Koala in NYC

The best part about living in New York City is that everyone always visits. There’s no need to travel to see friends, because friends always want to come to see you! New York is the best city in the USA (not biased at all), and there is so much to do.

However, the worst part about living in New York City is ALSO that everyone always visits. If you think it’s exhausting living in the most populated and dense city in the world, navigating without a car, dealing with constant weather changes and no changes of clothes etc., imagine that PLUS showing people around and walking through Times Square. Blegh. My favorite is when someone asks if I’ll be meeting them at the airport. HAHAHHAH No. I will not. What would I do anyway? I can’t go to the gate and I don’t have a car. I will be in my living room waiting for your Uber to arrive.

Anyway, as I mentioned, the complicated part of every tourist’s first NYC visit is that they always want to see and do the same things. Times Square. Freedom Tower. 9-11 Memorial. Top of the Rock. The high line. Broadway shows. The Met. MOMA. The New York Public Library (Carrie was supposed to get married there, you know!). Central Park. 5th Avenue. And don’t get me started on tourists wanting to go to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. I generally advise that it’s a full-day activity and I will meet them when they get back for a late dinner.

I know I sound like a complete B, but it’s very difficult to have tourists in town, when every tourist wants to see the same things that you’ve seen 100 times.

But what happens when the New York visitor used to live in New York, has already done all the things and been all the places, knows how to navigate the subway alone, and doesn’t actually need you to act as a tour guide? Well then, you have fun. And that’s exactly what I have been doing for the past two weeks.

I’m very lucky to have a BFF who lives halfway around the world in Australia, and I’m even luckier that she visits often and we see each other in 3D almost every year.

I met Katherine from Craig’s List, which is where all great friendships begin. (I don’t think I need to tell y’all that is sarcasm, but please do not go searching for new friends on Craig’s List, that is actually how all true crime Netflix documentaries begin, not friendships.) It is, however, how our friendship began. It was March 2014, and I was living in a 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom apartment that we had broken into 4 bedrooms. We were searching for a lucky 4th roommate to join our home. I was living an EXTREMELY miserable life as an attorney, and I was hoping our next roommate would be a fun addition to our crew. Kat showed up to our living room for an interview and we loved her immediately. Her accent, her cleanliness, and did I mention her accent? She had just graduated college and was in New York for a year, looking to explore all of the arts and culture that it had to offer.

The rest is history. She became an integral part of my friends group, and we showed her all of the American things she needed to know, like how cold it gets at Christmas at this latitude (she carried a Christmas tree home from a street vendor with me), and how even though we don’t know much about soccer, we still will drink excessively if the US is playing in the World Cup. We also introduced her to her first Bloomin’ Onion, which, curiously, they do not actually have in Australia. Who knew?

Even though she moved back to Australia in 2015, she came back to visit in the summer of 2016, 2017, 2018 AND 2019. Then she came back to the US for her glorious post-Covid return in 2022, once Australia allowed their citizens to leave again, and she came to Mexico for my wedding. I was so honored to have her there, and I knew I HAD to go to Australia. I had been talking about it for years. Finally, in fall of 2022, I went to visit. We spent two weeks together and had a blast.

Then, 3 weeks ago, she came back to New York. So, what does a person show a “visitor” when she’s seen all the things? Well, as it turns out, mostly restaurants.

A few weeks before Kat’s arrival in the big apple, she sent me her notes app with a full list of 30+ restaurants she wanted to hit. The timing was perfect because the first week she was in New York, I only had two days of work. This left plenty of time for eating. My friends all mobilized because it’s not every day that a person from 10,000 miles away visits! We had a friend fly in from Florida for 5 days, a friend from south Jersey come in for two days, and a friend who was away in Florida for Christmas flew back early to spend time with Kat.

We ate a LOT. We went to Parm. We went to Papaya Dog. She got Halal Guys. We had happy hour at a Mexican place. We had brunch at Bubby’s. We had another brunch at Maison Pickle. We had gelato at Anita. We went to JG Melon’s. We took her to Raising Cane’s for the first time. We went to a HUGE family-style dinner at Carmine’s. We had the special Upper West Side flavor at Ample Hills ice cream (Night at the Museum).

Speaking of museums, visiting museums is her truly favorite activity in New York, but since I don’t love/understand art, I mostly let her get her art fill while I worked. However, she did persuade me to go to the Jewish Museum, which I had never been to before. My mom drove in from Philadelphia for a day visit to see Katherine, and we started the day with bagels, as any good Jew crew does before visiting the Jewish Museum. There was a very interesting exhibit on of photographs of Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s collars. Also, there was a beautiful  fashion exhibit of Gaby Aghion and the house of Chloe.

Besides eating and one museum, we also went to see two Broadway shows. The first week, we went to see Gutenberg!, which was absolutely hysterical. We laughed out loud the entire time. While it considers itself a musical, and there are a lot of songs, I wouldn’t say the music was memorable. The comedy, however, was amazing. Also, the entire show was done by the two main actors: Josh Gad and Andrew Rannells. There were literally 0 other people in the show. The only exception was that 10 minutes before the end, there is a guest star every night, and it is always a surprise. The night we went, it was Billy Crystal and people were agog. It was such a fun addition.

For the entire next week, I entered the lottery to see at least 7 different shows every day, and eventually, I won! I ended up winning tickets to see Kimberly Akimbo, which we both had heard amazing things about, but knew absolutely nothing of the plot. When you win lottery seats, you never know where they will be in the theater, and since the tickets are $40/piece, you get what you get, and you don’t get upset. Well, our seats were in the front row. FRONT! Row AA. This was only the second time this happened to me, the other was when I saw Frozen in February 2020. It was a bit annoying craning our heads, but we could see every actor’s facial expressions and it made the experience even more unique and exciting.

We loved Kimberly Akimbo. It was very different from Gutenberg! still funny, but also heartwarming, and cute, and I may have even cried once, what else is new!? I highly recommend it.

Besides Broadway and food, we did a lot of walking around the city, through Central Park, up Riverside Park, through and around Little Island, and into shops in Tribeca. We also did a lot of hanging out with big groups of friends. It was a huge change of pace, given that I was mostly a hermit recluse for the entirety of 2023. Who knew that all it took for me to leave my couch was a friend who traveled across the world. She even got me to stay out on New Year’s Eve until 2 am! I later learned that she was out until 5 am, including a late-night Taco Bell run, but I was impressed with myself for my 2 am bedtime.

I don’t know yet when I’ll see her next, but she’s always welcome to come back to New York, especially because she doesn’t ask me to go to the top of the Empire State Building!

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Bucket List

Last weekend I was describing my recent trip to Australia to a friend when I said, “I’m really happy to have knocked a few things off of my bucket list.” And now I am on a plane on my way back to New York (from a different trip) and I started watching the movie The Bucket List. It’s not a new movie, but it stars Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, so I figured it had to be good. It turns out it WAS good, but it left me pondering.

The movie premise is about two older men (but not extremely old) who are diagnosed with terminal illnesses, become extremely unlikely friends, and bond over completing their “bucket lists” before they die. Not exactly an uplifting premise, but certainly one that made me think.

I am (thank god) not approaching death to my knowledge, despite the fact that my husband thinks my one sweet n low/day in my coffee is slowly causing my demise. However, I’ve always had a list like this. My problem: the list only seems to grow. I have a lot of friends who see my travels and gape at all of the places I have been. My response? “But I’ve never been to Asia!” Or “I’d really love to go to Japan.” Or “Yes I’ve been to Iceland, but I only went to Reykjavik and I can’t believe I didn’t get a chance to see the Northern Lights.”

I grew up in a relatively privileged environment. I had two parents in the home, I never worried about food insecurity, housing insecurity, I always went to great schools and had siblings and friends to play with. I was also lucky not to travel in circles like the kids I see in Manhattan. You know the types… the ones who use “summer” as a verb and have been flying Business to Switzerland since they learned how to ski. My family went on an annual family vacation, usually to the Jersey Shore. And we loved it. I fondly remember playing in the pool with my dad where he would play “Monster of the Deep,” and creep up on us in the deep end, pick us up and throw us to the other side of the pool. I remember saltwater taffy and funnel cake on the boardwalk, and “beauty pageants” by the hotel or motel pool, where I’d always win a participation prize of a retractable hair brush. The point is, I was happy, but I was sheltered. I had no idea what else was out there, and it was a blessing and a curse.

In college, I started going on cruises and getting a taste of what else was out there: mostly beautiful beaches, since the cruises from Florida mostly went to the Caribbean. Then I went to Israel twice and realized WOW, there are so many other cultures. I wanted to experience them ALL.

On my final flight back from Australia last month, there were multiple teenagers who clearly hadn’t been on a plane before. They kept opening and closing the window shade to take photos of the clouds. It was highly annoying. But it also made me think: am I not appreciating the little things anymore? I was SO tired. It was my 7th flight of the month. (One of them I jumped out of, hence the uneven number. More on that later.) I just wanted to get home and get into my bed. But within my utter annoyance with these girls, I also realized that maybe my Ever-Growing Bucket List is clouding my vision and appreciation.

Since I didn’t write a whole blog on my Australia trip, I’ll give you a quick recap of highlights. Maybe I’ll write more another time.

Here are some things I did: traveled across the WORLD. Went on my longest flight I’ve ever been on. Visited a new continent. Saw where my friend lived after being friends for 8+ years. Spent time exploring a new city. Toured the world-famous opera house. Had food and drinks under the Sydney Harbor Bridge. Saw Luna Park. Walked the Sydney Harbor Bridge. Tried hot pot for the first time. Tried Malaysian food for the first time. Saw wild kangaroos. Fed wallabies. Touched a koala. Saw wild wombats. Visited multiple breathtaking waterfalls. Rode the world’s steepest railway car. Saw the Great Barrier Reef. Scuba dove for the first time. Ziplined for the first time. In a rainforest. Saw the only place in the world where two UNESCO World Heritage Sites abut one another. Walked paths that were once walked by dinosaurs. Jumped out of an airplane.

Every single one of those things is content enough for its own blog post, and I left things out! How is it POSSIBLE that there are still things on my “list”? I have felt a lot of tick tock time pressure lately. The pressure that comes along with being a woman who wants children and is in her mid-30s. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts about my life being over when I have kids. And don’t get me wrong, I still want them. Definitely 100% for sure I want children. But I ALSO want all of these other things.

I want to see and walk on the Great Wall. I want to ride a bullet train in Japan. I want to see the Northern Lights. I want to see the Pyramids. I want to stay in an overwater bungalow in the Maldives. I want to go glamping in Africa and I want to see giraffes in the wild. I want to go in a hot air balloon, preferably in Cappadocia.

And the list keeps growing. I have friends who follow travel accounts on Instagram, and meanwhile, I have very consciously unfollowed them all because I felt it was bad for my mental health. The FOMO is real! Sometimes I even mute my friends when they go on vacations or trips because I know I will be too jealous to be happy for them! This is by far a first world problem.

I recently had some conversations with friends of mine who are parents, and the only generalization I have been able to glean is that every family is different. There are some parents who clearly and unequivocally say, “your life isn’t over when you have kids!” But then all of their Instagram stories are of their kids, or about their kids, and their conversations and complaints are about kids, and you guessed it, their vacations are too. These are the families I used to focus on, and I think that’s what led to this “end of times” mentality around travel and exploration.

Some of my friends who have had kids admit their lives changed drastically, that nothing is the same, and that all things will revolve around their kids for at least a decade. I feel selfish to admit this but… I’m not ready for that sacrifice! To me, these people may say “well then maybe you’re not ready for kids.” But there is a third group. The elusive in-betweens. These are the friends who say, “your life isn’t over when you have kids” and they truly practice what they preach. They continue to have multifaceted lives, some activities and conversation around their kids, and some not. They have fulfilling careers. They have hobbies and interests. They sometimes even (gasp) take trips with their girlfriends and leave their kids home!

I have a feeling that my bucket list will continue to grow. The more time I live in this world, the more I realize how much more there is to see. And I think that’s ok. I need to also be appreciative of all of the things I have seen and achieved. As a woman in her mid-30’s, all of this travel and exploration was not possible or attainable for the generations before me. I am lucky to have so much content for my blog, and I am sure I will keep posting here, even if it means mining material from previous trips for a short period of time.

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