Travel

Seattle and Vancouver

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I have been neglecting you guys!! My loyal blog-readers. Well I am back, hopefully with a vengeance. Things in my life have been crazy recently, between realizing we couldn’t afford the crazy rent increase for our apartment, trying to find an apartment within 2 weeks’ time, applying for an apartment… ok, this whole apartment business deserves its own blog post, which is coming soon.

Anyway, I’ve been busy. And one of the reasons is because I’ve been gallivanting around the west coast of the US and Canada with my best friend. I know, I know, play the world’s smallest violin for me. Too bad, so sad.

I had a blast. I can’t share all of the details from my trip on here because, quite frankly, you don’t want to read them. But I will give a highlights reel in bullet-point form, because lists are easier to read, and hopefully this way you don’t skim through all of my hard, carpal-tunnel-inducing work on LongLegsBigCity.

  • Flight actually left on time. WHAT? Crazy. Yes, this requires its own bullet point. I highly recommend JetBlue to absolutely anyone. Also, their points NEVER EXPIRE. And they have free wifi! And legroom! This trip was off to a great start.
  • Late night happy hour at Toulouse Petit. Their menu touts that it was rated 5th Greatest Restaurant in the USA by TripAdvisor. It was good but that is very aggressive.
  • First Day: Food tour of Pike’s Place Market. Highly recommend, yet again. I’d been to Pike’s Place before, but I learned so much history from the tour guide! Also, we got to eat at 6 different places (Daily Dozen Doughnut Co., Elleno’s Greek Yogurt, Beecher’s Handmade Cheese, Pike Place Chowder, Chukar Cherries, Piroshky Piroshky AND Etta’s Seafood). How could that be bad??
  • Drove to Vancouver. Holy hell that took a long time. Who knew that border-crossing lines took long than Disneyworld pre-fast-pass? We arrived 2 hours later than planned. Thank goodness we bought $30 in gas station snacks for the 3-hour (turned 5-hour) drive.
  • Our air BnB was awesome!! It was an adventure trying to get the keys though. There was a fire exit involved. Also, the way the host gave us the keys… he just left the door propped open? For how long, no one knows. I made my friend come with me and check every closet and shower (there were 2.5 bathrooms!) for a hiding serial killer. Spoiler Alert: there were no serial killers.
  • The Parking pass our Air Bnb guy gave us for the parking garage (one of the reasons we picked this air bnb) clearly stated 6-hour-parking all over it. Also, the spots in the garage said that. We were worried all weekend that we would be towed. Air bnb man did not speak English very well in his messages and his response “Sure! 😊” to our question “The parking pass says 6 hours. Can we park there overnight? Will we get towed?” did not help. Spoiler Alert #2: we were not towed. PHEW!
  • Discovered 2 liquor stores within 3 blocks walking distance. Purchased booze at said liquor stores. This also came in handy later.
  • Hooked up to the wifi, googled best dinner places. Found a place called Gringo. The reviews for the food were FAMAZING, and they had drinks called “White Girl W@$sted” and “Poor Man’s Sangria.” We knew we had to go. The wait was 45 minutes AND it was raining. But after 20 minutes, we were tipped off that we could go inside and take tequila shots while we waited. Game changed. Food was AMAZING (especially after the tequila shots).
  • Day 2: Hit the free gym in the condo complex first to sweat out some tequila. Works every time. Pro Tip: Running on a treadmill with a hangover is bad in every country. Even with the lights dimmed.
  • It stopped raining! Tried to go on a walking tour of Vancouver. Couldn’t find the fountain meeting place. Asked inside a museum. Was informed that the plaza was “re-landscaped” aka paved over, and there was no fountain anymore. Still couldn’t find the walking tour. Did come across a man cleaning a public restroom. He found a Livestrong Bracelet in the toilet. Remember those? We gave up on the walking tour.
  • We decided to instead give ourselves a walking tour on our way to brunch. Great compromise. We walked around downtown and then ended up at Lamplighter Pub for a Bluegrass Brunch. It was amazing because they served poutine and did a bluegrass version of Hit Me Baby One More Time. It was already a great day.
  • We walked alllll the way to Granville Market mostly because we had time, and it had stopped raining. Also, because I had just eaten poutine. Granville was adorable. Lots of food booths, but after our 80-minute walk we were tired.
  • We took a cab back to our condo. I LEFT MY CELL PHONE IN THE CAB. Uber doesn’t exist in Vancouver, so we had no way to track it. Of course my cellular data was off because I was in Canada so I couldn’t call it. I tried to track down the cab from my credit card charge, but it wasn’t even pending yet. I found a Parking Police Person. I asked her what to do. She told me to try and remember what color the cab was, and find the company to call based on that color. Unfortunately, I thought it was blue and my best friend thought it was yellow. Also, I didn’t have a phone to call a company. My best friend google-image-searched Vancouver cabs, and was CONVINCED it was from a company called Black Top Cabs based on the photos. I scheduled a cab by using their website. Two minutes later, a cab pulled up, and it looked just like the one we were in… but it wasn’t. I asked the driver to call dispatch and ask about a cab coming from Granville where the customer left a phone. Sure enough I hear someone over the radio say “Yep, I’ve got it.” (WTF!?). The dispatch said “Either you can go get it or he can bring it to you but he may charge a $15 delivery charge” (aka like $12 American). I am not an idiot so I said PLEASE PLEASE BRING IT. I prepared to wait on the street for a while. Less than 3 minutes later, the guy pulled up with my phone. I handed him $20 American, and he seemed thrilled. It worked out for both of us. Cue the 3-minute walk to the liquor store because I REALLY needed it at that point.
  • Pre-drinking at the condo. Planning out Spain girls’ trip for May. (SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!) Googled “Best Indian Food in Vancouver.” Discovered Salam Bombay. So. Delicious.
  • We wanted to go dancing and failed miserably the night before, so we tried harder the second night. We even waited in a non-moving line at a club. We eventually gave up and started wandering looking for a bar. We came across Relish The Pub. We saw a woman dancing like crazy inside. Just one woman. She was a bodybuilder. She did bodybuilding poses every 2 minutes within her dance marathon. We knew it was up to us to join the party. They had an amazing DJ who played all of our requests. We danced for 3 hours straight. We got 14,000 steps after midnight. My Fitbit registered more than 2 hours of “aerobic activity.”
  • At one point in the night, my friend pointed to the floor and said “look.” I looked. It was $100!!! In American money, nonetheless. She told me later she thought it was $1! This paid for our next night.
  • Late night shawarma.
  • Meaning well, we set the alarm to go to the gym. It didn’t happen. I checked my fitbit. Remembered the 14,000 steps after midnight. Decided it was ok.
  • Drove back toward Seattle. Both of us had Global Entry so we got to drive in the fastpass Nexus Lane. It saved us at least an hour at the border!
  • We stopped for a stretch break and walk at Deception Pass. Photos do not do it justice. SO. BEAUTIFUL.
  • Lunch in La Conner, WA at Santo Coyote. We had amazing (and inexpensive) food this whole trip.
  • Relaxed at my bff’s house for a quick bit, while her psycho-energetic-puppy jumped all over us. Then we googled “Best Ice Cream in Seattle.” I can’t help myself! #30Years30IceCreams will stay with me forever. We met up with one of her friends at Kurt Farm Shop, where we had cheese ice cream, and many other unique and delicious flavors. It left a weird film on the roof of my mouth, but besides that, it was pretty darn good.
  • Even with this bullet list, is this blog getting long? I think it is. I’ll try to wrap up. We did so many things!!
  • Day 4: MLK Day. Hike up Little Si with Charlie (the girl puppy with a boy name). She was happy we brought her. The views were amazing! A totally clear day in January in Seattle. Complete miracle.
  • I met my best friend’s boyfriend at dinner. We went to Tai Tung, which is famous for being Bruce Lee’s favorite restaurant. He even has a table dedicated to him. But more importantly, I got to meet my BFF’s bf. This is important because I have a history of hating her boyfriends. I know hate is a strong word, but it’s entirely appropriate here. Anyway, I actually liked this one! MIRACLE. Also, he picked up the tab. Doesn’t hurt. We made him take home the leftovers.
  • Went to VERY divey dive bar called Joe’s. VERY. Divey. Cash only. They don’t even have a website for me to link. I was introduced to pull-tabs. We won $4!! We spent $20… but still. All drinks paid for by our found Benjamin.
  • Late night 2nd Dinner at Ba Bar. Vietnamese. Pho. Moscow Mules at Late Night Happy Hour price. Who could ask for more?
  • Day 5: SEGWAY TOUR OF SEATTLE!! Y’all know I love to Segway. The tour guide kind of sucked, but Segway-ing is so fun it didn’t even matter. Plus, we got a Groupon! Plus, it wasn’t raining! PLUS, it was called Magic Carpet Glide. It couldn’t be bad.
  • Lunch at Ivar’s. Fish and Chips. So. Good. Plus the view was amazing. It still wasn’t raining!
  • Stopped at Tiffany’s. Had to make sure my BFF knows the kind of ring I want. You never know, right? 😉 LOL
  • Spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch watching Sex & the City DVD’s to round out a perfect trip.
  • My flight back to NYC left EARLY! JETBLUE FTW. 21 days ‘til my next flight. Also JetBlue because I am now a loyal customer.
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Travel

Fall Festivals and Suburbia

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It’s December 6, 2017, and there are Christmas lights everywhere you look. I guess that means it’s finally Fall? It’s hard to tell, you know, since it was 60 degrees 2 days ago. All I know is, I have been ready for weeks, and I may have gotten excited and ordered 2 – ok, 4 – coats on Black Friday/Cyber Monday, so I am officially ready to be decked out!

Unfortunately, this year, as I am every year, I got carried away early and wanted to celebrate my favorite season of the year a little bit too early. There’s really nothing better than boots, tights, and a comfortable sweater-dress, AMIRITE?

Six weeks ago, in mid-October, I was already gearing up for the season and decided to take a quick jaunt to the suburbs to deck myself out for Fall Festivals. Unfortunately… it was still 70 degrees. I didn’t let it stop me! I put on my sundress and got down and dirty with some pumpkins and hay bales.

The real reason for this trip to the burbs was to see my parents, and so that my emoji bf, for the first time in our almost 2.5 years of dating, could see where my parents live. It was a quick trip for him, because we left after work Friday, and he had to be back to work on Sunday, but we tried to make the most of our 36 hours in the suburbs.

Friday night started with our arrival into 30th Street Station. If you’ve never been, you should really see it for yourself. Cathedral ceilings in the main atrium, cavernous hallways, it really looks like something straight out of the movies. In fact, it has been in a lot of movies: 1981 film Blow Out, the 1983 film Trading Places, the 1985 film Witness, the 2000 film Unbreakable, the 2010 video game Heavy Rain, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 2 Episode 7, and the 2015 film The Visit. (Thanks Wikipedia).

Anyway, after leaving the station, we went to my parents’ house for a home cooked meal. I cook at home pretty often, but nothing beats a meal cooked by mom! Plus, I can revert to my childhood ways and assume that if I bring my dishes to the sink, they will magically be put in the dishwasher! (Thanks Mommy!)

We went to bed relatively early, because we had a big day of Fall Festivals the next day. Unfortunately, by the time we got ready and hit the Wawa (DUH), the Fall festival was over!!

ALWAYS stop at Wawa. Even if it means missing the festival.

It was only from 11 am – 2 pm. What kind of rinky-dink festival is that!? I was horrified. I guess that’s what the suburbs are. Or what children’s festivals are. Luckily for us, even though the festival was over, most of the props were still out and available for photo opps, which is really all that matters, obvi. #DoItForTheInsta.

We took some photos, walked around a bit, then headed home for a midday siesta, and for the emoji boyfriend to do some work. The markets never close!! Ok, they do, but it seems like they don’t. Sigh.

That night, we hit up the local delicious Chinese food place, where we stuffed ourselves and in true suburban style, did not walk at all, except to the parking lot where we got in the car to drive home. What a perfect night.

The next day we went home separately because I require beauty sleep, which does not go well with emoji-bf’s plans to take 7 am Amtrak, thankyouverymuch. I took a 3 pm Septa and rode home with the plebs.

Moral of the story? Autumn is more fun in the suburbs, but in this day and age (cough cough GLOBAL WARMING cough cough), you should probably wait until December, and not October, to experience fallen leaves and boots.

Great props. Sephora adding some ambiance. Also notice my flip flops.
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Travel

Durham, North Carolina

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WEEKS ago I went to North Carolina for the first time. Since then, I have been to 4 other states, but my travel schedule hasn’t allowed me to keep up with my blogging schedule so I am here to fill you in. The best part about delaying a travel recap blog for weeks is that my memory fades, so I can only give you the Cliff Notes, abridged version of my trip. Trust me, this is better for both of us.

TL;DR: I went to Durham, NC 4 weeks ago for emoji-bf’s cousin’s wedding. The first day I explored alone, I had amazing coffee, tried out a new fitness studio, saw friends I had not seen in a decade, and met their kids (mind. blown). I explored the Duke Chapel and met very nice Uber drivers. I practiced all my professional wedding guest tips, danced a LOT, was very much a token light-skinned person, learned what the Liberian Grand March is, and I drank a lot.

Some highlights:

Let’s start with something I’m sure my emoji bf would consider a highlight more than I did. Our flight was delayed, as it ALWAYS is. Emoji-man and I have epically bad flight luck together. It’s basically inevitable that we will be delayed 1-24 hours on at least one leg of any trip we take together. This time, the delay was three hours, so we arrived in to North Carolina at 2:15 am instead of before midnight. At that point, I called an Uber. I knew we were staying at the Marriott City Center, so we waited ten minutes (not bad for 2:30 am in NC), and we hopped in our Uber. We arrived at the hotel to find that they did not have a reservation. I was not pleased. It was after 3 am and I looked to emoji bf with a large emoji question mark on my face. He insisted he had made a reservation. Welllllll, turns out it was 100% my fault, because we were staying at the Marriott City Center in Durham, and I had put in the Uber app the closest Marriott City Center, which was 2 minutes closer, in Raleigh. OOPS. I promptly called another Uber and we finally settled into our room in Durham around 4 am. Emoji bf was sure to tell me multiple times that if it had been his mistake, I would not have been pleased. He won this one, I would have been PISSED.

The next morning I woke up and after a night of sitting in airports and traveling, I was ready to get moving. I had done my research on fitness studios in the Durham area – clearly more in-depth research than I did on where our actual hotel was. I googled “best fitness studios in Durham” and saw that the third studio listed was walking distance from our hotel. Also, I was used to drop-in class prices in NYC being $25-42/class, and I saw that SyncStudio had $14 classes. You couldn’t beat that… I THOUGHT. WRONG! They have a partnership with this thing called ZenRez, where you can get last-minute offers for same day classes, used to fill the classes. I got my class for $9! I booked it on my phone, grabbed my lululemon and my phone (thank goodness for Google maps), and made my way to SyncStudio. The people in the lobby of the hotel thought I was crazy for walking there, but it only took 11 minutes door to door. Suburbanites. Anyway, I went to a TRX Circuit class taught by Kyle, and he used an all-Rihanna playlist. I had a BLAST and I was sore for days! It was an awesome class, only made better by Kyle’s energy and music. I now follow him on Spotify and so should you. We also took an awesome boomerang and gif. Find us trending on Instagram.

I spent the rest of the day exploring Durham. I ate a DELICIOUS panini at Toast, which I discovered from FourSquare. Am I the only one who still uses that? Anyway, it was so good that I actually posted a pic on Instagram of my food, a big no-no. I also had a strange but amazing chocolate habanero cold brew coffee from another FourSquare suggestion, The Parlour. It’s known for its ice cream, but I highly recommend cold brew as an alternative. I walked around for a few hours taking in the city (/village) and discovering amazing murals and street art throughout.

That night, there was a pre-wedding welcome night, but it didn’t start until 10 pm, and I was kindly informed that it would be running on CPT, so we should not arrive before 11:30 pm. That left me with a lot of time, so I arranged a rendezvous with two of my long-lost friends from high school and college. One of the friends, I met from MySpace when he was in the Army and I was in my junior year of high school. Myspace, guys. That’s how long I’ve known him. Anyway, we became best friends throughout college after he left the military, and he now has a wife and child, neither of whom I had met. My second friend I also know from high school, where she was an amazing volleyball player, winning the state championship for the school, and I would chase after balls trying to keep up with her in gym class.  We also went to college together (Go Gators!), where we lived in the same apartment complex and people frequently thought we were the same person. I still don’t understand that. She ALSO now has a husband and a child, neither of whom I have met. I dragged my emoji man to Motorco, which has “college-friendly prices” (quote from emoji’s sister), and we had a fun night reminiscing and catching up on one another’s lives. The best part of traveling the country for weddings is catching up with friends from near and far.

 

Saturday started out rough because I had way too much to drink at the college reunion, and then even more at the pre-wedding 11:30 pm gathering. But no matter, I went to the hotel gym to sweat it out with all of emoji’s family, sans emoji-bf himself. Emoji’s older sister challenged me to a plank-off, where I proceeded to sweat piles of gin onto the floor. After a shower, I dragged emoji out of the hotel to explore the Duke Chapel, as suggested by a friendly Uber driver the night prior. The architecture was breathtaking, and it was fun to be on a college campus on a game day, even though we didn’t get close to the stadium.

After Duke, we went back to the hotel to clean ourselves up for the wedding. I was impressed with us. Sometimes I forget how I look when my hair isn’t soaked in sweat. Gross but true. The ceremony took place in a Baptist church, where I was almost definitely the only one thoroughly confused by everything going on. Thankfully, I know enough about weddings to smile and wait for the vows, which made me cry, as usual. Then, after the ceremony, I was instructed to stay back for what is the #1 most awkward thing for every plus one at every wedding ALWAYS: PHOTO TIME. Do I go in the photo? Do I not? Is 2.5 years of a relationship enough to get a spot? Or do I wait until I have an engagement ring? Or a wedding band? What is “family?” In this case, it is extra difficult because I don’t exactly blend in with the rest of the family. The last thing I want is to be in a photo that the bride and groom do not want me to be in. I think my heart rate was elevated 20 BPM from the stress. OY VEY! (Am I allowed to say that in a Baptist church??) Ultimately, I did not go in the photos, but then was dragged in for the last 3.

Next up: The reception!! I gave you my tips earlier this week about how to rock a reception, and I practiced all of my tips religiously. The second I stepped in the room, I found the open bar. Sure enough, there was already a line. I parked myself in line, ordered two drinks, and learned the bartender’s name. The rest of the night went smoothly from there. The speeches were short and sweet, and the entrances of the bridal and groom’s parties were epic, each with their own dance moves. I hit the dance floor myself and I even learned and did the Liberian Grand March. One of emoji’s cousin’s explained the Grand March to me, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had done it before. After a few more minutes, it dawned on me that it was simply a combination of the Conga line and the Israeli Folk Dance Yesh Lanu Tayish. Basically, years of South Florida Bar Mitzvahs prepared me for this specific combination of dances and this exact day. I knew I had to be training for something. The night was a BLAST, and luckily, the reception was across the street from our hotel so we could stumble back and pass out. I stuffed a few extra of the party favors, Dove chocolates, in my purse for the plane the next day, (that little remnant of Jewish grandmother in me never ceases to surprise me), and I headed out.

Only 1 day left until The Last Wedding of 2017. I’ll keep you posted!

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Travel

Florida and Friends

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3 weeks ago I went to Florida to visit my friends. I left a part of my heart in South Florida, where I grew up, but I never seem to make it there to visit more than once a year. Ever since my family moved to Pennsylvania, I have felt a bit like a kid with separated parents – splitting my time and my holidays between my blood-family and my second-family, my Florida friends! I won’t recount my entire trip here because it would take forever, and also because it was mostly LOTS of drinking, but I will give you a list of some highlights:

  • Rosh Hashana dinner with my friend’s family at Seasons 52. If you don’t know what Seasons 52 is, it’s basically a calorie-conscious restaurant. This one happens to be in East Boca Raton, which means it’s the most calorie-conscious franchise around. The whole menu has the calories on it (luckily the cocktails don’t), and you’re likely to hear nobody order directly off of the menu. It’s more taboo to order something directly off the menu than it is to get a wedding dress off-the-rack. GASP. You absolutely must always use the menu only as a starting-off point, then make sure to make at least 4 substitutions, and order at least 2 of the 4 ingredients on the side. Light on the dressing. 3 drops, not 4. My friend ordered a Bourbon Bramble with Vodka, and apologized 3 times for the liquor substitution. Our server promptly told us that it was the simplest order he had all day.
  • The beach. I love the beach. Waves, warm water, sand in my butt. Ok, maybe not the last one.
  • Chivalry! I almost forgot the concept after living in Florida for so long. I think I may have touched on this in my blog about things I forgot about Florida, but I had to mention it again here. Actually, maybe I didn’t mention it. But you should still read that blog. There were so many chairs given up for me that I lost count. And not only are drinks drastically less expensive in Florida, but they are often free because guys buy them for you. What a fantastic world we live in.
  • Visiting a Rothschild mansion. One of my friend’s friends is the caretaker for an amazing mansion owned by the Rothschilds. They only rent it out 5 days/month, and the rest of the time it is hers! We went over there and got the grand tour. And took photos, because duh.
  • Bru’s Room. I freaking love that place. I dream about their mozzarella wedges. I’m actually surprised I didn’t take a photo of them. I’ll let you imagine them instead – picture this: Mozzarella Sticks, but larger, with more cheese, and stretchier. And then more delicious warm cheese. And did I mention that Bru’s Room also has $5 Skyy doubles? I think I made money just traveling to Florida.
  • Pollo Tropical (I love food, ok?). The main highlight of my trip (besides, of course, seeing my friends), was going to Pollo Tropical. Not just going, but bribing my Uber driver to take me there after a 5-hour-long Happy Hour. I told our nice driver that I would order him anything off the menu if he would take this detour for us. The max price on that menu is $7.99 so I was confident I’d come out on top for this deal. Sure enough, after ordering 4 TropiChops (the leftovers make for a FANTASTIC hungover breakfast), our Uber driver delivered us to our final destination. Best part??? Uber sent me an email the next morning, apologizing to me for my ride taking “longer than expected” and giving me $5 off my next ride!! That TropiChop paid for itself! God is good! And that curry mustard… y’all, I think there is crack in it. You heard it here first.
  • Watching Florida Football with Floridians. New Yorkers are a lot of things, but they are not big college football fans. They just don’t get it. We spent a full 12 hours eating and watching college football. There’s nothing like it!
  • Brunch: seeing my friends and their kids. It’s crazy to think that my partying friends now have little offspring running around depending on their parenting. But as it often is with kids, they grow up so much in so little time! It’s fun to see them grow up, and I always hope they remember who I am. I got to see everyone at a farewell brunch on the beach and it was amazing.
  • Randomly running into people from high school. Moving to a different state, it’s rare I run into people I have known for a long time. It does happen, though, this city is big, but it’s also small. Anyway, I went to a bar in Delray Beach and I happened to know both of the bartenders! One of them went to my high school, and our last names had us seated next to each other in almost every class. The other one was roommates with my first boyfriend when I was 19.
  • Speaking of boyfriends, the best part of my trip was having my emoji-faced bf surprise me by coming for a day and a half! I was hoping he’d be able to come to Florida to meet all of my friends, but he had been so busy with work, I didn’t think he’d be able to make the trip. Sure enough, the first morning I was in Florida, he told me he had a surprise for me, and told me to check his Google Calendar (yes, we share calendars, we are that couple). First, I thought he meant that he was getting the new iPhone (he had an appointment at the apple store), but then he said “no, look at Saturday!” and I saw that he was going to wake up at the crack of dawn to get in to Fort Lauderdale at 9:30 am. What a guy. I loved having him there, and I’m so glad he got to meet everyone from my formative years. He even got a taste of the South Florida club.
  • Visiting my best friend’s mom. Although some of my friends have left to different corners of the USA, some of their families still live in Florida. I always try to fit in a visit or two. This time, I got to see my bff from high school’s mom and she got to meet my emoji-bf for the first time! He even revealed his face to her. Unfort. you guys don’t get to see it here.

Every time I leave Florida, I feel nostalgic for the days when I went out every night to bars and of course, out dancing until dawn at the club – all those Fitbit steps before there was a such thing as a Fitbit! But my hangover on the last day of the trip proved to me that I may be a bit older than I was back then. It was nice to get back to New York and lay in bed for a week. That is, until my next trip/wedding in North Carolina this past weekend. Blog about that coming soon!

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Travel

Forgotten Florida Facts

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I lived in Florida for 13 years, and in the 7 years since I left, I forgot a few things. I was lucky enough to spend last weekend (and Rosh Hashanah) in Florida, like 7 million other old Jews, and it reminded me of these unique Floridian things:

  • Beach towels. Bring them everywhere. Do not fret if you forget them, every other person coming to the beach will have a few extras in the trunk of their car. Or an old sheet. You can see from the feature photo that we had enough towels for three of us to lay on. Miss you already, ladies!
  • Publix, Where Shopping is a Pleasure. They now have Wawa popping up all over Florida and you all know I have a special place in my heart for a hoagie. But absolutely nothing beats a Chicken Tender Pub Sub.
  • Publix bags. Everyone has them. Dog poop. Kitty litter. Sweaty clothes. Wet swimsuits. They are so multi-purpose. And you always knows where to find them. Under the sink! In every single house, without fail.

  • Humidity. There’s no such thing as walking in Florida. It’s basically just swimming. Don’t even bother owning a blow-dryer or a straightening iron. Every minute you spend trying to do your hair is just another minute of your life you will never get back. And your hair will frizz out within 10 seconds of leaving the house anyway. Don’t bother.
  • Concealed carry. And I’m not even talking about guns, I’m talking about booze. Since everyone needs to drive to get places, they can’t drink til they get there! Gotta pack mini bottles of liquor in the purse. Then Uber home, of course. What did we do before Uber!?!
  • “Season.” If you are from South Florida, I don’t need to say any more. For you non-Floridians, no, I’m not talking about winter, spring, summer, or fall. One of my friends works at a country club, and she is off for 6 weeks right now, “between summer and season.” This is snowbird season. When the entire 70+ year-old-population of the northeast USA and Canada descends on Florida. This is also sometimes known as Q-tip season, so-named for the white puffy fluffy tops-of-heads you can see barely visible above the steering wheels. Wear your seat belt year-round, but DEF wear it from October-March.
  • The worst drivers in the world. I’m not just talking about the Q-Tips. Drivers in Florida are horrific. I mean, we don’t even have to parallel park to pass the driving test. And we get our licenses when we are 16. And keep them through death. Basically, anyone can pass the test. At least by the second time they take it (cough cough, me).
  • Bipolar weather. The weather in Florida is CRAZY. Unlike anywhere else. One may infer that by saying “bipolar,” I mean that it changes often. Perhaps I should call it multiple personality weather. Meaning it’s a million different things AT THE SAME DAMN TIME. Totally mind-blowing. I remember when I was growing up in Florida, sometimes it was raining in the front of the house but not in the back. I am not exaggerating. On my first day in Florida last weekend, we were driving to the beach and we got caught in a terrible rain storm. So bad that people were driving 15 MPH on I-95. It takes a pretty bad storm for Florida drivers to slow down. See above. Anyway, in any other place, you’d probably abandon your beach plans in this weather, but in Florida, we looked east and realized it was actually beautiful and sunny by the beach. Sure enough, when we got to the beach it was hot, sunny, and I got a great tan.
  • Font size on cell phones. This goes hand in hand with the median age in Florida. People cannot see. If they haven’t had cataracts surgery yet, they probably should. Absolutely nothing that people write on their cell phones is private in Florida, because it can be seen from a mile away. And this is coming from someone with -10 vision. I could read the old man’s text to his son from 4 seats down at the bar. He was wishing him a Happy New Year.

Shanah Tovah betches 😊 NEXT YEAR IN BOCA!! (and more about my trip later this week!)

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Travel

Park City, Utah

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Hello! My name is Elder LongLegsBigCity. And I would like to share with you the most amazing book…

JK, I did not turn into a Mormon missionary, but I did spend nearly 6 days in the beautiful state of Utah with 13 of my bf’s friends. I went on hikes, did innumerable flights of stairs at nearly 9,000 feet, took photos with multiple posters boasting puns about polygamy, and stayed in a 5-story home with a panoramic view of multiple ski slopes. Just look at the banner photo. Talk about #LifeElevated.

The emoji bf and I tend to have horrific travel luck, but the Mormon All-American prophet looked down upon us and blessed our journey and we departed NYC EARLY!! Unheard of. We arrived in Salt Lake City late on Wednesday night, met up with one of his friends, and took an uber to Park City. One of my bf’s friend’s family owns a house that they usually rent out, but lucky for us, it was vacant for (an extended) Labor Day Weekend. I got the grand tour when we arrived, and I don’t know if it was the lack of sleep or the elevation, but I actually got lost. There were 5 stories in this place! 6 bedrooms, 2 decks/patios, a shuffleboard table, a hot tub… I was floored. We arrived after midnight and the party had clearly already been going on for a while, but I skipped the drinks for the night and went straight to bed. When I woke up, I had a sleeping beauty moment when I saw on my phone it was noon. I thought I had woken up from a minor coma! Thankfully, my phone just hadn’t synced with the new time zone and it was only 10 am.

I sat on the balcony taking in the amazing view as I waited to meet up with my friend from middle school/high school/ college/NYC. She happens to live in Utah now, and she has an ADORABLE baby who I had never met yet. Luckily for me, she liked me enough to drive out to Park City with her husband and daughter to hang out. We spent the day eating amazing fried food, window shopping, and exploring the “downtown” area of Park City. Oh, and of course taking many many photos. We even saw a Banksy original! You think maybe my emoji bf is responsible???

The girl whose parents own the mansion where we were staying also have their own permanent residence in Park City in a neighborhood called the Promontory Club. Legend has it that the developer for the neighborhood went bankrupt in the middle of building, and when they same developer bought the land back (in foreclosure), he had so much extra money that he built these amazing amenities for the neighborhood to use. We decided to take full advantage of them. After a busy day in town, we went to the bougie AF clubhouse (“The Shed”), where they had an indoor bball/vball court, jump ropes, pinball, foosball, pool tables, and of course, bowling lanes. After working up an appetite, we ordered food and ate it outside as they turned on the gas fire pit that lined the patio. I didn’t quite break 90 in bowling… I probably didn’t deserve the pizza. Once the temperature dropped, we went back to the house and drank some more wine in the hot tub.

For some reason (time change?) I woke up early the next morning. A few of us took a trip down Shorty’s Stairs (actually, I did them 4 times trying to work off the booze from the prior night, this became a tradition), and we found this place called Little Donuts. The owner is a Michigan fan, which I will only forgive because these donuts were phenomenal. Fresh AND you could watch him hand dip and decorate each one made-to-order. They had a maple bacon one. I mean, come on. Clearly the 500 stairs/day were not going to be enough. After eating too many donuts, we put on swimsuits (thankfully I brought my one-piece) and headed back to Promontory, this time to “The Beachhouse.” There were 14 of us, and thanks to some A+ planning, we had rented a cabana, which we had all to ourselves with cookies, cheese, crackers and fruit. The best part was, the cabana was situated basically in the man-made lake, so as we took advantage of the free watersports, we could paddleboard/kayak etc. right up to our group of friends! We played some frisbee in the pool and soaked in the high-elevation rays before heading back to our mansion. After pregaming a little TOO hard, we walked down Shorty’s stairs to a tapas restaurant called Bodega 718/ We had picked up coupons for the restaurant earlier in the day, but (due to the heavy pregaming) we forgot them at the house. I offered to walk back to get them, which would also, hopefully, help me walk off the pregame overboard. On my way, I found an owl. I know what you’re thinking, I was hallucinating it. TBH, I thought I was, too! I walked right past it! But then I backpedaled and I was like, “nope, that is a f*cking huge owl.” His name was Hoot, and his handler informed me that he was, in fact a FAMOUS owl. He had a movie book full of photos of Hoot with the likes of Adam Sandler and Robin Williams (RIP). I am not an animal lover, but I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to take a photo with Hoot #DoItForTheInsta.

After my owl photoshoot, I got the coupons, went back to dinner, and proceeded to fight with my bf. I mean, what’s a vacation with your significant other without a fight, AMIRITE? Anyway, as I have already stated 20 times, I had too much to drink and it was a good time for me to go home anyway. I walked back to the house, got a cider out of the fridge, and read my kindle in the hot tub. Arguably one my favorite parts of the trip (minus the fight).

The next morning, I woke up early again. Wtf? Anyway, it allowed me some time to sweat out the booze again, and tackle Shorty’s stairs 8 times. Almost 1,000 stairs. Unfortunately, I did not know that this was the day we were going to hike. But hike, we did. At almost 10,000 feet. Luckily, the trail itself was not too challenging, and the views were totally worth it. I even hopped in the lake at one point, which was freezing since it is formed by snow run-off from the mountains. It was worth the adventure, and it was the one time we got a group shot of all 14 of us. On our way back up, we ran into a group of students from University of Utah (“Utes”), who were using a not-so-sturdy rope swing to jump into the not-so-deep lake. One of the guys said he hit his head on the rock. Then he tried to get us to try it. I decided that Saturday, Sept. 2, 2017 was not the day I wanted to die, so I passed.

We got home, showered, watched some football, and just as I was sure UF was going to lose (SIGH), we went to the girls whose family owns the house’s parents’ house (that’s a mouthful) for a BBQ. Since they also own the 5-story mansion we were staying in, I figured their full-time house may be more modest, but I was wrong. The place was GORGEOUS. It had a wrap-around deck where we could see the perfect sunset, a wine cellar, a “drive-through shower” (NEED this in my future house) and a firepit. We drank wine and Moscow mules, ate amazing burgers and brats, and then finished the night with more wine by the fire, while Amazon Alexa serenaded us. Oh, AND we made s’mores. Does it get more perfect than that!? When I was a kid, I didn’t think it got better than s’mores. But then I realized you can have them with a side of wine. SCORE.

The next day was low key because we were tired, and because it was HOT! It wasn’t humid, but being 10,000 feet closer to the sun makes for some high temps. We went into town for the weekly summer street fair called Park Silly. We didn’t last long there thanks to the temps, but we did find our way back to Wasatch brewery where they had $2 bloody marys. Somehow I only had one. Maybe I was tapped out for booze. Or maybe I felt guilty because it was Sunday and it was Utah. Or maybe it’s because it just tasted like tomato juice thanks to Utah’s liquor laws requiring no drink to have more than 1.5 ounces of booze in it. Anyway, eventually we went back to the house where we watched the new Baywatch. Incredibly underrated, if you ask me. The Rock AND Zac Efron? I mean, clearly 5-star-worthy.

Our last real night in Utah, we went as a group to Butcher’s Chop House, where we miraculously got a last-minute reservation for 13 people. The meal was great, and was made better by a BOGO deal on entrees. I can’t resist a good deal. I can, however, resist taking photos of food. I hate people who do that sh*t. So no photos. I got to know the restaurant well, since my bf forgot his phone AND wallet, so we went back twice. Once for the phone and wallet, once for the ID, which I had luckily reminded him specifically to check for since we were flying the next day. Another charming thing about Utah: they card everyone under the age of DEAD. So your ID is oftentimes out of your wallet. Once we had the ID, we stopped at No Name Saloon for a drink on the way home, as one does when they are relieved they did not lose their entire identity (aka phone and wallet) in one fell swoop. BF had whiskey neat (the strongest drink you can get in the whole state), and I had a bottle of cider, because anything on draught is less than 4% ABV. At that point, I was happy to be leaving the next day, back to the land of the alcoholic a.k.a. New York City.

The next day we cleaned up the house and headed to the airport, where we were through security before noon. Only problem, our flight wasn’t until midnight. Luckily for me, and to the sole credit of my boyfriend, I have started credit card churning (full blog on that another time), and therefore I had an AMEX Platinum Card that got me into the Delta Sky Lounge. (Highly recommend that card. USE MY LINK!) We had 12 hours of free booze, free food, and free wifi. I read the entire book, The Young Wives Club, and did some blogging. Watch out for my next Student Loan installment coming later this week!

Overall, I didn’t see too many Mormons except at the airport (disappointing) but I did have a blast. Also, any number of days where I am not breathing in NYC’s unique and trademarked mix of smog, trash, piss, and sadness is a good weekend overall.

Ready for our red-eye back to smelly NYC.
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Travel

Down The Shore

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On Saturday, I took my emoji-faced boyfriend on a day trip adventure “down the shore” i.e. to the beach in New Jersey. This term is well-known in the northeast, and even the New York Times recognizes it as a thing. Other terms like Bennies and Shoebies are less well known, but well-documented. We were gone for 16 hours, and we returned with memories of Wawa Hoagiefest, full bellies of fresh clams (both of us), very sunburned legs (mostly just me), and salt in our hair.

Our adventure started at 8 am. During the summer, there are select NJ Transit express trains to Bay Head on Saturday mornings, so we wanted to make sure we got on the 9:01 am train! We had to first stop at the bodega, because you know what they say, “never leave home without a bodega sausage egg and cheese.” #DietStartsThisWeek. After the bodega, we got to the subway to find out that the next train was not coming for 14 minutes. SURPRISE SURPRISE, foiled by the MTA’s “constant service” yet again. We hopped into a cab and made it to Penn Station with plenty of time. The NJ transit was surprisingly reliable compared to the MTA, and we arrived on time!

I haven’t told you the reason for this adventure, but here we go: Wawa towel delivery. Yes, you read that correctly. I dragged my boyfriend on a $30/person train ride down the shore to hand-deliver a Wawa Hoagiefest towel. It was THAT important!!

Backstory: My dad works at Wawa, and before he started working there, he heard they had a cult-like following. However, he had no idea the extent of it. Sure enough, as soon as he started to tell people that he worked for Wawa, their first response, WITHOUT FAIL was “OH MY GOD I LOVE WAWA!” My dad soon realized that he had access to some great perks, like employee benefit drives selling Wawa paraphernalia! As soon as word spread to my friends, they were asking for things left and right. I now have friends in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, Las Vegas, NV, Burbank, CA, and Chadwick Beach, NJ who wait on the edge of their seats for the yearly fundraising drive items. This year, we were lucky enough to have the holiday sale AND an extra Hoagiefest towel sale to benefit Associates in Need.

Rewind 33 Years and Fast Forward to Last Saturday: One of my sister’s friends, Sara, from nursery school 33 years ago, grew up going to the Jersey shore and she has been obsessed with Wawa ever since, a shore staple. She even celebrated her 21st birthday with a 1 am Wawa trip! Needless to say, she needed a Wawa towel. I was happy to be the messenger and hand-deliver the precious cargo, and make a day out of it! Sara picked us up from the train station and our first stop was, OF COURSE, WAWA. We picked up $4.99 hoagies and to my chagrin, they were selling the very towels I came to deliver RIGHT IN THE STORE! WOOPS. I was disappointed, but hey, at least the one I was toting was for a good cause! Also, I got a day at the beach and I got to visit with old friends.

Sara’s husband, Dave, was already at the beach holding down the fort with their almost-3-year-old daughter, Lyra, and he didn’t mind waiting, since we came bearing hoagies and Wawa Iced Tea (absolute necessity at the beach; Half and Half, diet). We brought 2 liters. We settled in, and then Sara and I went for a swim while Lyra had a snack. Sara and I started chatting with two guys in the ocean and they told us that sting rays were out in full force. We spent 30 minutes chasing waves and we finally saw a huge sting ray in one of the waves! It was amazing, in a #CrocodileHunter way. #RIP. No photos, unfortunately

We headed back to our chairs, put Lyra down for a nap, and cracked open a couple of beers. Perfect day, except I forgot one crucial accessory: SUNSCREEN! I’m not used to being prepared for the beach with chairs etc. When I was in high school, we just pulled up to the beach with a towel I mostly stayed laying on my stomach, usually hungover from the night prior. Now as a full-grown 30-year old, lounging on chairs, I totally forgot to use sunscreen on my stomach and legs!! #HelpMeCoppertone I remembered my shoulders and face, but as you can see (below), my legs turned lobster-red. Oops. Around 4 pm, we were evacuated from the beach due to lightning spotted nearby, and we moved to Sara’s family’s shore house, where we lounged on the deck, ate happy hour snacks, and drank refreshing Portuguese white wine. Lyra helped me put lotion and aloe on, while commenting on how pink my legs were. #NoSh*tSherlock #KidsHaveNoFilter.

Soon enough, the storm caught up to us, so we moved inside, I took a quick shower so I could reapply aloe and protect my poor red legs, and then I had a Duplo-building party with Lyra. Why are large Legos so much more fun than the regular-sized ones? So much less stressful. Also, almost-3-year-olds’ structures are easier to build than the elaborate sets my brother used to make me help with. Soon enough, it was time to sit down to dinner beginning with amazing fresh clams that Sara’s dad Ray had found the day prior. We ate them raw with cocktail sauce and hot sauce. Check out this boomerang of me shooting it.

Sara’s mom, Olga, is an amazing cook. She apologized profusely for “only” cooking what was left in fridge. Well let me tell you, I have never cooked such a great meal even with much preparation! There was fresh corn on the cob, steak, tomato salad, sautéed escarole, and roasted potatoes. YUM! What a great end to our day! I love when I don’t have to cook!

Emoji-Bf and I said goodnight to Lyra and headed back to the train. Unfortunately, there were no express trains and we were a bit delayed, but we eventually got back to NYC. It was pouring rain when we got back to the city and there was not an empty cab in sight. Luckily, I had my sunburned and aching legs with me to remind me of our amazing sun-filled day. Three days later, my legs have faded to light pink, and I already can’t wait to go back (assuming I’m invited)! I will need to stock up on some more Wawa swag to make sure I am needed.

 

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Travel

Washington, D.C.

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Strap in, this post is a doozy. Last weekend I traveled to Virginia for my cousin’s wedding, and I had a jam-packed 3 days in the Greater Washington D.C. area. I promise to travel to further and more interesting places soon, but for now, this will have to do for the blog.

I arrived on Thursday night, and luckily, my brother, a new DC resident, picked me up from the train station. Unluckily, he was pulled over by the cops on the way, who said that it was illegal to drive through a yellow light. What?! Isn’t that what yellows are for? Anyway, a bit delayed, we changed and went to dinner with his Home Plate Family. What is Home Plate? It’s basically the coolest invention ever, founded and run by the WashU Chancellor’s wife, Risa Zwerling Wrighton. If out of town students at WashU miss home-cooked meals and dinnertime, they can sign up for this program and get matched with a family. My brother’s “family” was even featured on the WashU website 5 years ago! Since my brother was a WashU student for 7 years (8 if you include the gap year), he basically grew up with his “family.” Therefore, we all grew up with them! I have been hearing about my brother’s second mom for almost a decade. He has been attending all of the kids’ recitals, ceremonies, and graduations for years and his “mom” is my favorite part of our family group texts! Anyway, we had a delicious dinner at Lavagna, where I heard about their time at the Newseum, which I absolutely must go to the next time I’m in DC.

After dinner, I met up with a friend from middle/high school, who I hadn’t seen in 3 years. We had a drink and talked for a while, until we realized it was getting late and now we are real adults with jobs and it was a work night. LAME.

The next morning, my brother and his gf and I woke up and went to my brother’s favorite bagel place, Bullfrog Bagels. It was ok, but nothing compared to NYC bagels (don’t tell him I said that). I’m spoiled. After barely digesting, we drove out to Arlington to work out at Orangetheory Fitness with my best friend from college. She is the head trainer for the region, and she definitely gave us a workout! My brother and I wore heartrate monitors so we could compete with each other on the screens. More about the actual workout later, I’ll do a full review. Suffice it to say, we left completely drenched in sweat, and she played one of my fav weekend ramp-up songs, Hello Friday by Jason Derulo and Flo Rida. I promptly added it to all of my playlists (FOLLOW ME ON SPOTIFY!). We took about 100 pictures , some below, some saved for my OTF blog review, then we went home to shower. The afternoon was STEAMY hot. We ate Ethiopian food, then had a few sake bombs to stave off heat exhaustion, as one does. The boomerangs were pretty epic.

We finished packing and headed to the suburb of Reston, VA, where the rest of the wedding weekend popped off. Something to know about my family: we don’t see each other often, but when we do, we have a BLAST! We started Beth and Kenny’s wedding weekend with hors d’ouvres and drinks at American Tap Room, which conveniently was a 3 minute walk from the hotel #DrinksOnDrinksOnDrinks. My uncle put together a slideshow and I had three cameos in it (#winning). I only cried three times. Ok, maybe four. I’m such a sucker for a slideshow! I got to mingle with all of my family, meet some of Kenny’s family for the first time (shoutout to my dance partner Shawna!) and better yet, I got to introduce my mom to the Moscow Mule. Her life is forever changed. We went to Thai food after, because duh, never enough food, and then we went back to the hotel.

 

Meanwhile, my favorite emoji-bf STILL had not arrived! When I got back to the hotel, I found out his flight had been delayed 4 times, then canceled, after he had already been on the plane for an hour! Ultimately, he made it to the hotel by 7 am the next day, without his bag. He took a 3 am Amtrak and managed to piece together a wedding outfit from a tux shirt, a blazer he keeps in his office, and some too-tight slacks (photos below). Don’t worry, we are currently in negotiations for some compensation from Delta. Putting my ESQ. to good use.

Since the bf had barely arrived by the time we were supposed to leave for our Segway tour, I subbed in my brother’s girlfriend for the tour, instead. We had some epic Metro issues; I guess NYC isn’t alone in their #publictransitproblems. But the good news is, we made a new friend on the Metro who we shared an Uber with. Renee, are you out there somewhere? I should have gotten your contact info! Anyway, we embarked on my longest Segway Tour to date, by Bike and Roll DC. We got a Groupon (major tip here for Segway tours), and it was so much fun! Our tour guide Jen was so awesome, I made sure to write a review on Groupon and Trip Advisor. Also, it came with free popsicles and water. We rolled around DC for 2.5 hours with a family from Copenhagen, learning awesome little-known facts and taking a million photos. Did you know, legend has it that the 50 US flags around the Washington Monument were originally supposed to be state flags but the states couldn’t agree on which would be closest to the White House so they are all US flags instead? Did you know that Truman barely got to live in the White House because when he tried to move in, his piano broke through the rotting floor boards? He had to move out while they gutted the whole thing. Some say they approved the plans to add the Truman Balcony (now one of the most-noticeable things on the facade) to commemorate him and make up for the fact that he could barely live there.

After the awesome Segway tour, we headed back to the hotel for a quick dip in the pool, then got ready for the wedding! We took the shuttle bus to the Stone Tower Winery, which was even prettier than the photos. Really, the pictures do not do it justice. And the sunset… woah. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. I was scared it would be blazing hot (outside wedding in July? NO THANKS), but it wasn’t as bad as I had feared. There was a nice breeze, they had a table with lemon-infused water and champagne to the side of the ceremony, and instead of classic programs, they had the information printed on little fans. Very cute touch.

My cousin looked absolutely amazing, not that I’m biased or anything 😉 She was walked down the aisle by her mom and dad, which I always find sweet. They asked for no phones out during the ceremony, so no photos of that. Also, they wrote their own vows, which is so much more personal. I was listening intently since I was a rule-follower and had put away my phone. I only cried two more times. Okay, three. The officiant was actually their backup officiant, after a particularly gruesome kickball accident, and he totally killed it. Short, sweet, funny, and he could pronounce both of their names! (Trust, me that is not always the case). Both bride and groom added One Direction lyrics to their vows, which was hilarious and amazing and unplanned. They each broke individual glasses, which was a new tradition I had not seen before, but I liked the concept of not just having the guy do it.

The reception was so much fun. The dance floor was poppin’ (extra shoutout to my 88-year-old grandmother who never left the dance floor), there were glow sticks, there was an open bar, and an outdoor patio if you needed a break from the music. The hora was fun, minus a minor chandelier-tiara-head incident, and the toasts were hilarious. I got to sit with my cousins and next to my aunt and uncle. The craziest thing that happened all night: someone from the same floor of my college dorm, freshman year, 12 years ago, recognized me! She is married to a friend of the groom. Craziest small world ever. Things like that do not happen when you go to a school with over 50,000 students. It was so great to see you, Anna!

The real star of the reception was the fire pit and the DIY s’mores. With Reese’s cups! WHAT!? It was amazing. My emoji-bf informed me that since he was an Eagle Scout, I need not show him how to roast a marshmallow. Excusez-moi. We had a sparkler sendoff for the bride and groom, which was a super fun ending to a great night.

Lessons Learned:

  • I have too many friends in DC and I need to visit more often (next time Brittany/Davon/Tahon/Kristina!)
  • Orangetheory will leave me sore for days (ok, already knew that).
  • Segways are amazing (I knew that too).
  • I really like my brother’s gf (don’t screw this up, bro!)
  • I need to get together with my extended family more often.
  • Weddings in July are not always as hot as you’d fear, with enough champagne.
  • The Gator Nation is Everywhere!
  • I need to write shorter blog posts.
Family Photo! One of these things is not like the other hahahha
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Big City Living, Travel

July 4th at Travers Island

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It’s July 10th, so it’s about time to review July 4th. I’m a bit behind. My 4th of July Freedom-Fest came together at the very last minute, but it included all the makings of a fantastic day: a quick getaway from NYC, best friends, a pool, and (most importantly?) unlimited food. Oh, and of course, I can never resist a good theme. I was in red white and blue EVERYTHING, all day, toes to bows, with multiple outfit changes.

My best friend is a member of the New York Athletic Club, an incredibly exclusive social and athletic club in NYC. Memberships are by invitation only, and you need to appear before a membership board for an interview before acceptance. It’s so exclusive, in fact, that they only began admitting women in 1989 (“voluntarily”… after the Supreme Court mandated it and some controversy ensued that it was not a business club, etc. etc.). They have had their share of controversies over admissions and have been picketed by demonstrators by the Congress for Racial Equality. Enough about that history. Read their Wikipedia for more. Anywayyy, I was pretty psyched to get an invite to Travers Island, full-Jew-blood and all.

NYAC has two houses, one in Manhattan (City House), and one in Westchester (Travers Island). I couldn’t wait to explore this country oasis 15 miles from Manhattan. Since my emoji bf had hurt his back the day prior, we made it a girls’ day, and boarded the free shuttle from NYC at 10 am, loaded up with multiple red, white, and blue clothing items, and varying SPF’s of sun protection. Upon boarding the bus I hid my Jew curls, and thanked my stars that my POC bf had stayed at home for fear of the WASP-illuminati. JK. But also really. So many blondes! More than I had ever seen in New York before.

The charter bus ride was quick, and we arrived at this beautiful house on the Long Island Sound, complete with an Olympic-sized salt water pool. There were chairs, beautifully-manicured trees, and young men (boys?) to help us move our chairs to the perfect half sunny/half shady/prime fireworks-viewing position. And yes, it was only 11 am, but we were thinking ahead. Totally paid off. We changed into swimsuits in the huge locker rooms (2nd themed outfit of the day), and sunscreened it up. We spent the day hopping between the huge pool and the buffet BBQ with multiple salads, roasted fennel, hot dogs, hamburgers, and all-you-can-eat popsicles/ice cream bars.

We did a few laps around the pool so we could get some fitbit steps in and burn off maybe one half of one ice cream bar. On one of our laps around the pool, we discovered the kids’ area. We asked around, and found out that we were probably too big for the bouncy water slide, but snow cones and cotton candy were fair game and they opened at 5 pm. They had temporary tattoos as well, but the line was too long (and I was a little embarrassed since most of the 30-year-olds there were accompanied by their own children). We continued our circuit from food to pool to laying out to walking around to kill time, and at 5 pm we circled back to the kids’ area and finally got cotton candy AND snow cones, because go big or go home. Everything was amazing. The sun was still high in the sky, and our unlimited food wristbands included dinner as well. Dinner added seasoned and grilled shrimp skewers, which were AMAZING. I had decided at 1 pm to skip all bread and rolls to save room for more food. Good strategy, worked all day for me. I may be done with #30Years30IceCreams, but I am clearly failing at any attempt I thought I’d make at a diet.

The sun finally started to set at 8:30 pm, and we changed into another dry, red, white, and blue outfit, and parked ourselves on blankets for the 10 pm fireworks. After 20+ rounds of Heads Up!, the best way ever to kill time, we brought out our glow sticks and prepared ourselves for the show. We had seen the pyrotechnics crew at the buffet earlier (the only visible tattoos and facial hair I saw all day) and there were 20 of them, so we were hoping for a great show. We were NOT disappointed. The private show lasted 15 full minutes, and they were some of the closest fireworks I had ever seen! I took at least 4 boomerangs for my insta story (because pics or it didn’t happen), and then we packed up to go. We boarded the VIP shuttle back to the City House, and half-slept/half-watched fireworks along the East River as we drove back into Manhattan. 9 hot dogs, 5 shrimp skewers, lots of tan lines, and innumerable trips to the bathroom later, I’d say we had a fantastic day. We didn’t even have one drink! It was real American clean fun. Until next year, maybe they’ll allow emoji-humans entry to NYAC by then. U-S-A! U-S-A!

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