I used to believe: “If you want something done well, you need to do it yourself.”

Slowly but surely, I have migrated to the camp of: “Why would I do something if I could pay someone else to do it for me?”

It’s been an evolution, but the busier I got after college, the less inclined I was to spend my “precious time” doing tasks I didn’t want to do. And truthfully, my fiancé has had a huge influence on my thinking. It’s not necessarily that he can’t do things, it’s just that he doesn’t want to. And when you are working 80+ hour work weeks, I completely understand not wanting to spend your valuable free time putting together a bookshelf or cleaning the floor. It’s all about delegating! There’s an app for that: TaskRabbit.

You might say I had my “come to Jesus” moment when we first moved apartments together. My fiancé said hands down we were getting people to pack for us. Meanwhile, I BAWKED at the $1000 price tag. But then I realized it was $500 each, and the amount of time I would spend sourcing boxes, packing etc., (and badly – I’m not a professional!) definitely made it worth hiring out. And let me tell you… I’ll NEVER go back. We lived a completely normal life until the morning of the move. There was no “we can’t have eggs, our pans are already packed,” or “what the heck box did I put my underwear in!” It was THE BEST.

But back to cleaning. We both hate cleaning. Does anyone like it? I am not a messy person, in fact, I’m pretty tidy. But tidy is not the same thing as clean. And my sweet fiancé?? I don’t think he’s ever cleaned a toilet in his life. Pretty much the first month we moved in together he sent me a piece from the New York Times about it. The Times publishes almost the exact same article every year. The gist? You’ll be in a happier relationship if someone else does the cleaning.

In the 2017 piece, an assistant professor at the Harvard Business School created a study that found, “People who spent money to buy themselves time, such as by outsourcing disliked tasks, reported greater overall life satisfaction.”

But now it’s a global pandemic and my same fiancé who couldn’t live without his cleaner is now scared to have someone come into our safe haven home. The main problem? Our house still gets dirty. In fact, it’s way worse because we are in it 24/7! The only food we eat, we make in our own kitchen. The only bathroom we use is our own. We aren’t taking vacations and sleeping elsewhere. It’s a mess. Literally.

I knew I needed to nip this in the bud as soon as we came back to NYC, so I started priming Chris for this idea of splitting chores. While in Texas I mentioned how I didn’t want to be in charge of all cleaning. Then I talked about how he wanted to split tasks. I have learned from working with children that the more buy-in and choice they think they have, the better the result. So I asked him:

• Are there certain things you prefer to do?
• Do you want to do the same chores every week?
• Should we switch off?
• What are the things we should make sure we are cleaning daily/weekly/monthly?

Then I took out my scrapbooking box from under the bed (this is NYC, a lot of stuff goes under there) and got to work. I even crowdsourced on Facebook to see if people had ideas or templates. Most templates I saw online only were for children’s chores. I only two examples of couples splitting chores, which I found semi-troubling (Thrifty Mom and Our Little Apartment).

I spent a long time figuring out the color scheme I wanted. Too long, if I’m being honest. Then I used a paper cutter to measure out the exact dimensions so it was even. I used a tiny puncher to round all of the corners. I layered paper within my chosen color scheme. I found sparkly stickers to spell out our names. Then I had to divide the tasks evenly.

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Chris said he had no preference of tasks and that he’d like to switch off. I made my chart and I made our names on separate pieces of paper so I could switch them week to week. I looked on Amazon for cute, pretty, and strong magnets. I needed something that would stick through lamination, and I wanted them pretty since they were going to live on our fridge (which is visible from pretty much our entire apartment because New York).

I made a check list with mini circles that would hopefully match up with my magnets, and two columns for tasks to do, and tasks that were done. In theory, this was so that we could do the chores slowly throughout the week/month and know that at least they were getting done at some point. In reality, we have been leaving them until Sunday and then doing them all. I told you we hate chores! Procrastination is the name of the game.

Here’s how it’s going: the chores are getting done but we hate it. I feel less anxious because I’m not living in filth but I do dread Sundays. And 2.5 weeks in, Chris asked me to text our old cleaning lady and ask her to come back. She hasn’t written me back yet, but I’ll keep you posted. At least it looks cute!

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