Do you love Christmas decorations as much as me? Enough to wait out in the 25 degree cold for over an hour? Enough to “waste” a half day of work by standing in the cold, and then standing in a bar like packed sardines, drinking barely above-par drinks that will not get you drunk and cost $17 each? You do? Cool. You should go to Rolf’s.
I went last week, and I did not regret it at all. Yes, we waited. 75 minutes, in fact. Yes, I was sick as a dog and trying not to cough on everyone in line around me. (I may have scared a few people away, it could have been an 85-minute wait if it were not for my handy-dandy hacking cough!).
Rolf’s is a German restaurant near Gramercy. It’s known for its schnitzel. But more, it’s known for its Christmas decorations. And don’t fret if you’re leaving NYC in a few days for the holidays, or if you’re not coming to NYC until New Year’s Eve (not recommended, FYI), according to the Rolf’s website, their Christmas decorations will be up until May. And they are epic. They have been written up in Thrillist, Time Out NY, NY Mag… the list goes on. I dare you to google “Rolf’s NYC” and just look at the images. Or read on, I took approximately 900 photos.
I had heard about Rolf’s for years, but like most too-cool-for-school New Yorkers, I figured it was mostly hype. But here’s the issue, I’m not a too-cool-for-school New Yorker when it comes to Christmas. I go see the Rockefeller Center tree every year. And the Saks 5th Ave. light show. And I’ve seen the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular numerous times. I am obsessed with Christmas. So obsessed that even New York tourist crowds will not deter me. Yes, my Jewish mother is proud.
I threw caution to the wind, met my friend who had taken the day off of work, and plopped myself at the back of the queue. It extended half an avenue. For you non-New Yorkers out there… that’s long. We kept warm by marching in place and complaining about the cold. As most locals do, the best way to deal with any weather whatsoever is to complain about it. I am a pro.
After 75 minutes we finally were allowed entry. Unfortunately, we found out that you were not allowed to sit at a table unless you were ordering full entrees. And those menus were crazy price-gauged. The entrées ranged from $40-$70 for German street food. We tried to ask for a table for appetizers and drinks, but they said no. Bar only. It worked out for the best because the bar is where most of the decorations are. Well, sort of. This place looked like Father Christmas threw up all over it. Then ate it back up, then regurgitated it again. Gross analogy, but for real. The ceiling was DRIPPING with lights, ornaments, and my favorite, super creepy dolls peeking out of everywhere. On the mirror about the bar, there was even more, plus a beautiful wreath.
Have you heard the saying #DoItForTheGram? Well, this place was invented for that. Everyone and their mother (literally… there were a few families in there), were trying to take photos. Unfortunately, the place was so incredibly packed that most photos were from way too close up! Every time a person left, their spot was filled by someone trying to take a photo from 2 feet away, within 30 seconds. It was basically human Jenga.
The place is supposedly famous for its many kinds of Schnapps, but I did not look any further than their seasonal cocktail menu. After waiting in the cold for over an hour, you’d think I would have tried the mulled wine or hot cider. But no, I decided for an icy holiday treat – some sort of Baileys + Cinnamon concoction, complete with a cinnamon stick for garnish. It was not strong at all, but boy was it yummy. Worth $17? Hell no. But the photos were!! I highly recommend going, solely for the pics. Then go literally across the street to the diner, like we did, for a meal at a quarter of the price. And watch all of the cold people in line for Rolf’s as you eat your warm food.
