Some of you may remember Art Runs from my 2017 New Year Resolution that actually worked. My resolution was to find something new that made me excited again for physical activity. I found Runstreet Art Runs, a combination of running, exploring new neighborhoods, fantastic local murals and artists, and fab photos for my social media channels, taken by the talented Marques Jackson of Filles Garcons Photography.
A few weeks ago was the first huge event with Runstreet, the “BIGGEST ART RUN OF THE YEAR,” according to all of the promo emails I was spammed with. Originally, I wasn’t going to attend because I knew I was flying in from Chicago after midnight the night before, AND I had a 10K race the next day. TBH, I deleted the first 8 emails I got about it. But I made a lot of friends at previous art runs. And I follow them all on Instagram. And they ALL were posting about it. Eventually I gave into the peer pressure and FOMO (it’s a real thing).
JK, eventually I saw Marnie, creator of Runstreet, post a code for 50% off. I couldn’t resist. I love a good deal.
This big event was called the Daydream Art Run Festival, sponsored by Clif bar and Custom Performance PT. According to the website promo, it was going to include live music, costumes, a live Art Battle, interactive art photo stations, amazing murals, giveaways, a cash bar & taco truck. Tacos? I’m in.
Although the festival went on all day, there were hourly Art Runs in different waves named for many mythical, utopian creatures.
Best part though: it was called “Daydream” because it was supposed to celebrate a “Utopian land of dreams, where you are free to be whoever you please.” The website said to dress in costume for your wave or come as “whatever you desire.”
I ran in the 11 am wave, called “Unicorn,” because duh. 2017 was the “year of the unicorn,” even the year of the unicorn Frappuccino. Also, I chose that wave because it was the easiest wave to convince myself a tutu was appropriate costuming. Unfortunately, since the event was the morning after my flight home from Chicago, I totally forgot about the costume! Luckily, a friend who I know from art runs texted me the night before, asking what I was wearing. QUICKLY I searched through my costume box for my sparkliest tutu and tiara. Is a tiara unicorn-esque? Not really, but whatevs. It’s not a horn but it’s on your head. Close enough. And as far as I’m concerned, tiaras are ALWAYS approp.
Pre-race, coffee in hand, fanny pack on fleek.
Too much fun.
Casual photo opp.
Hey unicorn, are my fins alright?
I am used to showing up to a costume event as the most costumed person there (remember DIY costuming at Halloween?). When I showed up to the Daydream 5K I was pleasantly surprised, and incredibly underdressed. There were people in head-to-toe unitard onesies, thigh high socks, face paint, the whole 9. Luckily, they had people there doing free face-painting! Unluckily, it was the first day when the temperature reached 80, so I knew I would be stupid to put face paint on BEFORE the run. Quick flashback to my #sweatzilla posts from last summer.
Anyway, I arrived about 30 minutes early to check my metallic fanny pack at the bag check and hang out with a few friends. I even realized I recognized one of the girls who was going to run with us, and it was Hannah, one of the Peloton Instructors I like! Also, I met a girl who I had never met before, although we chat via Instagram all the time. Weird, I know. But this is the 21st century! She is another ex-lawyer in the fitness industry, although she does it full time, and my fitness is more of a fun side-hustle.
I mingled and gaped at the awesome costumes, and then at 11:15 we headed out on our 5K. I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t the best art run I’ve been on. Usually Marnie, the creator of Art Runs leads the pack, and she is super knowledgeable about street art and artists, so she is great about talking about the murals, their history, creators, etc. However, since there were 5 runs throughout the day, she couldn’t be expected to run all of them. The two girls in charge of the wave didn’t know much about the art. They had the notes on their phones, but it took a while to stop, pull up the notes, say the stuff, and by then, people were distracted and wanted to keep running. Also, it was a bit disorganized because the group was big. Sometimes, the guides would be done talking about the mural before half of the group even rounded the corner. We were lucky enough to still get some awesome pics from Marques, so that was fun. I wish I had learned a bit more about the art, though.
It’s a fun run.
So many unicorns… and a silver tutu princess.
Uni Mural with Unis IRL!
UNICORNS ARE COMING!!
When we returned to the Daydream home base at The Paper Box in Brooklyn, it was finally time to cool down, eat/drink some free stuff, and get my face painted! They had vendors from Boxed Water, Noosa Yoghurt (my absolute FAV in the world!), and Clif bar, of course. I grabbed as many nut-butter filled Clif bars and Clif blocks as my fanny pack would hold, and I hit the photo booth! I took a cute little gif with Marnie, and we posed on the back patio with the huge blow-up unicorn raft/photo prop. They had a raffle with more than 10 giveaways, but being the unluckiest person I know, I didn’t win anything. Oh well.
FREE SH*T!
Come pose with us, Liz!!
As we were getting ready to leave, the artists were getting ready for their art battle outside. I had to stay for another 20 minutes to watch them paint. They were on opposite sides of a white wall, so they couldn’t see each other’s work. @riiisaBoogie v. @theartalchemist, they both killed it! I prefer @theartalchemist’s style more, but it’s subjective. Check out the mini video of them on Runstreet’s page here.
Overall, I didn’t learn much of anything about art, but I got some great pics, I had fun, I had a shakeout run before my 10K, I got free food, AND I got to hang out with friends. Definitely a success.
I’m finally back from España! I already know what you’re thinking: this is not what I signed up for. This blog was entitled “Chicago.” That’s right, 3 weeks ago I was in Chicago, and then I went to Spain. My poor Long Legs are dying from sitting in these small airplane seats. My immune system doesn’t love me either. Planes are not comfortable or sanitary places. But enough about air travel, let’s talk about my new favorite American city: the Windy One.
For some reason, I’ve always had a feeling I would want to live in Chicago. Some part of my #sweatzilla self really gravitates to a place that is frigid 75% of the year. Also, it’s still a large metropolitan area with public transportation, but the cost of living is drastically lower than New York. Considering the amount of weddings I attend in a year, I always figured I would end up in Chicago for a ceremony, or a bachelorette party, or engagement party, or other extraneous wedding-related event that has left me in debt. But somehow I was 30 years old and I had never been to Chicago! I was excited when my work decided to have their annual conference in the Chicago suburbs because it meant my flight would be comped. However, Skokie, IL is not exactly Chicago, so I twisted my coworker’s arm and convinced her to stay downtown a few days after the convention to hang out with me and explore the city. Full story: she has two kids and I think she thanked me for requiring her to have a kid-less 2-day vaycay.
I won’t bore you with the specific details of my day-to-day activities, but I’ll give you the highlights. Starting with food, because duh.
FOOD
People say New York has amazing food, but Chicago is not far behind. We didn’t have much time (2 full days), but we tried to have one of everything. Obviously deep dish pizza came first. Everyone we asked had their own preference for their favorite deep dish place, but after 4 12-hour work days, we settled for the most famous place in Chicago that also happened to be across the street from our Air BNB: Giordano’s. #CheesePull photo on fleek. We all know Chicago is about hotdogs, too, so we couldn’t let our pizza be outshined by the classic Portillo’s hot dogs. And we were told by multiple people that a visit to Portillo’s would not be complete without a “cake shake.” Yes, this is what it sounds like: a chocolate shake with a legit piece of chocolate cake blended into it. It was so decadent that we weren’t able to finish it even sharing between two people. But do not fret, we walked a couple thousand more steps along Lake Michigan and the Magnificent Mile to make room in our stomachs for more food. The next stop was recommended to me by a friend from elementary school who happened to go to college in Chicago and is a huge foodie. I knew her recommendations could be trusted. She said, “go to XOCO, a Rick Bayless restaurant where they fry churros to order.” Say no more. O. M. G. these were so good. Plus, a little cup of chocolate to dip them in?! No words.
Dinner was also fantastic, and recommended to me by a local friend of mine. We went to La Sirena Clandestina, a Brazilian/latin place in a different, up-and-coming neighborhood of Chicago, Fulton Market. Google moved into the neighborhood a few years ago and brought a very Williamsburg-y market along with it. Along with the trendy techies come trendy chefs. And the food was FABULOUS. It helped that my friend knew the manager and they brought us PLATTERS of free steak and chorizo. I’m a sucker for anything free. But free and delicious? I was sold. Of course no dinner is complete without a post-dinner drink, so we went across the street to Swift & Sons and met up with another friend of mine who actually lives in New Jersey, but for some reason I hadn’t seen him in years. Nothing like a business trip hundreds of miles away to bring friends together!
CHEESE PULL!
Friends from the Northeast, in the Midwest!
A little dark, but still a good photo of my Chicago “in” in the restaurant biz!
HISTORY & INNOVATION
The coolest part of our business trip was a visit to 1871, a startup incubator and center for technology and entrepreneurship in Chicago. As part of our work convention, we took a field trip to their headquarters for a panel discussion on innovation and technology, and then a presentation from their CEO about the future. The company is named after the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, and about what happened afterward, when engineers, architects and inventors came together to build a new city. It was founded in 2012 to support Chicago’s digital startup community and it has become the hub for the city’s technology and entrepreneurial ecosystem. The actual office space is a huge, open-office 150,000 square foot facility. The technology of the office, even the water machines, are unparalleled. The talk from the CEO was enthralling, interesting, and a bit scary. He talked about how everything we know now is changing, and it’s changing quickly. I don’t really think of Chicago as a place of innovation or technology start-ups, but simply being in this space changed my mind.
The entire city’s history is based around the fire of 1871, but there is also a lot more. Coming off a trip to Spain, of course I realize America’s history is incredibly brief relative to any country in Europe, but it is still interesting to see history of my own country’s cities. After the work convention, my coworker and I went on a free walking tour in Chicago, where our guide was a spunky, awesome girl in her late 20’s with a passion for Chicago. She showed us sites all around “The Loop” including theaters, old department stores, street art and sculptures created specifically by artists for Chicago. She also showed us the beginning (and end!) of Historic Route 66. We ended our tour at The Bean, aka Cloud Gate, because of course, and she taught us how it was supposed to look like a drop of mercury. Makes sense!
SEGWAYS
Segway everywhere!! There’s only one thing I love more than Segways: introducing other people to my love of Segways. I forced my coworker to take a Segway tour because I found an awesome deal on Groupon. She loved it! Who wouldn’t?! We went on a 2-hour tour of downtown Chicago, where we rode past Soldier Field and learned about its history as a National Historic landmark, we went by the Shedd Aquarium and learned about the oldest captive fish, 90-Something-Year-Old Granddad, who died last year, and we went by the Field Museum. Our tour guide was awesome, and he told us about the more than 8,000 acres of public parks (more than 8% of the city!). But the best part of a Segway tour is always the Segways. I love those things. I obviously did not follow our guide’s instructions and took plenty of selfies/selfie videos while in motion (big no-no). I also gave at least 10 high fives to pedestrians as I rolled by. I can’t wait for my next Segway opportunity! And our guide was fab at photo-taking. Check it out below, #NoFilter!
Chicago was a slamming success, but I had to go home to do laundry and prepare for Spain. #FirstWorldProblems. More about that trip later!
Welcome to the first installment of Recaps for #SoreLegsLongDistance, the road to 9+1. If you’re already lost, you probably didn’t read the introductory post. Go click on that link then come back here. Ok, are you back? Good. This isn’t a purely running blog, so I promise not to bore you with mile-by-mile recaps, like I did for the Half Marathon last year. Instead, I will do a quick 2-3 paragraph recap, in installments of 3. Plus one for my “plus one.” See what I did there?
I will try not to be that corny the whole time. Since this is a personal blog, I’m taking you all along on this personal journey of mine. There are sure to be “sore legs,” “long distances,” and probably some sprained ankles. But that didn’t look cool in the hashtag. So far, I am 5 races in, but I’ll stay true to my promise of not boring you by only writing about 3 at a time. Oh, and I promise lots of photos. I know that’s what y’all are here for anyway. Selfies of me in my race shirt with a bagel/apple/cup of water in my mouth. I will not disappoint.
Gridiron Date: February 4th Location: Central Park Distance: 4 miles Pace: 9:16
I expected this race to be cold, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought in February. After the Midnight Race, I was expecting frigid temps but I was able to wear my long-sleeved free New Balance shirt, as previously planned for all of my 9+1 races, and I was ok. The race course itself is what most runners call the “middle 4,” or, the middle 4 miles of Central Park. It almost always starts on the east side, with the biggest hill of the course, Cat Hill. From that point, it’s mostly smooth sailing until mile 3, when you think you may die again. The best part of the middle 4, is that the final mile is almost completely downhill. It lets you settle into a good cadence and finish strong. It’s always a good feeling to cross the finish line thinking you are going faster and stronger than the previous mile.
I was happy with my pace for this one, plus, because it was the Gridiron, on Superbowl Sunday, you get to run in a lane at the end to say who you want to win the big game. OBVIOUSLY I chose the Eagles, because nobody like the Patriots, and also because my parents live in Philly, and also because I love a good underdog story. We all know how that turned out (Fly Eagles Fly!) Race Success!
Pre-Race Corral Selfie.
The first and last time I was brave enough to take a pic IN MOTION. On Cat Hill.
Post-race, snacks in the mouth ASAP!
Washington Heights Salsa, Blues & Shamrocks Date: March 4th Location: Washington Heights & The Cloisters Distance: 5K (3.1 miles) Pace: 9:30
I had planned to train a bit more and run between the Gridiron and this race, but you know what they say about the best laid plans. I showed up to this race without having run even once since the February race. Luckily, it was only 5K distance. Unluckily, the entire course was hills. So. Many. Hills.
The course was beautiful, and I had never been to the Cloisters, so I got to see a bit of that beautiful scenery. It was nice to get out of Central Park, even though it is much less convenient for me. It was fun to ride the C train north that morning, where we picked up more race participants at every stop. It felt like a private NYRR shuttle!
Again, I ran wearing the long sleeve shirt NYRR gave for free with the race registration and again I was pleasantly surprised with the weather. I ran into a few friends from Runstreet Art Runs, which is always fun. There were people running up and down the streets warming up, but I was content hanging out chatting with friends. Maybe that is why I never run in the 8-min mile pace.
I waited for my friend to arrive, who lives around the corner, so she showed up with 30 seconds to spare. We started running together, but then I went ahead a bit. I decided not to wear headphones because it was supposed to be a Salsa & Blues Race, with bands playing music along the course. Unfortunately there were only two spots with bands, but it was fun to run without music, and take in the spectators.
With about one mile left, there was a woman standing next to the course screaming “only two more big hills then you are home free.” I wanted to punch that woman in the face. I did not want any more big hills. Not one, and definitely not two.
The best part of this race was after it was over. My friend lives in the neighborhood, and it was her birthday, so we went out to celebrate at El Malecon, an AMAZING Dominican restaurant with the best rotisserie chicken you’ll have in your life. It was delicious and I rolled myself out of there, completely forgetting that I had run a race.
Pre-Race Corral Selfie, with the birthday girl who arrived at the LAST MINUTE.
Post-Race, multiple cups of water.
Post-Race SNAX.
Boomer’s Cystic Fibrosis Run to Breathe Date: April 8th Location: Central Park Distance: 4 miles Pace: 9:05
Another race, another “middle 4” in Central Park. I actually ran twice between the last race and this one, so I was determined to do better. Not only did I run faster, but I felt like I could have run even faster! I was a bit disappointed at the end because I felt I could have pushed harder, and gotten into the 8-min-mile-range club. I think the swimming cross-training really helped with tackling the hills. The good news is, I had another running partner buddy! My friend Amanda ran this race with me, so I had someone to hang out with in the corral.
This race was much colder than expected. Possibly even colder than the February and March races. Unfortunately, NYRR must have been thinking “April Race… short sleeves.” I had already made the commitment to run in the free shirts I get, so I froze to death. I had the forethought to wear gloves, at least. At the beginning of the race, I did not see one other person wearing the t-shirt without another layer underneath. I guess I am a trendsetter. By mile three, everyone was shedding layers and I was finally comfortable. 3 down, 6 to go!
Pre-Race Friend Corral Selfie!
FINISH LINE!
Post-Race SNAX, as always.
Total Miles To Date: 11.1
Average Pace To Date: 9:17
Total Free Tshirts To Date: 3
Total Selfies With Post-Race Treats In My Mouth: Too Many To Count.
Well, not to me me, but to LongLegsBigCity! Yesterday was the one year post-iversary of my very first blog entry, Tips for NYC Living. Not only is it my post-iversary, but this is my 100th post on my blog! It seems like yesterday that I was watching WordPress tutorials on YouTube all day every day, trying to figure out how to get something I wrote up on the internet for all to see. In my original welcome post to my blog, I told you what my blog would NOT be (a health, fashion, travel, dating, legal advice blog), and I have mostly stuck to those things. I am still figuring out exactly what my blog is, but so far it has been a mix of everything that makes me, me! LongLegsBigCity, a blog about my NYC problems, my life, my explorations of new fitness studios, and a few serious pieces.
I am officially at 84 blog subscribers, and I have even figured out how to make a weekly RSS newsletter using Mailchimp (this is why you need to subscribe, guys! Don’t you want to see my hilarious weekly TBT pics!? Put your email address in that annoying popup box when you go to my site!). So far, I have not achieved my ultimate goal for the blog: my dream of being discovered as a super funny, witty, hilarious, young female writer. If you know anyone at Betches, NY Mag, or any other publications, HOOK ME UP! Tell them how cool I am and how I can write about anything from 6-figure student loan debt to How to Be a Professional Wedding Guest.
I have tried to increase my social media presence (not many of you even thought this was possible), and I now have a LongLegsBigCity Twitter, Instagram, Spotify, and even Goodreads. Not all 84 of my subscribers have been with me all year, so as a celebration of my one year of blogging, and in commemoration of my 100th post, I wanted to recap my first year. I’ll even include some internal links in case you missed something you wish you hadn’t, or if you want to reread about my all-time favorite NYC Ice Cream in preparation for a trip to the big apple. I have recently added share buttons to each of my posts so you can share them on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or by email (or print them, for those technologically challenged among us). Please feel free to share and spread the word. I love to write, which is why I started this baby blog to begin with, but I love it more when I get feedback! Thank you all for reading and for supporting me in this side project of mine. I appreciate you all!
The blog started with a bang. I decided to start with a list post about my Tips for NYC Living. Then, I shifted gears to talk about the biggest thing that was happening in my life: Half Marathon Training. I wanted to complete a half marathon before I turned 30, and my training was sidelined when I sprained my ankle weeks before the race. I still managed to finished, and posted yet another list post about my stream of consciousness thoughts as I ran 13.1 miles on a bum ankle. As you may have recently read, I have 2 healthy-ish ankles now and I am on a NEW quest to complete a FULL marathon by the end of 2019. Fingers Crossed! My half marathon posts got some of the most comments I ever received on my blog. Maybe that the real reason I decided to run a full…
In May, I talked a bit about my birthday, being a Gemini and about trying to get in control of my finances. Personally, I loved writing about trying to use mint.com. Surprise, I’m still using it religiously. Surprise, I’m still not saving any more money. HA!.
Then the real fun began when I decided I would eat at 30 different ice cream places in 30 days for my 30th birthday. This quest became known as #30Years30IceCreams, a hashtag that continues to live on in infamy
Happy Birthday to me!
So. Much. Ice. Cream.
I made the reveal announcement on May 11th and then I posted weekly recaps throughout the rest of the month (1, 2, 3), going into June. These posts became reallllyyy long and unwieldy. I had a ranking system, I had reviews, I had external links, and I had so many pictures. TBH I think most people just scrolled through the text for the pics.
June 2017 – Mommy’s Girl, Ex-Lawyer, Ex-Jew, OkCupid, Travel and MORE ICE CREAM!
Wow, I did a lot of posting in June. It must have been a slow time at work! After the unwieldy posts about ice cream (those took SO MUCH TIME to write!), I started to get into the vibe of writing more about myself. I wrote about being Jew-ish (amazing throwback pics in that one), and I wrote another stream of consciousness post on my 2nd anniversary with emoji bf, about my thoughts on our first date. I loved writing that one, and I got the most comments! My favorite part of that post was finding the perfect emoji to put on his face for each photo. I traveled to Montreal with emoji-man for our anniversary, and I took my first stab at travel-blogging. In retrospect, I think I wrote a little too much. I tried to work on that for later posts. But if you’re interested in Montreal, check it out!
Some people may think my most useful post was published in June, about Drinking in New York without breaking the bank. And then of course, MORE ICE CREAM! The Scooper Bowl, Week 4, and the final summary. Check out the summary for my favorite ones! I consumed all those calories so you didn’t have to. Speaking of calories, June is the first time I did a review of fitness studio, 305 Fitness. This became a trend. More fitness reviews coming in the future!
Also, I posted about my borderline-obsessive communication with my mom. I call her every day. And/or text. And/or email. And/or tag her on Facebook. She still wants to guest-blog for me at some point. Stay tuned!
Most importantly, I posted my first blog about being a “Recovering Attorney,” and why I always advise everyone I know to avoid law school at all costs. And the costs are high. Like hundreds of thousands high. This remains my 2nd most popular post of all time, with 245 views. Feel free to share it with your friends, and not share it with your enemies if you wish 6-figure debt on them.
July 2017 – Summer in NYC, Travel, and more Fitness Reviews
In July, I started to get into real blogs about things happening in my life, from working in a construction zone, to rainy days in NYC, to super, super hot subway cars. Here’s what I found: people didn’t really care. People tended not to read these, at least according to my site analytics. I’m not sure what that says about me or my life; either I’m boring, or people just DGAF. Or maybe people didn’t know I was hilarious yet. I’m hilarious, right? Maybe now that they know, they’ll click back and read them. Probably not.
I had a few more reads on my travel posts, maybe because I wrote a bit less than that first post in Montreal, and focused on the big events on my trips. Also, I’m pretty sure EVERYONE loves looking at ridiculous photos of me on Segways. I went to Traver’s Island for the 4th of July, I went to DC for a wedding, AND I went down the shore in New Jersey. Busy month.
I also continued with reviews of fitness classes. I went to The Dance and Orangetheory in July. More importantly, I introduced the world to my addition: my Fitbit. It goes everywhere with me. It did in July and it still does now.
August 2017 – Full Time Slavery, Fitness, and STUDENT LOANS
I started the month of August in Pennsylvania, helping my mom rehab after her hip replacement surgery. I lovingly called my post about my time there “My Life as a Full Time Slave.” This post had a surprising amount of views. I secretly think this is because half of my 84 subscribers are my mom’s friends. I’m semi-positive of this. My mom is my biggest fan, after all. She comments on almost all of my posts!
She was up and walking around with a cane one week after surgery!
August brought more fitness posts, including a review of my all-time favorite spin studio in NYC, Peloton. Although this was the first time I mentioned Peloton, it was not the last, and I’m sure there are even more to come. I also talked about how to join a gym for free, and about a free rooftop class I attended in NYC. Free is my favorite price. Another trend on my blog. Why? Because of my student debt.
The most important post of the month was the beginning of my exposé about my student loans. To date, this is the most read post I have ever written. I spent months thinking about possibly talking about my loans, but I was embarrassed about it. I waffled back and forth for a few weeks and surveyed some friends to see if they would be interested in reading it. Ultimately, they all said yes, but I was still scared to talk about it. After some introspection, I decided that was the perfect way to start the conversation. Why was I so embarrassed? Why was I scared to speak about it? Doesn’t everyone have loans? Clearly people related to my story, or at least empathized; it has 279 views!
September 2017 – New York on 9-11, Park City, and MORE student loans
September began in a very New York Fashion, with a mystery date pulled off seamlessly by emoji boyfriend, including a hotel room overlooking the Freedom Tower, the night before 9-11. I talked about our date, and what it’s like to live in NYC every year on this somber day.
Check out that view!
Emoji-man did well.
I also recapped some September travel; I was a busy bee! I went to Florida and Park City, Utah, where I stayed in the coolest house I’ve ever been in. I also continued my saga about student loans, and I actually revealed the amount of money I owe. Spoiler alert, it’s more than $100K. GASP. Pause for heart defibrillation. I wrote another post about how this massive debt hanging over my head affects my decisions, everything from whether to get Starbucks, to when or if I can ever think about having children. It was a heavy month.
October 2017 – Fitness & Spotify, Finale of Student Loan Saga, and Halloween/Costuming Madness
I started the month with some light-hearted content (to take a break from that student-loan-downer-crap) about fitness classes. I tried BollyX for the first time, and I had a participant in my Spin class make a playlist and be my guest DJ for the night. I also introduced my readers to my Spotify for the first time. Follow me if you want two amazing playlists every week! Hint: My username is LongLegsBigCity.
I finally finished my student loan memoir by talking about how I am trying to pay them off. I provided some practical tips, but more than anything I just told my story. Take it or leave it. It’s my blog and I’ll write if I want to.
October would not be complete without at least 4 posts about my favorite holiday of the year: HALLOWEEN!! Most likely I will post 2-3 times about Halloween every year, in perpetuity. This year, I wrote a poem the night before the Halloween Pub Crawl, I wrote about the crawl itself, I wrote about an adventure upstate to the Great Jack-O-Lantern Blaze, AND I wrote about my all-time favorite pastime: DIY costuming. Are we cute? DUH.
So cute.
November 2017 – Marathon Sunday, Macy’s Parade, and moreeee weddings
November is the month of my 3 favorite events of the year, Marathon Sunday, the VS Fashion Show, AND the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. If you think I’m kidding about that last one, you don’t know me, or you haven’t been following this blog very carefully. This year, I posted not 1, not 2, but THREE times about Thanksgiving and the Macy’s Parade. I wish I could promise you I wouldn’t do it again, but like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie.
Thanking NYPD <3 For a safe race!
Even Emoji BF was there for the fun!
Cheering on the stragglers!
Picked up the sister!
Gold Stars for the first time in memory. Merry Christmas!
November was also all about weddings. I attended 2, in 2 different states (neither of them was New York), and I posted about my trip to Durham, North Carolina as well as another great list post of my tips on how to be a Professional Wedding Guest. And I am one. It must be true, it’s in my Instagram Bio.
Church Wedding.
Beach Wedding.
Outdoor Nature Preserve Wedding.
Emoji BF clearly LOVES a good photobooth.
December 2017 – Winter/Christmas in NY, #MeToo and New Year Resolutions
Winter finally arrived, so I posted about the first NYC snow, the magic that comes along with it, and the piles of sludge and yellow snow that come after it. I also wrote about an NYC staple: Christmas at Rolf’s.
I tackled my first serious post since my student loan saga when I posted about My Worst First, one of my many #MeToo experiences. This was my 4th-most viewed post, and it was another one I was initially afraid to post. Being vulnerable on the internet is a scary thing, but ultimately I think people enjoy reading it, whether it is to secretly troll me or because they actually relate to my stories and appreciate them because they make people feel less alone. I prefer to think it is the second reason. Speaking of trolls, I got a NOT-so-secret one on that post that was nasty and I did not approve his comment. I was semi-honored to have a troll at all though, not gonna lie.
I closed out the year by talking about resolutions, both my general thoughts about them, and my personal resolutions. Stay tuned this year to see if I followed through!
January 2018 – Midnight Run, West Coast Travels, and Moving Saga
My year began with a bang. A very, very, very cold bang. I ran the Midnight Race in Central Park in temperatures lower than 20 Fahrenheit. This run inspired me to start signing up for races again, and led to my decision to embark on 9+1, the road to the TCS New York marathon, which I did not actually write about until two days ago.
My month was dominated by two huge events: a west coast trip to Seattle and Vancouver to visit my best friend, and trying to find a place to live in New York. Yes, it was difficult to do both of those things simultaneously. I was worried we would be homeless. Spoiler Alert: we are not. I also was worried that our old, TERRIBLE leasing company would swindle us out of thousands of dollars. Spoiler Alert: They did not, but they sure tried to. I used that Esq. after my name in every dang email I sent. It was a veritable saga.
Very. Very. Very. Cold Race.
Everyone loves a good Segway Pic.
February 2018 – Moving, West Coast Ice Cream, and Sara Bareilles in Waitress on Broadway
February was a crazy busy month for me between moving (we found a place, YAY!) and a 10-day work trip to California. I posted about the horrific experience of moving in NYC, as well as a quick west coast edition of #30Years30IceCreams. It had been almost 8 months since I talked about ice cream, I knew you guys missed it.
March 2018 – Reading, SoulCycle, and My Missing IUD
I wrote a 3-part series about reading, which is what I am usually doing when I’m not writing. I am addicted to Goodreads, where you can follow me and read along.
Although I only posted a few times in March, I wrote two of my top 10 posts during this month. First, I wrote about another personal saga, when my IUD disappeared inside my uterus. I guess I decided that there is no such thing as boundaries for me.
Lastly, I posted about my hatred for SoulCycle. I got another troll comment! I really made it!
We made it! We finally got to the current month. If you have read this whole recap, you are a real, true, LongLegsBigCity fan. Hi, Mommy! I think it’s just you and me, now. I can’t wait for your comment!
This month I talked about old people and technology (with a special shoutout to my mom), and I began my 9+1 journey with you on my way to the TCS NYC Marathon aka #SoreLegsLongDistance.
I hope you all continue to follow along on this blogging side hustle of mine in 2018 and beyond. I appreciate all of your reads, and I absolutely LOVE getting comments! I promise to reply to each of you. Until I get super, crazy famous, that is, and there are just wayyy too many to reply to. Considering I still don’t have 100 subscribers, and my mom is usually the only one who comments, I can probably keep this promise for a while.
If anyone wants to get me a cake for my 1-year-blog-iversary, I won’t say no. Or ice cream.
Over the weekend, I went to the Holi party. According to the almighty Wikipedia, Holi also known as the “festival of colors”, is an Indian and Nepali spring festival celebrated all across the Indian subcontinent as well as in countries with large Indian subcontinent diaspora populations. In case you decided to fact-check me and google the holiday yourself, you’d probably find out very quickly that it was actually a month ago, on March 20. However, New Yorkers love any excuse to party, and you can find Holi celebration all the way through May, including a supposedly epic festival on Governor’s Island on May 12. Unfortunately, I have a serious case of first world problems, and I will be in Spain for that one, so I had to celebrate early/late.
In case you got all the way through that first paragraph without actually googling this holiday, you’re probably still lost. Basically, Holi is a playful cultural event and an excuse to throw colored water at friends or strangers in jest. There is religious and cultural significance, as well as many other rituals and traditions, but in New York City, this mostly translates into partying, drinking, dancing and getting very very messy. I like all of those things.
This was my 4th NYC Holi celebration. I am not Indian or Nepali, but I consider myself a bit of an expert at this point. Here’s what I’ve learned, in a quick list of Dos and Don’ts:
DO Wear White. The whole point here is to throw color and be colorful. It shows up best when you’re wearing white. Makes sense.
Do Get a Fanny Pack. I’m not kidding. I got an awesome metallic one on Amazon for 12 dollars. Worth every penny. I’ve already used it twice. Fanny packs are trending again. You heard it here first (and everywhere else). You’ll need somewhere to stash your stuff, and you won’t want to ruin a good purse.
SO WHITE! Not for long.
Check out my Fanny Pack! (And my no-long-er-white clothes)
DO Take Photos Before You Arrive. It’s the last time your clothes will be white. (See next bullet below.) It’s fun to compare.
DON’T Wear Clothes You Plan to Wear Ever Again. I really mean this. Buy cheap white stuff, and plan to throw it away. Even with bleach, your clothes will most likely have a pinky bluey tinge to them. Another option, keep them for the next year’s Holi party! Designated white(-ish) outfit. Personally, I have a pair of capris I have kept for a few years. They are never going to be white-white again. I also purchased a 3XL tank top at Old Navy this year for $2.97 and ripped it and tied it in the back. Then I got a bralette on sale in black. It still looks black so I think I can wear it again. So fiscally savvy.
DO Pregame. I have talked about the almighty powers of the pregame before. It is 100% necessary for Holi for two reasons: 1. It’s way more fun to be messy and not care about being touched and dirtied by strangers when you are slightly inebriated. 2. Drinks are expensive there and I’m poor. A well drink goes for about $11. This year, I hosted my two friends at my place for a pre-party and brunch. I cooked French toast (for the very first time… and it was actually delicious!) and we had cucumber vodka & sodas. By the time we left, I was feeling fab!
Additional tip I snuck in there, eat something first! Bread is key to staying strong and fighting through crowds for the color bins.
DO Sneak in Booze. Other ways to not pay exorbitant money for booze: BYOB. After our French toast brunch & pregame, we headed to the liquor store to stock up. I hid a few mini bottles in the back pocket of my fanny pack. Warning: make sure to hide these anywhere that is NOT the main pocket. They do check bags and unfortunately a friend of mine got her bottles taken! Other option, drink them in the Uber on the way there and don’t let the driver see.
DO Put Your Cell Phone in A Ziploc Bag. You’ll want photos. But you’ll probably also want to use your phone again. Speaking of…
DO Take a Million Pics. With everyone you can find.
Yes new friends. They knew how to dress to avoid powder.
CREW.
Skyline on fleek.
Ran into a friend!
DON’T Think It’s a Good Idea to Make a Snow Angel in Colored Dye.
Or do. It all depends on how long you want your body to be all the colors of the rainbow. I am currently 3 days post-Holi, innumerable minutes in the shower, and my underarms are still blue. You can see this in the photo.
DON’T Be Afraid to PUSH PEOPLE TO GET TO THE COLOR BINS. This is like pushing small children aside to get the best view of the Macy’s Parade. It may not be a pleasant experience, but it’s always worth it. The way the color works is, they have people working for the event, and the periodically come out of a side door carrying bins of powdered color. The first thing you MUST do when you arrive is FIND that hidden side door. This must be done even before finding the bar. The bar is unnecessary anyway, since you’ll be packin’ your own booze. Once you find the secret door, set up shop to dance around and wait. Your prep work will pay off. You’ll be the most colorful ones there. It will be PACKED. Do not be discouraged.
DO Wear the Sunglasses They Provide. There will be so much color dust. In your ears for days. In your nose for days. On your clothes. In all crevices you didn’t even realize were uncovered. Don’t let it get in your eyes. My friend who went with me had to throw away her contact lenses! Luckily I wear dailies. Shade your eyes.
Get those sunnies!
Are we cute? Duh.
All Smiles. And powder in our mouths.
DO Try to Give Your Friends Piggyback Rides, the Do Prepare to Fail. There is a lot of booze involved and the powder is slippery.
Going…
Going…
Going…
SUCCESS!!
DO Dance All Day to Bollywood Music. I got over 10,000 steps from dancing! It’s better than the gym.
DO Sign Up Again Next Year. Sometimes they have discount codes for return customers! I can’t wait for next year. Now I have a handy checklist to prepare, and you do, too!
2 days post-Holi. Still Blue. Also note my sneakers in the shower. Trying to clean them.
I am in the middle of 9+1. 9+1… what?? You may ask. But no, this is not an adjective, it’s a noun. 9+1 is a right of passage. A task. A goal. A triumph. A calling. Maybe not that last one.
In short, 9+1 is a journey to the TCS NYC Marathon. I have always wanted to run the NYC Marathon. Ok, not always, but for the 8 years I’ve lived in New York. I love Marathon Day. I have written extensively about it on my blog. I love waking up early to watch coverage on TV. I’m currently live-streaming the Boston Marathon at my desk! I lovee to watch and I love being a spectator. I love making signs, I love cheering people on. And I love the idea of running through the 5 boroughs of my city, with the streets closed to traffic, and thousands of my fellow residents cheering each other on in a feat that pushes your body to the brink of disaster. I never wanted to run a marathon. But I always wanted to RUN NEW YORK. Here’s the issue: It’s impossible to get in.
There are a few ways to get into the largest marathon in the world, and there are fewer ways now than there were before. Here are your choices to subject yourself to 26.2 miles of pain and agony.
Lottery! I have tried this for years. 5 to be exact. I never get in. Cue the fb status about losing the lottery, then cue the many people who think they are hilarious in commenting about whether you are really “losing” or “winning” by not getting to run 26.2 miles. There are actually three separate lotteries, depending on where you live. The one for NYC residents is notoriously impossible to win. I considered waiting to run it until I moved out of New York, but that seemed counterintuitive.
3 strikes and you’re in. If you apply to the lottery and lose 3 years in a row, you get in. This rule was thrown out because too many people were denied entry for many years.
Repeat Runners. Runners who finish their 15th New York City Marathon will continue to be eligible for guaranteed entry in future years. These people are crazy.
Time qualify: For women in my age group, this means finishing a half marathon in 1:32. If you read about my only Half Marathon last year, you’d know I was not even close.
Ask your friends and family for a buttload of money to give to charity, all so you can run. You need to raise at least $2,500, but some charities may require more. I’m not a fan of this. Both the asking, and the giving so that I can do something crazy to my body, possibly injure myself, then blame my friends and family for sponsoring me. Not an option.
That leaves the 6th and final option: Become a member of the New York Road Runners for a full year, complete at least nine NYRR-scored, qualifying races, and volunteer for one. If you really hate volunteering, NYRR gives you an option to donate $1,000 to NYRR’s youth and community services programs instead.
I opted to do the 9+1 volunteer option, because A. I’m poor and B. I’m poor. Also, after running so many NYRR races, I was tempted to check out what it was like from the other, volunteer side. Who are these crazy people standing in the freezing cold, in fluorescent vests, handing me cups of water? Turns out I am one of those people. In fact, I just completed my “+1” over the weekend, and I promise to write a full blog entry about that soon.
But more on the 9 part of the 9+1. I mentioned I was poor (in fact, I think I mentioned it multiple times), but each one of these races cost money. Not to mention, even if you complete the 9+1, you still need to pay for the actual marathon entry, which is about $250. The 9+1 is just to received guaranteed entry. Before I embarked on this journey, I did my research. i.e. I read some blogs about how much this thing would actually cost me. Answer: A lot.
But there was a method to my madness. I did some planning to try and save money, save my muscles, and also save some sweat.
First, I had to become a NYRR member. I have been a member for years, so I renewed my membership for $40. Luckily, each race has a discounted price for members, so I took advantage of that. Also, I tried to be smart about my races by signing up early, and getting in on early bird pricing. Usually, early bird only saves about $5-$10, but when you multiply that by 9, it adds up! Longer races cost more money, which makes sense since they include more support staff, more security, and also sometimes a medal! I tried to cut down on costs by picking SHORT races. I also tried to cut down on blisters and sore muscles that way. I have already signed up for my 9+1 (early bird gets the worm!), here’s my racing schedule, distance, and cost. I set up a handy chart:
Date
Race
Distance
Price
1
2/4/2018
Gridiron
4 miles
$23.00
2
2/24/2018
Al Gordon Brooklyn
4 miles
$23.00
2
3/4/2018
Washington Heights Salsa, Blues, and Shamrocks
5K
$31.00
3
4/8/2018
Boomer’s Cystic Fibrosis Run to Breathe
4 miles
$23.00
4
4/22/2018
Run as One
4 miles
$23.00
5
4/29/2018
UAE Healthy Kidney
10K
$23.00
6
6/3/2018
Italy Run by Ferrero
5 miles
$23.00
7
6/9/2018
New York Mini
10K
$35.00
8
6/23/2018
Front Runners New York LGBT Pride Run
5 miles
$23.00
9
8/25/2018
Percy Sutton Harlem
5K
$30.00
TOTALS
40.6 miles
$257.00
So far I am at $257 in race entry fees, and $40 in annual membership fees. And of course that does not even touch on the amount of money spent on sneakers and carb-loading. 3 days of pasta prep are needed for a 3 mile race, right? Isn’t that why we really run?
This may seem like a lot of money to some people, but in New York, a workout class can easily run you $40 a pop. If you divide that total figure by $40, it’s really only 6 classes at Barry’s Bootcamp or SLT. Not bad considering you get a free shirt (or gloves, or other paraphernalia) each time!
I hate running when it is hot outside. therefore, I tried to front-load my races for the year to be during the cooler months. However, I worried about running out of races as the year comes to a close. The races tend to fill up and sell out as the year progresses, mostly due to thousands of 9+1-ers like me. Also, I worried that I would injure myself and not be able to finish off my 9 races. That is how I ended up running 3 races in June. Sweatzilla in full effect. I will definitely be stopping at all fluid stations for those babies. Thank you in advance to the volunteers handing me water!
You may have noticed one of my races on my chart was crossed off. I may have forgotten it was a Saturday race and slept straight through it. When I woke up with my alarm notifying me that the race was starting in 10 minutes, and I was in my bed in Manhattan and the race was in Brooklyn… no amount of hustle would have gotten me there on time. Especially with the state of the MTA on weekends. That was $23 down the drain. I’ll consider it my donation to New York Roadrunners.
Let’s get to the important things: hashtags and social media.
I am lucky enough to know someone who ran the marathon last year, and is very witty with words. Also, her fiancé is great with words. They came up with my hashtag: #SoreLegsLongDistance. If you search on Instagram, you can follow along with my journey! Also, I always add #NewGoalNewHashtag. This may be wayyyy less fun than #30Years30IceCreams, but I will definitely earn my ice cream along the way.
I decided that for photographic consistency purposes, I would run every race in the swag that I get with my race entry. That means that although I own enough lululemon gear to outfit a small army of runners, you will see me every race in my New Balance NYRR shirts! I even ran the last race in the short-sleeved shirt they gave me, despite it being 30 degrees. Clearly NYRR ordered their swag before they checked Mother Nature’s plan to continue the winter all the way into the summer.
I try to take a selfie at the start line before each race, or an ussie if I have a running buddy. Watch on Instagram for all of my selfies with water and apples and bagels at the finish line.
I won’t bore you with step by step recaps of each race; there are a lot of them! However, I’ll post a recap of my races after I’m done with 3, so you can follow along. This means I’m already behind and I better post my first recap soon! 3+1 down, 6 to go!
It has been EXACTLY one full year, to the day, since I posted by first entry on my blog (annual recap coming soon!). It’s finally time to tell you what my day job is. No, I do not teach fitness classes all day long, although it seems that way sometimes. In fact, all day long I help old people with technology. Yes, that’s right, all I do all the live-long day is sit at a desk for 9 hours and tell people how to reset their passwords and send emails. That is not technically my job description, but in reality, I spend 80% of my day doing this.
It seemed like a topical moment to bring up my career in light of the Mark Zuckerberg Congressional Hearings. Today is his second day before the Senate, and as CNN noted yesterday, he was saved from any and all hard-hitting questions due to one salient fact: old people just don’t get Facebook.
One poignant moment:
Senator: “How do you sustain a business model in which users don’t pay for your service?”
We all know the feeling. We’ve seen grandparents post private messages as Facebook statuses, not realizing the world would see it. Or we’ve seen parents try to check in with their kids by posting on their Facebook wall. Esurance even made an infamous commercial about old people not understanding Facebook, and that was 3 years ago! In the commercial, a (slightly less) old person tells the older person, “That’s not how it works! That’s not how any of this works!”
I wasn’t the least bit surprised by the lack of understanding by Congress. After all, this is what I do all day. Am I exaggerating? I WISH.
Let me begin with a quick story about my mom. No offense. When I was growing up, I think I showed her how to insert, save to, and eject, a floppy disk 10+ times. I was in middle school. At the time, I couldn’t believe her ineptitude. I say to my younger self now, “you were the idiot, your mom is a tech genius.” Compared to other old people, that is.
And it’s true. My mom is great with technology now. She texts, she sends photos, she emails from her phone, she even knows how to post on Facebook from her phone. My dad recently got a new iphone from work and now he’s on Instagram. He is constantly showing up as “people you may know” for my friends. But that’s an entirely different problem.
I didn’t realize how great my parents were at technology until I realized how strikingly BAD other people are in comparison. Everything is relative.
Quick REAL story from my job. An old member of our organization called, lamenting that his password didn’t work. He said it was probably because “he was using an ipad” (!!). Of course. We get this call at least 10 times a day, and every time, it’s always our fault that they forgot their password. Or that our website “doesn’t work on a phone.” That is not a thing, by the way.
Anyway, this time, a newer coworker who fielded the call asked him if he could “send her a screenshot.” This is a normal request for a millennial. We all know how to press “print screen,” and send the photo in an email. But 80-year-olds do not understand this concept. However, the 80-year old agreed to send one. The whole office waited anxiously to see what we were going to receive. Was it going to be a hand-drawn sketch? Would he send it in the actual snail mail? Would it come through the fax machine? Does our fax machine even work? So many questions.
Approximately 10 minutes later, my coworker received an email with a photo attached. We were elated. Did he figure it out? Was it possible? Spoiler alert: it was not. He sent a thumbnail photo, with terrible resolution, probably taken from a Nokia flip phone, of a screen. You could ALMOST make out that it was an iPad, but you definitely could not see what was on the screen. Which, of course, was the entire point.
Now imagine trying to explain videoconferencing to the type of person who doesn’t understand a screenshot. It’s an adventure. Once you have finally explained to them that they need to have a camera on their computer, and that the screen itself does not just “see them,” you still need to explain the intricacies. Example taken verbatim from my Facebook status on September 2, 2016:
80-year-old: “I don’t see you! Do you see me? I only see a gray picture of a human. Not a real human.”
Me: “Yes I see you, I don’t have my camera on. I’ll invite my coworker so you can see him.”
80-y-o: “I SEE YOU! Wait, no, it’s a man. A very HANDSOME man but you SOUND like a young lady.”
Me: “Yes, I am still the gray picture of a human. Still don’t have a camera. That is my coworker.”
80-y-o: “Oh thank goodness, ok. I thought I needed new glasses.”
Another quick work story: Yesterday, another coworker asked for a member’s electronic signature. The member was baffled. What is an electronic signature? The coworker explained it is a photo of a signature, to be used in electronic documents, so it appears as if it was signed. The member explained that he works in such a small community, that he just signs everything by hand. Endearing. The world before the internet. Remember the days? Not really.
One more story from work. This one requires a bit of back-story. I work in a semi-open space. There are a few desks in my office “pod,” but one is behind a door that is usually open, and another in behind a cubicle wall. We often talk to each other on gchat, so we can speak to each other without making a sound. This especially comes in handy when we are on the phone. This week, I had a phone call where I was attempting to explain the process of registering to post a job on our website. This is a semi-difficult task for the technologically challenged (aka anyone over the age of 40), so I am used to explaining the process in a slow and clear fashion. This specific guy was really not getting it. All of a sudden, a gchat shows up from a coworker, “who are you speaking to? Are they deaf? Or 80 years old?” I guess I was being very slow. And loud. Oops.
Yet another story from work: We have a member who calls every week. He has no idea what his password is. In our office, we have a stock reset password we use. Let’s call it “123Abc.” This man calls once a week, without fail, and every time it’s because he “forgot his password” or his password “doesn’t work.” Meanwhile, every single member of our staff knows that his password is always “123Abc,” because he doesn’t know how to reset it from our stock password. And yet, every week like clockwork, he calls and asks us to reset his password, and every week we remind him what it is, and tell him we reset it, when really we know it is still the same from last time. Maybe he just likes talking to us.
I do think sometimes that these people call the office only because they are lonely, which is sad. Maybe my mom only calls me under the ruse that her weather widget “disappeared from her home screen of her cell phone,” when she really just misses me. Either way, I’m happy to chat with her and help her reinstall her apps. Every time I read an article, or see someone on TV talk about how millennials are “incompetent” or “not self-sufficient,” I will produce as evidence, this blog. It may be that I can’t change a tire. But I can gchat, video-conference, write a blog, post on Instagram, stream Netflix, AND scroll through twitter simultaneously. And I’m pretty darn good at explaining all of those things to 80-year-olds, as well. Maybe someday when I need to change my tire, there will be an elderly gentleman there to help me and return the favor.
Small Talk is easy in New York. That’s because there are two fail-safe things to talk about: the atrocity that is the MTA, and the weather. These two things are unavoidable. It is always necessary to step outside, and it’s pretty much always necessary to take public transportation. (Caveat: yes, there are some people who do not take the subway, but these are not people I find myself small-talking regularly or hobnobbing with.)
If you go to a party, it’s ALWAYS safe to talk about slow subways, or a 10-minute wait for a train during rush hour, and it’s ALWAYS safe to talk about the heat. Or the cold. Or the wind. Or the never-ending snow. If you hit the small-talk-lottery, maybe you have been lucky/unlucky, and on the day of a party you had both easy topics collide in the cosmic joke that is the Dante’s Inferno Subway Car. Heat + Subway trouble = what could be worse(/better to talk about)?
You already know why I’m writing this post today: because it’s April 2nd and yesterday was Easter and it’s SNOWING OUTSIDE. What in the world is this BS?
Am I happy about slopping through puddles of ice-cold water all day since I left all my boots, snow boots and all, at my parents’ house over the weekend? NO.
Am I happy about being splashed with slush/snow this morning by a passing truck? NO.
Am I happy about ruining my hair with falling possible-snow-possibly-something-much-worse? NO.
But am I happy about having something to talk about for another few months? YES. This late-in-the-season snow will provide small talk for months! In July, when we will no doubt be complaining about the heat, and our sweat will be traveling slowly down our backs in slow-rolling beads, we will remember this April snow, and we will have even more to complain about.
As I sit at my desk in my wet socks because I took off my wet shoes, with my wet coat hanging on a chair across the room, I am reminded of why I live in New York. JK, this is yet another thing that is terrible about New York. The good news is, the snow is supposed to stop within the hour, and then the temperature is supposed to go up. This means melting. So. Much. Melting. April Snow Brings April Melting Snow. Isn’t that how the saying goes? I hope you all have your rain boots ready. Good news is, it’ll give us something else to complain about!
See you all in about 6 weeks, when I can start to complain about the heat.
I hate SoulCycle. Hate is a strong word, but it is justified. When I say this to people, they often ask me why, to which I answer, “I could write a whole blog post about it.” Well, here you are.
Full Disclosure: I haven’t been to SoulCycle in a year, so some of these things may have changed, but I highly doubt it.
So why write about it now? I keep seeing the trailer for the movie I Feel Pretty where she falls and gets a concussion during SoulCycle, to which my first reaction was “they were clearly making her spin too fast while standing out of the saddle, which is why she fell. That should never happen.” But at SC it does. In fact, I’m not sure why SoulCycle has been promoting the movie on their own Instagram, given that the whole premise is that they let a participant do something incredibly unsafe on their watch.
Many things that shouldn’t happen, happen at SoulCycle. Here are just a few of the things that shouldn’t happen in a spin class. Not ironically, they are also the reasons I hate SC.
The Music.
Music is the main reason I like group fitness. I love working out while jamming to some great hip hop or singing along to the newest pop. It’s great to have the music blasting with the freedom of not wearing headphones. But at SoulCycle, you’ll never find yourself jamming or singing along. That’s because they only use remixes. Almost exclusively. I once talked to a friend who taught SC (no, I didn’t excommunicate him because he worked there), and he told me they encourage the instructors to use remixes and other obscure versions found on the cloud to give participants an experience they couldn’t replicate on their own. But what’s the fun in listening to a remix I don’t know?? Just when I’m about to jam to the chorus of I Wanna Dance With Somebody, there’s some techno bridge. No thank you. Give me the original any day.
The Bikes.
Guys, I teach for a YMCA. The bikes at my non-profit institution should not be drastically better than the ones where you pay $35/class for the privilege to ride on them. But they are. At the Y, our bikes are on lease, so we get a new version every 12-18 months. At SoulCycle, they just replaced the bikes last year (2017) for the FIRST TIME since they were founded in 2006. 11 years. That is mind-boggling to me. How they were selling 11-year-old technology at $35/class while Peloton has literal ipads and live-streaming on their bikes for less, is baffling. Especially in an age where the bubble of niche fitness is finally popping, and studios are reducing their prices, I couldn’t believe people would pay for that crap. The bikes made a lot of noise and the ride was the opposite of smooth.
Tapbacks.
These are dumb. The end.
Weights.
This has become customary in almost all niche cycling studios, but I still hate it. According to a Business Insider piece about why someone stopped going to SC (I guess I’m not alone!), a writer said SC got “a failing grade for exercise physiology and biomechanics” and that “the whole idea of working one’s upper body while pedaling a stationary bike is not only counterproductive,” he wrote, “it can be physically detrimental over time, according to several experts I talked to.” And from the same article, Jennifer Sage, a master-spinning instructor with a degree in exercise science wrote, “You’re probably going to burn less calories because your power output is going to drop.” I agree wholeheartedly. If you want to lift weights, go to a BodyPump class or to OrangeTheory where there is a dedicated section for weights.
The Color and the Smell.
I know you’re already thinking, “Wow this girl really hates this place. She has something to say about the smell?” But the smell is a thing. In fact, SC loves to open their doors to street and you can smell that grapefruit from a block away. It’s like Subway. Both the gross smell permeating from the subway TRAINS and the crazy bread smell permeating from the Subway SANDWICH spot. SC literally makes their own candle. Although I’m not sure who the hell would want to bottle that and put it in their home.
And the YELLOW. So. Much. Yellow.
YELLOW
The Heat.
It’s hot in there. Way. Too. Hot. They cram 65 bikes in a tiny room, and then they hold 45-minute classes back to back to back all day long. If you dare to go to an 8 pm class, that means there have already been 200+ people sweating in that room in the past 3 hours. Picture a locker room that is only 200 square feet, and then imagine 300 people working out in it. And sweating on each other. BARF. It does get you sweaty, I’ll give you that. But is the whole point of a fitness class just to sweat? I could do that in the sauna!
V SWEATY
THE SPEED.
They spin too fast. Plain and simple. I see SC instructors going 150 RPM EASILY in the saddle, or 140 when they are standing. One of the many things I like about Peloton (here I go again…) is that they advise never to go above 120 RPM. This is a safe speed for a sprint, while still maintaining some resistance on the bike. 150 v. 120 is a grave difference.
The Standing.
Why are you out of the saddle for 70-80% percent of the class? It’s a bike. You sit on the seat. You only stand to get more power, like if you are trying to get up the last part of a huge hill. Spinning was created to mimic outdoor rides, to help cyclists train on the off-season. Granted, a lot has changed since then, and people now ride in SC every week but have never set butt on an outdoor bike. And also, I understand there are some drills we now do in fitness classes that you’d never see outside (switchbacks and jumps, anyone?) But standing for 70% of a 45-minute class? Come on. Also, you can’t spin as fast as they say, while you’re standing, and keep a safe body position. In order to achieve the speed they want you to have, you need to have very little resistance on, as I said above. Add the fact that you’re standing and you’re setting yourself up for injury. Or a fall like in I Feel Pretty.
The Vibe.
SoulCycle thinks they are a yoga class. But they’re a spin class. They can’t decide though. One song you are sprinting at 140 RPM standing out of the saddle, and the next moment you are in the saddle, closing your eyes, because “this song is for you to focus on your inner strength.” Excuse me? I’m not closing my damn eyes in a spin class except to prevent sweat from getting in my contact lenses. According to their website, it’s “so much more than just a workout — it’s a powerful mind-body experience.” GTFO.
I didn’t realize this was a normal thing in SoulCycle. There are many articles online dedicated to “motivational” sayings from SC. Don’t get me wrong, I say motivational things in my own classes, but it’s more in the style of Robin Arzon from Peloton, “New Day, New Slay.”
Those DAMN CANDLES.
I know what you’re thinking. Candles? I thought we were talking about spinning! Well, there are candles. Two of them on either side of the instructor’s bike on the podium. WHY!?!??? Really though, why? This is not a séance. There is no Ouiji board here. We are not communing with the Gods here. We are sweating on each other in a too-hot room with not enough air conditioning.
But no, SOULCycle thinks that the addition of candles is necessary for our spiritual community. GTFO of here with that. At the end of class, about 3 songs from the end, the instructor moves the candles from the podium, and puts them in front of the first row. At my first SC class, I was in the front row (kill me), and the only thing I could think of was, “OMG I hope my sweat doesn’t drip off my face and onto this candle to put it out.” So of course I did what anyone would do, and adjusted my posture to a full standing position (we were out of the saddle again… OF COURSE), and put extra pressure on my knees and lower back, just to avoid sweating the candle out. I do not recommend this, but I was nervous! How embarrassing if the candle went out.
The only good thing about the candles is, 2 songs from the end, they blow the candles out, which creates a sulfur dioxide smell, which covers the disgusting sweat and locker room smell that permeates the room at this point in class. It’s like lighting a match to cover poop smells. It works. But only because the smell of burned candle wick covers the even worse smell of sweaty hot humidity.
I wish I could wrap up this blog by explaining why people still go to this class. There are 21 studios in the 5 boroughs alone. But I can’t explain it. I don’t get it! Feel free to try it out yourself and let me know what you think. But be prepared for a hot, non-productive 45-minutes, at a pretty-penny cost.
Spring Has Sprung!!! …Sorta. It’s the first day of Spring!! Tomorrow we are looking at the possibility of more than a foot of snow, and despite what the calendar says, this is our third straight week of nor’easters. One thing New Yorkers love to do is talk about the weather. Or rather, complain about the weather. I have barely had this blog for a year (1-year anniversary recap coming soon!), and I have already complained about Sizzlin’ Hot Summer AND Yellow Snow Winter. It’s only fair that I complain about Spring, too.
But I can’t really complain about Spring because it’s sort of the best. The only thing I can really complain about is that it usually lasts about 7 days here in New York. One thing everyone can agree about here in “the city,” is that people appreciate a good weather day. And for all 7 days of Spring, the city comes alive. Here are a few things New Yorkers do in Spring (assuming it ever comes…)
Smile. This is rare for New Yorkers. It mostly only happens the week before Christmas, when you can’t help but feel the magic of the city, and for the 7 days of spring, when we are not trying to warm our freezing numb fingers, and also not sweating through a thin layer of clothing on a sweltering subway. Which brings me to my next thing.
Go Outside. The 7 days of spring are when you realize just how many people are living on this tiny, 13-mile-long strip of land. The city comes alive. Central Park is BUZZING.
Look at Flowers. As I said above, we don’t get much good weather. A majority of our year is spent looking at dead trees and empty branches. But in spring, the city comes out to literally stop and smell the roses. There is the epic Macy’s Flower Show that fills all of Herald Square, and there are other community gardens throughout the city. When I went to the tulip festival on the Upper West Side last year, it was PACKED.
Work Out Outside. This goes together with the one above, but it’s different. New Yorkers are fit. Not as fit as our west-coast counterparts (or Chicago ones in this popular article from the week), but we need to keep it tight to go up and down all of those subway stairs! Spring is the perfect time to take our extremely expensive boutique fitness classes outside. You’ll find people running around Central Park like hamsters on their first hamster wheel. Also, you’re sure to find multiple boot camps on The Great Lawn, where trainers with entrepreneurial spirit charge $20/class for use of a public park.
Working out al fresco!
Go to Governor’s Island. This will be my 8th summer in NYC and I have yet to go. Maybe this is the year. Supposedly people love to ride bikes there. I happen to know from some friends’ experience that you need to be extra careful about their open container laws! Beware.
Eat Ice Cream! That’s right, The Scooper Bowl is back. Anyone up for #31Years31IceCreams?!
Eat Outside a.k.a. Smorgasburg. Think State Fair, but the only attraction is endless booths of food. This is the largest weekly open-air food market in America, attracting 20,000-30,000 people to Brooklyn each weekend to eat from 100 local vendors. And yes, it’s worth braving NYC trains to go to Brooklyn on the weekend for this. At least once. But be prepared to wait in lines, every booth has one.
Drink Outside a.k.a. Baseball. New Yorkers love their baseball. But more than the game, I think they just enjoy overpriced beers while getting sunburned. Tickets for Bleacher Creature seats start at around $10 for a bad game. And since no one is there for the game anyway, that’s what I would recommend. Be prepared to be hot, sticky and crowded.
Get Free Stuff. Ok, New Yorkers love free stuff all the time, mostly because we are busy paying $5,000/month in rent for a 1-bedroom apartment. Today though, there is lots of free stuff for the first day of Spring! Unfortunately, there is no Firehouse Subs in Manhattan, and only one Dairy Queen (on 14th Street), but for you suburbanites out there, hit up the freebies! Rita’s has some stuff too.
Enjoy your 12-14 inches of snow tomorrow, and fingers crossed that Spring Springs Soon!
Chillin’ outside in Central Park, enjoying the rays.
The view from the top. Literally. The top of the Rock.
Beautiful flowers at the community garden.
SCOOPER BOWL! So. Much. Ice. Cream.
Baseball and Booze and Besties.
Walking the Brooklyn Bridge on the way to Smorgasburg.
