Hey guys, how are you doing? Keeping busy? My mom sent her day’s work-from-home schedule to the family group chat this morning. She’s a busy woman. There was cleaning of rooms, pedicuring of toes, and best yet, DOWNLOAD INSTAGRAM. That’s right y’all, my mom is officially on Instagram. Since most of the people who subscribe to my blog are her friends, let me be the first one to tell you to follow my mom! She needs followers!
Anyway, back to the schedule, she inspired me to send her my schedule for the day:
8:00 am Wakeup
8-9:00 Do hair to put on the gram
9-9:15:00 Try and be creative with a breakfast avocado meal
9:15-12:00 pm Be mad about work
10:00 Coffee date with my mannequin head
12:00 Walk around neighborhood trying not to be frustrated about work
12:30 Convince one of the boys to take a photo of my hair outside
12:45 Try and be creative with a lunch avocado meal
5:00 Try to convince one of the boys to exercise with me
6:30 Shower but probably not wash hair bc why bother
7:00 Try to be creative with a dinner avocado meal
6-11 Try not to murder Chris
See??? I’m busy too!! If you guys don’t know why there’s so much on there about avocados, the short version is that somehow we came into a free case of avocados that I am trying to eat/use before they go bad.
So back to the
schedule. If you have been on social media at all (if you haven’t… WHAT ARE YOU
DOING?!), then you’ve seen many parents’ schedules. They include wakeup times, bedtimes,
physical activities, craft activities, outdoor time, school time, scheduled meals,
etc. Basically, doing THE MOST.
God bless
those parents. I do not know how they will continue with that level of
discipline. Personally, I relate a lot more to the Israeli woman who is
screaming at her iphone in her car, trying to escape her 4 kids at home.
Then, if you hit up the meme accounts, like @no.fucksgiiven, or @wheredidmyvodkago or @fuckjerry or @quentin.quarantino , you’ll see very different schedules. Basically, trying to stay alive, trying to stay sane, spending 88% of your waking hours on screen time, and eating every single snack at your house. Also, completely giving up on all of your new year’s resolutions because like… WHY BOTHER?!
(Mommy – you should
follow those meme accounts! It may inspire your schedule for tomorrow.)
I like to
think my schedule is a healthy balance of both. I have a Zoom Happy Hour on the
calendar for Thursday (which is still 2 very long days away), but most of my
day revolves around cooking food, exercising, and trying to consciously stay
out of the kitchen to eat all of my food. I told my BFF I was going to write
this blog, and she sent me her schedule, as well. Please note, she is a nurse
in Seattle, so her life and schedule is MUCH more stressful than anything I am
dealing with, but there is still a lot of overlap.
10:00 am Wake Up
10-11:00 Read news articles about Corona and panic. Sometimes cry.
11:00 Make eggs for breakfast, but not the usual amount because I’m rationing
12-1:00 pm Open work emails and panic again
1:00 Go for a run and wonder why there are so many cars on the road
3:00 Prolong shower
5:00 Shower*
6:00 Beer*
*In the next few days, shower and beer may fall into the same time slot
Reading her schedule made me realize that I had left “panic” out of my schedule, but don’t fret, it’s an all-day event, so just assume it belongs in all of my waking hours, and sometimes my sleeping ones, too.
We have our HUGE event of the week scheduled for tomorrow… “try not to get coronavirus at the grocery store.” Wish us luck!! What are your schedules looking like? Leave them in the comments.
It’s TUESDAY!! And that means Date Night. Date Night is something that is sacrosanct in our house. It’s how I have lasted years through CFA studying, and years in a relationship in general with someone who works upwards of 70 hours/week. Every Tuesday, there is a recurring event in my google calendar, (shared with my fiancé), “Chris and Emily Date Night.”
Why Tuesday? To be honest, date night started at the very beginning of our relationship. Girls love to create their own rules to make sure they don’t seem too “available” or “easy.” My self-designated way of doing that? I told him I was only free on Tuesdays! It made me seem unattainable and super busy, it meant no sleepovers (duh I had work the next day), and it was a great way to get through the week. Both of us had busy schedules, I was teaching 3 classes/week at the gym and he was working 90 hours/week at the time. It was important to set aside time to see each other. Slowly, it became a tradition. Nowadays, if I have something else I need to do on a Tuesday, I ask in advance if we can switch date night to another night of the week. I love that it ensures that we see each other or make dedicated time for each other at least once.
When we moved in together, I didn’t think date night would
be necessary anymore, but I was wrong. Even if we fall out of the habit for a
few weeks because of work travel or other things, we can always feel the distance
start to come between us. I guess that’s what living in New York means, everyone
is so busy!
I know what you’re thinking… every week??? Don’t you run out
of things to do? Isn’t it expensive?? No, and sometimes.
When we first started dating, I used to complain that Chris’s only date ideas were going out to dinner. Not that I don’t like dinner, hello, I LOVE food, but I like doing activities. A long time ago, I sent him a list of possible ideas. Now, I have a running list of date ideas in my Bullet Journal. Some still involve dinner, but at cool spots, like a Liberian restaurant, or a Japanese place that has a prix fixe menu set to old-school vinyl. And some involve actual activities like mini golf, bowling, pottery, and holiday markets.
DANGEROUS Date Night, ax-throwing in Brooklyn.
Yummy Date Night, make your own ice cream.
Fancy Date Night, out to a Broadway show.
Casual Date Night, out for a margarita.
Some of them are relatively cheap or free, like walking around a new neighborhood, and some of them are pricier, like seeing a Broadway show. And about half the time, they don’t involve going anywhere at all! One of my favorite date nights involves cooking dinner at home, watching Netflix (we STILL haven’t finished The Wire), and maybe walking across the street for ice cream after. The purpose of date night isn’t to spend money or explore new places (although the latter is a cool perk), it’s to spend time with each other and not get lost in the hustle and bustle of New York. It gives us a designated day of the week where I promise not to teach at the gym or go out with friends, and Chris promises to try and get home from work at a normal hour.
Most recently, we went to Dave & Busters. Taking the subway and the getting out at Times Square, especially amidst the Corona situation, is not usually something I would volunteer to do. The food was sub-par and the table was a little dirty when we got there. But the drinks were half off until 7:30 (helloooo $6 watermelon margarita!) and the quality time together was so much fun! We spent an hour after we ate just playing air hockey, ring toss, skeeball, corn hole, and various other games. I think we got a LOT of tickets, but it’s all virtual on the cards now, so I can’t be sure. We had so many credits left on our play cards, that we decided we’d need to go back another time and cash out on our winnings, then.
Air Hockey Champs. By that I mean me. I am the champ (ok, I lost twice).
Lots of tickets won on ring toss.
Coronarita. DANGER.
I always think of myself as a trendsetter, but Date Night has definitely caught on with some of our friends. I recently found out that two close friends of Chris’s have take the idea themselves, and they designated Wednesdays as date night. Having a weekday date night makes it low pressure (no need for an all-night Saturday marathon date) and it’s also easier to make reservations or get tickets to things. I hope to combine some of my “Date Night Ideas” with my “New York Bucket List” items soon, like going to the Guggenheim or seeing Alvin Ailey. Good thing there are 52 Tuesdays per year!
Do you have any awesome date ideas? Leave them below in the comments!
This may be the most exciting blog I’ve written. I know you guys loved to read about my student loans and fitness classes, but what you were REALLY waiting for was a proposal from the mystery-man-behind-the-emoji. And it happened! I was completely surprised and I had no idea I would be publishing this blog this week. I thought I was going to write about HelloFresh. No offense to HelloFresh but this far exceeds anything that post would have been.
Of course the first question everyone asks about the proposal is, “How did he ask??” Actually, the FIRST question everyone asks is, “When are you getting married??” But when I tell them I have no idea, the next question is “how did he do it?” Since the proposal was a surprise, I decided to write this blog in first person, mostly in the order in which I found out the details, not in chronological order. There was a lot of pre-work and scheming that went into the proposal, ring choosing, etc, but I didn’t know about any of it until after. Let me start on Friday night, Valentine’s Day.
As is the case with pretty much every night we try and go out, I was running late. I had taken a comp day from work because I had been working long hours all week. Even though I woke up at 6 am to go to the gym, I was relaxing and running errands all day. Gym, laundry, grocery store, etc. My emoji-boyfriend (… um… emoji-FIANCE… um… should I call him Chris now?) was also working from home Friday, so as I was folding the laundry as he was in the shower getting ready for our date, which was a surprise.
I had showered earlier and asked him for a brief outline of the date, so I knew what to wear. He said, “dinner and a show, but not crazy fancy dinner, I know you hate that” (true), so I pulled out a semi-casual dress. When he got out of the shower the apartment was completely steamy, and if you’re a girl with any sort of wavy hair, you know that means – absolutely no style will hold in your hair. Of course this caused me to be even later. I quickly straightened my hair and put a 1-minute French half braid in my hair. This may seem like an inconsequential detail. But it just proves how much of a surprise this proposal was. I would NEVER have had my hair straight and/or with a haphazard braid if I had known. HELLOOO I have 4 different curling wands/irons AND A BRAIDING BUSINESS. I would have PREPARED. Alas.
We left the house 15 minutes later than intended and headed to one of our favorite wine bars in our neighborhood called Vanguard. Luck was with us, because there were actually two seats left at the bar next to each other, which I was surprised about on Valentine’s Day. We each had a glass of wine and paid as soon as the bartender poured because we were in a hurry for our dinner reservations. I couldn’t tell you a single thing we talked about, probably a show we are watching on Netflix. After our wine, we put our coats back on and the only clue I had was that we were taking the 2-3 train southbound.
Around 14th street, Chris asked if I knew where we were going. I said, “no clue, somewhere downtown?” When we got off the train at Chambers Street, I still had no idea, but I remember making a comment about being jealous of girls going out in groups for Galentine’s Day. LOL I mean, don’t get me wrong, obviously I LOVE my FIANCE but also I love my girls. If i had known there was a diamond on the horizon I probably would not have made that comment.
We were walking for what seemed like an hour in 18-degree weather (it was about 5 minutes), when Chris asked again if I knew where we were going. Again, I said no, but then I realized that we were in front of Bubby’s in Tribeca, the restaurant where we had our first date. For a SHORT second, I thought maybe he would propose, but then I realized it’s just a restaurant we both like, and that he could probably get a reservation there on Valentine’s Day. Also, the Tribeca location where we met was closed for renovations for a few months, so I figured he just thought I’d be happy it was open again.
Before the date even began he brought me home flowers while I folded laundry!
My insta-story as the night began (long before I knew what was going to happen).
Thank goodness for these biscuits!
Kisses and emoji bfs (fiancés?)
The hostess seated us, and the server announced a prix fixe option including unlimited champagne for 90 minutes. Since we both don’t love champagne and we also wanted to order off the menu, we said no to prix fixe, and ordered our own drinks. I had a Bourbon Sweet Tea. Yes, this is an important detail too, so you understand how much we are about to drink. It was mango infused bourbon, sweet tea, & lemon. Of course we ordered biscuits to start. If you ever go to Bubby’s, GET THE BISCUITS. In hindsight, I was certainly glad I had some carbs in my stomach because by the time the meal came, I was too excited to eat.
Some of our conversation at dinner was about our first date, what we talked about then, etc. Chris later told me he was trying to set up the proposal, but as usual, I was completely oblivious. He also later told me that he took the day off of work because he knew he was going to propose, and I ruined his alone time by taking a comp day – also completely oblivious to that. ANYWAY.
When our main courses arrived, I started cutting up the avocado in my cobb salad when Chris said, “before we have our food, I have a question to ask you.” FULL STOP. That was when I knew. If you know me, you don’t come between me and my food unless it’s for something amazing.
Then Chris started in on his semi-planned proposal (maybe he planned to practice in the mirror all day, but I ruined those plans by hanging out on the couch).
He said that since this was the place where we got our start, he wanted it to be the place where we had our next start. Then he said a lot of amazing things about me and how much I mean to him. I pretty much blacked out when I realized he was going to propose. But I later asked him what he had said, and my memory was almost spot on. Then he asked me to marry him and took a FABULOUS ring out of his coat pocket. AND I SAID YES!! I was so excited I couldn’t even cry. I did say, “Should I be crying? I feel like I should be crying.”
Now before I go on with the story of the night, I want to take a quick break to address this ring. Y’all… this thing is GORGEOUS. I mean. Showstopper. He did SO WELL. This is not the first time my adorable fiance has bought me jewelry, and let’s just say, it’s been hit or miss. We have made exchanges on more than one occasion. But this?? 100% perfect. How did he do it??? Well duh, he had some help from my friends. I couldn’t leave something this important up to chance. I mean, ladies and gents, we had been dating for 4.5 years. Yes, I was COMPLETELY surprised that he proposed on that night, but did I think it was coming?? I sure hoped so! I had sent a photo of the type of ring I wanted to anyone I thought he might ask. My mom had it. My best friend had it. My sister had it. His sister had it. Sure enough, I found out later that he asked my BFF and she did me proud and showed him the photo. And he got it exactly right, if not better because it is SO SPARKLY. I didn’t post a photo on Facebook because that’s tacky but if you want to see it, I’ll gladly show you. Either in person or photographic evidence. Ok, now back to the story.
So remember we already had a glass of wine at the wine bar and a whiskey drink at dinner because we hadn’t picked the prix fixe option? My now-fiance had called the restaurant ahead of time to tip them off, so the server was waiting for the right moment to bring over a bottle of champagne, on the house. I don’t love champagne but I do love free stuff! Needless to say, I could barely eat because I was so excited. So instead I just guzzled champagne while staring at my ring every time I brought the glass to my face. The next day’s hangover was worth it.
We finished the entire bottle of champagne and got ready for the next stop of the night. But first, I went to the bathroom and texted a photo of the ring to my best friend. The text read something like, “This is completely unexpected so my nails look like sh*t and don’t show this photo to anyone but OMFG!!!” Of course she started texting me back with a million questions but we were already en route to our next destination, West Side Comedy Club.
We love going to comedy shows together, and especially when they are right in our neighborhood! This show was a special 9 pm Valentine’s Day show about relationships. There were single comics, queer comics, comedians who were enagaged, comedians who were married and performing together, comedians who were married and performed separately… it was a lot and it was hysterical. I love shows with multiple acts because if one person is terrible or not your style, you only have to put up with them for 10 minutes. But overall, they were hilarious. The tables had chocolate Hershey kisses and hearts on them, and best of all, despite the club having a 2-drink minimum, our server forgot to come back to us so we only had to have one drink each, which was ideal after the chugging of the bottle of champagne at dinner.
Insta-story continues (no one knew I had a ring on my rfinger!)
CHOCOLATE. It’s a celebration!!
When the show was over, we hustled home in the cold and passed out. Too much to drink. I woke up early the next morning because I had to teach a spin class. One of the girls I see often at the gym saw me helping someone adjust their bike and said, “Did you get engaged or have I never noticed that ring?” and I said, “I got engaged,” and she said, “Congratulations! When?” and the whole room went silent just as I said , “Last night.” I went from telling two people, to telling 25. Woops.
After spin class, I took a quick shower and rushed off to get my nails done so I could take a proper photo of my new pet rock, as I have taken to calling it. I used the ring light (no pun intended) that I have to take hair photos to show off the SHINE properly. Once my nails were 100, we went out to brunch and then Chris told me he booked a hotel room for us! We packed overnight bags and headed to the Conrad Downtown.
Brunch post-manicure.
Getting ready to set off on our staycation.
Bags are packed, we’re ready to go!
We had a water view room where we could watch the ferries go to and from New Jersey. I was in the room for approximately 60 seconds before I put on the softest most luxurious robe ever and sat down in bed. Chris promptly took a nap and I read my book. Being engaged is EXHAUSTING! After a little energy boost, we finally started the mandatory phone calls and texts to tell people before the news broke the internet. It’s not like I’m Kim Kardashian, but y’all know people have been waiting for this for literally years. Legit, every time I go on a trip with Chris, my DM’s are filled with messages that just say “💍?”
The second we got there I put on the robe
Large beds are the best thing ever!
View at sunset
View from inside the atrium of the hotel
We called his siblings, and I texted my friends, I called my siblings, and after a few hours of that, we went to dinner at El Vez. I usually don’t drink at dinner, but it was a celebration! I had two margaritas. Ok, I had three.
I told Chris how much anxiety I was having about posting on social media. The pressure is intense! I have been seeing engagements on my feed for at least a decade. I have seen everything from cliche to disgusting. I didn’t want to be either of those things. I definitely was not going to post “I said yes!” I thought about just posting a photo of us from the restaurant. But people have been seeing photos of us at restaurants for YEARS. I didn’t think people would believe me without seeing the ring! But I don’t believe in just posting a photo of the ring. So garish. So materialistic. Also, it’s not about the ring (but goddamn that thing is so pretty). I said to Chris, “Quick, get me with this taco so I can show people the ring.” Chris is great at taking photos of my hair. But of me eating? Not so much. There were ten outtakes. We finally got a good, “Does this taco make me look engaged” photo, which is very on-brand, and cliche but not too cliche, and I decided to post the taco and the happy couple pic. But I still wasn’t ready.
When I was asking him who else I needed to tell, it came out that he went all the way to Philadelphia to ask my parents for their blessing! I had no idea. He had told me he was out to dinner with a friend in New York, which I blindly trusted. I guess that’s a good thing? Anyway, my parents already knew when he was set to propose. My mom took a photo when they were together in Phily and wanted to post it on Facebook, which my dad and Chris promptly told her would ruin the entire purpose of the surprise. And since my mom can’t keep a secret and knew she couldn’t post about it, she told my sister. Then she felt bad so she told my brother, as well. And my sister didn’t want to hold it in, so she told my best friend. BASICALLY, everyone knew except me. This made breaking the news much easier.
We went back to the hotel Saturday night, slept a longggg time, and when Sunday rolled around, I was finally ready. Around 3 pm, I said to Chris, “Are you ready to break the internet??? Let it rip!” And I posted on two Instagram accounts and on Facebook. As of this writing, we are at 392 likes on Facebook. I still need a good photo for my Braidstagram with ring on display, I’m waiting for the perfect moment.
It’s been a little longer than a week since he proposed, and I’ve slowly been asking him details about how he planned it. Turns out, it’s been a long time coming. He bought ring-sizing instruments from online and sized one of my rings when I was at work. I fully sabotaged this plan by telling my best friend the wrong size, which he trusted. The ring is currently back at Blue Nile, being resized… I miss it so much.
I promised you guys a grand reveal of his face once we were engaged, so here it is: the very happy couple a few minutes after his proposal. Was his cute face worth the wait? I SAY YES!
Ring so shiny it GLOWS
We always need to experiment with different lighting, but we look good in all of them. Duh.
Last week I went to a spa for the first time and it was magical. Really, like stepping into a dream. Specifically, I went to SoJo Spa, and I am definitely going to be making a trip (or 10) back. Here are a few reasons why:
First of all, it was almost free. Ok, it wasn’t free, but I
had paid for it last year as a Christmas present for my bf and we never used
it. So pretty much I had forgotten how much I had paid for it and it was free.
In reality, it’s $75 on the weekend on $55 during the week, which is actually a
bargain since you can stay there for like 14 hours.
Second of all, the transportation was free. This is actually
true. They have a free shuttle that picks you up from midtown Manhattan! This
is a huge perk because the spa itself is in New Jersey (I know, ew), and it’s
not easy to get to NJ without a car. Plus, tolls! I was happy to book us seats in
the shuttle 2 weeks in advance online, and not have to worry about getting
there and back. The only drawback was picking the time in advance. I didn’t
know if I’d want to spend the whole day there. In hindsight, duh, I should have
taken the last shuttle back, but at the time I wasn’t sure. We picked the 11 am
shuttle there, and the 6 pm back; it left exactly on time and the ride only
took 20 minutes.
Morning Shuttle, left exactly on time!
Evening shuttle, also exactly on time and free!
Third of all, they have Asian-inspired food in their dining
hall, which is some of my fav cuisine. It’s Asian-fusion, with sushi, bulgogi,
salmon rice bowls, udon, etc. When we had lunch, it came with a surprise bowl
of miso soup. Yum.
I realize I haven’t actually talked about the spa yet. Let’s
get to the good stuff.
When we were dropped off at the spa from the shuttle, there
was a huge line to get in. This was a little annoying because it was cold. But the
line actually had HUGE heaters, so eventually the top of my head was burning
hot. Not ideal. But it moved pretty quickly, and we were inside within 15
minutes. Then we paid/scanned our gift certificate, had our bags checked (I had
to chug the remnants of my iced coffee), and proceeded to the “shoe lockers.”
The whole facility is a shoe-less facility, so you put your shoes there for the
day, and the “key” to the locker is a wristband you wear all day. You can pay
for food with it, massages, and also open your main locker with it upstairs.
We went up to the 4th floor where the locker
rooms are and got changed. They give you a towel and a robe to wear all day
over your swimsuit. A majority of the facility is coed, so swimwear it
required. I am pretty used to stripping in front of other women in gym locker
rooms, so this was normal for me to change into a swimsuit. For the shy people,
there were changing rooms but there was a line for them.
I locked up all of my valuables, took my book, and explored
the locker room a bit. There were about 100 showers with nice toiletries (which
I never used), and also women-only hot tubs and saunas. There was an interior
exit and an external exit to
many many hot tubs, each with different purposes. I had told Chris I would
meet him at the foot massage path, a shallow pool with flat and rounded stones on
the bottom. This is meant to “provide walkers a natural foot reflexology
massage while improving balance and heightening body awareness.” What it really
did was KILL my feet. There was a sign that said, “advanced to the left, beginners
to the right.” Unfortunately, I started on the wrong end, so left was right and
right was left, and I had no idea what I was doing besides that fact that I was
crying in pain and holding on to the railing for dear life. Oh, also, I couldn’t
find my bf and my phone was in my locker. I slowllllyyy got to the other end of
the foot path, went back to my locker, and told him to meet me at a more
central location.
Once I was with my emoji-bf who is much smarter than me, he
helped me realize that we were walking on the wrong side of the foot path, and
things got much easier from there. We took off our robes in one of the many
heated tents, and quickly shuffled into the first hot tub, or “silk bath,”
which “utilizes state-of-the-art Japanese white ionization technology that
infuses hot spring micro-bubbles directly to the water to nourish body tissue
and improve skin elasticity.” Do I believe any of that? Maybe. But it was a
nice hot tub either way. We then made our way to the hydrotherapy pool, which
was one of my favorite spots of the day. It’s a pool with various little
cubbies you can stand and sit in, which have jets aimed at different parts of
your body. Shoulders, calves, hamstrings, lower back. It was glorious. After
trying out a few different cubbies, we headed to the Dining hall for some Asian
fusion.
The death trap aka foot massage path.
Outside pools and fountains, some of them closed for winter.
Infinity Pool we didn’t go in.
After lunch, feeling refreshed but a little tired, we
decided to do some exploring, then check out some of the saunas. We stopped by
the gym ($5 extra fee, but like, who wants to work out??), we saw the infinity
pool which was packed with people taking selfies, we saw the yoga studio, and
checked out their “coworking space,” which was really just a corner with a long
desk and 6 office chairs. After walking a few hundred steps, it was time to
relax again and find the saunas. It was packed! Granted, it was a three-day
weekend, but it was a little annoying to go into the first sauna and find it
packed like sardines. Luckily, there were many options. We eventually found room
to lay out on the ground in the charcoal sauna, and spent about 15-20 minutes
baking in there.
After that, we headed to the relaxation lounge,
and I finally got a chance to dive into my book. I even took a little nap.
After my nap, I was reinvigorated and ready to sweat some more, so I did some
sauna hopping. I went to the red clay sauna, the Himalayan Salt sauna, and the
white clay sauna, I mixed in some times in the ice room to cool down, and even
spent 15 minutes reading on the hot stone beds.
I met up with my bf, who was still relaxing back in the relaxation lounge, and we watched the sun go down over Manhattan and realized we only had an hour left before changing to go back to NYC. We made a plan to hit up some of the things we hadn’t seen yet, and started with the Ganbanyoku Room. This is “bedrock bathing,” which is basically Japanese hot stone therapy. According to SoJo’s website, you lay down on a “heated black mineral slab which emits far-infrared rays and negative ions to speed up the release of toxins from the body through perspiration. Pressure points around the body that are in contact with the stones are stimulated to alleviate joint, muscular and nerve pain. Other benefits include healthier skin tone, blood circulation and improved immune system.” Again, not sure I believe any of that. But what I can say for sure is it was HOT. I mean like 110 degrees. You must put towels down under every part of your skin that is showing including your toes. I lasted approximately 8 minutes in that room. We then headed back to the pools for a final dip. First to the carbon-rich bath, and then to the Hinoki, or white cedar bath.
No pics!! Relaxation only!!
View of the GW Bridge
Nighttime in the hydrotherapy pools
Steam!
Unfortunately, our time was up (if we didn’t want to miss
our free shuttle back to NYC), so we went back to the locker room, changed,
checked out by scanning our wristbands and paying for any extras, and headed
back downstairs to our shoe lockers.
Overall, it was a fantastic experience. It was crowded, but on the Sunday of a 3-day weekend, it was no more crowded than I expected. I still was able to experience everything I wanted – 4 saunas, 5 hot tubs, I finished half of a book, spent time with my bf, AND I got to take a nap in the middle of the day. I can’t imagine going in the summer, because my favorite part of the hot tubs and saunas was the cold outside air in between. However, there are cold pools and waterfalls, and chaise lounges for tanning in the summer. Those were all closed in January. I may need to check it out in June and write a compare/contrast blog by season. Anyone want to go with me?
Happy New Year everyone! I hope you had a night filled with
champagne and a next day filled with naps and recovery. At least, that’s what I
did.
As you may know from years past, I don’t totally believe in resolutions, but yet I make them every year. This past year, instead of calling them “resolutions,” I instead called them goals, and I tried my best to work toward them all year. As I said in my previous post about resolutions, they don’t have to be negative or painful, like, “starve self to lose 10 pounds in a month.” Mine tend to be more positive, like “use all of my vacation days.”
One of my failed resolutions 2018, as you may recall, was starting a bullet journal. Well SURPRISE, I decided to actually try my hand at BuJo-ing again in 2019, and I switched up a few things about it to try and set myself up for success. I will dedicate an entire post to my semi-successful BuJo next week, but for now, I mention it because it’s where I wrote down my goals! That’s TIP #1: write your goals down!
I decided to split my goals into categories both for
organization purposes and also because it helped me focus my thoughts and think
meaningfully about them. Also, I tried to follow the ultimate goal formula, to
make them SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Based).
My categories for the year were: Personal (a little vague), Social Media,
Relationship, Work, and Financial.
Ironically, although I feel like I spend a majority of my time on social media every day, that is the sole category where I did not reach any of my goals. Lesson learned is TIP #2: Make sure you are being realistic in your goals. And TIP #3: Don’t be demoralized by failure, just reevaluate if that goal is still something you would like to achieve, decide if it should be adjusted, and then roll that goal over to the next year.
So what were my 2019 goals and did I achieve them? I’ll break it down for you.
BuJo goal-setting
Personal
Travel to 2 new countries – Check! I planned to go to Italy for my friend’s wedding, and Greece as a girls’ trip in the Fall. Sort of on a whim, my emoji-bf and I decided to add a 5-day jaunt to Paris for Labor Day, so I actually checked 3 new countries off the list! I LOVED this goal (who wouldn’t!?) and I think I’ll roll it over to 2020 to do again.
Learn to do a Dutch infinity braid on myself – Success!! I am not PERFECT at them, but they are presentable. I will continue to work on this one.
Film a tutorial video/learn how to edit video for Braid in Manhattan – FAIL! Or rather, I should say, I decided in around March that this was no longer a goal of mine. I reevaluated my business and decided it was more important to focus on getting clients and less important to give people tutorials on how to do it themselves and essentially undercut my client base.
Social Media
100 Tweets/Month – Fail!! Every year I
make some sort of goal about getting better at Twitter. This was by far my best
year yet, but I only tweeted about 650 times total. This is another roll-over
goal. I think I will attempt the same thing again.
10,000 Followers on Braid in Manhattan – For
my first year of BID, I gained over 1,000 followers from 500, and I thought
that the growth would be exponential. I was wrong. I think Instagram also
changed the algorithm so I was getting less likes as the year went on. However,
I still did gain 2,080 followers over the year so that’s a nice bump! I’ll need
to reevaluate my goal on this one. Maybe 6,000 is a more achievable goal.
Post at least 2 blogs/Month – Fail again!
As much as I try to be consistent on here, things keep popping up (like
surprise trips to Paris) and I lose my momentum. I started the year strong with
3-4 posts/month last year, but tapered off and only totaled at 17 for 2019.
This seems like a feasible goal though, and I think I will try for 2/month again.
Relationship
Date Night once a week – Success! I am so
happy this worked out, and we really tried to maintain it. I even put a
calendar reminder at 7:30 pm every Tuesday night so we would remember. It didn’t
need to be a date out, but we tried to switch between Netflix and home-cooked
meals in, and fun nights out. Since our weekend activities often don’t line up
with work travel and other responsibilities, we agreed to Tuesdays and have
stuck to it.
Over the summer at one point, we let it slip
and realized we weren’t spending any time with each other so we reinstated it
and were much happier. I recently found out that one of my bf’s friends
instated their own weekly date night and also love it, and that made me so
happy!
Work
Successful Interview Week – Check! This
is a week-long event I run every year, and for the second time, it was in LA last
year. It was a huge success with a record number of participants.
Title Change – Career Center Director – Success!
My actual title is Director of Career Services, which I like even more, but it’s
important to really visualize what you want, so I wrote that title down on
January 1 and kept looking at it every day!
Raise! $$ – Done! I went through a LONG
job search process this year that was originally unplanned (perhaps I need to
write a recap of that whole thing in a blog post), but ultimately I decided to
stay at my current employer with a new title (as seen above) and new salary!
Run Session at Continuing Education Event – Success!
I ran a session this past summer on the Johari Window and Covey
Window/Time
Management Matrix. It was great practice being in front of a group, and I
think my group teaching skills are improving.
Begin Career Coaching Course – Not only
did I begin this, I finished it! I submitted my final project last week and I
am waiting for the grade so I can begin the credentialing process (a 2020
goal).
Finance
$38K in Retirement Account – Surpassed!
Due to a good year in the markets, and a raise in the autumn, I surpassed this goal
and I’m almost at $40K. I also maxed out my Roth IRA the last 2 years. That
makes my overall net worth about -$50K! LOL
Pay off Private Student Loans – DONE.
As I talked about in a previous
blog, I transferred these to a credit card to give myself 20 interest-free
months to pay them off. And I did! WOO! Of course I still have about $100K in
Federal Loans but I’m trying to still run the clock off on those. 4.5 years to
go!
Monetize Braid in Manhattan, Make $1000 –
Surpassed! This was a great one to track and I had fun with it, filling in
segments of a bow on my savings page in my BuJo. I can’t wait to see what 2020
has in store for my fav hobby/side hustle.
Bring Lunch
3x/week – Surpassed. I brought lunch 4-5 times a week! This was a TOUGH
one. It was very time consuming, but I saved a LOT of money, and I felt like I
was eating healthier meals. It was semi annoying to always be carrying
containers with me, but I think it was worth it. I’ll be trying to continue
this one. It helps if your coworkers also bring their lunch. I love to go for a
walk so I would often go with my coworkers and then get jealous and want to buy
something. If we instead just go for a walk without a lunch destination, I save
more money and have less FOMO.
Overall, it was a great year for me and I achieved a
majority of my goals/resolutions. I am still forming my goals for the coming
year. Who says they need to begin on January 1? Mine will probably begin around
January 12. Brainstorm a few for yourself and let me know what you’re aiming
for in the comments!
I’m here today to talk about my most recent money-saving
venture: meal prep. In 2018, I had a resolution to bring my own iced coffee
from home instead of buying, and it seemed to save money (about $900/year).
When I first decided to try and meal prep, I wasn’t convinced it saved money.
In fact, I’m still not convinced. Simple math: I used to spend $6-8 on lunch
per day, with the occasional $12 day. I still feel like I spend a similar
amount in groceries, but something happened a few weeks ago to change my mind:
I actually did the calculation.
My friend posed a question to Facebook-world: “How much do
you spend per month on groceries?” Somehow, even with living in New York, I
spent less than almost everyone on the thread! I checked my
mint, and I averaged $146/month over the past year, but $170 since
December when I started bringing my own lunch ($274 if you include eating out
& delivery, but I won’t go into that). That means I only added $24/month to
my grocery bill to make about 18 lunches/month. That’s CHEAP.
To be fair, I really spent $340 on groceries, but I split
it with my emoji-bf, whose lunches I also make. I know, I know, I’m a catch.
But still… $170 for myself.
On the Facebook thread, people asked me how I did it, and
I promised a blog. But spoiler alert, it’s not a huge secret. The main secret:
it takes a LOT of time. The secondary secret: Trader Joes. Not only does TJ’s
have the lowest prices I’ve ever seen (especially on organic berries and meat),
but they also have some great pre-made/pre-seasoned things. And I’m always
trying to cut down on time, so that helps.
Every lunch I make has the same formula: protein, vegetable, lots of seasoning, and some carb (preferably whole grain).
I’ll separate those three parts and lay out some of my fav
options, while interspersing some of my go-to recipes. I have started putting
my recipes on my Instagram story when
I meal-prep, and some of my friends take screenshots to make the recipes for
themselves. I’m such a trendsetter! And budget-setter!
Protein:
TJ’s is a game-changer here. I buy their organic chicken
breast (thin-sliced). And I buy a LOT of it. Literally last week the cashier
asked if I was preparing for the apocalypse. But I just freeze it! Then I
always have chicken in the house. And I can season it however I want to make
something for the week. Also, TJ’s has some pre-seasoned proteins we like. Here
are a few of our go-to items:
Pollo
Asado – Also good, especially in taco bowls! I
throw in black beans, onions, brown rice and fresh spinach – tada!
Chicken
Sausage – Again, game changer. At Trader Joes they
have a million options (roasted garlic, jalapeno, sun-dried tomato, smoked
andouille, etc.) and they are about $4 for 5 links. At my regular grocery store
they are $8.99 so this is a HUGE savings. They are fully cooked, so it makes
for great, easy meal prep or last-minute dinner. Also, they don’t expire for a
while so I can keep it in the fridge and wait for a day when I don’t want to
cook but also don’t want to spend money.
Veggies:
TRADER JOE’S, MAN! Are you sensing a theme?? They have the
cheapest produce. Sometimes when I put a lunch together, the vegetables are
raw, sometimes baked, sometimes sautéed, or sometimes steamed. TJ’s has a lot
of “steam in bag” options, so I mostly buy these, in case I run out of time to
bake or stir fry them.
I love brussel sprouts, zucchini, broccoli, cauliflower,
and spinach. Our lunches usually contain these. The best part of making all the
food is I get to pick what’s in it!
Carbs:
Carbs are a necessity for my emoji-bf for lunch. He says
he doesn’t feel full without them. Before I started meal prepping, I often bought
salad for lunch. And even though it filled me up, I must admit that a carb
added helps me get through the day. I often don’t eat between 1:30 pm when I
finish lunch, and 9:30 pm when I get home from teaching Spin class. 8 hours is
a long time without food! Carbs help me power through.
Brown Rice. This is
usually what I make because I can put it on the stove to simmer/cook, then do
the laundry, or take a shower, or even go for a short run. I’m all about double
tasking. Also, it’s SO CHEAP. Especially at Trader Joes. I buy Basmati
sometimes, or Jasmine, both are good, and incredibly cheap. It’s about $4 for a
bag that can make 20 lunches or more.
Pasta. Again, I always
try to use an alternative grain instead of white. I like the brown rice and
quinoa fusilli pasta, or red lentil pasta, or vegetable radiatore. All of these
are about $3/bag and make 6-7 lunches.
Refrigerated ravioli:
TJ’s has some awesome ones and they are all cheap, but these are the unhealthiest
carb option of the bunch, and heaviest, so I usually reserve them for dinner.
Some of my favorites: Butternut Squash Triangoli, Lobster Ravioli, Honey
Roasted Pumpkin, Spinach Tortellini, but our absolute FAV: Porcini Mushroom
& Truffle Triangoli. Did I mention, these are each about $3??
Seasonings:
Again, I love Trader Joe’s for this. I can cook chicken a
million ways using some of my favs:
Everything Bagel
Seasoning! If you don’t have this, RUN and get some. It’s good on veggies,
salmon, chicken, bagels… pretty much everything.
Soy Teriyaki (I love
to throw chicken in a ziploc in this for 24 hours then simmer in a stir fry
with fresh veggies. DELISH!)
Tikka Vegetables or
other of the $1.99 Indian non-refrigerated packets. These come in many options,
some veggies, some with lentils. I usually will add lots of fresh veggies to
this mix and simmer on the stove. Sometimes I’ll add chicken sausage and
there’s a whole meal!
Now that you know what I like the cook, the questions are how and when? I ask myself this, too. I thought I was totally tapped out on time since I have 5 different side hustles, but somehow, I’ve managed to fit this in. I usually try to complete all food prep for the week in under 2 hours. The best way to do this is by multi-tasking and buying lots of containers.
CONTAINERS
But still wine.
I wasn’t kidding about the containers.
So many.
You need to go in with a plan. I always try to cook in the
least amount of time, and with the fewest dishes to wash (also cuts down on
time washing less). I try to always be using at least 2 or 3 cooking methods at
a time –
Example to save time: roast chicken in the oven while cooking rice on the stovetop and steaming veggies in the microwave.
Example to save dishes: boil pasta in a pot, split that into containers, then use the same pot to cook and season ground turkey, then add in the sauce and veggies in the same pot, and let simmer for 20 minutes, all while baking salmon in the oven for dinner (on foil… no dishes).
One dish!
Example of Tomato Sauce in process.
You guys get the idea. I hope this helped a little bit, even if for no other reason than to give you a shopping list of things to buy at Trader Joe’s! This blog is not sponsored, by the way. But if you have any connections at TJ’s and want to throw them my way for some coups, I’m all in! Buon Appetito!
It’s true! I have been blonde for 5 days now and I’ve been partying ever since. To be fair, it’s also been my birthday, so that may have something to do with it, but I haven’t had this much fun since I was 19!
On Wednesday, I turned 32 (WOOF, right?). To treat myself, I
decided to balayage my hair. I had been thinking about it for a while, but I
couldn’t bite the bullet because it’s so expensive! I finally decided it was time
because a friend of mine hair-shamed me. She saw a photo of my hair that I
posted on my braidstagram,
and asked if it was me. Instead of complimenting my FAB skills, she asked me if
I was growing out my roots intentionally. RUDE! The answer was yes and no.
This is the photo I was shamed for. It’s so pretty though, right??
In years past, I always went light brown/blonde in the
summer, but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to! So, I had let it go a bit too long.
And people noticed. Or at least, one of my friends did, and the others were too
nice to say anything. I decided to look into some Groupon deals, and sure
enough I found a great one with fab reviews at Salon Ascend, not too far
from my apartment. Even better, they had an appointment open on the Sunday of
my birthday celebration!
I bought the Groupon for “Hair Painting, Color Melting or
Balayage Color with Glaze and Shampoo” for $118 (usually $240). Also, I used 2
additional coupon apps (Honey, anyone?) and ended up only paying $94! A steal!
When I made the appointment, the receptionist told me to set aside 3 hours,
which seemed steep, but I made sure to pack a book, a water bottle and some
coffee.
Of course, the day of my appointment it was 94 degrees and
despite my cold shower after my run, I could not stop sweating. I arrived
looking like a hot sweaty mess, and asked for a few minutes to cool down. My
colorist, Margarita, was super sweet, looked at some photos I showed her for
inspiration, and said she would mix the color and let me sit in the A/C for a
few minutes. Praise be.
The actual process was WEIRD. I have never had my hair
professionally highlighted before, but it takes a WHILE. They weren’t kidding
about the three hours! She was very thorough, and I think I had 7 pounds of
saran wrap on my head when I was finished. Then I sat. And sat some more.
Margarita kept checking on my color, and telling me to wait a bit more. She cut
two people’s hair while I waited, and then we went to the sink. I got shampooed
and then she put in a purple toner and I waited some more. This time, no saran
wrap, just a huge plastic bag on my head. It was a LEWK. After some more
waiting, I went back for another wash, and we discussed a possible hair cut.
The Groupon didn’t include a cut or blow dry (there’s always a catch), and
although it’s usually $90 because #NewYorkPrices, she said she would do it for
$60. I usually pay $30 to cut my hair, but I also don’t usually get a blow dry.
And I didn’t feel like going to another salon after already sitting there for 3
hours. I said yes.
She did an AMAZING job. I LOVED the color and the cut, but mostly the color! Margarita told me to buy a purple shampoo to keep the brassiness out of my hair, and I purchased the same exact one she used on me in the salon for $10 on Amazon. Not bad!
The manager/receptionist/someone said she would take an “after” picture with a ring light and backdrop so the color would show more. She knew what she was doing and she even took a slow-mo video without me asking! I set it to Nicki Minaj “Anaconda” and posted it on Instagram (swipe to the second pic to see). I told her that I had a hair Instagram and I would tag her; I think she was thrilled at that. Maybe in the future I can even get some balayage for free, because I think I’m HOOKED!
I highly recommend treating yourself on your birthday,
especially if it is something that makes you smile every time you look in the
mirror! Happy Birthday to me!! I can’t wait to braid it and have those
highlights shown to Instagram
in all their expensive glory!
You’ve probably heard the phrase “money doesn’t grow on trees” or, “there’s no such thing as a free lunch.” Well, ladies and gents, I’m here to tell you that everything you learned is FALSE and there is a such thing as free money. It’s in the form of credit card bonuses and it is complete sorcery.
http://gph.is/1a4df5e
I was never part of the magic until I met my emoji boyfriend who got me in DEEP with “credit card churning,” and I’m loving every second of it. We actually have a little jig we do in our house called the “free money dance.” Not lying. Churning basically means that you get a new credit card to access the sign-on bonus, and then after a certain amount of time, you get another one, and start all over again. Some people think that this affects your credit score, which it does, but usually not enough for it to matter if you do it right. In general, a hard inquiry, which is what a credit card company does every time you apply for a new card, affects about 10% of your credit score. But if you do it infrequently enough, then your credit should be fine.
Yesterday, I just signed up for my 7th credit card in 3.5 years’ time. Aka the amount of time I have been with my boyfriend. It all started when we began to talk to each other about finances. These finance bros get off on this stuff. JK. But really, he was very interested to hear about my student loans, etc. We got to talking and he found out that I had a credit score in the middle 700’s, but had a credit card running balance of about $4,000. He was FLABBERGASTED. Literally, I think I had to pick his jaw off the ground. Maybe not literally, but he was gaping at me. He told me he didn’t understand how a person with my credit score could be paying interest on a balance, when I could just open a new card and do a balance transfer to buy myself time. Now, guys, if you’re confused, I was, too.
Quick explanation: Another reason people like to open credit cards is because they offer “balance transfer offers.” This means you can open a card, transfer your outstanding debt to a new card, and they offer to not charge you interest on it for a certain amount of time. I looked at this, realized I was getting free money, and I was HOOKED. I was able to pay off my credit card debt by saving all of the money I would have been spending on interest, and I did the same thing with my private student loans! I transferred my $6.5K from Wells Fargo to a credit card, and I have been making minimum payments for 18 months, without paying any interest! I have enough money now to pay them off by May, when the interest will kick in (this particular card had a 21-month interest-free grace period).
Again, balance
transfers are not even the tip of the iceberg of this money, as the “real
money” lies in the sign on bonuses. It seems crazy to me that this free money
exists out there in the universe and people don’t access it left and right, but
the truth is, most people don’t know how! There are millions of Reddit threads
on the topic, but it can get very technical, very quickly. I am lucky to have
an in-house financial advisor who is patient with me and explains the
intricacies. I will try my best to give an equally-as-elementary explanation
here.
I am not new to this credit card business. In fact, growing up, our family used to carry around little laminated cards in our wallets that my dad would make, to remind us which cards to use every quarter based on the percentages back we would get on different categories of purchases. Example: January through March, you should use the Discover card for gas, and the Visa for groceries; they’re 5% back. My parents still do this! This is #LevelExpert, and I do not recommend it for novices. Also, although 3% v. 6% does add up, most people “churn” for the bigger money bonuses. The Showcase Showdown, if you will, is the sign-on bonus.
Here’s the
simple summary: credit card companies want to hook you on their cards, so they
offer a bonus if you sign up and spend a certain amount of money, generally
within the first 3 months. These bonuses differ from card to card – sometimes
it’s miles, sometimes it’s points, and sometimes it’s cold hard cash in the
form of a statement credit. The catch here, of course, is that you need to
“spend money to save money.” The trick is not to open a card with a sign on
bonus if you will need to make purchases you wouldn’t normally make in order to
get the bonus. However, sometimes it’s still worth it if you come out on top!
Here’s an example: when I signed up for the Amex Platinum card, they offered a $1K bonus but you needed to spend $5K in 3 months. That is MUCH more than my budget, if you don’t include rent. So, I paid my rent on the card for a month to make the minimum. Rent in NYC is high. Now, this complicates things because my landlord charges 3% on credit card payments. But overall, it was still worth it to get the bonus.
I see some of
you guys rolling your eyes, saying that this whole process isn’t worth it. But
I ask you, if someone said you’d get $1,000 for it, wouldn’t it be worth it?
That’s the trick. You need to get a bonus that’s big enough to be worth the
work.
So far, I have
gotten:
Citi Double Cash for 18 months interest free
Citi Diamond Preferred for 21 months interest free
Chase Sapphire Preferred for 40,000 bonus points
American Express Platinum for 100,000 bonus points
American Express Charles Schwab Platinum for 60,000 bonus points
American Express Blue Preferred for $200 back
Barclay’s Arrival Plus World Elite for $700 in travel back
https://gph.is/2OWJkaQ
I want to let you guys know, I am not the only one out there doing this. A lot of people do, especially if they know they have big purchases coming up where they will be dropping a lot of mulah anyway. Another example: a friend of mine got the Amex Platinum because he bought his fiancée’s engagement ring with it. So savvy.
I have traveled many times now by using bonuses. My trip to Spain last year cost me $120 out of pocket. My trip to Costa Rica was completely free. Durham, North Carolina? Free. I also transfered $110,000 Amex points to a Charles Schwab investment account at 1.25 cents/point, which means I got $1,375 FOR FREE! I have been very fortunate to have someone explain this to me and I hope I have been helpful as well.
Still
confused? Try checking out The Points Guy; he is one of the
most famous churners on the internet nowadays, and you can filter cards by the
category you want rewards for (airline, cash back, etc.). He does receive money
from clicks, and he does have partnerships with certain cards, but he is pretty
clear when he receives kickbacks from companies, and he is also very reliable
with his information. He even has a beginner’s guide!
A few warnings
& tips:
If you have bad credit, you may not get approved for certain cards. Most credit cards rely on your credit score when they decide whether to approve you. You can check your credit score for free on Credit Karma to see where you stand.
Opening cards does affect your credit score, as I said earlier, so don’t do it too often. The general rule of thumb is to not open more than 2/year, or one every 6 months.
Closing accounts too often can also affect your score. When you close a card, your overall credit limit decreases. This increases the percentage of credit you are using (or “utilization”), and lowers your credit score. Try to keep the account open. You don’t need to use the card, just keep it in a safe place. At home.
Beware of annual fees! Some of these cards charge hefty annual fees. Sometimes it’s worth it for the bonus but be aware. You can always downgrade the card after you get the bonus, before you have to pay the annual fee the next year. Downgrading means keeping the account open but changing it to a less prestigious card without an annual fee. This way you aren’t closing an account, but you aren’t paying fees. I did this with my Chase card, switching from Sapphire Preferred ($95 annual fee) to Freedom ($0 annual fee).
Don’t carry a balance on cards. It can be very tempting to buy things. Especially when it takes 45 seconds to be approved on a new card, and they grant you a $12K credit limit straight out the gate. IT’S A TRAP! Make sure you can pay off your statement balance when it’s due, otherwise you owe interest and then THEY WIN.
A related point: If you’re opening a card to do a balance transfer, make sure you set up auto-payments for the minimum payments. You don’t pay interest, but you still have to make minimum payments, and you don’t want to miss those. Just set it on auto-pay and forget about it. Otherwise they charge interest and again THEY WIN. DON’T LET THEM WIN!
I hope this was helpful. I am not a financial planner. I am not good at this stuff. But I am understanding it more and more every day, and if I get free money and free trips, then I feel obligated to share the wealth. By wealth, I mean knowledge. Y’all b*tches aren’t getting’ any of my trips!
Do you guys have any other tips or tricks? Card recommendations? I’ll need a new one in 6 months!
As you may know, I LOVE to read. I have many “favorite” authors, but my all-time favorite author is Jodi Picoult. One of the best parts of the internet is that you can follow celebrities, keep up with them, and even sometimes (if you’re lucky!) interact with them. One of my 2019 resolutions is to be better at Twitter, and one way I discovered that I am more likely to check in on my Twitter is by following people I’m interested in. Enter: Jodi Picoult. She has such a great Twitter. Not only is she funny, but she’s very liberal, like me, and often retweets other people I want to follow. But I digress, this is not about Twitter in general, it’s about one of her tweets specifically, when she mentioned she was coming to NEW YORK!:
I clicked on the link, because obviously I wanted to join her. And guess what? The conversation was being held in a venue 9 blocks from my apartment. It felt like it was meant to be.
The theme of the talk was reproductive rights. Not only would Jodi (we’re on a first name basis) be there, but Dr. Willie Parker as well! Jodi’s most recent book is about a shooter inside an abortion clinic, and I was enthralled by the plot on page 1. She based the main character in the book, Dr. Ward, on Dr. Willie Parker.
I love reproductive rights. Really
though. I know that sounds weird, but I feel very strongly about a woman’s
right to have independence over her own body. In fact, in law school (#RIP that career),
I was on the board of Law Students for Reproductive Justice. And yes, sometimes
that position involved searching the internet for STD facts for our annual Sex
Ed Trivia fundraiser, but it was for a good cause!
I could not wait to be in the same room
as Dr. Willie Parker, a
world-renown doctor, abortion provider, and author. I have not yet read Dr.
Parker’s book, Life’s Work: A Moral Argument for Choice,
but it has been on my to-read list for a year. I guess I’ve been too busy
reading Jodi’s stuff. I knew they would both have interesting things to say,
and I also looked forward to their interaction with each other, since they seem
so different.
There were a few tiers of tickets, but I bought the cheapest one because… law school loans. Also, the other tiers all included a copy of Jodi’s book and I already have a signed copy, natch. Even my best friend knows about my love for Jodi Picoult, so she mailed me a signed copy all the way from Seattle a few months ago. The day before the event, I was so excited that I tweeted about my enthusiasm, and Jodi replied! She said she couldn’t wait (to be in my presence, no doubt).
I arrived super early because it was blocks from my house and I got a prime seat. The conversation itself lasted for an hour and was moderated by Lizz Winstead, a hilarious Writer/Producer/Comic, Co-creator of The Daily Show, and fierce advocate of reproductive rights. She founded Lady Parts Justice, an organization dedicated to raising awareness of legislative attempts to block women’s reproductive freedoms (straight from Wikipedia, so it must be true). Between her witty commentary between questions, and both Jodi and Dr. Parker’s thoughtful answers, it was a fantastic experience. Most notably, Jodi talked about her experience shadowing Dr. Parker in his clinics for a few days while researching for her book. I loved her description of Dr. Parker’s calm and meaningful bedside manner. And then, she broke out the best story of the night: She said that they did a lot of driving together while she was shadowing him, because he works at clinics in two different states. Once, he was driving and they were eating M&Ms and he dropped one. He was looking for the missing M&M between the seat and the center console and he said “Man! It’s tighter in here than operating in a woman’s vagina!” The whole audience burst out in laughter while Dr. Parker looked to the sky for God’s forgiveness and then to his wife in the front row to mouth “sorry.” The whole thing was hysterical.
Although the vibe of the conversation was light-hearted, they both tackled tough issues. They spoke about the right for a woman to have autonomy over her body, and about the importance of a common language in speaking about reproductive rights, like the difference between a “baby” and a “fetus.” My favorite thing Jodi said was, “Laws are written in black and white. But women’s lives are lived in hundreds of shades of gray. For that reason, it is important not to let laws control our lives and bodies.”
I didn’t get a chance for a selfie with Jodi or Dr. Parker, but I did get some photos of them and I did get a very happy ending. As I walked out of the venue, there was a table outside for Lady Parts Justice, and I asked how to get involved again in supporting the cause. I leaned down to sign up for their mailing list, and two of the girls tabling complimented my hair. I explained about my side hustle, Braid in Manhattan, and they were both elated. They said they would love for me to help them with events and collaborate. I could think of nothing better than reproductive rights, volunteering, and braiding all in one place. I can’t wait to work with them and make a difference, even if it’s by brightening a woman’s day with a FIERCE hairstyle. I’ll keep you posted!
