home flowers while I folded laundry!
My insta-story as the night began (long before I knew what was going to happen).
Thank goodness for these biscuits!
Kisses and emoji bfs (fiancés?)
The hostess seated us, and the server announced a prix fixe option including unlimited champagne for 90 minutes. Since we both don’t love champagne and we also wanted to order off the menu, we said no to prix fixe, and ordered our own drinks. I had a Bourbon Sweet Tea. Yes, this is an important detail too, so you understand how much we are about to drink. It was mango infused bourbon, sweet tea, & lemon. Of course we ordered biscuits to start. If you ever go to Bubby’s, GET THE BISCUITS. In hindsight, I was certainly glad I had some carbs in my stomach because by the time the meal came, I was too excited to eat.
Some of our conversation at dinner was about our first date, what we talked about then, etc. Chris later told me he was trying to set up the proposal, but as usual, I was completely oblivious. He also later told me that he took the day off of work because he knew he was going to propose, and I ruined his alone time by taking a comp day – also completely oblivious to that. ANYWAY.
When our main courses arrived, I started cutting up the avocado in my cobb salad when Chris said, “before we have our food, I have a question to ask you.” FULL STOP. That was when I knew. If you know me, you don’t come between me and my food unless it’s for something amazing.
Then Chris started in on his semi-planned proposal (maybe he planned to practice in the mirror all day, but I ruined those plans by hanging out on the couch).
He said that since this was the place where we got our start, he wanted it to be the place where we had our next start. Then he said a lot of amazing things about me and how much I mean to him. I pretty much blacked out when I realized he was going to propose. But I later asked him what he had said, and my memory was almost spot on. Then he asked me to marry him and took a FABULOUS ring out of his coat pocket. AND I SAID YES!! I was so excited I couldn’t even cry. I did say, “Should I be crying? I feel like I should be crying.”
Now before I go on with the story of the night, I want to take a quick break to address this ring. Y’all… this thing is GORGEOUS. I mean. Showstopper. He did SO WELL. This is not the first time my adorable fiance has bought me jewelry, and let’s just say, it’s been hit or miss. We have made exchanges on more than one occasion. But this?? 100% perfect. How did he do it??? Well duh, he had some help from my friends. I couldn’t leave something this important up to chance. I mean, ladies and gents, we had been dating for 4.5 years. Yes, I was COMPLETELY surprised that he proposed on that night, but did I think it was coming?? I sure hoped so! I had sent a photo of the type of ring I wanted to anyone I thought he might ask. My mom had it. My best friend had it. My sister had it. His sister had it. Sure enough, I found out later that he asked my BFF and she did me proud and showed him the photo. And he got it exactly right, if not better because it is SO SPARKLY. I didn’t post a photo on Facebook because that’s tacky but if you want to see it, I’ll gladly show you. Either in person or photographic evidence. Ok, now back to the story.
So remember we already had a glass of wine at the wine bar and a whiskey drink at dinner because we hadn’t picked the prix fixe option? My now-fiance had called the restaurant ahead of time to tip them off, so the server was waiting for the right moment to bring over a bottle of champagne, on the house. I don’t love champagne but I do love free stuff! Needless to say, I could barely eat because I was so excited. So instead I just guzzled champagne while staring at my ring every time I brought the glass to my face. The next day’s hangover was worth it.
We finished the entire bottle of champagne and got ready for the next stop of the night. But first, I went to the bathroom and texted a photo of the ring to my best friend. The text read something like, “This is completely unexpected so my nails look like sh*t and don’t show this photo to anyone but OMFG!!!” Of course she started texting me back with a million questions but we were already en route to our next destination, West Side Comedy Club.
We love going to comedy shows together, and especially when they are right in our neighborhood! This show was a special 9 pm Valentine’s Day show about relationships. There were single comics, queer comics, comedians who were enagaged, comedians who were married and performing together, comedians who were married and performed separately… it was a lot and it was hysterical. I love shows with multiple acts because if one person is terrible or not your style, you only have to put up with them for 10 minutes. But overall, they were hilarious. The tables had chocolate Hershey kisses and hearts on them, and best of all, despite the club having a 2-drink minimum, our server forgot to come back to us so we only had to have one drink each, which was ideal after the chugging of the bottle of champagne at dinner.
Insta-story continues (no one knew I had a ring on my rfinger!)
CHOCOLATE. It’s a celebration!!
When the show was over, we hustled home in the cold and passed out. Too much to drink. I woke up early the next morning because I had to teach a spin class. One of the girls I see often at the gym saw me helping someone adjust their bike and said, “Did you get engaged or have I never noticed that ring?” and I said, “I got engaged,” and she said, “Congratulations! When?” and the whole room went silent just as I said , “Last night.” I went from telling two people, to telling 25. Woops.
After spin class, I took a quick shower and rushed off to get my nails done so I could take a proper photo of my new pet rock, as I have taken to calling it. I used the ring light (no pun intended) that I have to take hair photos to show off the SHINE properly. Once my nails were 100, we went out to brunch and then Chris told me he booked a hotel room for us! We packed overnight bags and headed to the Conrad Downtown.
Brunch post-manicure.
Getting ready to set off on our staycation.
Bags are packed, we’re ready to go!
We had a water view room where we could watch the ferries go to and from New Jersey. I was in the room for approximately 60 seconds before I put on the softest most luxurious robe ever and sat down in bed. Chris promptly took a nap and I read my book. Being engaged is EXHAUSTING! After a little energy boost, we finally started the mandatory phone calls and texts to tell people before the news broke the internet. It’s not like I’m Kim Kardashian, but y’all know people have been waiting for this for literally years. Legit, every time I go on a trip with Chris, my DM’s are filled with messages that just say “💍?”
The second we got there I put on the robe
Large beds are the best thing ever!
View at sunset
View from inside the atrium of the hotel
We called his siblings, and I texted my friends, I called my siblings, and after a few hours of that, we went to dinner at El Vez. I usually don’t drink at dinner, but it was a celebration! I had two margaritas. Ok, I had three.
I told Chris how much anxiety I was having about posting on social media. The pressure is intense! I have been seeing engagements on my feed for at least a decade. I have seen everything from cliche to disgusting. I didn’t want to be either of those things. I definitely was not going to post “I said yes!” I thought about just posting a photo of us from the restaurant. But people have been seeing photos of us at restaurants for YEARS. I didn’t think people would believe me without seeing the ring! But I don’t believe in just posting a photo of the ring. So garish. So materialistic. Also, it’s not about the ring (but goddamn that thing is so pretty). I said to Chris, “Quick, get me with this taco so I can show people the ring.” Chris is great at taking photos of my hair. But of me eating? Not so much. There were ten outtakes. We finally got a good, “Does this taco make me look engaged” photo, which is very on-brand, and cliche but not too cliche, and I decided to post the taco and the happy couple pic. But I still wasn’t ready.
When I was asking him who else I needed to tell, it came out that he went all the way to Philadelphia to ask my parents for their blessing! I had no idea. He had told me he was out to dinner with a friend in New York, which I blindly trusted. I guess that’s a good thing? Anyway, my parents already knew when he was set to propose. My mom took a photo when they were together in Phily and wanted to post it on Facebook, which my dad and Chris promptly told her would ruin the entire purpose of the surprise. And since my mom can’t keep a secret and knew she couldn’t post about it, she told my sister. Then she felt bad so she told my brother, as well. And my sister didn’t want to hold it in, so she told my best friend. BASICALLY, everyone knew except me. This made breaking the news much easier.
We went back to the hotel Saturday night, slept a longggg time, and when Sunday rolled around, I was finally ready. Around 3 pm, I said to Chris, “Are you ready to break the internet??? Let it rip!” And I posted on two Instagram accounts and on Facebook. As of this writing, we are at 392 likes on Facebook. I still need a good photo for my Braidstagram with ring on display, I’m waiting for the perfect moment.
It’s been a little longer than a week since he proposed, and I’ve slowly been asking him details about how he planned it. Turns out, it’s been a long time coming. He bought ring-sizing instruments from online and sized one of my rings when I was at work. I fully sabotaged this plan by telling my best friend the wrong size, which he trusted. The ring is currently back at Blue Nile, being resized… I miss it so much.
I promised you guys a grand reveal of his face once we were engaged, so here it is: the very happy couple a few minutes after his proposal. Was his cute face worth the wait? I SAY YES!
Ring so shiny it GLOWS
We always need to experiment with different lighting, but we look good in all of them. Duh.
