I know I’m supposed to bury the lede but… I SAID YES TO THE DRESS!!!!
That’s right, I am one step closer to completing my checklist. The last item being: getting married.
If you read my post last week, you know I was not looking forward to a weekend of wedding dress shopping, but a lot of things about my experience surprised me and it was actually a super fun weekend.
On Saturday, I took a train to Philadelphia. It was my first time in Moynihan Station, which was a fun start to the trip. It was GORGEOUS in there! Although my train boarded 30 minutes late, I still got to the city of brotherly love with plenty of time to spare. It was so great to see my mom for the first time since before Thanksgiving. We headed out to our first bridal appointment where I had an entourage of my mom and her friend Randi who happens to be younger than me, despite being my mom’s friend (now my friend, too!). I really wanted a younger perspective and she’s been married 6 years so I knew she had been through this before.
My first appointment was at a salon called Sabrina Ann, a consignment bridal store with once worn and never worn dresses. A lot of the inventory comes from bridal salons and floor samples. While I was super excited about the idea of a more designer-quality dress at a lower price, I was most nervous about this store because I didn’t know if they would have anything that fit me. We were greeted by my consultant, Judy, who set the tone. She said “Is this our SUPER TALL VERY TALL bride?” At first, I was offended. But then I remembered that when I scheduled the appointment I had emailed ahead asking if they’d have inventory for me because I was “very, very tall.” They had assured me that it would be fine.
Something I didn’t know? At bridal appointments they never greet you by saying “hi,” they always say, “congratulations!” After we got the many “congrats” out of the way, Judy got to work. We talked sizing, and as I suspected, she pulled dresses 1 or 2 sizes larger than my street size. But they had many in my size! Since this was my very first appointment, I wanted to try on dresses in styles I had in mind, but I was also open to trying other styles just to see. It turned out my mom had made “Yes” “No” “Maybe” signs like what I mentioned I had made for my friend, which was super fun. These came into play a lot throughout the weekend.
To be honest, the first thing that surprised me so much about the whole process was how decisive I was. There were many dresses where the second I put them on, it was an immediate no. It was still kind of fun to put on lots of different things, though. Some were boho forest fairy, some were Cinderella, some red carpet, some Greek goddess. It was like playing dress up! Out of all of them, though, only 2 were contenders, but they were serious ones!
There was one dress that immediately stood out to me on the rack. Sure enough, it was one of the final two contenders, both of which I loved. But ultimately I went with a different dress that would need some alterations on the back, but overall fit extremely well and was very flattering (and long enough!).
I was able to Facetime with Chris’s older sister in Texas while I was in the dress to see what she thought. It was fun to have her and her husband’s opinions! I stayed with them for six months at the beginning of Covid (remember my time in Texas?), so I feel very close to them, and their opinions were important to me.
Since each dress was one-of-a-kind, the store gave an option if I wasn’t ready to buy yet, to put a dress on hold for $30 to take it off the floor for 3 days. I made a decision out of my final two dresses I loved, and we left the store feeling very successful. The pressure was off! I had two appointments the next day, but I knew I already had a dress I loved on hold so I felt like the rest of the weekend could be fun.
Day 2, two more appointments, and I officially had a family entourage. My sister and my future-sister-in-law took the train/bus into Philly, and we headed to appointment number 2: David’s Bridal. To make it even more fun, my sister came bearing themed attire. Y’all know I’ve never met a theme I didn’t love. I strutted into David’s Bridal in my “Bride To Be” sash and Bride Headband (duh hair accessory) like I owned the place. I had heard some horror stories about DB, like the zippers breaking and having to be sewn into a dress, but I had also heard that MANY bridal success stories, and they have dresses at very reasonable prices.
We got off to a rocky start, since our assigned consultant was 20 minutes late. They checked us in and told us to just walk around the salon and pick dresses we liked, and “turn them to the side.” This quickly became a sh*tshow because there were 8 brides all around the store, turning all types of dresses, lots I would not be caught dead in. Some were in garment bags, some were not, and we were very lost and confused. But then our consultant Melissa arrived, and it was a 180. She. Was. Awesome.
The first thing she said was, “Listen, I didn’t make any of these dresses, I just work here. So I need you to be brutally honest. If the dress is ugly, say, ‘the dress is UGLY’ I will not be offended.” She told us that the goal was to find a dress. But if we didn’t find a dress, the goal was just to leave the store with a way better idea of what I liked and what I didn’t. She said if I left with a better idea of material, silhouette, etc, then she did her job. She said she would make me try on each of the classic silhouettes and really listen to what I liked and didn’t, and start to whittle it down. And DAMN she was good. She heard things I was saying and things I wasn’t even saying, or didn’t think I was saying. Ultimately, I picked 5 dresses from the rack to try, she brought me an additional 4, and guess which was my favorite? A Melissa pick.
One of the things that really surprised me from bridal shopping was how much I needed to see myself in a photo. Thankfully, I had three people there taking pictures because it was difficult for me to get outside my body and really see the full picture. Not to mention, it was difficult to see the back! Sorry guys, but you’re not seeing any of those photos. After narrowing the dresses down to a final 2, I looked at myself in photos and there was really no question in my mind which was better after that. I had to look at my “on hold” dress photos from the day prior and compare it. But there was just no contest, the Melissa pick dress was far and above better. It was perfect. It had literally everything I wanted and a few things I didn’t even know I wanted (but Melissa did!).
I was ready to say YES. BUT. When I first started looking at bridal gowns (like 3 weeks prior), there was ONE DRESS I kept coming back to. And it was at BHLDN, which was my next and last stop of the day. I really didn’t want to say YES before I saw that dress. I knew I would have the “what-ifs” if I didn’t try that gown on. So I said “yes for now” and I got Melissa’s card and said I’d call later. But I was 99% sure this was the dress. She said, “hold that thought” and brought over a bell. She said, “hold this bell, close your eyes, and make a wish for your wedding day. Then, open your eyes and ring it.” I did that, and sure enough the entire store started clapping and I started crying and it was just A MOMENT. I’m not gonna lie, it felt super anti-climactic to walk out of that store and not buy that dress right that moment, but I knew it would be there for me later.
NEXT UP: Stop #3, BHLDN, the wedding brand of Anthropology. We stopped for a bite to eat first, I ate a protein bar to keep my energy up, and then we headed to the final stop of the day. Trying on dresses is a lot of work! I had 6,000 steps just from many, many 15-step trips to and from a pedestal, and many shoulder presses, taking dresses over my head.
I’m not gonna lie, it felt WEIRD shopping for a dress knowing I had a dress to beat. But when I met consultant #3, Andrew, I told him the truth (mostly). I told him I had gone to one other store (lie) and that I had a dress I loved, and a dress to beat (true). He was totally understanding, and I explained that first and foremost I wanted to try on the one dress in my mind, but I was also very intrigued by the whole Anthro aesthetic boho fabulous IYKYK. I tried on about 8 dresses. This store was a bit of a struggle because the dresses were all BEAUTIFUL. But I didn’t love them on me. They reminded me of dresses I would drool over if I had a pinterest board (I don’t), seeing them on other brides prancing through fields of tall grass.
Andrew kept asking me what I didn’t like about the dresses, and for the first time all weekend, it was really difficult for me to articulate because they were all so pretty. I said that, and Andrew said, “Honey, wedding dresses are made to be beautiful. They’re all pretty. It’s not about which one is a beautiful dress, it’s about which one makes you feel beautiful in it.” At that, I said to him, let me go look at the photos, but I think I have found my dress at another store. I asked him if people come in a lot with a dress to beat and if he feels bad, but he said it happens often, which made me feel a bit better about wasting his time.
I sat down on the couch with my family, and made the decision, Melissa’s pick at store #2.
We went out to celebratory drinks and food (lobster mac and cheese YUM), and I called David’s Bridal to order my dress over the phone. It’s supposed to come in on March 6th and they will ship it to me for free!
It’s been 4 days since I said yes to the dress, and every day I have been looking at the photos on my phone. I LOVE my dress! I probably could have narrowed the dresses down to about 2 or 3 alone, but I never could have picked the one without my family’s opinions and approval. It meant a lot to have them there, and to have the signs. Sometimes their “maybes” surprised me since I was a definite no. Now is the hard part – keeping it to myself! It is KILLING me not showing Chris. It is killing me not showing you all! I live my life pretty publicly so it’s very bizarre to have this huge secret. I have to keep reminding myself that my wedding is actually quite soon, so I don’t have to keep the secret for long.
Oh, two more things. You may remember I was worried about body comments. Never once did I get a comment from a consultant about my body. Not once! Except for the initial tall comment, but that was my own fault. If anything, it was all “you look beautiful” “you’re gorgeous” “you’re the perfect height.” So, I had nothing to worry about there. And honestly? Most of the dresses DID fit perfectly! They didn’t all look flattering, and I definitely saw rolls in places I’d rather not see them (cough cough my back) but the dresses mostly zipped and it was just a matter of what I felt good in. And as for the cost, when I got home Sunday night, I told Chris that my dress was well below budget. And he said, “what was the budget?” and when I told him $1500 including alterations, he said, “Really? That seems low.” Which is a SUPER WIN.
On to the next decision! Well actually, on to my brother’s wedding, which is in two weeks. Too bad I can’t wear my wedding gown to that! I love it that much! But his fiancée probably wouldn’t appreciate it…
