Covid Anniversary

It’s March! Happy Anniversary… to Covid! Of course, I am being facetious. It has been a horrific year and guess what? It’s not getting better. If you were expecting a fun and light blog, then you should close this and go to someone else’s blog because this post is going to be truthful and the truth is… THIS SUCKS Y’ALL.

Monday was the first day of March and I had myself a cute little breakdown. Anyone else? If you ask me, things are worse now than they were.

First of all, the burnout is REAL. Every additional day I live like this is exponentially worse. It’s like compound interest but way less fun because I am not getting rich.

Second of all, seeing people on social media still just going about their business like things are fine is THE ABSOLUTE WORST.

Third of all, the virus is, quite literally, worse! 6 months ago, the numbers were low, the virus “couldn’t pass through a mask” so we went about our business at the grocery store or on a walk, with a single mask. Just one! There were stories about full hair salons being spared from transmission by a measly fabric mask.

Now, with new strains of the virus every few weeks, to leave the house I suit up like a space man. I put on a huge coat (thanks SNOWPOCOLYSE 2021) and an N95, and a cotton mask on top of that. And boots. Because endless winter is also a thing, I guess. I feel like I should be wearing goggles, too, but I just can’t.

“BUT DON’T YOU HAVE HOPE?? Things have gotten better! Things are opening up! There’s a vaccine! Multiple!” – People with Hope

Let me tell you about the two groups of people who have hope:

  1. The vaccinated people. Yep, you. I’m not shaming you for having the vaccine. It is awesome. Am I jealous? Of course! But also, sir/ma’am, that is why you have hope. Because for YOU, it is better. You are “safe.” I am not. I also have very little hope of getting the vaccine soon. Sure, Biden says we will have enough supply by the end of May. But by the time they actually figure out supply chain issues and coordinated vaccinations, it will be months after that. Then wait another month for the second shot (or maybe we all get J&J), and then wait another two weeks until it actually becomes effective. We are looking at July at best. And I highly, highly doubt that. Not to mention how long it will be until things like Broadway shows open again.
  2. The people who have let their guard down. I see you. Going to running clubs “outside because it’s safe” in groups of 8+ people with NO MASKS. I see you going to Mexico and Antigua, because you “got tested first.” I see you traveling to see family members because you haven’t seen them in a long time. None of us have! I see you celebrating a coworker’s birthday with a “small group” of 7 people at a Hibachi table. I see you, and I’m judging you. But also, I have come to terms with the fact that not everyone is taking the virus as seriously as I have. It’s been that way from the jump. The thing I hate about this particular group, however, is the fact that they have hope. They say, “things are getting better!” and couple it with this behavior. Things are NOT in fact getting better, you are just getting more lackadaisical about protocol. I’m glad you aren’t burned out anymore, but it’s only because you’re not actually being safe anymore.

Here’s another reason why I’ve been much more depressed this month versus 2 months ago: people have started to make plans, or expect you to make plans. The people making these plans are the same ones in groups 1 and 2 above. The “things will definitely be better by June” crowd. Well guess what, they probably won’t. And I refuse to make plans for June because it’s too dang depressing.

Here’s a great example. My mom, love her, wanted to put a zoom event on the calendar for the last week of June. I had three options:

  1. Say no. I will probably be vaccinated then and the second I can travel safely again, I am OUT OF HERE.
  2. Say yes. This sh*t will be going on FOREVER so may as well just zoom until the end of time. But I already zoom 8 hours a day EVERY SINGLE DAY so that is VERY depressing.
  3. Not answer because I am pretty sure the real situation will be #2 and I just cannot wrap my head around doing this for many more months.

Guess which option I took?

Anyway, y’all, I miss my friends.

I have no hope.

The end.

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True Life: Engaged and Quarantined

February 14th, I got engaged to the love of my life. One month later on March 14th, we made the split-second decision to flee our home and asked his sister if we could temporarily stay with them in Texas. And here we are on April 14th, basically moved in with my future in-laws with no end in sight and trying not to kill each other. At least once a day I catch myself looking down at my ring, taking a deep breath, and reminding myself that I signed up for this. But did I? Did any of us?

I think everyone can agree that besides Tiger King, the only thing keeping us sane in 2020 is the abundance of memes on Instagram. My personal favorites are the ones like “Day 27 of Quarantine, I have realized that I can’t stand the sound of my husband breathing.” I spoke to a friend recently who said she never realized how loud her partner chewed and has now resorted to playing loud music whenever they dine together. Which is every single meal, every day.

Don’t get me wrong, things could be worse. SO MUCH WORSE. I have a roof over my head, a job, and plenty of (too much?) food. I also have a loving partner who said last night that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. To which I said, “Really? Still?”

Living together is hard. I remember when Chris and I first made the decision to move in together, about 1.5 years into our relationship. I was SUPER nervous about it. I had lived with people my entire life, from parents to roommates, to more roommates, then MORE roommates, because NYC, ya know? Anyway, I had never shared a room with someone besides for one year in a dorm with a roommate who basically slept at her boyfriend’s apartment. And I certainly had not shared a bathroom with a boy besides my brother, who I could just hit if he left the toilet seat up. But a tiny 1-bedroom apartment with a man who I couldn’t just hit when I got annoyed? That was uncharted territory. And it was not easy.

There were socks everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. I would take the sheets off and find anywhere from 2-7 single socks at the bottom of the bed. Socks in the bathroom, in the living room under the couch. RIGHT next to the hamper. And don’t get me started on the dang toilet seat. It’s an ongoing battle. We are still in training, much like when you adopt a puppy, but it’s “please don’t pee on the seat” instead of “please don’t pee in the corner on the rug” (but also sometimes that).

Thankfully, this quarantine happened after Chris and I had already been living together for 3 years, so we had both come to terms with each other’s eccentricities. We were prepared. Or we thought we were.

Narrator: “They were not prepared.”

Living with each other in your own home is one thing but living in someone else’s home is a completely different thing, especially when it is one of your family’s homes. Don’t get me wrong, I love his family. First of all, they are INCREDIBLY generous allowing us to come from the heart of the pandemic in NYC and move in on 6 hours’ notice, literally. Also, they have never been anything but welcoming to me. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is not my house.

There’s a level of comfort in knowing where the containers are and knowing that each top has a bottom because if it doesn’t, you throw it out.

Or knowing that the pillows are the right height so your neck doesn’t feel off all day.

Or knowing that by 11 am, everyone is awake and you can blast music to do a workout class or run the blender to make a protein shake.

Or knowing when the dishes in the dishwasher are clean. (Side note: I have spent 4 weeks now using my incredibly stealthy detective skills to try and figure out their system. I still have not made any headway.)

If you’re sitting at home reading this and playing the world’s smallest violin for my troubles, I get it. There are people out there struggling to survive. People in abusive relationships or without loving partners. I am lucky to have a loving partner, but he treats this house like it is his parent’s home with mommy dearest to clean up after him. Except she isn’t here, I am. And I am the guest, so I feel the need to clean up, pitch in, cook, fold laundry, etc. He feels the need to do NONE of those things except prance down the stairs when he smells bacon. This literally happened today.

This is certainly not the way I would have predicted our engagement to go. Thankfully, we have both been really busy with work. As you know from my previous blogs, one way we try to stay sane and keep from yelling at each other for breathing is by having a weekly date night. This has disappeared. I keep telling him he needs to plan something for me. ANYTHING. A picnic for lunch. A hike. Breakfast in bed. He told me today he is “just waiting to surprise me.” I told him it’s been 4.5 weeks and I’m sick of waiting. But what other choice do I have? Where am I going? Literally NOWHERE.

The good news is that we were not in any rush to get married, so we haven’t lost money or time on deposits or slashed dreams. The bad news is that there are no future plans in place to keep us together. We are holding it together by a tiny band of platinum and a not-as-tiny diamond. And love. Sometimes. When he picks up his socks.

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Social Distance Schedule

Hey guys, how are you doing? Keeping busy? My mom sent her day’s work-from-home schedule to the family group chat this morning. She’s a busy woman. There was cleaning of rooms, pedicuring of toes, and best yet, DOWNLOAD INSTAGRAM. That’s right y’all, my mom is officially on Instagram. Since most of the people who subscribe to my blog are her friends, let me be the first one to tell you to follow my mom! She needs followers!

Anyway, back to the schedule, she inspired me to send her my schedule for the day:

8:00 am Wakeup

8-9:00 Do hair to put on the gram

9-9:15:00 Try and be creative with a breakfast avocado meal

9:15-12:00 pm Be mad about work

10:00 Coffee date with my mannequin head

12:00 Walk around neighborhood trying not to be frustrated about work

12:30 Convince one of the boys to take a photo of my hair outside

12:45 Try and be creative with a lunch avocado meal

1:30 Get more frustrated with work

4:00 Solo Dance Party

5:00 Try to convince one of the boys to exercise with me

6:30 Shower but probably not wash hair bc why bother

7:00 Try to be creative with a dinner avocado meal

6-11 Try not to murder Chris

See??? I’m busy too!! If you guys don’t know why there’s so much on there about avocados, the short version is that somehow we came into a free case of avocados that I am trying to eat/use before they go bad.

So back to the schedule. If you have been on social media at all (if you haven’t… WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!), then you’ve seen many parents’ schedules. They include wakeup times, bedtimes, physical activities, craft activities, outdoor time, school time, scheduled meals, etc. Basically, doing THE MOST.

God bless those parents. I do not know how they will continue with that level of discipline. Personally, I relate a lot more to the Israeli woman who is screaming at her iphone in her car, trying to escape her 4 kids at home.

If you haven’t seen it… I highly recommend it.

Then, if you hit up the meme accounts, like @no.fucksgiiven, or @wheredidmyvodkago or @fuckjerry or @quentin.quarantino , you’ll see very different schedules. Basically, trying to stay alive, trying to stay sane, spending 88% of your waking hours on screen time, and eating every single snack at your house. Also, completely giving up on all of your new year’s resolutions because like… WHY BOTHER?!

(Mommy – you should follow those meme accounts! It may inspire your schedule for tomorrow.)

I like to think my schedule is a healthy balance of both. I have a Zoom Happy Hour on the calendar for Thursday (which is still 2 very long days away), but most of my day revolves around cooking food, exercising, and trying to consciously stay out of the kitchen to eat all of my food. I told my BFF I was going to write this blog, and she sent me her schedule, as well. Please note, she is a nurse in Seattle, so her life and schedule is MUCH more stressful than anything I am dealing with, but there is still a lot of overlap.

10:00 am Wake Up

10-11:00 Read news articles about Corona and panic. Sometimes cry.

11:00 Make eggs for breakfast, but not the usual amount because I’m rationing

12-1:00 pm Open work emails and panic again

1:00 Go for a run and wonder why there are so many cars on the road

3:00 Prolong shower

5:00 Shower*

6:00 Beer*

*In the next few days, shower and beer may fall into the same time slot

Reading her schedule made me realize that I had left “panic” out of my schedule, but don’t fret, it’s an all-day event, so just assume it belongs in all of my waking hours, and sometimes my sleeping ones, too.

We have our HUGE event of the week scheduled for tomorrow… “try not to get coronavirus at the grocery store.” Wish us luck!! What are your schedules looking like? Leave them in the comments.

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