Online Shopping for My Mental Health

How are y’all doing? Depressed? Hopeless? In a constant state of “fuck my life?” Same, girl. But don’t worry, I have two solutions for you. They both involve your computer and a lot of money: online shopping, and booking that TRIP, baby!!!

Personally, I have found myself in a state of depression similar to where I was in April/May 2020. I’m talking peak Covid. Of course, I’m kidding, Covid has peaked multiple times higher since then, but y’all remember the feeling. Back in mid-2020, I found myself a fantastic coping mechanism. Why go to therapy when you can online shop?

You may remember the days in mid-2020. We were locked in our homes or we were staying with parents/relatives because we fled our own homes. We discovered TikTok and Tiger King. We were watching celebrities sing Beatles songs thinking that would fix the global pandemic. We were ruled by a crazy man who didn’t believe in science. It was a difficult time to be alive. Back then, I discovered many new hobbies that all involved spending money. I subscribed to FabFitFun. I bought 140 colors of nail dip powder. I bought a blow-up pool for the backyard. I was “thriving.”

Well, fast-forward two years and here we are again! If you are a woman, you wake up every day with less rights. If you are a person of color, you wake up every day with a twitter notification that the people who are employed to “protect and serve” have shot someone who looks like you 60 times in the back. If you don’t believe that Jesus is your savior, your religious “freedoms” are at risk constantly. Oh, and also, if you go to anywhere, to school, to the movies, to a parade, to the grocery store etc., you may get shot.

BUT DO NOT FRET. Online shopping is there to save you. Scared to go to the movie theater?? Just boot up that computer and type in jcrew.com. Scared you may never come home from the grocery store? Become a Maxxinista right from your couch. Afraid of having an ectopic pregnancy and then dying as a result of it? No worries, Farm Rio is having a sale!!

Last weekend, I was in peak depression, but then I remembered that I was going on a honeymoon in August. I needed new items!! “Needed.” I have no shorts that I love. So, I went to fashionnova.com. The serotonin boost was IMMEDIATE. But then I needed shirts and comfortable dresses so I hit up TJ Maxx online. And how can I forget adorable walkable sandals? DSW to the rescue. I am not sure if you think I’m kidding but I am not. I also may have finally pulled the trigger (pun intended) on two swimsuits from Summersalt that I have been coveting for years. THERE WAS A SALE.

Why do I love online shopping? I think it’s three things: predictability, excitement, and having something to look forward to. The predictability is great. I know there will be so many things to choose from, and they are right at my fingertips! Also, if you buy enough things, one or two of them are bound to fit. I also love the excitement of knowing I have packages coming. I open my USPS Informed Delivery email every morning, excited that the packages that are on the way are more than just toilet paper and dishwasher pods. It gives me something to wake up for in the morning! The real key is that you want predictability AND unpredictability. Surprise! I ordered so many things that I FORGOT one and I got an EXTRA package! Oh yes! The Tommy Bahama beach chairs with insulated pocket that fits 2 wine bottles! What a rush.

In case you have exhausted this form of serotonin rush, or your closet is completely packed to the gills, do not worry, I have another solution: BOOK A VACATION.

This seems self-explanatory but let me explain anyway. We wake up every day with the fear of death. This is literally what Drake was talking about when he coined the term YOLO. Book the trip, y’all. See new places. Visit new countries. Drink unlimited pina coladas on the beach. Go to a cabin with friends in the fall and spend every night drinking wine in the hot tub or around a fire pit. Use your vacation days. Or don’t! Work remotely and book that trip anyway.

I am trying to have something to look forward to every month. So far I’ve got a beach trip this week with my mom and sister. Then August I have a wedding in Boston and a honeymoon. Then September I have nothing but that’s just gearing up for October, when I will spend half the month in Australia. Then November, I have a work trip and I am trying to plan a Northeast cabin trip with friends. Then of course Thanksgiving when I’ll go see my parents and HOPEFULLY have the Macy’s Parade to look forward to. December of course will be Christmas with Chris’s family. It’s looking like a busy and fun rest of 2022!

I recommend planning constant vacations to give you a sense of predictability and something to look forward to. Extra bonus, you may need to do some online shopping for vacation-worthy outfits!