I had the most “New York” experience yesterday. I had
plans to go to the gym after work and have dinner with a friend. Then in the
morning, my friend texted me to say she won lottery tickets to see The Lion
King on Broadway. For $30! Easy decision. I texted my friend from the gym and
told her I had to cancel because… duh. I apologized profusely and told her I’d
probably be pissed if I were her but… COME ON! No choice here.
A little background: My friend enters the lottery for
shows all the time. I’m talking, multiple times per week. And she has won a few
times, too! However, she usually wins on Mondays and Thursdays, which is when I
teach Spin classes and I can’t get a sub at the last minute. Also, she has
never won for The Lion King (supposedly it’s a tough one to win) and I have
been wanting to see it for DECADES. Literally it’s been on Broadway for more
than 20 years. I quickly replied “YES!!” to her text and Venmo-ed her $30.
I knew that security would probably check our bags, so I
left my gym bag at work and just brought my wallet, keys, phone and book for
the subway. It took me 27 minutes door to door from my office. So New York! I
also stopped at McDonalds on the way because the show started at 7 and I knew I’d
be starving by the end. I got 2 chicken selects for $2 and ate them while I
waited in the box office line. Very classy with my McDonalds on the Broadway
line. Luckily, I was not alone. The people behind me were also lottery winners
and they were scarfing down a street meat hot dog and slice of pizza. I also
smuggled pretzels and tootsie rolls in my coat pocket in a non-noisy Ziploc bag.
My friend was running late and I was worried they wouldn’t
let me pick up the tickets because they were very explicit in the email
confirmation about needing photo ID. My friend who has done this a lot told me
to try because sometimes they don’t care. They didn’t care! I just showed them
the email on my phone and they handed over the tickets.
Yayy!! I arrived early.
Waiting in line and eating Chicken Selects.
They gave me the tickets. REJOICE!
We got to our seats 1 minute before the show started, and
unfortunately the tickets were for the VERY last row. Literally no one was
behind us. My experienced friend said that every other lottery she’d won were
Orchestra seats, not Mezzanine and she apologized. However, the seats were
smack-dab in the middle. Also, it became apparent we actually were lucky to be
up above. First of all, The Lion King has two pits of drums in the upper
levels, within the front pillars on either side of the stage. It was very cool
to be able to see straight into the pits, and watch them do the percussion,
which has been described as “the heartbeat of the show.” Also, there were a lot
of musical numbers with choreography and formations that were awesome to see
from above, sort of like how the Rockettes are better to watch from the sky
(Thanks Macy’s Parade for teaching me this). Also, at the beginning of both
acts, there were birds and actors that came out from all of the doors, even in
the mezzanine!
The show was amazing, everything I expected and more. I
loved how the actors were one with their costumes. Like how the zebras not only
made the zebra props move like animals, but they also moved their own legs like
zebras. Or what I expect zebras would move like. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen
one IRL. And those giraffes… on two sets of stilts?? Color me impressed. Young Simba didn’t
have the best voice in the world, but he is probably 10 years old, so that in
and of itself is impressive. And Rafiki? WOAH. I went to look her up after the
show because I was curious about the accuracy of the language in the show, and
sure enough, it’s very accurate. Tshidi
Manye, who has been playing Rafiki for more than 20 YEARS is from South
Africa and is featured on the original movie soundtrack. Also, throughout the
show, she speaks five of the 11 official language of South Africa (English,
Zulu, Sotho and Xhosa). Wtf. That is awesome.
It was such a fun experience, even from the back row.
Sometimes I complain about the hot subways,
or terrible service on the subways, or hot weather,
or bed
bugs, or sirens,
but sometimes, New York is AMAZING. Who else except New Yorkers gets to decide
that instead of Spin class, they are going to attend The Lion King on Broadway
for $30? No one. It was a good New York day.
Curtain Time! Obligatory Playbill pic.
End of show 🙂 Not TOO far away even from the back row!
Sometimes you have to throw in the towel. Or admit defeat. That’s what happened to one of my 2018 resolutions to keep a bullet journal. I realized that there was just not enough time in the day to both do things, and then write about them. Let me explain.
Bullet Journaling, or #BuJo for short, has a cult
following, especially in the crafting/online community. Basically, it was
invented by a guy, Ryder Carroll, to make up for the things he couldn’t do
using an app. It is an analog way to “track the past, organize the present, and
plan the future.” He has a handy 4-minute YouTube video about it here. BEWARE of the YouTube black hole, guys.
My story began by watching that 4-minute video, and next thing you know it was
5 days later and I was at Michaels purchasing 5 types of felt-tip pens and 8
tubes of washi-tape. But again, I’m getting ahead of myself.
In theory, Bullet Journaling is great. You can use any notebook, although Bullet Journal sells their own, because #capitalism. But the point of a BuJo is that anyone can do it, in any notebook they want. Of course, the internet has favorites (the Leuchtturm, Moleskine etc.), but you can use any book. That’s because you do all of the work yourself! You write it as you go. You do most of the work when you first set it up, at the beginning of the year. If you had never heard of bullet journaling, but all of a sudden, you’ve seen it on your social media, that’s because the first week of the year just finished and people were rushing to set up their new “layouts.” In fact, the YouTube black hole contains HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of bloggers showing their 2019 setups. DON’T CLICK IT. IT’S A TRAP.
My gorgeous Bullet Journal (#RIP). I used it enough that I broke the elastic!
Here’s the main gist, and what is included in all bullet
journals:
Index: This is a running list of your pages. Remember that you can do this BuJo thing in any plain notebook. That means you need to write your own page numbers and refer back to this Index as you add pages and update it.
Future Log: This is usually a quick monthly separation of your year, where you add the events that are coming up in the months ahead. This is necessary because you only write the current week’s tasks. You can control how many pages you use this way, or if you need to add anything.
Monthly Log: Includes the days of the month, and the letter of the day (M for Monday etc.). This is a “Birds Eye View” of your monthly appointments and tasks.
Daily Logs (usually done by the week) – Tasks, Events, and Notes for each day, in bullet form, and sometimes starred for importance
Collections: Lists of tasks or other things all grouped together by topic. This is where the Pinterest/internet community gets carried away, but more on that later.
At the end of each month, you set up the next month by looking at any leftover tasks you didn’t complete. You go to the previous month’s tasks, check off the ones you completed. With the leftover ones, if you don’t want to do it anymore, you cross it out. But if it’s still worth your time, “migrate” it by drawing an arrow, then writing it in the next month’s monthly log. If the task is not due for a few months, then you can instead write it in the future log, for the month when it’s due.
This is all meant to reduce distraction and be more productive,
basically a “Konmari method for your thoughts,” according to Vogue. (Marie
Kondo is so IN right now.)
Well guys, I was so determined last year. Not only did I set up my Index, Future Log, and Monthly Log, (all of the photos in this blog are REAL excerpts from my bullet journal!), I also did all of the extra things that the crazy people on the internet do. I even wrote a yearly calendar at the beginning where I wrote out the numbers 1-31 for every single month in tiny little invisible squares. (I got the “dotted” notebook, which is loved by all internet BuJo’ers, because you can write straight, but you don’t have those UNSIGHTLY lines. Lines in a notebook? EW!) I tried to learn how to doodle, to make cute borders, I bought pens of different colors and thicknesses, I googled “how to draw a piggy bank” for my savings page, I really was all in.
My Index & Key (Note my Braid in Manhattan Business Card)
My Business Card is a fold-out easy-reference key!
Yes, I wrote all those numbers myself. I told you I’m nuts.
Yearly Goals (many pages have been redacted #Mueller)
Future Log!
Monthly Log for January (check out those fireworks doodles)
Monthly Goals and steps tracker.
Weekly Log (I was fastidious at this point!)
I even added some momentos with washi tape, like this playbill cover.
The most fun part was the collections, although it also became the most time-consuming part. As I quickly learned from my new internet-blogger peeps, you can make a collection for ANYTHING. The first type of collection is a “habit-tracker,” where you do exactly that. You can track your daily sleep, steps, exercise, food, etc. You can have a graph where you mark every day you successfully make breakfast at home, or go without caffeine, or make it to the gym! I had two habit trackers, for my gym sessions (color-coded by type of workout), and for my moods. The mood one quickly made me realize that I’m happy a large majority of days. Good discovery, I guess, but boring to track after a while. I would sometimes get a week behind on these, which was much easier to remember my gym sessions, but more difficult to try and remember how I was feeling on a particular day. Sometimes I think I faked it.
Habit Tracking! This did not last long.
The other types of collections were more like lists to keep a running tally of things throughout the year. These lists included books I read, stats for my books (gender of author, length, genre), movies I’d seen (there were a lot… this was in the heyday of Moviepass RIP) and also my social media statistics (followers, number of posts etc.). I also wrote about my many many trips and travel stats.
I was doing so well for a few months, especially with the collections. I am a very crafty person, so I was having fun! I used to scrapbook all the time when I lived in Florida, and although I still have most of my scrapbooking stuff, it sits in a box underneath my bed because as all New Yorker’s say, “ain’t nobody got space for that!” Anyway, bullet journaling was a great way to keep crafting, but keep it to one single book with a small(er) amount of supplies.
It was fun… until it wasn’t. It became burdensome. I hit my first hurdle in my very first month with my bullet journal when I went to Seattle and Vancouver. Should I bring my Bullet Journal? How many pens? Is it worth carrying in my backpack? Will I forget it anywhere? When will I have time to write in it if I’m busy hanging with my best friend, hiking and boozing it up? Ultimately, I did bring it with me, but it was difficult to keep up with. I brought it with me on MANY trips, even to Spain! I wrote in it on each train ride between cities to recap what we had done.
One of my trips with my BuJo!
My last trip with my Bujo… notice the blank space.
But eventually, it became a hassle. I didn’t feel like recapping my day. I had never been great at keeping a diary and making a note of each time I fought with my bf seemed stupid and useless. Also, did that make me sad? Angry? Tired? Or was I still overall happy for the day? What would I put in my mood habit tracker?
I also started to fall very behind on my collections. Although I thought it was a good idea and I did enjoy crafting, it felt redundant. When I heard of a book I wanted to read, I put it on my Goodreads “want to read” shelf. Why would I also write it in my BuJo? Also, as I progressed with my braiding, I was bookmarking all of the braids I wanted to try within the Instagram app. Why would I also try to describe it in words in my BuJo? Same thing with my travel: I was already writing about it on my blog (sometimes), so why would I also waste my time and write about it by hand? Everything seemed superfluous and time-consuming.
I spent a few weeks scaling back, and only writing the highlights of my weeks, but I realized I wasn’t even using the bullet journal anymore as it is intended, as a planner and organizer, but more as a diary. Again, why would I use it as a planner when I have Google calendar on my phone, in my pocket? There are some things I miss, like tracking my social media stats, but I may just keep a running list of that in the memos in my phone, instead of a full craft-stravaganza.
Weekly Log (I was fastidious at this point!)
Some of my last full weeks. Note how messy and quick I got.
I understand that some people enjoy bullet journaling as a
creative outlet, but overall, I don’t understand it as a time-saving method. To
me, it was a huge time suck. Although it was fun, I would probably never do it
again. I did, however, learn how to draw a SICK piggy bank! Have any of you
experimented with bullet journaling? What did you think?
Savings Goals! (I did much better than this but I stopped keeping track)
PHEW what a year! People always comment about how much I travel, but I honestly didn’t realize until I saw it written out in black and white. If you weren’t one of the lucky 73 people to get a holiday card from me and my emoji bf, I recapped the travel we did this year, and spoiler alert… it’s a LOT. I would simply post a PDF of the card, but that would require a lot of emoji-placement on my sweet boyfriend’s face, so instead I’ll just recap my travel here. There is still going to be some emoji-placement.
Maybe after you see how I spent half of 2018 in airports,
you’ll forgive me for posting infrequently here. I left the state every single
month of the year with the exception of July, when my best Australian buddy was
here in the USA so I had to stay and eat Tim Tams with her.
I wrote a blog post about this trip, which you can back-reference
here, but the main highlights were a lot of amazing food, gorgeous views of
Granville Market and Deception Pass, having an all-night dance party, finding
$100 on the floor of a pub, Segway-ing up the crazy hills of Seattle, and of
course spending QT with my bestie! Lowlight (is that the opposite of
highlight?) was leaving my phone, which was on airplane mode, in a cab. Somehow
it was miraculously recovered! Not a lowlight after all.
February
– Los Angeles, California
I didn’t blog about this trip per se, but I did go to a
lot of ice cream places and blogged
about that! I had to continue my #30Years30IceCreams with a travel edition.
Also, I’m 31 now, but ice cream is still just as good. This trip was mostly for
work, but every time I am in LA I try to tack on a few extra days to hang out
with my college roommate! I also got to see another friend from college and
watch the Olympics with him. Side note: LA is SO FAR! I always hate that long
transcontinental flight, only to land in the SAME COUNTRY! I’d rather go to
Europe.
March/April
– Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
I went to the first Passover Seder at my sister’s house in
NYC, then the 2nd at my parents in Philly! I dragged my emoji bf
with me as well. He is a Seder pro now. It also happened to be my mom’s
birthday that weekend. My family surprised my mom by chipping in for a YMCA
membership for her birthday, the one thing she wanted. She was so happy, she
cried, and the video warms my heart! Thankfully, Philly does not require an
airplane ride, and for this trip, I took my sister’s car. Much more convenient!
I wrote a post about this trip!
(Maybe I wasn’t as bad at blogging this year as I thought!?) My work’s annual
conference changes place every year, and this year I was super excited to go to
Chicago because I’d never been! Technically the conference was in Skokie, but I
extended my trip with my work bestie to explore the city! Highlights included: A
Segway Ride, gorgeous weather, deep dish pizza, a GORGEOUS view from out
penthouse Air Bnb, which had the electricity turned off for non-payment while
we were staying there. Oops.
Vancouver Exploring
Gorgeous Walk to Granville Market
FOUND: $100!!
Road trip with purple bear back through the Canadian border to Seattle.
Quick stop at the GORGEOUS Deception Pass.
Deception Pass Pics
Hike in the mountains outside Seattle with her adorable pup, Charlie.
Segway with the Space Needle!
California Nitrogen Ice Cream
Quick Stop to pose with famous art at the Getty
Why so prickly? (#cactusgarden)
My happy place.
Road trip up to Malibu to a secret beach.
Can you tell she’d been crying?
CHICAGO!! Beautiful view from our penthouse AirBNB before the electricity was turned off.
Always gotta pose with Long Legs where I find them.
CHI-TOWN & SEGWAYS!
How gorgeous is this??
Also gorgeous: deep dish pizza.
Chicago Bronze Cow.
THE BEAN.
May –
Cordoba, Seville, Granada, Madrid, Spain
Yeahhhh… this must have been when my blogging fell off
because HOW DID I NOT TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT THIS TRIP!? It’s also when my Braid in ManhattanInstagram began, and
I’m pretty sure there’s a correlation/causation there. Anyway, SPAIN. GO THERE.
I fell in love with all the places we went, but my favorite was Granada. They
have free food! Literally! Buy a drink, get amazing
food for free. How can any place like that be bad? Also, we planned this
trip during the famous Patio Festival in Cordoba, which was breathtaking.
Cordoba now has the most
UNESCO heritage sites as of this year! Jump on it before everyone else
does. Trust me.
I loved traveling abroad with a group of girls. We all
packed in backpacks and took trains around the country. I can’t wait for the next
excursion.
June –
Charleston, South Carolina
My best friend and I went to visit another friend in
Charleston, SC and it was my first time there. It was fun to travel with a
friend, especially since I usually fly solo (plus purple bear). We had lots of
girly time, and I discovered the amazingness of Truly, a sparking water that
is alcoholic. What? Amazing. We hung out at the pool, and the beach, and we
rode around her neighborhood in her new golf cart. The next time we see each
other will be at her wedding in ITALY! I’ll definitely have to tell you guys
about that.
July –
Beacon, New York
I said I didn’t travel in July but that is sort of a lie, I
went upstate to Beacon, NY for my friend’s bachelorette! There was no airport
involved (thank goodness) but it was still fun to get out of town for a bit. If
you missed my blog about it, you can find it here!
Backpacking for the first time ever!
First train of MANY.
Our adorable Air bnb in Cordoba, actually one of the famous patios!
1st day Cordoba exploring.
First of a LOT of ham and sangria.
Free walking tour! We did one of these in every city.
The famous Calleja de las Flores (Street of Flowers)
GORGEOUS patios.
Inside the Mezquita ( The Mosque–Cathedral of Córdoba, aka the Great Mosque of Córdoba)
City #2: Sevilla!
Spanish Square (Plaza de Espana)
Alcazar
Blogger Photo at the Alcazar
Secret Flamenco show in Seville
More Trains Busses and Automobiles!
On the way to Granada
ALHAMBRA!
SO. MUCH. HAM.
posing on a hike up into the gypsy cave territory.
Mojitos on the top floor od a department store with an amazing outdoor patio
Charleston with my ladies!
Golf Cart Chillin.
Truly Sparkling and a FAB pool.
Bachelorette Party to Beacon!
Wine Tour commence!
How many vineyards can we hit in one day?
Hiking off the wine from the previous day!
More Vineyards
Out of Order Charleston Cycling
Any Airport with an insta-frame in a friend of mine.
August
– WEDDING SZN! New Jersey, Philadelphia, Brooklyn
Within 5 weeks’ time, my emoji bf and I went to 3 weddings
in 3 states. Gratefully, they were all accessible by train, and we even hitched
a ride home from the New Jersey one in my cousin’s car.
September
– Dublin, Ireland
What. A. Whirlwind. Thanks to my job and the many many
Jewish holidays in the Fall, I was able to take a trip with my mom without
taking any vacation days. We based ourselves in Dublin and took a few day trips
out of the city to Cliffs of Moher, Cork, Galway, Blarney Castle, Rock of
Cashel, and many other sites. We went to the Guinness Storehouse, Kilmainham Gaol
(a historic jail), The Whiskey Museum, and a National
Camogie Championship game. Then, as if sightseeing all day wasn’t enough,
it happened that my friend from Florida was in Dublin at the same time with
friends, so I went out and partied with them every night! I think I slept a
maximum of 4 hours/night. It was SO fun, and I can’t wait to travel again with
my mom.
October
– Cancun, Mexico
This trip was for one sole purpose: relaxation. I definitely
needed it after Ireland. Also, this trip came at the perfect time because it
was in the middle of The Great
Bed Bug Scare of 2018! It was Emoji-bf’s birthday, and all we wanted to do
was sleep in and lay by the pool and read. Sure enough, that’s what we did! We
also drank a lot, went to a glow party, and made new friends. But mostly, we
relaxed.
November
– Los Angeles, California
I went to LA again for work and hit up my favorite spots: Santa Monica beach path for a few runs, Philz for coffee, and Sidecar Doughnuts because DUH. Also, I got to have dinner with my college friend, and extended my visit to stay with my college roommate! We saw the BEST burlesque show EVER, Cherry Boom Boom, and now I follow them on Instagram and fall in love with every post. Also, we took a day trip to Joshua Tree National Park which was AWESOME. When we got back to Santa Monica, the smoke in the air from the wildfires was very intense. It’s been a rough year for the LA region.
Wedding #1! I was a bridesmaid in this one.
Wedding #2. How snazzy is my date?
Wedding #3! Same emoji, different dress.
Sister-Sister!
IRELAND! Whiskey barrels.
And lots of kegs.
Visiting one of the oldest jails.
GUINNESS!
Inside the Four Courts.
Up early… out late!
Cahir Castle and a few cannons
Inside the Cahir Castle.
Blarney Stone!
Climbing in and around the Blarney castle (my mom skipped this one).
Rock of Cashel!
Croke Park and CAMOGIE.
Outside the stadium
Cliffs of Moher
Selfie at the Cliffs
More Cliffs of Moher.
Largest glass of whiskey out there.
Galway City.
Trinity College
Selfies in Dublin.
RELAXIN in Mexico!
Beach and Bf = happy Emily
Glow par-tay.
I must be back in LA… SIDECAR!
My happy place.
First time at Joshua Tree. So gorgeous!
Explorin.
Joshua Tree Handstand.
How gorgeous is this??
KING OF THE WORLD!
November
– Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
After we spent real Thanksgiving in NYC because I was in
the Macy’s
Parade (did you guys really think I wouldn’t bring that up again??), we
went to Philly for the weekend to see my parents and celebrate a belated
Thanksgiving. This meant two feasts, which I will never say no to. My brother
came, too! We ran a 5K together as a family and I did surprisingly well,
considering how I swore off running for 6 months to heal my ankle. Most of our
time in Philly was spent relaxing, but we capped off the weekend with a
DELCIOUS third feast at a dim sum restaurant
in Chinatown called Ocean
Harbor.
December
– Delray Beach/Boca Raton, Florida
At the beginning of the year, I was determined to travel
more internationally, which meant forsaking a trip to Florida for the first year
since I moved to New York! But by September, I really missed all my friends and
I found a $207 roundtrip ticket on JetBlue and packed my bags. It’s so fun to visit
my friends and soak in the warm temperatures.
December
– Dallas, Texas
Every year we visit my emoji-bf’s non-emoji family in
Texas for Christmas. It’s fun to get together and hang out, watch movies, wrap
presents and eat way too much! I even snuck in a workout class and a run with
his sisters. Even my brother drove from San Antonio to spend a few days with
us. We went out for dinner and yummy cocktails with a college friend in Deep
Ellum one night but other than that, we stayed pretty close to home. Also, Santa
got me a new phone! Better resolution braiding pics coming soon!
Are
you guys exhausted reading this? Because I am!! I love traveling, and I hope to
do more of it in 2019. What are your plans for the new year? Any exciting
destinations?
As 2018 comes to a close, I want to check in with you guys on your resolutions. Did you make any? Did you stick to them? I wrote a blog last year where I challenged you to make a few, and it’s only fair to tell you guys how I did with mine, as well. Quick refresher, my three resolutions were:
Plan myself less; have 1-2 FREE nights/week.
Get back in the pool and start swimming again.
Do more weight training to become stronger.
The first one was a half-win. I booked myself permanently for Tuesday nights as “date nights,” which made my free time 1/7th less. However, I told my emoji-bf that our date nights didn’t need to be excursions all the time; it could be Netflix & chill. Sure enough, we did that a lot. I did a better job of not making plans on Fridays, which I always regret when I make them. I am so busy all the time, especially with travel (another blog coming soon on my 2018 travel recap), that it’s nice to sit at home and veg out every once in a while. I think I will continue this resolution and roll it into 2019.
Speaking
of rollovers, my second and third resolutions were actually leftover from 2017.
I did a much better job at these! For swimming, I moved to an apartment that
was closer to a gym with a pool, which was incredibly helpful. Before Tuesdays
became date nights, I was swimming every Tuesday. Also, after I unfortunately
sprained my ankle AGAIN over the summer, swimming provided a great alternative
cardio workout. I even swam for weeks using a buoy between my legs, and only
using my arms. I felt so much stronger, and my ankle always felt better after
stretching just by dragging through the water resistance. I have fallen off the
swimming a bit in the past 2 months because of date night and because it’s
COLD! I don’t like being wet and walking the (albeit short) 9 blocks home.
Swimming is always easier with a friend to push you!
My
last resolution to weight train more has been incredibly successful, again
thanks to my proximity to a new gym. I found two classes a week that I enjoy: A
Sunday morning boot camp class, and a Wednesday evening TRX interval class. Between
these two classes, I have increased my strength and I have gained self-esteem
by realizing I can do things I didn’t realize before (like hold a handstand
against the wall for a full minute!) Adding non-cardio workouts to my routine
has helped me stick to a diversified schedule, and the secret was just finding
instructors I liked, and small classes to keep me accountable.
I get down on myself when I fail at resolutions, so it’s important
to recognize success where I can find it. I am all about positive reinforcement,
even for myself. I like to recognize and pat myself on the back occasionally. Some
of my ongoing resolutions that I have been able to stick to are:
Make coffee at home. I prefer iced coffee, so I used to buy it out every day. I have been incredibly successful at making it in advance at home. I have spent a mere $169 on coffee shops in 2018. This may seem like a lot, but I used to spend $75/month! That’s a reduction of $731 for the year.
Speaking of saving money and budgeting, I have continued to stick to my mint. I may not be saving yet but, but at least I know where each of my dollars is going. That’s the first step.
Travel more internationally. As I mentioned before, a blog about my 2018 travel is coming soon. I have fallen off a bit with my travel blogging, but I did make it to three countries outside the US this year, and two of them were new!
Tweet more. Last year at this time, I had about 510 tweets. Now I have 1,147! Not bad! I’m still working on it. Follow me @longlegsbigcity!
Save for retirement. My work has helped me with this; they have an amazing plan where if I put in 6%, they put in 8%! It’s basically unheard of. I was doing really well before our Commander in Idiocy crashed the market last week. Oh well.
Read 4 nonfiction books/year. I have succeeded! This year I read 41 books so far, and 12 of them were nonfiction. My nonfiction selections were: Becoming, The New Jim Crow, Tuesdays with Morrie, Lean In, So You Want to Talk About Race, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, Lucky, Wild, When, Shrill, The New Rabbi and What Happened. Follow me on GoodReads for recommendations!
Traveling internationally for the first time with a backpack! (and Purple Bear)
I’m excited for 2019, and I will try and continue these resolutions, as well as add on a few more. My two main resolutions are:
Food prep more and bring lunch to work. This means traveling less on the weekends, so I have Sundays for food shopping and cooking. We’ll see if I succeed. I have my doubts because I already have 3 weddings on the calendar.
Get BraidInManhattan.com up and running and monetize the braiding hobby into a braiding business! Right now, I purchased the domain and I have it redirecting to my Instagram (I’m up to 1,336 followers!). For 2019 I want to do more hair for weddings, prom, events, etc. Do you know anyone who needs a stylist?
What are your resolutions? Do you have any? Leave them in
the comments or let me know how you did with your 2018 ones!
I’ve peaked. There’s nowhere to go but down. I have achieved my life goal at age 31 and it’s only downhill from here. Why get engaged? Why get married? Why have kids? I already have enough Facebook likes for the entirety of my life. I was in the Macy’s Parade.
There is only one reason to set the alarm for 4:30 am on a day where you don’t have work, and that’s the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I should revise that last sentence. I didn’t have to work at my typical 9-5, but I did have a very important job to do: Clowning Around! As you may have read two weeks ago in my equally-as-thrilled blog post, I was a Viking Clown in the parade. If you are still wondering how I got the gig, check out my last blog post.
I know that what you really want to know are my stream of consciousness thoughts during the best day of my life, so you’re in luck. Here we go:
4:30 am:My alarm went off. I proceeded to be very confused because it was 100% dark out and my emoji-bf was still fast asleep. He is ALWAYS up before me. But like a normal hum
an, he was sleeping in on his day off. I am not a normal human. When I finally realized why my alarm had gone off, I rocketed out of bed to get ready. IT WAS PARADE DAY!!!
4:32 am: I brushed my teeth while scrolling through my phone furiously. I successfully went to bed at 11:30 pm the night before the parade (a full 5 hours of sleep!). While I slept, my phone started to blow up with good luck wishes by text, Instagram DM and Facebook comments. Obviously, I had posted about the parade before I went to sleep, and everyone wanted a piece of the action. Duh.
4:34 am:I attempted to write people back via text message, and then remembered it was still before 5 am and thought better of it.
4:36 am: I contemplated making eggs for breakfast, but instead ate half of a chicken cutlet from the fridge (no time for microwaving!), and I definitely did NOT drink any coffee or water. Remember this for later.
4:40 am: I began layering. I wore 5 layers. A sports bra (a lot of walking was to be done!), a long sleeved thermal shirt, another long-sleeved shirt, a down running vest, and another down vest. And that was just on top. I also wore multiple layers on my legs. And my feet. Then I started to pack my stuff in my pockets. ID necessary to get into the costuming hotel, a granola bar in case my half of a cold chicken cutlet wouldn’t cut it (spoiler alert: granola bar was needed), 4 sets of hand warmers, and of course a portable cell phone charger and cord. So many photos to take!
5:05 am: (yes, it took me 25 minutes to put on clothes) I tried to go to the bathroom for the 5th time. I lamented forgetting to buy Depends because even with no coffee or water, I knew I would probably have to pee.
5:10 am: I walked to the subway. It was much colder than I thought it would be. Just kidding, it was just as cold as I knew it would be. 16 degrees. Woah.
5:45 am: I arrived at the New Yorker Hotel, where I saw a HUGE line of people wrapped around the entrance. I got in line, thinking I would definitely freeze before I even got my makeup on. I tried to chat with the people around me. The guy behind me in line was the Elf on a Shelf. I tried to find him later on TV but all I saw was the balloon. You think he *WAS* the balloon???
5:50 am:A guy came to try and warm up the crowd. A fluffer, of sorts. He asked us if we were excited. Then he told us all to take our lassos out and wave them around our heads to show our excitement. Then he said, “Knock Knock” Us: “Who’s there?” Him: “Yah” Us: “Yah-hoo!” He got all of us. With our lassos in the air. It did make us laugh and warm us up a bit.
5:52 am: A guy asked for anyone with a 5:45 call time and took us to the front of the line and into the hotel! Yay! Warmth! We scanned our tickets and I followed signs to the clown staging area. There were balloon handlers, banner holders, etc, and they each had different areas.
5:55 am – 6:25 am: I put on my costume. Yes, this took 30 minutes. AGAIN. Each type of clown had a helper to explain which costume pieces went where. This was not as self-explanatory as you may have thought. There were an additional 3 layers that were somehow supposed to go over the 5 layers I was already wearing. There were leggings to go over my 3 pairs of pants, and then fur-leg-warmers that had to go on top of those. I took my shoes off and put them back on 3 times because I kept forgetting parts. If you think it’s difficult getting up off the floor, try doing it in 7 layers of clothes. It’s no small feat. After I finally was completely dressed with my wig cap on, and with promises that my makeup artist would be able to help me fit my ear warmers under my wig so they wouldn’t show (and so I wouldn’t freeze), I went on to the makeup line.
My costume! Check out that golden corset contraption. It came in handy to hold things.
So many clowns getting ready!
I was pretty glad I didn’t have to wear a block.
Fairies getting fairied.
Completed fairy!
More costume racks. This is a huge production.
NYC Tourist Clowns in line for makeup!
Keg clown?
6:30 am:MAKEUP! This was incredible. There were rows and rows of makeup artists, with number paddles like in line at Trader Joes. My makeup artist told me she had been doing makeup for the Parade for 22 years! She said, “I live for this day.” And I was like “ME TOO GURL.” We were a match made in heaven. She told me that each clown used to have different makeup, which was more fun and creative for her, but now it was streamlined and all of the clowns had the same makeup. Then she asked if I wanted to do my own eye makeup after she asked if I had contact lenses (I do). I told her “NAH, I want the professional to do my makeup even if it means sacrificing my eyes forever.” She was hesitant but she did it. All was good, though. And she let me take a few selfies as we went along. Sure enough, she helped fit my ear muffs under my wig-hat, and then I was off to the buses!
In line for makeup, wig cap and all.
Makeup room! Check out the rows of artists.
My personal makeup artist, who was totally down for selfies.
OHHH we’re halfway thereeee.
Completed product! Let’s have a parade.
6:45 am:We boarded the buses waiting outside for us and started uptown. I was surprised the streets weren’t closed, we were just traveling with normal traffic uptown. Thankfully there is very little traffic at 6:50 am on Thanksgiving morning, and we made it up to 80th street by 7 am. While I was on the bus, my sister texted me that she was bundled up and on her way to watch the parade with my brother! Thankfully, they were running a little late (7 am is LATE to get a good spot) so the timing was perfect for me to meet them at my bus stop! We took 3 minutes to chat and take photos, and then they went on their way to find a spot. Thankfully, again, since it was 16 degrees (maybe not “thankfully”), there were less people out early to watch, so my siblings got a GREAT spot!
Exodus of clown to the buses.
Sibling Selfie at the bus!
Who is the cutest one? Who is wearing the most layers?
6:55 am: I made my way to “Clown Corner #1” which is where I was supposed to meet my other clown comrades. Along the way, I took photos of some balloon handlers getting in formation and having team meetings. Also, SO MANY PEOPLE wanted a photo of me – balloon handlers, police officers, even other clowns! The Viking costume was definitely the most involved of the costumes. I mean, I had a massive golden boob corset, yarn braids and a shield. Come on.
This guy wanted a photo of me, so I made him take one with me!
I found the breakfast clowns on the corner.
Selfies with Stars.
My only other clown comrade with braids!
Ronald McDonald Balloon Handlers getting ready!
Viking Group!
Do we look scary?
Clown Corner Photoshoot!
7-9 am:We waited. And tried to stay warm. Things I did to try and stay warm:
Run in place. Thankfully I was wearing sneakers. And 3 pairs of socks.
Use hand warmers. I had 2 in each of my gloves. I also put some in my golden corset. In hindsight, I wished I had put some in my shoes.
Stalked Al Roker. Really though. Every year, I scream to him about how much I love him. He usually returns these advances with a smile and a wave. This year I was very close to him when I declared my love for him. And I was in a Viking outfit. He did not return this advance with a smile and a wave. I think I scared poor Al. Why doesn’t he remember me!?
Went to the port-o-potty. It makes a person warm to try and take off and put back on 7 layers of clothes in a small space. This was probably the grossest part of the morning. I kept my shield and other accessories outside.
Took a lot of photos. A lot. And boomerangs.
9:00 am: THE PARADE BEGAN! I was in the 8th clown group, which was pretty close to the beginning. I was very excited about that at this point because I was starting to lose feeling in my toes. I did get a foot cramp while I waited, probably a result of my willful dehydration as preparation for no bathrooms. Luckily my foot uncramped just in time for me to scream and take a selfie with John Legend as his float traveled past us, and then it was go-time!
Stalking my BFF, Al.
Taking more photos, trying to stay warm.
PARADE BEGINS!! Check out those fireworks.
JOHN LEGEND!
Me and John Legend. Sorry Chrissy Teigen, but I think this face is cuter than yours. (Or scarier?)
9:20 am:“Viking Clowns, you can JOIN THE PARADE!” It was finally time. I clowned around like the best version of myself for more than an hour. I saw my brother and sister uptown around 75th street, and they took (terrible) photos of me, and I got to wave and scream Happy Thanksgiving to millions of people along the parade route. We were strategically positioned after the How to Train Your Dragon Toothless Dragon balloon, and the James Madison University marching band. This was amazing placement because the poor band played the entire parade! It gave us something to dance and sing along to as we spread Thanksgiving cheer to the crowds.
It was definitely cold, but as I ran and skipped and marched down the parade route, high-fiving everyone along the way, I started to get warm. VERY warm. Keep in mind, I was running miles while wearing 7 layers and a Viking hat/wig. At around mile 2, I gave my hand warmers to some very appreciative spectators. Then, I wiped the sweat off of my brow from under my Viking hat, being incredibly careful not to smudge my makeup. Spoiler alert: I definitely smudged my makeup.
There were a lot of Ohio State fans along the route because their band was in the parade as well, and as a diehard Florida Gator fan, I was not a huge fan of all of the red and white. I did see about 6 people along the route with Gator gear on, and I was sure to scream “GO GATORS” to them. It may be the first time they heard that from a Viking!
A longtime family friend was watching the parade and had let me know where she was standing, so I looked for her and she screamed to me and we found each other! We even took a selfie. I also saw my best friend’s extended family, and her cousin took the funniest video of me ever. You can see me just doin’ my clown thang in the background for seconds until the incessant screaming of my name made another Viking Clown motion for me to come over. It’s such a funny video because it does show me in my element.
Photos of me marching!
Me trying to grab confetti with a gloved hand. It took practice.
Still working on the confetti.
OMG MY SIBLINGS!!!
Selfie along the route followed by more running to catch up.
10:20 am: We reached 38th Street and came to a stop. Little known fact: There were no kids in the parade this year. I know you are all thinking I am lying because you saw them on TV, but the reality is, it was too cold. They didn’t allow the kids to be on the floats, and they loaded them on at 35th street for a 1-block ride through Herald Square! It was definitely a good decision but created a bit of a logistical nightmare for families in the parade whose parents went uptown while they left their kids down at 35th street.
Anyway, we waited while Macy’s staff collected our confetti plastic bags (no plastic on TV!) and we took our final handfuls of confetti to throw in fistfuls in our hands. (I also stuffed a handful into my golden corset. I made sure not to reach in there on TV LOL.)
Then, we waited just out of Herald Square while we listened to John Legend “sing” and it was finally our turn!! I made the career-ending mistake of interacting with the actual people in the stands, instead of going to the south side of the street to be on camera. Therefore, no matter what all of you amazing fa+ns may have thought, you did not actually see me on TV. Thankfully, my makeup artist did my makeup the exact same as every other makeup artist, so I looked eerily similar to the 2 seconds of Viking Clowns they actually showed. But no, it was not me. Sigh.
10:40 am: All of us Viking clown high-fived each other for a clown-job-well-done, and walked back to the New Yorker hotel to give back our costumes. We took an awesome photo in a deserted, closed-off street on the way, and posed with a few more spectators. Then most clowns went to the makeup-removal-room. BUT NOT THIS CLOWN. I wore that fantastic makeup all the way back home. And let me tell you, NOTHING phases a New Yorker. I didn’t get a single strange look.
WILL THERE BE A NEXT YEAR!? Will Al Roker recognize me, and my lifelong dream will happen TWICE IN ONE DAY?? Stay tuned, I’ll keep you posted.
You may remember my obsession with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. If you were following my blog, you definitely do. I wrote about it three times last year, which is 3 times more than any normal New Yorker. I set aside my “I’m too cool for all touristy things” self for Thanksgiving, and I muster all of the #IBelieve I have in me every year for the main event. I have experienced the parade in almost every way: I have watched in Herald Square, I have watched as a baby, I have watched on TV from Florida, I have watched as a full adult screaming on the side of the street, and, I have watched in the uptown grand stand when I miraculously scored those tickets three years ago.
But this year, I am going to be IN THE PARADE. AS A VIKING CLOWN! That’s right, I HAVE PEAKED. When I found out I made it into the parade, I told my boss I was done working for the day, and I knew nothing better would happen to me all year so I should probably just leave. Luckily, he likes me, so he took it in stride. Also, I think he thought I was kidding. I was not. I posted on Facebook two days in a row and I got the most amount of likes on a status since I graduated law school (RIP).
Anyway, let’s roll it back… how did I get to be in the parade? Have you ever wondered where all of those clowns come from? They come from the stores and from the headquarters! They are employees! I tried for years to be in the parade, but it’s tricky because you need to work for Macy’s or Bloomingdales, and I don’t. Despite having 4 careers in my short 31 years on this earth, I have never been lucky enough to score a job that gets me a gig in the parade. Thankfully though, I have friends who are generous, AND who are Bloomies employees! Specifically, I have a friend, Dani, who was in the parade 2 years ago, and who I have been bugging for 2 full years to get me into the parade. She is a great friend. Not only because it actually WORKED but also because she is still my friend even after all of this bugging.
She entered me in the lottery over the summer, and since she was already in the parade, I think she got precedence and her sponsorship went through! (There will be a lot of exclamation marks in this post, #SorryNotSorry, I’m V excited.) Supposedly, being a balloon handler (the ones who hold those massive balloons) is a very coveted, high-ranking job. I did not get that one. My sister did it two years ago, though! Read my other blogs about it. Anyway, I scored the gig of being a clown! This is extra fun because there is no manual labor involved. Basically, I just have to smile, throw confetti, and walk 3 miles from the Natural History Museum down to Herald Square spreading Thanksgiving/Christmas cheer. And the craziest part is, it is a completely random assignment, and I happened to be assigned to the one clown that has BRAIDS! You guys must remember my new obsession with braiding. Braid in Manhattan, in a parade in Manhattan in BRAIDS! It is kismet.
Check out that get-up!
In case one wants extra training to be a clown, they have a college just for that: Clown U. Not that I necessarily felt I needed clown education, but I absolutely wanted to partake in everything Macy’s had to offer me. So, despite my slammin’ hangover from the Halloween Pub Crawl the day before, I walked the 7 blocks to the Big Apple Circus, and I got my clown on. There were balloons and Macy’s stuff everywhere. Also, I got a Macy’s Parade beanie! There’s nothing I love more than free swag. Especially when it’s parade-related.
Balloons!
Class of 2018, that’s me!
FREE MACY’S SWAG!
At Clown U, we were introduced to all of the clown groups, I got to meet my clown captain (yes, that’s a thing), and I got to meet 5 of my other co-clowns (clown-colleagues? Clowneagues?). I saw what my costume will look like in living-color, and I was excited to find that there’s a full-on studded bra involved. Also, we received training from some top-notch clowns. One of them was hoisted into the air as she taught us about the different “levels” of screaming “Happy Thanksgiving!” There’s level 1, for the people along the street who maybe are afraid of clowns, and also still half asleep. Then there’s level 2, for the people 4 or 5 rows back in the crowd, and then there’s level 3, a scream of joy that reaches all the way up 30 stories to the rich folks watching from their apartments along Central Park West. Those weren’t exactly her instructions, but you get the picture. Anyway, we laughed, yelled, and clowned around for a few hours. Then, it was over. I got some much-needed hangover food, and I started the countdown to Thanksgiving!
Look at all of the clown types being introduced!
Learning how to say greet parade-goers at many levels
A real-live clown!
My clown captain and me, with my Clown U Completion Certificate!
CLOWN-MANIA!
I can’t believe it is THIS WEEK that my dream will come true! Watch for me as a Viking Clown, I will be somewhere in the parade, although I won’t know my exact place until the morning of! My call time is at 5:45 am. Thankfully I have 5 layers of viking gear because it’s supposed to be 23 degrees (feels like 14!) See you on the street, or on TV!! Obviously, I will write another post about my time before, during and after the parade, in step by step fashion, but until then, HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! (That was a level 3.)
When you think of the New York nightmare, many things may come to mind: Losing your monthly MetroCard the day after you buy it, being late to an interview and the next train is in 16 minutes, going into the hottest subway car without AC in mid-August, moving to a great apartment in Williamsburg and finding out the next day that the L is going to stop running there for 7 months to a year… and those are all just nightmares related to the subway! But everyone can agree that the absolute worst fear of every New York Resident is one, four-millimeter insect: the bed bug.
First, a history. A few weeks ago, my sweet emoji boyfriend got a bug bite on his wrist. He decided it was different than any other bug bite because it itched so much. So in the middle of a work day, he texted me “I think we have bed bugs.” I have a visceral fear of any bug, not to mention the ones that may live inside my bed, so of course, I FREAKED OUT. I told him he should never mention the B-word again, especially when I was at work and there was nothing I could do about. I also told him that he only had one bug bite on his arm and he needed to “take a chill pill” and realize it was probably a mosquito bite. (I’m a very sweet and kind girlfriend, clearly.) Emoji-bf checked the bed, and he found nothing.
Fast-forward five days, he woke up and he had three bug bites, one of which was on the top of his leg, where his boxers cover. He INSISTED now that we had bed bugs. I was definitely more swayed, since bed bugs tend to bite in a line*, and now he had more than one. (*Sidenote: I know more about bed bugs now, like their biting pattern, than I EVER wanted to know.) At this point, I was sufficiently scared, and I texted the super to get the exterminator in the house. The exterminator came, took apart the bed, turned the couch upside-down, and found nothing.
My bf was pissed and itchy, though. So, we switched the sheets to be safe. We threw out our rug in the bedroom after shaking it out into the bathtub and finding nothing. We took our down comforter to the dry cleaners. We got bed bug glue traps. We got supersonic plug-in bug killers. We got a massive bug trapper with black light. But still… nothing. And I mean NOTHING. I made him check the traps every day because I was terrified of seeing one, and there was not a single one.
Fast-forward 2 days, let me set the scene. Sunday morning, 6 am. I woke up because every light was on our room. I heard my bf packing a bag, throwing things in from his closet.
Me, sleepily: “Are you running away from home?”
Him, strangely: “No, I just figured I would go shower at Equinox, and go to my office.”
Me, confused: “You do know it’s Sunday?”
Him, still strangely: “Yes, um, I’ll be back later.”
Me, very tired: “Ok, well if you’re going to keep the lights on, can you get me an eye mask? I don’t have to be up for 2 more hours.”
Him, hesitantly holding the eye mask and not giving it to me: “Well… I’m not sure if I should tell you this or not but… I found one. I found a bed bug.”
Me, jumping out of bed: “Are you sure? Where? Are you really sure? What did it look like? How many? Are you SURE?”
Him: “Yes, I’m sure. It was ON me. And I got a video. Incontrovertible evidence.”
Me: “That’s a big word for a Sunday morning at 6 am. But let’s get the fuck out of here.”
Well guys, it was Sunday, so unfortunately that meant the exterminators don’t work. Fun fact. But I felt like I had been evicted from my home. I packed a bag for the day, and went with Emoji-bf to his office to wait until I had to teach my Spin class. Then I carefully taught my class and did not put my belongings near anyone or touch anything besides my own bike. I felt like I had an STD. I finished class and began texting and telling anyone I had come in contact with in the previous two weeks, or anyone who had contact with my house. My bf group-texted my super and me with the video of the bug, which I refused to watch. I mentally prepared myself for weeks and months of sleep filled with bug nightmares. I evacuated my house and walked around Central Park for hours. I walked 30,769 steps that day. That’s 14 miles. But who’s counting?
Beautiful view, terrible circumstances.
Thankfully, our super lives in the apartment below us, and he was equally as terrified as we were. He insisted that the exterminator checked on Friday and found nothing. And we insisted that we believed him, but also directed him to watch the video of incontrovertible evidence. Our super directed us to put every piece of fabric: bedding, curtains, towels, pillows, sheets, clothing, into plastic bags and to seal them. He gave us 40 bags, and we used them all.
Every fabric in our house… in bags.
Me: sitting on the kitchen (the only safe space) while waiting for the exterminator.
At first, I think my bf took the video just to prove the existence of the bug to me, but it came in handy. The super made an appointment for an exterminator for the next day, at which time I showed the video yet again (without ever watching it, still terrified), and he confirmed that it was, in fact, a bed bug. ONE. SINGULAR. BUG. Again, he insisted that he had been there on Friday and had not seen anything, but “better safe than sorry.” I cannot tell you how many times I have uttered that phrase in the past two weeks. “Do we need to worry about our shoes?” “Better safe than sorry!” “Should we throw out our hangers?” “Better safe than sorry!” “Do we need to spray our electronics?” “Can’t do that, but you should vacuum any small openings just in case.” “Better safe than sorry!”
The exterminator answered my questions for approximately 45 minutes, and then proceeded to put on a massive HAZMAT-type suit to begin the spraying process. I wish I took a photo of him, but it seemed weird. He kept trying to tell me stories of “worse situations” he had seen, and I kept cutting him off. Example:
Exterminator: “This one time, I was at a house with a massive infestation (worst word ever when hearing BB stories) and when I took the mattress off…”
Me: “PLEASE STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I BELIEVE YOU BUT I DON’T WANT TO KNOW.”
Anyway, he sprayed the house and instructed us not to come back for at least 4 hours. “6 hours if you can, better safe than sorry!”
I didn’t come back for 10 hours. That night, our super kept the laundry room open for us overnight so we could run every fabric in our house through the dryer. He let us do it at night because we could use all of the machines, and also because he didn’t want anyone else in the building to know about the bug and cause mass hysteria.
*Fun Bed Bug Fact!* They don’t die in water, but they die in heat. You must high-heat or steam everything to kill them. We did so much drying and plastic bag carrying. We learned the perfect way to open plastic bags directly into dryers to make sure that no bed bugs fall on the floor. Then we re-bagged everything into NEW plastic bags, because the exterminator was coming BACK! A second, bonus round of spraying was included in our “treatment” for a week later. We were told to separate one bag each of clothes we would need for the next two weeks, and to keep the other things sealed in bags until the ordeal was over so we didn’t have to re-dry everything a second time. We finally finished at 1 am, and thankfully, my bf had gotten us a hotel room on the next block because I couldn’t stand one more day without sleep. Then again, who knows if hotel beds in NYC are any better, bed-bug-wise…
SO. MUCH. LAUNDRY. (and note the Amazon Now bags full of detergent.
2 weeks later, I can say with absolute certainty that I have NEVER done so much laundry in my LIFE. In fact, as I sit here in my living room on my laptop that came out of a sealed trash bag, looking at the remaining 4 plastic bags of things that I haven’t put away yet because I am waiting for our new hangers to come from Amazon, I can tell you that I have never experienced anything so terrible. I am sitting on my couch in a tank top, fearing for my arms and fearing that there may be any bugs left. Every night, I go to sleep fearing that maybe there was one more. Maybe it was hiding. We bought special bed bug protectors that we zipped our mattress and box spring in and we zip-tied them shut. I have changed our sheets 5 times in the past 2.5 weeks. I am still working on putting clothes back in my dresser from bags, boxes, and laundry bags.
Did I mention the best part??? THE EXTERMINATOR DIDN’T FIND ANY OTHER BUGS. NONE. THERE WAS JUST ONE. He told me when he first came to the house that it was “very common” for there to be one or two and no more, but, “better safe than sorry!” He said you can pick one up on clothes from buses, trains, subways, taxis, Ubers, movie theaters, or from other people rubbing against you. He said it could come from anyone, you, your spouse, your friends, your cleaning lady. He said it could come from bags put on the floor, bags put near other bags, from luggage, from airports or from hotels. Basically, NO ONE IS SAFE AND NOWHERE IS SAFE. And if that doesn’t make you fear for your life and the safety of your home, I don’t know what will. If you guys wake up with nightmares of bed bugs tomorrow, let me know. And take some solace in the fact that I probably woke up from them as well.
How many emails do you have in your inbox from Mitch Lowe?? If your answer is “0” or “who the heck is Mitch Lowe?” then I guarantee you are not a Moviepass subscriber. I know that because my inbox is FILLED with emails from him. In fact, at this rate, I’ll have to upgrade my google storage. Mitch Lowe is the CEO of the now-infamous Moviepass, and he has been spamming subscribers with emails weekly (or more) with changes to the plan, making it more and more of a hassle.
If you have been living under a rock, here is some history. Moviepass is a subscription service where you pay a certain amount per month, which allows you to see movies in the movie theatre. It used to be that $9.99/month got you unlimited movies. The one caveat was that not all movie theatres participated. But most did. Now, things have changed drastically.
When the company started, there was much speculation about the staying power of a company that seemed to hemorrhage money. After all, a regular movie ticket in New York costs $18; it seemed too good to be true! Someone had to be losing money. And sure enough, somebody was: Moviepass. Ultimately, they lost so much money the app literally stopped working. On July 26th, they went SO bankrupt that their app wass inoperable, and they borrowed $6 million from investment firm Hudson Bay Capital Management to “turn it back on.”
But did Moviepass give up? NOPE. Many articles online were published speculating about the end of the service, calling the new changes to its services a “going out of business sale,” or wondering just HOW low the stock prices needed to drop before Mitch Lowe and his company Helios and Matheson gave up.
As of the writing of this blog post, it still refuses to die. But it officially sucks. They have decided to keep the company operable and continue to take money from subscribers, but the difference is… there are no movies you can see on it anymore! It is actually a genius idea. Moviepass has subscribers paying for a monthly service that basically provides nothing!
The first change came with “ticket verification.” This was where they required you to take a photo of your ticket stub and upload it to the app. They said this was to avoid fraud, but I had an inkling that it was just for them to test the waters as to what kind of changes people would put up with. Then came the movie caps: 3/month for your subscription instead of unlimited. This still seemed reasonable, especially the way ticket prices were in New York. However, it did make people wonder how they could just change the terms. Turns out everyone agreed to basically any change in terms in the small print. SURPRISE!! The third change came in the introduction of a tiered plan, where you could pay more for more movies. Then they introduced “peak pricing.” Then they decided only CERTAIN movies would be available. But you didn’t know which ones, and you couldn’t be sure when, since it only showed movies for a certain day on the day of. There was no planning ahead.
Now, they have a whole different thing going on, where certain movies are offered in the morning, but by the time the theaters actually open, they have disappeared from the app. This is extra funny because the way the app works, you need to check in to the movie, and then purchase the ticket within 30 minutes. This new trick of theirs makes this impossible, as the movies have disappeared from the app within 30 minutes of the theater opening! I have no idea why they would do this. Advertising money? Providing extra frustration for customers hoping they will jump ship to another movie subscription service? I am clueless. All I know is, it is frustrating AF.
There are other companies popping up with alternatives to Moviepass, which look better by the day. There is AMC Stubs A-List, which offers unlimited movies (including IMAX!) and e-ticketing options in advance, but it’s twice as expensive and only good at AMC theaters. Then there is Sinemia, which is $10-$15/month, depending on how many movies you want to see. If you want to avoid a hassle, I would definitely say to switch. However, $20/month for movies is $240/year, which is a steep price! Also, if you are locked into an annual plan with Moviepass, you might be SOL like me.
I signed up for Moviepass through Costco, which was offering a $79/year annual pass. It seems crazy that I signed up for a year and they continued to change the plan on me! Actually, even Moviepass wasn’t sure at first if they could do it. At first, they continued to offer unlimited movies to annual subscribers, and they did not apply peak pricing. But then they said FUCK IT WE ARE SCREWING THEM ALL! And they did. As of today, there are 11 movies showing at the theater near my house, and only 2 of them are available on Moviepass. And of course it’s the shitty ones.
As an annual subscriber through Costco, there is an option to cancel my membership in the next 3 days, before August 31, for a refund. Costco is providing full refunds for anybody that cancels and is holding MoviePass funds in escrow/threatening legal action for changed/cancelled plans. I am strongly considering this, since the hassle is not worth it anymore. There are still movies I would like to see, but Sinemia seems like a much calmer way to do it.
And in the meantime, if I see one more email in my inbox from Mitch Lowe… Nevermind, I don’t know what I can do, there are no options! I did see 30 movies in 7 months for $79 though, so… whatevs. I should probably stop complaining.
The page from my bullet journal of all the movies I’ve seen… look at all those check marks!
I am 3 weeks post-ankle-sprain, and I am hoping to run my FINAL race of the 9+1 this Saturday. It has been a very long road to recovery, and I have not passed the proverbial finish line yet. Recovering from an injury in New York City has its own set of unique obstacles, just like being Sick in the City. Specifically, it’s an issue because we are required to be on our feet walking everywhere we go. Accordingly, it is more difficult to recover, and more difficult to live a normal life. I compiled a short list of my gimp-difficulties below.
STAIRS. Y’all, I never realized how many stairs I do in a day. Ok, I guess I did realize because my fitbit tells me, but it’s a LOT!! This particular injury made it relatively feasible to go UP stairs, but nearly impossible to go DOWN. I dare you to attempt taking the stairs down to the subway by slowly walking down each stair with both feet, and holding onto the railing, in rush hour. I have heard some nasty comments in my 8 years in New York, but nothing like when you get in the way of a person trying to run for the subway. Particularly when you appear to be a young, healthy person.
STANDING. There is a lot of standing. Especially when waiting for the subway. As you probably know from either the news, or personal experience, or my multiple blogs complaining about the MTA, the trains in New York are in unusually terrible shape, and it is common to wait 10-12 minutes for a train, especially at night. When standing is difficult, and the subway walls are covered in all sorts of bodily fluids, it becomes necessary to balance on one leg for long periods of time. Great balance work, but also V annoying.
SUBWAY BALANCING. This is an offshoot of the previous bullet point, but it is not common for a person to give up their seat for a seemingly healthy young person. Therefore, you must stand, or in my case, balance on one leg. I have found a few tricks for this, like for example, facing the direction the train is going, instead of sideways. My forward-backward balance is better on one leg. Also, I’m always ready to lose my balance a few times. I’m ready to receive more ugly looks and comments directed at my gimp self. #ShitHappens #ShittyPeopleHappen #NewYorkProblems
HEAT! This week has cooled down a bit, but last week’s triple-digit temperatures did NOT help my healing. The hotter it was, the more my ankle swelled and became more uncomfortable. No amount of icing helps when you leave your apartment and enter the almighty depths of Hades, right outside your front door.
RUNNING. I know what you’re thinking: “Why are you running if your ankle is busted?” I’m not talking about running for exercise, I’m talking about running out of necessity. Again, I didn’t realize how often I did this until I was unable to. There’s the quick “oh shit, I’m in the crosswalk and a cab is going to run me over if I don’t shuffle faster” run, or there’s the “I’m going to miss the bus that is one block away and then I’ll have to wait 20 more minutes” run. There is a lot of mandatory running.
Basically, it’s super hard to live in a city that never sleeps and never stops running when you’re unable to run. Here’s hoping I don’t fall in another pothole in the near future. Meanwhile, I hope you had stock in CVS because I have purchased at least 4 ankle braces from there. Am I missing anything on this list?
That’s right, I’m a gimp. Again. Some of you may remember my unfortunate ankle sprains right around the time I began this blog. It coincided (extremely unfortunately) with my very first half marathon. It was approximately 18 months ago. I had been completely free and clear of sprains until now! WAHHH.
You probably assume I was doing some sort of crazy exercise when I sprained it, like jumping on Spiderbands that were suspended from the ceiling or something. But no, I was walking. On my own two feet. And before you ask me the most offensive question, like emoji-bf did when I first told him, NO, I was not on my phone when it happened. My phone was actually in my pocket! This was doubly lucky because I get to tell everyone that “no, I am not careless, I am just clumsy,” and it’s also lucky because I fell completely on the ground and my phone probably would have shattered if I had dropped it.
I was casually walking on my way from work to the subway to go teach two classes at the gym. I looked left and right to cross the street (112th street on the west side), and unfortunately, I was too busy looking for crazy New York drivers to look down at the crazy New York streets. There was a huge pot hole in the crosswalk. I learned a very important lesson: potholes are not just dangerous for cars.
I fell to the ground and 3 people stopped for me, including a dad holding his two little sons’ hands. As I was falling, watching my fitness goals and dreams blow up before me in slow-motion, of course I screamed “SHIT!!!” I looked up to try and hobble out of the street before I was run over by a car, and I spotted the dad and his kids and I apologized for my curse words. The dad kept asking if I was ok and said his kids had heard worse. I’m sure that’s true; it’s New York, they probably heard worse just that morning. I was in a LOT of pain. I felt tears stinging at my eyes but I knew I couldn’t cry in front of these kids. One of them had a cast on his wrist already, so I just hoped my ankle wasn’t broken like him and tried to hop to the sidewalk.
After many rounds of “I swear I’m fine” as I blinked back tears and hopped down the street, I walked into a Famiglia Pizzeria and asked for a bag of ice. I was on my way to the gym, which meant I knew I had a good hour to ice my ankle on the subway. As luck would have it, the only other person in the pizzeria was an NYPD officer. He saw me standing flamingo-style on one leg and he looked down at my ankle. His eyebrows flew up to his hairline as he saw the swollen ankle and he asked if he should call me an ambulance. I adamantly said no (although it would have probably gotten me to the gym faster than the MTA), and then he asked if he could “take a look at my ankle.” I told him no thanks, because the last thing I wanted was a stranger touching it. I could barely touch it myself. He asked me where I was headed, and when I told him “the gym,” he looked at me like I was crazy and decided I was beyond help.
I double wrapped a plastic bag full of ice, hopped down the two flights of stairs to the subway, and iced my ankle all the way to Brooklyn. The hard part, of course, was that I was supposed to then teach two fitness classes. My first class was Spinning, where I sat on the saddle of the bike, and propped my ankle on the handlebars on top of a bag of ice. I barked orders at my class for a full hour on the microphone, while trying to numb my pain. It was the first spin class I ever sat through without breaking a sweat. One of my regulars told me it was one of the hardest classes I ever taught. I guess I’m mean when I’m in excruciating pain.
The next class was supposed to be kickboxing. LOL. Considering I couldn’t even stand, I was definitely not jumping or kicking anything. I set up interval stations around the room and told them what exercises to do, for 1 minute on, 30 seconds off. I finished the classes with 5 minutes of core work on our backs (I could do this!) and then I had to ask for help to get me off the floor. Pretty comical.
Having a sprained ankle in New York comes with a unique set of problems, since I am constantly required to be walking and standing to get around in the city. I am in the middle of compiling a list of Sprankle Problems. Stay tuned. For now, here are a few awesomely gnarly photos of my cankle. Enjoy.
