Fitness

Fitbit Fixation

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I am addicted to my fitbit. And I do not care what anybody says, it absolutely helps me stay fit and someday (maybe after I stop eating 2 ice creams/day) it WILL help me lose weight. Here’s how I know: when I’m not wearing it, I am willfully lazier. This can be easily explained by a quick comparison: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Similarly, if I walk to work and I’m not wearing my fitbit, does it even count?? Answer: NO. SO WHY BOTHER. The wheels on the MTA bus go round and round, and I have a fancy piece of very expensive paper called an unlimited Metrocard.

In November 2015, my life changed. It makes my blood curdle to think about the hundreds of thousands of steps I took before then, ALL WASTED. In 2015, my favorite emoji-faced boyfriend got me a fitbit Charge HR because I was incredibly jealous of his. I was so excited to compete with him in steps and in sleep! Spoiler Alert: I beat him every single day in both, as he was working 80+ hours/week, which didn’t leave much time for movement or sleep. (Fun Fact: I still beat him every day, and he no longer works those hours.) Anyway, that is how my addiction began. It has slowly progressed to take control of my entire life.

Since then, I have switched to the newer, more advanced, Charge 2 Fitbit. The Charge 2 tracks multiple forms of exercise, has a GPS for my runs, receives my text messages and alerts me of calendar events, and it reminds me to move 250 steps every hour between 8 am and 7 pm. My fitbit buzzes on my wrist like a dog collar at 10 minutes to the hour to remind me to move if I have not walked enough. It is a part of me and I am a part of it. I wear it 23 hours and 50 minutes/day, with 10 minutes off for a shower. That means I also wear it to bed. (I have often wondered if it tracks THAT type of activity too… 😉 ). It tracks my sleep not just in awake/asleep increments, but in full light/deep/REM cycle stages. Spoiler alert #2: I never get more than 7 hours of sleep from M-F, I’m lucky if I get 6. Fitbit is sure to always remind me of that, although the circles under my eyes are a clear enough indicator.

Let me tell you a quick horror story from 2 weeks ago. I had taken my fitbit off at work (GASP) because I needed to charge it and I knew I had a big project to work on. I figured I would charge it for 50 minutes, until it yelled at me to “Get Steppin!” at 10 minutes til the top of the hour. Then, the unthinkable happened: 5 o’clock came and went, and I left the office without my fitbit. Now, on any day, this would be enough for me to panic and go back to the office. But on this particular day, I was on my way to teach a Spin class. So many lost steps! I usually get 8,000 steps between walking to the train, walking to the gym, teaching, walking to the train, and walking home. And this doesn’t even count the workout that I specifically track. How would I know what my max heart rate was, and how long my intervals were, and how many calories I burned, and what my average heart rate was over the 1 hour???

But I was already late, and I didn’t have time to go back. Devastation. And it gets worse: I was teaching the next morning at 7 am before work, which meant before I got a chance to get my fitbit!! 11,000 MORE steps wasted!! (Different gym, further from the subway station). Now I know what you’re thinking: “WHAT A TRAVESTY!” Oh, you weren’t thinking that? Were you thinking “this girl is crazy; how does she know how many steps it takes her to get from home to every different gym in the 5 boroughs of New York City?” Obsessive fitbit-checking, that’s how.

I know how many steps it is from my street corner to the front door of my apartment (420, if I take the elevator). I know how many steps it is from my work computer to my favorite bathroom (one-way, and round-trip). I know how many steps it is from my bed to my refrigerator (12, I have long legs). I know how many times I have to walk around the living room to get to 250 steps (14, New York apartments are small).

I thought that I was alone in my obsession, but I am becoming more and more aware that I am one of MANY. How do I know? At 9:50, 10:50, 11:50 etc, the hallways get a lot more crowded at work. And at first glance, it looks like everyone is running late checking their watches, but no, they are checking their fitbits. My own sister admitted to me last week that she purposefully waits until after the 5 o’clock hour, so she can get her 250 steps in before she gets in the car to commute home, in case traffic lengthens her commute (god forbid) and it forces her to miss her mandatory steps for the hour. My whole family, in fact, competes in steps every week. Monday evening we receive our “Weekly Progress Report from Fitbit” via email, which inevitably starts a sh*t-talking family group text. My mom is having a hip replacement next month, and she has already warned me that I better watch out because once she gets her new hip, I will never win the week again. GAME ON MOMMY. I have realized that fitbit has made me frighteningly competitive. And I generally play to win, even with a desk job, since it takes me 2,000 steps to get to work, and that’s if I take the subway! As my fitbit would say, “CRUSHED IT!”

Anyone else want to be my Fitbit friend/frenemy/ultimate-stepping-nemesis? Add me! I promise to double you in steps.

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Fitness

305 Fitness/305 FitnASS

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In the past week I have been to two dance-cardio classes, 305 Fitness and The Dance with Amanda Kloots, and I have never had more fun. In fact, after The Dance, the instructor came up to me and told me I was “cute” and she liked all of my smiles. I couldn’t help it, I had a blast! And when I was 2 beats behind, I was still having fun laughing at myself. I even went to one of the classes FOR FREE (SEE BELOW!) So what’s the difference and which one is for you? Check out my review below of 305 Fitness, and my review of The Dance coming later this week.

305 FitnASS

Metaphor: Zumba on crack. This place is all about fun, funk, sass, feminine positivity and CARDIO. Like woah. I left that class completely drenched and feeling all of the positive vibes. 305 Fitness, named for Miami’s area code (even though it was started in NYC) is all about Miami-inspired high-intensity rhythmic cardio with a LIVE DJ, sprint intervals, sculpting, and a stretch cooldown.

I’m not going to lie, I am a bit jaded about 305, because I have a rough history with them: Two years ago, after taking 3 classes and falling in love, I interviewed to be their studio manager. At the time, I had 9 years of experience in the fitness industry, management knowledge, I’m a girl, I’m sassy, AND I’m from South Florida (5-6-1, not 3-0-5, but close enough). I was sure I was a shoo-in. Sure enough, I had three interviews, culminating in a 2.5 hour meeting with a panel of three, including the founder, Sadie Kurzban, where they insisted it be in the middle of the day so I had to take a day off of work. Ultimately, they gave the job to someone else. That alone would not have put a bad taste in my mouth, but what happened after, did.

The Director of Operations called me, left a voicemail asking for me to call back so he could speak to me in person to “talk to me about the position at 305.” I thought I got the job! But no, instead, he told me that in exchange for my time interviewing, he would gift me 2 free classes, and he offered for me to join their “work-study team,” to work FOR FREE at their front desk in exchange for free classes. BOY, PLEASE!!! I actually waited a minute to see if he was kidding. Not only am I a licensed ATTORNEY IN TWO STATES, I already have a full-time job where they pay me, I also have a part-time job, working for a gym, where they PAY ME to teach classes AND I get all the free classes I want! This is New York City, the land of the hustle, not the land of indentured servitude. I am 10 years and 3 careers past accepting an unpaid internship. Needless to say, it left a bad taste in my mouth and I did not even take advantage of those free classes. In retrospect, if they weren’t paying their front-desk people ANYTHING, they probably couldn’t have paid me enough anyway.

Fast-forward 2 years, and I was ready to pop back into their new studio (they added one in midtown), where I would hopefully not be recognized. I figured I had talked enough sh*t throughout 2 years (maybe not enough, since I’m talking more sh*t here), and plus, I was in the mood to DANCE! Classes are $32 a piece, but you can get a 2 for 1 deal if you are new, OR you can get a completely free class, compliments of a lululemon collaboration, before August with the code: 305xlululemon17. I cannot turn down a free class, so I sucked up my pride, and became a “junkie” last Friday night.  They call their clients junkies because they “can’t get enough.”

Walking into the studio, I already knew I would have fun. The vibe was fun and flirty, hot pink and bright orange, and even their trash cans sported their tagline “Make Sweat Sexy.” The chandeliers were made of SmartWater Bottles, and they had shirts for purchase that said “Beyoncé Tubman Ruth and Steinem.” They also had a graphic tee that said “MY BITCH FACE NEVER RESTS.” Love that.

The class itself was an epic sweat-fest, as I said before. The first 30 minutes were straight jumping and dripping, with arms flailing, DJ spinning, and heart pumping. My instructor was Destiny, and she sort of seemed pissed off when we weren’t getting all of the moves, but maybe that’s just her RBF. She was an amazing dancer, and I was not taking myself too seriously, so I disregarded the look on her face. Also, she was sick so her voice was almost gone and it was difficult to hear her. Most of the moves were easy to follow with non-verbal cues and clapping, like in Zumba, and I definitely got a good workout, even if I missed a move or two.

After 30 minutes, we switched to 6 minutes of butt-toning with ankle weights (we chose the 305 FitnASS class), and then back to 20 more minutes of partner cardio, disco lines, and twerking across the floor, including a segment on our hands and knees. I think my face got a workout as well as my body, from laughing at myself so much. At one point, Destiny came over to me and we partner twerked, butt-on-butt, for a full 20 seconds. First, I was focusing on how my sweaty butt was probably getting her legs wet since she was in tiny, tiny booty shorts, but after I got over that, it was pretty fun.

Overall, it’s a great cardio-dance class, with a strong emphasis on cardio, and I highly recommend this class for anyone, dancer or not. Maybe not recommended if you have bad knees, since we were basically jumping for 45 minutes straight! I had a lot of fun, I got a great workout, and I was sore for two days. Should you work for them for free? Definitely not. Is one class worth $32? Probably not, but there isn’t much I would spend that money on. Is it worth a subway ride and a free class code? Absolutely yes.

Extra tip: I recommend bringing a friend so you can laugh with and make fun of each other, and so you have a built-in photographer to take twerking gifs of you in the black light. #MAKESWEATSEXY!

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Fitness

My First Half Marathon, in stream of consciousness

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This morning I ran 13.1 miles for the very first time. Have you ever done this? Are you considering it? If you are, then stop considering it right now because I did it for you, and I’ll tell you exactly what it was like in real, stream-of-consciousness thoughts:

  • 6:30 am: **alarm** Ok. I’m awake. Step one done. Now I can do this race. Ok, no I can’t. But at least I didn’t press snooze. I’m doing better than a work day.
  • 7:10 am: Eggs made, outfit on. I may actually be on time. But I have to do my hair and it must be perfect or I will break my leg running or faint or something.
  • 7:20 am: OMG how did I just do my hair well in ten minutes on the first try? This is a good omen. I’m not going to die. Should I put my house key in my zipper pocket? Or should I tie it on my left shoe like usual? My shoe might annoy me. My pocket though, that’s not good for my OCD. Ok I need to just decide or I’m going to be late. When did I get this superstitious?
  • 7:50 am: Start line. I think I’m going to poop my pants. UGH I hate Porta Potties. Must. Not. Poop. Pants. Where are all the cute guys? Oh yeah, it’s a women’s only race. Are there really 9,399 other females here? Are we all crazy? This is why guys don’t date us. Because almost 10,000 of us wake up before dawn on a Sunday to run around a park multiple times.
  • Mile 1: Why are there so many people? Hopefully it thins out soon. Wait, why is every single person passing me? Oh yeah, because I’m in way too fast of a corral. How demoralizing. Blame my ankle sprain. Only 12.1 to go.
  • Mile 3: This isn’t too bad. But where’s the water station? I shouldn’t have passed up that first one. I knew I would regret that. Damnit damnit damnit. It’s ok. I’m ok. SHIT. 10.1 more miles?? That’s more than 10!! It’s ok. I’m ok I’m cursing a lot for mile 3. 10.1 to go…
  • Mile 4: Harlem Hill. FML. I think I can, I think I can. *Sees spectator with sign “Top of the Hill”* OMG I think the messiah has officially come. **sees sign for mile marker 10** OMFG I have to do this hill AGAIN? After 6 more miles? FRACK.
  • Mile 7: Ok I am absolutely killin it. I ran the whole first lap without walking (except for water breaks). How am I still with the 1:55 pacer? I’m running way too fast. Then again, my brother said to just go with it if I find myself going faster than expected. Also, there are approximately 4,000 females ahead of me. Ok, I’m not going too fast after all.
  • Mile 8: Where the hell are my friends and my boyfriend? I swear if they said they were going to cheer me on and they don’t show up, I’ll be PISSED. OOOH. That was good. Keep that anger. Anger = Speed. Be mad. Be very very mad.
  • Mile 9: I’m done. Ok. Well, that was fun. You think I can just wave my race number like a surrender flag? Oh crap, that girl just fainted. “Um, NYRR volunteer? Yes, um, that girl over there? She just fainted.” I haven’t fainted yet so I’m still ok. I can do this. Don’t faint. Don’t faint.
  • Mile 10: Harlem Hill AGAIN? You’ve got to be kidding me. I was hoping the park topography would change in the hour since I was here last time. No such luck.
  • Mile 11: OMG RUN CLUB!!! LULU RUN CRU!! Pretend not to look dead. Look strong. Pretend you are not dying a slow, painful death from the feet upward. REMEMBER INSTAGRAM *blow kisses* *smiles* *waves to friends*
  • Mile 12: YESSS FRIENDS AND BOYFRIEND!!! AND A SIGN JUST FOR ME!! I CAN DO THIS!!
  • Mile 13: WHYYYYYY is there a .1? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHO MADE THIS RACE 13 POINT ONE?!
  • Finish: Did I die? *takes selfie* Omg I didn’t die. Must. Ice. Ankle. But first, I will jump very high in the air multiple times for Instagram because this is never happening again. Probably. Maybe…

Post-Race thoughts:

  • I’m going to eat ALL OF THE FOOD today.
  • Thank god my shower has handicapped railings in it.
  • I’m so glad my boyfriend came to support me because it would have really sucked to have to break up with him.
  • People who run full marathons must take crazy pills.

So yeah, I don’t necessarily recommend it. But I did get a medal. And a great excuse to eat carbs for 7 days (carb-loading goes on for a week, right?). Please feel free to tell me how incredibly proud of me you are in the comments.

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Fitness

Half Marathon Training

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I’m training for a half marathon. I’m actually going to run 13.1 miles. In 6 days. How, you ask? GOOD QUESTION.

I never considered myself a runner. More often, I’m a professional running spectator (see above, also, more on my FAMOUS signs later). In fact, I have said “I’m not a runner” more times than I can count. True tidbit: as soon as I decided to run this race, I spent more time on amazon.com looking for a tank top that said “I Hate Running” than I spent actually ever training for this race.

However, that is not to say I have never run before. I have been teaching fitness classes for 11 years and I go to a weekly free run club with lululemon. (More on my love for luxtreme another time). More than 13 miles, though? That’s for crazy people. And now, I guess, for me. A few weeks ago, I went on a 12.5 mile run (I know… psychotic). At mile 9, an ambulance from Central Park Medical Unit drove right by me, and I swear they slowed down just a bit when they saw me trudging along. Just in case. Unfortunately, I sprained my ankle last weekend, which will no doubt slow me down even more. Luckily, I have my trusty CPMU friends from that last run. Good news is, now they already know me 😉

You know how some people have crazy superstitious rituals before sports games to make sure they win? Well I have those crazy rituals before my training runs. You know, to make sure I survive. And no, I don’t just mean that I double check that my headphones work.

Here is a list of things I do before my runs in order of least crazy to most crazy:

  • Double tie my shoes.
  • Fill a water bottle. Plastic. Must not be the first time using it. I know, I know, bad idea, blahblah, but it’s a compulsion!!
  • Eat 2 eggs. Scrambled. Salt, pepper, nothing else.
  • Sit on my @$$ for at least 2 hours. If I accidentally go for a walk, I must start my sitting ritual again. (I can’t go for a run on not-fresh legs, DUH!)
  • Make sure my house key is on my left shoe, in between the first knot and the bow. ALWAYS.
  • Braid my hair. No I do not mean REGULAR, run-of-the-mill braid. It must be fun-looking. Also, it must ALWAYS be different. I have taken to watching youtube tutorials about braiding specifically for this purpose. Dutch Braid Headband? PIECE OF CAKE. Waterfall braid? CHECK. Ladder braid? Still a work in progress. I am not kidding about this, though. I have even taken to hashtagging my snapchats #GoodBraidGoodRun, as a super fun, lighthearted way of saying “I have an OCD problem related to my running rituals.”

Why am I sharing these tidbits with you? Do I recommend them for people trying to train for a half marathon? No. Definitely not. Do as I say, not as I do. Or something like that.

I guess this is just as an FYI so you feel a little less crazy when you do crazy things. Plus, there are people even crazier than me out there. Like people who run actual full marathons. WHY?

And yet, every first Sunday of November, every year, I am out on the NYC Marathon course cheering on the runners. I was even featured once in Buzzfeed for my amazing signage (#30). So please, cheer me on! CENTRAL PARK, THIS WEEKEND, SUNDAY April 30th. It’ll give me someone to show off my fancy braid skills to, besides my Instagram. (Have you added me yet?) WISH ME LUCK IN THE COMMENTS, and I’ll see you on the course!!

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