The Great Jack-O’-Lantern Blaze

IT’S OCTOBER! The best month of the year for basic betches everywhere. It’s the month of the PSL, the month of the best holiday ever involving costumes and booze (more on that another time), the season of apple picking and other insagrammable white betch things, PLUS if you work for the Jews, it’s the month where we work half the time and get paid the same amount. That’s a win-win. But even more, it’s the month of PUMPKIN ERRTHING. Pumpkin candles. Pumpkin coffee creamer. Pumpkin cookies. Pumpkin-colored president. UGH.

Anyway, I’ve never met a pumpkin I didn’t love, besides the rotting ones in November. When my best friend sent me a link about something called “The Great Jack O’Lantern BLAZE” I was 100% in. Then I saw that NPH has been there with his twins, and I was 125% in. Did it live up to my expectations? HELL YES. Did I see NPH? Unfort no. I guess I’ll have to hang out in Harlem more.

Arguably the best thing about the BLAZE is their FAQ page, addressing incredibly pressing and hard-hitting questions like “what is a pumpkin?” and “It’s raining and I dress exclusively in suede. Can I get a refund or exchange my tickets?” and “Did I mention I’m studying for a certificate in Freudian analysis?” Answer: “Great, you might enjoy our installation of shrunken heads.”

Seriously, the FAQ page is legendary. But they also answer some of the questions you may actually be wondering about like how many pumpkins are involved and how long they’ve been doing it. Answers: 7,000+ hand-carved jack-o’-lanterns for 13 years running. Each BLAZE involves ordering more than 10,000 live pumpkins, because they don’t survive the whole time. This equals a total of more than 200,000 pounds of pumpkin!!! They start carving in JUNE and they are helped by more than 2,600 volunteers. The carvers are led by Creative Director Michael Natiello, who leads a team of Historic Hudson Valley staff and local artists.

The best news for you, it’s just begun!! It goes through November! The bad news is that a lot of the best tickets have ALREADY sold out! Click here to purchase them ($22/person, which may seem steep, or may seem like a BARGAIN depending on the strength of your pumpkin-love).

Being “real” New Yorkers, we didn’t have a car to drive to the BLAZE, but luckily for us, we have legs and unlimited metrocards. The only tickets left were for 9 pm, so we embarked on our Pumpkin Journey at 6:45 pm just to be safe. We took the 1 train to 225^th street, then hopped on the MetroNorth for a 45-minute ride deep into the burbs, $11 round trip. Not bad! They didn’t even check our ticket on the way there. What a waste. Anyone want to go back? I’ve got a ticket!

Anyway, after our journey, which included a 13-minute brisk walk along the highway, we found the entrance. They sold pumpkin EVERYTHING. From headbands with jack-o’-lantern antennae to pumpkin curry. Oh, and of course pumpkin pie. But before refreshments we had to walk through the jungle-o’-jack-o’-lanterns. Holy cow. You walk in and immediately see this massive bridge made of pumpkins, aptly named the Pumpkin-Zee Bridge, as well as a full-on Statue of Liberty (Statue of Pumpkin?). Van Cortland Manor was completely transformed with LED lights and thousands of intricately carved orange fruits. Yes, according to the FAQ page, they are fruits from the gourd family.

There is “spooky” music piped in throughout the manor, and the jack-o’-lanterns are organized by theme, from a huge spider web with spiders, to a walking dead/Sleepy Hollow graveyard. There are fish in the “water” on both sides of the Pumpkin-Zee Bridge, not to mention the many moving aspects. There’s a working grandfather clock made of pumpkins, as well as a fully functional carousel. Maybe not fully functional since we weren’t allowed to ride on it, but still. I was impressed.

Some of the pumpkins were super intricate. Especially the possums. I took so many photos my phone nearly died from pumpkin-overload.

After we made our way through the whole manor, we did some mandatory pumpkin-posing, as one does, and then we got some warm apple cider and a cider doughnut. TBH, this was 50% of the reason for going. Gotta get those cider doughnuts. It’s the official food of October! We made the long trek back to the city and arrived home after midnight. Some may say we are crazy, I just say we are incredibly passionate about the white betch cause. So was it worth it? You tell me!! How cute are my Instagram pics? These ones? How about this boomerang? #WorthIt.