Bridesmaid Proposals

As my wedding draws closer, I think it’s time to talk about it again. It’s been six weeks, I feel like I’ve earned it. Today’s topic: bridesmaid proposals. I know what you’re thinking: WTF is that?

Ladies and gents, the bridal industry has done it again. They have created yet another needless thingamabob. But this one I was excited to get behind because it involves giving presents to people who mean the most to you. And I love giving presents.

However, it’s important for me to start by saying: I didn’t care about bridesmaids. I felt very strongly that I didn’t care. I told my best friend a year ago not to be offended if I ended up not having any. And then, like much of the wedding planning, I left it up to my fiancé. I said, “do you want our parties to match in size? And if so, how many do you want and I’ll match it.” So he chose two, his brother and brother-in-law, and I chose two, my sister and best friend.

Now the proposal situation. I think in years past people used to just approach their friends and say, “will you be my bridesmaid?” Eventually this morphed into a card that said, “will you be my bridesmaid?” Now, Etsy has an entire section of the site dedicated to these proposal boxes and they include everything from personalized champagne flutes to $80 embroidered robes.

SPOILER ALERT: They said yes. Would they have said yes without all of this hullabaloo? Probably. Ok, definitely. But was it fun to put together and scheme? Also definitely.

Ideally, I would have asked them both in person, but since my BFF lives across the country, I needed to ask my sister in person when we went wedding dress shopping, keep it a secret, and then send a box across the country and depend on the USPS. Yikes!

I wanted to send something meaningful and fun, and include things that would actually be used. This was especially true as I thought about the gifts for my sister who lives in New York. The last thing we need in NYC is tchotchkes. The theme of the gifts was loosely: beach, travel, love, all-inclusive resort.

In general, I gave my two bridesmaids the same things, including heart-shaped dark chocolates, heart-shaped sunglasses (counts as “beach” and “love”!), travel toiletry containers and a carrying case, and a luggage tag. I also included a few “primping” items like under eye patches and foot scrub. I personalized those a bit; my BFF who works nights got special eye patches with caffeine infused. And my sister who loves her calluses did not get a foot repair kit.

And because I’m obsessed with hair, they also both got hair ties. I got them in their favorite color palettes, and of course the hair ties came on a piece of cardstock that said “Will You Help Me Tie the Knot? To have & to hold your hair back.” I got those from Etsy. I told you, there’s a whole industry for these things!

I also got personalized straws from Etsy that I had engraved. If you don’t know my love for straws, you do now. I ONLY drink from straws. Exclusively. And one of the biggest problems with all-inclusive resorts is that they have gotten rid of straws. It ALMOST makes me not want to go at all. Almost. Anyway, I tried to fix that problem by giving reusable ones to my bridesmaids and their spouses.

Last but certainly not least, the cards. In fact, this was my favorite part of the gift. I saw an influencer (*eye roll*) get these cards and they were too amazing to pass up. You can personalize every aspect from the items held in the bride and bridesmaids’ hands, the hairstyles, the hair color, the skin tone, the robe color, the text, the names, everything! And the artist on Etsy was SO accommodating. I asked her if she could create some sort of head covering for my sister and we went back and forth twice to create the perfect head scarf. I was obsessed with these cards. I chose drinks that I thought my bridesmaids would order in Mexico, and I picked their favorite colors for the robes.

Oh, did I mention I also wrote poems for each individual item in the box and scrapbooked them because I am a crazy person? Honestly, this is definitely the craziest thing I have done so far pre-wedding. I won’t share all of the poems because there were A LOT, but I’ll share my intro poem to them:

Six years have come and gone and now it’s finally time,

To tie the knot and seal the deal, so that deserves a rhyme.

This wedding stuff is dumb, it’s just a lot of things,

I’m mostly here for lifelong love (and of course those gorgeous rings).

The thing that matters most to me is being with my favs,

My sister and my BFF in front of breaking waves.

My bridesmaid count is only 2 and one of them is you,

One a Shiksa Goddess, and one an Ortho Jew.

What color dress? Should they match? I really do not care,

You know the only thing I’ll control is the quality of hair.

I’ll leave it up to you to pick a color you both like,

Assuming before May, the Covid numbers again don’t spike.

I hope I’m not a bridezilla, I’m trying my very best,

All I know’s I want you there as a most important guest.

So SHALL you be my bridesmaid and stand with me in Cabo?

We can eat and drink unlimited until I am a blob-o!