I have been a gym rat for 12 years now, but also, I have basically always been poor. At least since I was 18. As of yet, my mint.com has not saved me the thousands of dollars I had hoped, so meanwhile I’ve perfected the art of joining the gym for free or for a reduced price. Most recently, I was in Pennsylvania helping my mom after she had a hip replacement (full blog on that coming soon), and I needed somewhere to work out for 7 days! So how did I do it? There are two key components: research, and lies. And a bit of persuasion.

The ultimate #winning move for a free gym has been teaching fitness classes. Not only do I get to use the gym for free, but I also get PAID to work out. Clearly this is not an option everyone would like to take advantage of, but if you want to talk to me about becoming a fitness instructor, I’d be happy to chat with you. There are basically only advantages. Anyway, if you don’t want to work out in front of 30 people, and talk the whole time, here are my ways to join a gym for free.

My first place I scope out is always Planet Fitness. Technically, they are $10/month and there is no commitment. However, they have been getting smart recently, and now there is a $69 initiation fee and a $39 annual fee, even if you cancel after one month. So no commitment? More like a commitment of $118 + as many months as you want. No thanks. Every once in a while, though, they waive the fees, and it really is $10/month. So do your research and check if they are running any specials. Also, if you have been a member previously (read: if you have ever paid $10 to them ever in the past), try and sell yourself as a RETURNING member, reinstating your membership. Then they sometimes waive the initiation fee. Of course this is complete and utter bullshit and word-jenga, but it sometimes works. I paid $10 to them 3 years ago when I went to my parents for a week-long Christmas vacation, and therefore, they waived the $69 fee the next time. I’ll take it.

Option Number Two: research and haggling skills. If you learn one thing in this blog post, learn this lesson: absolutely NEVER pay the first prices quoted at any corporate megagym. The first gym where I taught after college was LA Fitness, and it always blew my mind to hear what members were paying. Why? Because it was NEVER the same price! Research is key here; don’t be afraid to ask people what they are paying before you join! It cannot hurt to go into a gym consultation (AFTER USING THE FREE PASS, see below), with some info, so you can say “$50/month?? My friend Linda pays $39.” They can’t dispute that, because it is true! Also, lesson number three as stated above: initiation fees are complete bullshit. Gyms use initiation fees for two purposes, 1. To get more money from people who are afraid to counter it, and 2. So they have something to take away during their “membership drives” without losing any profit. Listen to me here: if you pay a gym initiation fee, you are a sucker. Lesson number four: PRETEND YOU’RE POOR. Or maybe you are poor! If that’s the case, don’t be afraid to say it. They will work with you. Let me reiterate here though, this is for megagyms like LA Fitness and YMCAs. SoulCycle doesn’t give a shit if you’re poor and doesn’t want you there. How will you buy their branded and upcharged lululemon?

Next option: new gyms. This is America, the land of the fat and constantly-dieting. Therefore, there are ALWAYS new gyms popping up. Pretty much any gym offers a bargain or free trial pass to get you in the door. Little do they know, you be going OUT the door in a few days, when the trial pass is over. This is where the lies and charm kick in. When I first moved to New York, I didn’t join a gym for 2 months. I was trying to get a gym to hire me to teach, and I didn’t want to waste money on a membership when I knew I would have to cancel once I started teaching. Let me tell you, I did not miss a single day in the gym. Between New York Sports Club’s week free pass, The YMCA’s multiple guest passes, my friends’ free guest passes to Equinox, free first classes at niche studios throughout Brooklyn and Manhattan, I had very toned legs, and a full wallet.

Most recently in Pennsylvania, my mom had heard about a new Anytime Fitness, where her manicurist is a member. I checked them out online and BAM, free 7 day pass. (They also have a Groupon right now! Do your research, guys.) I was only going to be in Pennsylvania for 5 days, so that was perfect. Only catch here, you had to be local. Well guess what, my mom is local, and we still have the last name! (If emoji bf doesn’t step it up, I may be able to use this fact to my advantage forever.) I filled out the form online, used my mom’s address, then I armed myself with a believable and half-true story, and an inquisitive, “I’m trying to decide which gym to join” face. The first day I tried to go to the gym ready to pretend to listen to a pitch, there was no one there. Anytime Fitness is 24/7 for members, but if you’re on a free pass, the manager has to be there to let you in. Although the door said someone would be there until 2 pm, it was 1 pm and the door was locked. As I stood at the door pondering my options, a guy left the gym and held the door open for me. Don’t mind if I do! I walked right in and had a great 2 hour workout. Lesson here: just loiter in front of the door of a gym. Someone will eventually leave.

The next time I went to Anytime Fitness, the manager was there and he showed me around. The whole thing took under 5 minutes. The lesson here: when they ask you if you have questions, it’s ok to say no. The only real question you have after all, is, “when can I start my workout?” As it turns out, I didn’t have to use my well-spun story of lies at all. I told him I had “just come from New York” (true) and when he asked how I heard about the gym, I told him my mom’s manicurist is a member (also true). He didn’t ask for my ID or anything! I had taken my mom’s license, just in case, but it turned out all I needed was my winning smile. 😉 The manager told me that not only would he knock $30 off the initiation fee (again, always tell them you are poor), but also, he said he would extend my free 7 day pass to be 14 days. Dang! I almost slipped and told him it was too bad I’d only be in town for 5. But I just smiled and nodded. Today is my last day in Philly and I’m a little sad to let my 9 remaining free trial pass days go to waste. I used their cable machines, the TRX, the kettle bells, the Open Stride, and even their virtual studio to take a step class. I would actually recommend this place. After some serious haggling, of course, and definitely without an initiation fee.