The Chore Chart

I used to believe: “If you want something done well, you need to do it yourself.”

Slowly but surely, I have migrated to the camp of: “Why would I do something if I could pay someone else to do it for me?”

It’s been an evolution, but the busier I got after college, the less inclined I was to spend my “precious time” doing tasks I didn’t want to do. And truthfully, my fiancé has had a huge influence on my thinking. It’s not necessarily that he can’t do things, it’s just that he doesn’t want to. And when you are working 80+ hour work weeks, I completely understand not wanting to spend your valuable free time putting together a bookshelf or cleaning the floor. It’s all about delegating! There’s an app for that: TaskRabbit.

You might say I had my “come to Jesus” moment when we first moved apartments together. My fiancé said hands down we were getting people to pack for us. Meanwhile, I BAWKED at the $1000 price tag. But then I realized it was $500 each, and the amount of time I would spend sourcing boxes, packing etc., (and badly – I’m not a professional!) definitely made it worth hiring out. And let me tell you… I’ll NEVER go back. We lived a completely normal life until the morning of the move. There was no “we can’t have eggs, our pans are already packed,” or “what the heck box did I put my underwear in!” It was THE BEST.

But back to cleaning. We both hate cleaning. Does anyone like it? I am not a messy person, in fact, I’m pretty tidy. But tidy is not the same thing as clean. And my sweet fiancé?? I don’t think he’s ever cleaned a toilet in his life. Pretty much the first month we moved in together he sent me a piece from the New York Times about it. The Times publishes almost the exact same article every year. The gist? You’ll be in a happier relationship if someone else does the cleaning.

In the 2017 piece, an assistant professor at the Harvard Business School created a study that found, “People who spent money to buy themselves time, such as by outsourcing disliked tasks, reported greater overall life satisfaction.”

But now it’s a global pandemic and my same fiancé who couldn’t live without his cleaner is now scared to have someone come into our safe haven home. The main problem? Our house still gets dirty. In fact, it’s way worse because we are in it 24/7! The only food we eat, we make in our own kitchen. The only bathroom we use is our own. We aren’t taking vacations and sleeping elsewhere. It’s a mess. Literally.

I knew I needed to nip this in the bud as soon as we came back to NYC, so I started priming Chris for this idea of splitting chores. While in Texas I mentioned how I didn’t want to be in charge of all cleaning. Then I talked about how he wanted to split tasks. I have learned from working with children that the more buy-in and choice they think they have, the better the result. So I asked him:

  • Are there certain things you prefer to do?
  • Do you want to do the same chores every week?
  • Should we switch off?
  • What are the things we should make sure we are cleaning daily/weekly/monthly?

Then I took out my scrapbooking box from under the bed (this is NYC, a lot of stuff goes under there) and got to work. I even crowdsourced on Facebook to see if people had ideas or templates. Most templates I saw online only were for children’s chores. I only two examples of couples splitting chores, which I found semi-troubling (Thrifty Mom and Our Little Apartment).

I spent a long time figuring out the color scheme I wanted. Too long, if I’m being honest. Then I used a paper cutter to measure out the exact dimensions so it was even. I used a tiny puncher to round all of the corners. I layered paper within my chosen color scheme. I found sparkly stickers to spell out our names. Then I had to divide the tasks evenly.

Chris said he had no preference of tasks and that he’d like to switch off. I made my chart and I made our names on separate pieces of paper so I could switch them week to week. I looked on Amazon for cute, pretty, and strong magnets. I needed something that would stick through lamination, and I wanted them pretty since they were going to live on our fridge (which is visible from pretty much our entire apartment because New York).

I made a check list with mini circles that would hopefully match up with my magnets, and two columns for tasks to do, and tasks that were done. In theory, this was so that we could do the chores slowly throughout the week/month and know that at least they were getting done at some point. In reality, we have been leaving them until Sunday and then doing them all. I told you we hate chores! Procrastination is the name of the game.

Here’s how it’s going: the chores are getting done but we hate it. I feel less anxious because I’m not living in filth but I do dread Sundays. And 2.5 weeks in, Chris asked me to text our old cleaning lady and ask her to come back. She hasn’t written me back yet, but I’ll keep you posted. At least it looks cute!

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Top Golf Social Distance Date

I asked you guys for social distance date ideas 2.5 months ago and we finally went on one! Needless to say, my Bullet Journal Goal of one out-of-house date night/month has not been being achieved. Another Covid casualty. We went to Top Golf and had a blast! Hopefully the fun we had will last me another 2.5 months. It met all of our criteria for a date: relatively close-by, open air, masks mandatory, fun, out of the house.

By the way, when I asked for your advice for date ideas, NONE OF YOU COMMENTED. What’s up with that??? Thankfully, I asked my Instagram followers on my private Instagram a week later, and I got a few great ideas. We didn’t do any of these (yet), but I wanted to post them here in case you are looking for things to do. Ya know, since you won’t find any in the comments of my last post.

  • Puzzle night
  • Top chef cook off, quarantine style, use only what’s in the kitchen
  • Hiking
  • Slip and slide in the backyard. Along with the kiddie pool, add White Claws for a water park day
  • Bake macarons
  • DIY Paint and Sip (order canvases on Amazon)
  • Drive-In movie theater
  • Bonfires & Boggle

Anyway, we haven’t done those things yet, but we are now golf pros!! JK, we are both AWFUL. We failed in glorious fashion but we didn’t care.

Since we are currently residing in a Covid hot spot, we wanted to go on a date at an off time. We decided on a weeknight at 9 pm. We made a lane reservation earlier in the day, and I even put on makeup for the occasion! I think the only things that mattered were eyebrows and eyelashes because masks, but it still felt good to have a reason to put on a bra. A real one. That I don’t pull over my head (what!?)

Top Golf required masks in all inside areas, which meant you needed one to check in (contactless) and to walk through the lobby to your outside lane. Every person working there was wearing a mask at all times, over mouth AND nose. Yes, I need to specify that here in Texas. I was impressed. The inside bar was closed, and the bathroom doors were propped open and facilities were being obsessively cleaned. Even the clubs were being sanitized between each lane turnover.

The actual golf lane did not require masks, and between each lane they had floor to ceiling clear tarps, sort of like shower curtain liners. It felt very safe. On the actual greens there were no tarps between, and most people were not wearing masks once in their lanes, so I just staggered my putts when someone was on the green in the lane next to ours. In bowling, that’s common courtesy so I didn’t mind. By the way, I’m MUCH better at bowling.

We both ordered drinks and had them at the table – masks off only when we were behind our tarp! It was really nice to have a drink I didn’t make myself. Even if it cost 5x more than the ones I make at home. It was the first time I had a drink outside the house since March 13th! We decided not to get food, because we were still iffy about the kitchen etc., but it was fabulous to socialize, even to say “thank you” to a waiter (masked, of course).

We took a few photos of each other as well as videos, where I was usually swinging and not even making contact with the ball. Oops. We tried a few selfies. There’s no handing your phone to strangers nowadays, so it’s a good thing I am VERY well-practiced at selfie-taking. I attempted to teach Chris how to smize. He thought it meant opening your eyes as wide as they go. It made for some pretty funny pics.

Are you wondering when I’m going to tell you our scores? NEVER! We were so bad that at one point we accidentally golfed for each other, and let me tell you, it did not matter. We will not be competing against Tiger any time soon. It was a fabulous date night for my sanity and mental health, not so much for my confidence. If you have a Top Golf near you, they outline their safety precautions for each location online. Feel free to call ahead to ask questions, as well. I recommend it!

Check out that ring!
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