OKCupid First Date-iversary

Today is my 2-year anniversary. Scratch that, my boyfriend thinks that today is our 2-year anniversary. If you ask me, it isn’t until August 1. But we can both agree that today is the 2-year anniversary of our first date. It’s in my Google calendar, which is shared with his Google calendar, and therefore, it is true.

It’s our anniversary of our first date, which also means it’s the anniversary of me meeting him since we met on OkCupid. That also means that before 2 years ago today, I had no idea that he existed. Maybe I knew a little bit through a few messages, but of course that doesn’t mean that he was who he said he was. Nev, Max, and way too many seasons of Catfish have taught us that.

On the night of our first date, I almost stood him up. Too much time watching Catfish, I guess. And To Catch a Predator. Damn you, Chris Hansen. But honestly, there are so many things that can go wrong on a first online date. You’ve never met the guy, you don’t know any of his friends to vouch for him, and you probably haven’t been able to stalk him too much online with very little information. (JK I knew this guy’s entire family tree before going out on a date with him… but I’m a pro). Anyway, point is, it’s a crap-shoot.

I was on OkCupid for 5 whole years before I met my 😊-boyfriend, which provided me with a lot of blog material. My bf won’t let me talk about him on here, and he won’t let me show his face, but he didn’t say I couldn’t talk about how I felt about him! For today, as a celebration of our anniversary/first-date-iversary, I am going to share with you a recounting of the moments on OkCupid leading up to our first date in stream of consciousness, since I was lucky enough to say “f*ck it,” and I met up with my ❤ two years ago today:

• New message. And this one says more than “hey.”
• *quick scan* Nothing sexually explicit, I’ll read on.
• OMG he mentioned that I am a law student, did he actually read my profile? This might be good.
• Sh*t what does my profile actually say? I better re-read that.
• HAHA I’m funny. Ok, no wonder he messaged me.
• Hmmm ok so my profile is a little bit out of date, I graduated law school two years ago. Should I tell him?
• I guess I should at least write this guy back. He did read my profile.
• We have written each other four times now. Maybe he just wants a pen pal?
• I don’t have time for a freaking pen pal. I’m 28! Eff this guy.
• But maybe I should take screen shots of his profile just in case. Then I can show my friends what he looks like without him knowing I go on his page every day.
• He wrote me again! How many messages are we going to write??
• He seems really nice. Should I ask him out? LOL jk def not. He’s probably a serial killer.
• Yassss he asked me for my number.
• Damnit but now I have to wait around and see if he texts me.
• He’s probably not a serial killer. Unless he is…
• Hold on, I never told him my name!!
• Is he going to call me LawyerWithLegs if we meet IRL?
• Ok, I usually don’t double-message but I should probably tell him my name before we meet.
• He texted me! He sounded semi-normal.
• He asked me out for this week. Crap. I’m busy every single day this week. I should have realized that before.
• Wait, why isn’t HE busy every single day? This is NYC! Is he a loser?
• I’m free Friday… but do I really want to waste a Friday night hanging out with some rando I’ve never met?
• Alright fine. My dad asked me 3 years ago if I froze my eggs. I should probably try and date.
• He’s free Friday. Hmmm, no grammar errors. That would have been an easy excuse for me to cancel.
• Why is the subway 3 blocks from my apartment?? And why did I agree to go on a date in June?
• Good thing I just spent 2 hours getting ready, I’m covered in sweat.
• Ok I only spent 30 minutes getting ready. BUT STILL.
• Why did I wear a dress with no back? I bet you can see the little droplets of sweat…
• 1 block til the subway. I should have brought extra deodorant. No wonder I’m single.
• Let me scroll through screen shots of his profile to brush up on conversation topics.
• OMG I have nothing in common with this guy.
• Should I text my friends for after-crash-and-burn-date-plans?
• Hopefully we order drinks ASAP.
• Thank goodness for those 3 glasses of wine I had while getting ready.
• Maybe that’s why I’m so hot. Nvm I’m hot because it’s JUNE. I don’t date in June. This is against my cardinal rules.
• I wonder if he online-stalked me. Good thing I’ve got my privacy settings on LOCK.
• Obvi I online-stalked him. He doesn’t even have a Facebook. This is going to be bad. Really bad.
• Did I remember to tell him I wasn’t a law student? OY VEY.
• Oh well, here goes nothing. At the very least, it will make for some great Facebook statuses.

And the rest is history! Happy Anniversary to my best friend with the emoji face (see below for some punny photos). He told me he is weeks behind on my blog, even though I only post 1-2 times a week! Maybe he will see this by the end of Year #3. I’m glad I didn’t stand you up, I’m glad I double-messaged you my name, I’m glad you still met up with me even after learning I quit the practice of law (turns out I did tell him), and I’m glad you sat through an entire dinner with me without mentioning how sweaty I was when I showed up. xoxo