Fitness

Fit for Free Yoga

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I am a workout fiend but there’s one workout I never do: YOGA. The reason being, I am one of the most inflexible people you will ever meet. I’m talking, I can barely touch my toes. However, with all of the running and spinning that I do, yoga is probably the one thing I need the most! So how did I end up reaching for my far-away-toes and attempting to contort my body into unheard-of poses on Tuesday night? Well mostly because it was my favorite price: FREE. I’m a sucker for a free workout, especially a free CLASS, which is why I started following the blog, Fit For Free months ago. The creator of the blog, Alexa Lippman, posts all different types of free and reduced-price workouts on her blog and Instagram, but for some reason, the mood struck me to try out some contortionism Tuesday.

First, a quick history of my yoga “practice” and inflexibility:

Flashback to college, when I started training to become a fitness instructor. They forced us to complete a fitness assessment with the trainers. I remember laying on my back as the trainer pushed my straight leg back as far as he could, measuring the angle. I remember him telling me to stop pushing back against him. I remember him laughing asking if I was trying to mess with him. I remember me adamantly saying, “no, I’m just that inflexible.” I remember him telling me he had never met anyone with as tight hamstrings as me. I remember trying out a yoga class that Friday, in an attempt to take the trainer’s suggestion to “stretch the f*ck out.” I remember laughing/falling on my face in yoga. I remember vowing to never return.

Flash-forward 9 years later, when I agreed to do a 20-minute yoga-for-runners class at lululemon after run club. SURPRISE! I was still inflexible and a complete yoga-dummy.

Flash-forward to receiving the email from Fit For Free about a free Lyons Den Power Yoga class at Athleta. There would be refreshing dandelion tea after class, and I am a sucker for free snacks and beverages. Plus, the email promised it would be ok for yogi-failures. Direct quote from the email:

Class is open to all levels – so whether you practice yoga everyday, or this is your very first time, everyone is welcome. Trust me, you will very likely see me fall out of tree pose, I am no pro. So don’t be intimidated if you’re not a regular yogi. This event is meant for everyone to have fun, take an awesome yoga class, and meet some new like-minded fitness friends.

Sounded legit. I like fitness friends! I figured that if Alexa, the creator of a fitness blog, was going to fall out of tree pose, I could fall out of tree pose with her! Not that I knew what “tree pose” even was…

I gathered all of my strength, literally and figurately, and I signed up. I got there early, so I could panic and talk myself out of leaving for a full 45 minutes, as one does. I watched all of these lithe females walk in with their own yoga mats, and proceeded to freak out a little more. Finally, we entered the room barefoot (good thing I got a pedicure!), grabbed a block, and picked a mat. Unluckily for everyone else, the back 4 rows were full. I was in the second row, in plain view for everyone to watch me make a fool of myself. NBD.

We began with a meditation where we reflected and wrote on a post-it note something that was making us bitter recently so we could think about it and let go of it during class. Usually this inner-peace/reflection/contemplation/bogus is not my thing. But it has been SO DAMN HOT lately. And I was freaking bitter about it. So obvi I wrote “THE HEAT” in all capital letters. It actually made me feel better. We began to down dog, forward fold, crescent lunge, tadasana, rag doll. Not in that order. Also, I’m not gonna lie, I just googled “basic yoga poses” because I’m basic (in more ways than one), and because I didn’t remember any of the names. At one point, the amazing instructor, Christine Mahoney, said, “you don’t have to look around, everyone looks fantastic and is doing fine!” Little did she know, I was looking around because I had absolutely no idea what a “forward fold” was (and yes, in hindsight it really should have been self-explanatory).

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Anyway, TBH it was a lot of fun. It was so different than running/spinning, but the “power” part of power yoga meant it was a fast-paced class and I wasn’t bored at all, which was my primary concern. Plus, I was super busy the whole class trying to look around and figure out what I was supposed to be doing, while simultaneously trying not to fall on my face. I didn’t get a single bruise! Also, I felt looser and less tense than I had in weeks. Possibly months. Ok, years.

I’d say it was an overall success. I don’t know if I’d ever pay to embarrass myself, but I would be down (down dog?) to try it again for no cost! I even found myself googling “free yoga NYC” this morning. And one thing’s for sure, I’ll def be following Fit for Free to see if any other free classes pop up! You should, too! And follow me, because I promise to repost 😊

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Travel

Forgotten Florida Facts

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I lived in Florida for 13 years, and in the 7 years since I left, I forgot a few things. I was lucky enough to spend last weekend (and Rosh Hashanah) in Florida, like 7 million other old Jews, and it reminded me of these unique Floridian things:

  • Beach towels. Bring them everywhere. Do not fret if you forget them, every other person coming to the beach will have a few extras in the trunk of their car. Or an old sheet. You can see from the feature photo that we had enough towels for three of us to lay on. Miss you already, ladies!
  • Publix, Where Shopping is a Pleasure. They now have Wawa popping up all over Florida and you all know I have a special place in my heart for a hoagie. But absolutely nothing beats a Chicken Tender Pub Sub.
  • Publix bags. Everyone has them. Dog poop. Kitty litter. Sweaty clothes. Wet swimsuits. They are so multi-purpose. And you always knows where to find them. Under the sink! In every single house, without fail.

  • Humidity. There’s no such thing as walking in Florida. It’s basically just swimming. Don’t even bother owning a blow-dryer or a straightening iron. Every minute you spend trying to do your hair is just another minute of your life you will never get back. And your hair will frizz out within 10 seconds of leaving the house anyway. Don’t bother.
  • Concealed carry. And I’m not even talking about guns, I’m talking about booze. Since everyone needs to drive to get places, they can’t drink til they get there! Gotta pack mini bottles of liquor in the purse. Then Uber home, of course. What did we do before Uber!?!
  • “Season.” If you are from South Florida, I don’t need to say any more. For you non-Floridians, no, I’m not talking about winter, spring, summer, or fall. One of my friends works at a country club, and she is off for 6 weeks right now, “between summer and season.” This is snowbird season. When the entire 70+ year-old-population of the northeast USA and Canada descends on Florida. This is also sometimes known as Q-tip season, so-named for the white puffy fluffy tops-of-heads you can see barely visible above the steering wheels. Wear your seat belt year-round, but DEF wear it from October-March.
  • The worst drivers in the world. I’m not just talking about the Q-Tips. Drivers in Florida are horrific. I mean, we don’t even have to parallel park to pass the driving test. And we get our licenses when we are 16. And keep them through death. Basically, anyone can pass the test. At least by the second time they take it (cough cough, me).
  • Bipolar weather. The weather in Florida is CRAZY. Unlike anywhere else. One may infer that by saying “bipolar,” I mean that it changes often. Perhaps I should call it multiple personality weather. Meaning it’s a million different things AT THE SAME DAMN TIME. Totally mind-blowing. I remember when I was growing up in Florida, sometimes it was raining in the front of the house but not in the back. I am not exaggerating. On my first day in Florida last weekend, we were driving to the beach and we got caught in a terrible rain storm. So bad that people were driving 15 MPH on I-95. It takes a pretty bad storm for Florida drivers to slow down. See above. Anyway, in any other place, you’d probably abandon your beach plans in this weather, but in Florida, we looked east and realized it was actually beautiful and sunny by the beach. Sure enough, when we got to the beach it was hot, sunny, and I got a great tan.
  • Font size on cell phones. This goes hand in hand with the median age in Florida. People cannot see. If they haven’t had cataracts surgery yet, they probably should. Absolutely nothing that people write on their cell phones is private in Florida, because it can be seen from a mile away. And this is coming from someone with -10 vision. I could read the old man’s text to his son from 4 seats down at the bar. He was wishing him a Happy New Year.

Shanah Tovah betches 😊 NEXT YEAR IN BOCA!! (and more about my trip later this week!)

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Big City Living

Oktoberfest NYC

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According to the almighty Wikipedia, Oktoberfest is the world’s largest Volksfest, aka beer festival and travelling funfair. Since I don’t love beer and barely ever drink it, I turned down an invitation to go to Munich with some friends a few years ago to experience it in all its glory. However, this year my friend told me about an Oktoberfest in NYC, and SURPRISE, it was FREE. My favorite price. Beer or no beer, I am all about the free entertainment. (Third installment about my student loans coming up this week).

Oktoberfest runs from mid-September to the first weekend in October. Yes, Oktoberfest is not really an OCTOBER-fest. Germans are strange. Anyway, there are still a few weekends left of the event so if my blog below sounds fun, check out the event for yourself! General admission is free, or you can choose to buy tickets that include two hours of beer tasting for $60. Since I don’t like beer, and since I am poor, I chose the free option, duh.

The weather in NYC has been pretty gross: 80-90% humidity and 85 degrees Fahrenheit. However, last Sunday it was at least sunny and there was beer to cool down with. They didn’t accept any cash inside the event, so you had to purchase tickets to buy beer and food. The tickets were $9/piece which is hefty, but at least the beers were sizeable. Also, they had a “buy 11 tickets, get 2 free” deal, which we found out about too late. Serves us right for not reading the signs and streamlining to the bar.

The event was outside at Pier 15, with awesome views of all of the bridges, and of a few military planes landing. Some people thought they carried the President, but I personally could not care less if he’s in town, if you catch my drift.

There were ping pong tables, corn hole games, multiple “head in hole” boards, aka Cutout Boards. I tried one of them out. Not as many as this guy with 2,400, but still. And I couldn’t resist, I had two beers. I didn’t love the taste, or the carbonation, but it was very refreshing! Did I mention they had bratwursts and pretzels the size of your head? They did. They also had chicken nuggets, although I’m not sure the German connection to those. The bartenders were all wearing traditional dirndls and lederhosen, as were some of the patrons. Some of them were Halloween-costume-style, and not “traditional,” per se, as noted by my friend who has been to the real Oktoberfest. They looked real to me. And silly. Clearly we had to take a pic with one of the guys.

My favorite part of the day was when a member of the event staff began speaking in a terrible fake German accent and announcing a stein-holding competition. Guys, if you didn’t know about this before, there is literally a US Steinholding Association. They have official rules and FAQ’s like,

Q: How much does the stein weigh?

A: A full one-liter stein should weigh approximately 5.5 pounds.

Q: How do you practice for a competition?

A: Everyone is different, and being in good athletic condition helps, but to put it bluntly, you basically just practice holding a stein a lot.

Q: How long should a normal person expect to last in their first competition?

A: Your typical guy can usually last somewhere in the 3-5 minute range, with ladies lasting between 1-2 minutes. If you can go longer than that, following all of the rules, you should definitely find out where to compete in masskrugstemmen so you can take a shot at qualifying for a national level competition.

Q: What is the world record for steinholding?

A: There isn’t currently a world-level competition, so we don’t know of any official world record, but the US national record is currently 19 minutes, 15 seconds, set by Deryk Lindsey at the 2016 National Masskrugstemmen Championships at the Steuben Day Parade and New York City Oktoberfest.

Anyway, the gist is, you hold a very heavy and large glass that is filled with beer and you do not tip, spill or drop it. Longest holder wins. Everyone was video-ing and cheering and the event host was heckling the guys to try and make them drop the steins. I even got a photo with the winner while he was wearing his winning hat and holding his winning beer!

No girls participated, and in hindsight I should have entered, even if I only held it 20 seconds! FREE BEER. If only I liked beer. When is the Oktoberfest for vodka?

The steinholding winner with his winning stein in hand!
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Miscellaneous

Mystery Date Night

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My boyfriend has many pitfalls, the main one, of course, being that he has an emoji for a face. But recently he has been KILLING the date-game, and I must give credit where credit is due. You may remember less than a month ago, when he surprised me with 4th row tickets to see The Book of Mormon in preparation for our trip to Utah. TBH, I didn’t think he could beat that.

He has asked me early last week for a “date night” on Friday. Color me impressed. That was already a huge improvement. Pre-planning a date? Allowing me more than 3 days’ notice to put it in my always-full social calendar? I was excited.

Friday morning, he texted me while I was at work and said, “I checked your calendar. You don’t have anything tomorrow morning, right?” That’s right, ladies and gents, we share Google calendars. We are the COOLEST couple of all time. But honestly, I don’t know what we would do if we didn’t; I have too many things going on! Luckily, I had nothing going on the next day, since the UF Football game was canceled due to Hurricane Irma.

Anyway, my interest was piqued. A date that requires no plans the next morning? Were we going on a trip? We don’t have a car! Were we going out super late? Sleep No More? He knows I get scared way too easily for that shiz.

I got home from work and he told me to pack a bag. SO EXCITING. I packed an outfit, a gator outfit for the next day (it doesn’t matter if they aren’t playing, #InAllKindsOfWeather), a swimsuit (you never know) and some makeup. Then we headed out to our chariot (aka our Via, SIGN UP WITH MY CODE emily5s6e for $10 off!) and he still kept it a mystery as we headed downtown. I cheated a little by looking on the Via’s GPS, but all I cleaned from my snooping was that we were going super far downtown.

We arrived at the Hilton Millennium hotel just as the sun was setting. My emoji-bf has many great qualities, one big one being he is a Hilton Honors Gold member, so we got the highest room available, on the 48th floor. The room was overlooking the Freedom Tower, the 9/11 Memorial reflecting pool, and the Oculus. I’d argue there is no better view within Manhattan. The best view of Manhattan is from New Jersey, but really, WHO GOES THERE!? The view of the Freedom Tower could not have been more timely, the weekend before 9/11. 16 years later and I still have so many feelings.

We settled into our room in the third-best Hilton Hotel in Manhattan, and checked out the room service menu. How do I know it was the third-best? Because emoji-man was very upset when he looked it up and found out. Turns out the Waldorf Astoria is #1 and The Conrad is #2, in case these things matter to you.

Anyway, the emoji-BF decided on this mystery date because of an Amex offer (more on his and my credit card churning another day), which said that if you spend $300 at a Hilton Hotel, you get $350 back. FREE MONEY! MY FAVORITE KIND! We needed to figure out a way to spend $40 more to get the offer, so we perused the room service menu for items to “fit the bill,” literally. Unfortunately, this is NYC and room service, a lethal combination. Nothing on the menu was that cheap. So we started looking for other options.

We decided to dine at Osteria della Pace, a southern Italian restaurant inside Eataly. The food was delicious and I had a glass of no. 139 dry rose cider, which was sort of like a sparkling rose champagne. Yum! What is one of the worst things that can happen while dining downtown within one of the World Trade Center buildings? OH YEAH. THE ALARM CAN START GOING OFF. And sure enough, it did. In the middle of appetizers, the lights started strobing and an announcement started. I’ve never seen New Yorkers shut up so quickly in my life. It was quieter than a subway at 5 am when everyone is still asleep. The only problem was, no one could understand the announcement! It was static-y and the guy speaking had a very strong accent. After about 30 seconds of heart-pounding panic, we heard one word, “disregard,” and there was a collective huge sigh of relief. Besides that, dinner was DELISH.

We decided to stop at the newly-opened Oculus on the way back to the hotel, since we had never been there before. We actually had no idea what it was, besides that it looked like an exoskeleton of an ENORMOUS animal. And that is cost a sh*tton of money to build (first budgeted at $2 billion, but rose to $3.9 billion by the end). We entered, and I was immediately dizzy. It’s crazy-looking! In between fighting people for a space to take a selfie – this is a V popular place for selfies, go figure – we realized it was a train station. It connects the NJ Path to the NYC subway. As I said before, I clearly never go to NJ since I did not know this. It smells there. Ok, it smells in NYC, too. But I digress.

After our selfie, we went back to the hotel where we watched parts of 3 different movies on 3 different HBO channels. Remember life before HBO Now and Netflix? Where you had to tune into a movie in the middle? Those were rough times. Anyway, we also ordered a bottle of wine to reach our $300 minimum. The bottle was $45 (we are SO fancy), but with the extra added fees, it was $62. Those hotels are fee-machines. Oh well. We didn’t even open it, but we sure felt fancy getting it to our room! If anyone wants to come over to our apartment to share, no guarantees on quality.

We went to sleep and planned to wake up to swim in the pool. Unfortunately, the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry, i.e. we overslept. We packed our bags up and headed down to the checkout.

After following my Snapchat/Instagram story and seeing the hotel view, no less than three of my friends texted me asking if I was getting engaged. To set everyone straight, I definitely did not get engaged. But I DID have an awesome night with my emoji-faced boyfriend. And for the record, mister, you have officially set the bar incredibly high if you ever do plan to “pull out all the stops” in the future. WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE. I sure hope you have another Amex Offer in the pipeline! In maybe a year. Or maybe more. 😉

Morning view of the majestic Freedom Tower.
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Travel

Park City, Utah

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Hello! My name is Elder LongLegsBigCity. And I would like to share with you the most amazing book…

JK, I did not turn into a Mormon missionary, but I did spend nearly 6 days in the beautiful state of Utah with 13 of my bf’s friends. I went on hikes, did innumerable flights of stairs at nearly 9,000 feet, took photos with multiple posters boasting puns about polygamy, and stayed in a 5-story home with a panoramic view of multiple ski slopes. Just look at the banner photo. Talk about #LifeElevated.

The emoji bf and I tend to have horrific travel luck, but the Mormon All-American prophet looked down upon us and blessed our journey and we departed NYC EARLY!! Unheard of. We arrived in Salt Lake City late on Wednesday night, met up with one of his friends, and took an uber to Park City. One of my bf’s friend’s family owns a house that they usually rent out, but lucky for us, it was vacant for (an extended) Labor Day Weekend. I got the grand tour when we arrived, and I don’t know if it was the lack of sleep or the elevation, but I actually got lost. There were 5 stories in this place! 6 bedrooms, 2 decks/patios, a shuffleboard table, a hot tub… I was floored. We arrived after midnight and the party had clearly already been going on for a while, but I skipped the drinks for the night and went straight to bed. When I woke up, I had a sleeping beauty moment when I saw on my phone it was noon. I thought I had woken up from a minor coma! Thankfully, my phone just hadn’t synced with the new time zone and it was only 10 am.

I sat on the balcony taking in the amazing view as I waited to meet up with my friend from middle school/high school/ college/NYC. She happens to live in Utah now, and she has an ADORABLE baby who I had never met yet. Luckily for me, she liked me enough to drive out to Park City with her husband and daughter to hang out. We spent the day eating amazing fried food, window shopping, and exploring the “downtown” area of Park City. Oh, and of course taking many many photos. We even saw a Banksy original! You think maybe my emoji bf is responsible???

The girl whose parents own the mansion where we were staying also have their own permanent residence in Park City in a neighborhood called the Promontory Club. Legend has it that the developer for the neighborhood went bankrupt in the middle of building, and when they same developer bought the land back (in foreclosure), he had so much extra money that he built these amazing amenities for the neighborhood to use. We decided to take full advantage of them. After a busy day in town, we went to the bougie AF clubhouse (“The Shed”), where they had an indoor bball/vball court, jump ropes, pinball, foosball, pool tables, and of course, bowling lanes. After working up an appetite, we ordered food and ate it outside as they turned on the gas fire pit that lined the patio. I didn’t quite break 90 in bowling… I probably didn’t deserve the pizza. Once the temperature dropped, we went back to the house and drank some more wine in the hot tub.

For some reason (time change?) I woke up early the next morning. A few of us took a trip down Shorty’s Stairs (actually, I did them 4 times trying to work off the booze from the prior night, this became a tradition), and we found this place called Little Donuts. The owner is a Michigan fan, which I will only forgive because these donuts were phenomenal. Fresh AND you could watch him hand dip and decorate each one made-to-order. They had a maple bacon one. I mean, come on. Clearly the 500 stairs/day were not going to be enough. After eating too many donuts, we put on swimsuits (thankfully I brought my one-piece) and headed back to Promontory, this time to “The Beachhouse.” There were 14 of us, and thanks to some A+ planning, we had rented a cabana, which we had all to ourselves with cookies, cheese, crackers and fruit. The best part was, the cabana was situated basically in the man-made lake, so as we took advantage of the free watersports, we could paddleboard/kayak etc. right up to our group of friends! We played some frisbee in the pool and soaked in the high-elevation rays before heading back to our mansion. After pregaming a little TOO hard, we walked down Shorty’s stairs to a tapas restaurant called Bodega 718/ We had picked up coupons for the restaurant earlier in the day, but (due to the heavy pregaming) we forgot them at the house. I offered to walk back to get them, which would also, hopefully, help me walk off the pregame overboard. On my way, I found an owl. I know what you’re thinking, I was hallucinating it. TBH, I thought I was, too! I walked right past it! But then I backpedaled and I was like, “nope, that is a f*cking huge owl.” His name was Hoot, and his handler informed me that he was, in fact a FAMOUS owl. He had a movie book full of photos of Hoot with the likes of Adam Sandler and Robin Williams (RIP). I am not an animal lover, but I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to take a photo with Hoot #DoItForTheInsta.

After my owl photoshoot, I got the coupons, went back to dinner, and proceeded to fight with my bf. I mean, what’s a vacation with your significant other without a fight, AMIRITE? Anyway, as I have already stated 20 times, I had too much to drink and it was a good time for me to go home anyway. I walked back to the house, got a cider out of the fridge, and read my kindle in the hot tub. Arguably one my favorite parts of the trip (minus the fight).

The next morning, I woke up early again. Wtf? Anyway, it allowed me some time to sweat out the booze again, and tackle Shorty’s stairs 8 times. Almost 1,000 stairs. Unfortunately, I did not know that this was the day we were going to hike. But hike, we did. At almost 10,000 feet. Luckily, the trail itself was not too challenging, and the views were totally worth it. I even hopped in the lake at one point, which was freezing since it is formed by snow run-off from the mountains. It was worth the adventure, and it was the one time we got a group shot of all 14 of us. On our way back up, we ran into a group of students from University of Utah (“Utes”), who were using a not-so-sturdy rope swing to jump into the not-so-deep lake. One of the guys said he hit his head on the rock. Then he tried to get us to try it. I decided that Saturday, Sept. 2, 2017 was not the day I wanted to die, so I passed.

We got home, showered, watched some football, and just as I was sure UF was going to lose (SIGH), we went to the girls whose family owns the house’s parents’ house (that’s a mouthful) for a BBQ. Since they also own the 5-story mansion we were staying in, I figured their full-time house may be more modest, but I was wrong. The place was GORGEOUS. It had a wrap-around deck where we could see the perfect sunset, a wine cellar, a “drive-through shower” (NEED this in my future house) and a firepit. We drank wine and Moscow mules, ate amazing burgers and brats, and then finished the night with more wine by the fire, while Amazon Alexa serenaded us. Oh, AND we made s’mores. Does it get more perfect than that!? When I was a kid, I didn’t think it got better than s’mores. But then I realized you can have them with a side of wine. SCORE.

The next day was low key because we were tired, and because it was HOT! It wasn’t humid, but being 10,000 feet closer to the sun makes for some high temps. We went into town for the weekly summer street fair called Park Silly. We didn’t last long there thanks to the temps, but we did find our way back to Wasatch brewery where they had $2 bloody marys. Somehow I only had one. Maybe I was tapped out for booze. Or maybe I felt guilty because it was Sunday and it was Utah. Or maybe it’s because it just tasted like tomato juice thanks to Utah’s liquor laws requiring no drink to have more than 1.5 ounces of booze in it. Anyway, eventually we went back to the house where we watched the new Baywatch. Incredibly underrated, if you ask me. The Rock AND Zac Efron? I mean, clearly 5-star-worthy.

Our last real night in Utah, we went as a group to Butcher’s Chop House, where we miraculously got a last-minute reservation for 13 people. The meal was great, and was made better by a BOGO deal on entrees. I can’t resist a good deal. I can, however, resist taking photos of food. I hate people who do that sh*t. So no photos. I got to know the restaurant well, since my bf forgot his phone AND wallet, so we went back twice. Once for the phone and wallet, once for the ID, which I had luckily reminded him specifically to check for since we were flying the next day. Another charming thing about Utah: they card everyone under the age of DEAD. So your ID is oftentimes out of your wallet. Once we had the ID, we stopped at No Name Saloon for a drink on the way home, as one does when they are relieved they did not lose their entire identity (aka phone and wallet) in one fell swoop. BF had whiskey neat (the strongest drink you can get in the whole state), and I had a bottle of cider, because anything on draught is less than 4% ABV. At that point, I was happy to be leaving the next day, back to the land of the alcoholic a.k.a. New York City.

The next day we cleaned up the house and headed to the airport, where we were through security before noon. Only problem, our flight wasn’t until midnight. Luckily for me, and to the sole credit of my boyfriend, I have started credit card churning (full blog on that another time), and therefore I had an AMEX Platinum Card that got me into the Delta Sky Lounge. (Highly recommend that card. USE MY LINK!) We had 12 hours of free booze, free food, and free wifi. I read the entire book, The Young Wives Club, and did some blogging. Watch out for my next Student Loan installment coming later this week!

Overall, I didn’t see too many Mormons except at the airport (disappointing) but I did have a blast. Also, any number of days where I am not breathing in NYC’s unique and trademarked mix of smog, trash, piss, and sadness is a good weekend overall.

Ready for our red-eye back to smelly NYC.
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Big City Living

September 11

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It’s been a rough few weeks. We’ve got pandemonium in Washington, DACA was repealed, massive fires in the west, Hurricane Harvey and Hurricane Irma; I ALMOST forgot that today is September 11. But I didn’t forget. Because I never will.

I was reading You’ll Grow Out of It over the weekend, and the author was talking about how she knew her relationship was the real deal: they “talked about where they were on 9/11 (the deepest conversation you can have with another person).” And it’s true. For everyone in our generation, it was a defining moment. It’s like how my parents’ generation always know where they were when JFK was shot.

I don’t want to make this a long post, but I felt like I couldn’t let this day go by without paying homage to what it is and acknowledging this day, my first September 11 since I started LongLegsBigCity.

I was in my freshman year econ class when the first plane hit. I didn’t believe it when my friend said what happened. I remember laughing and hitting her on the shoulder, telling her to stop f*cking with me. I was in English when the second plane hit the other tower. This time the TV was on in the classroom so I couldn’t deny it. I will never forget how I felt that day. Stunned is probably the best word. I grew up in New Jersey until I was 10, but then I moved to Florida. I had so many friends and family in the northeast, and I had walked by the World Trade Center many times. But at the same time, I was in Florida, so far away. It didn’t seem real. The one thing I distinctly remember was watching the news all day. It had been a half day of school, so starting at 1 pm, I was glued to the news. I had so much homework to do. School was in full swing because it started mid-August in Florida, and I was in the Pre-IB program, which meant basically that I did homework or was in class all but 5 hours of every day, when I took a short nap. But I couldn’t bring myself to do any work. I remember seeing people jumping from buildings on the news, on repeat, over and over again. And I thought to myself, “these teachers can’t possibly expect me to do my homework, can they??”

I have now lived in New York for 8 September 11’s and it does not get any easier. The mood is somber. The people are quieter. I haven’t heard a single mariachi band on the subway yet today. People are on edge. My friend told me that there was an unattended baby bag in the elevator of Deutsche Bank this morning and there were police all over it in under a minute. Even with the Freedom Tower standing proudly above all other buildings in the city, something is missing. Every time I watch Sex and the City (more often than I should admit to), the opening credits show the twin towers and it reminds me of what is missing.

It has been 16 years since that day. This year marks the year that I’ve officially been alive longer without the twin towers standing than I was alive before they went down. Seems crazy. Seems like yesterday.

But there are two good things about this day: It reminds me that we have risen above and we are still here, living and thriving in the best city in the USA. And it is also a day of unity. It reminds me that there was a time that we stood together, before all of the current craziness in the world. There was a time when people talked to each other on the subway, not just out of fear, but out of solidarity.

Today, try to be nice to someone. Or to one more person than you would on any other day. Give someone (correct) directions on the subway, even if it means taking out your earbuds. Swipe someone into the train with your unlimited metrocard. Smile at a homeless person. Give someone a 25 cent banana from a street fruit seller. And of course, never forget.

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Miscellaneous

Hurricane Irma

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Ladies and Gents, it’s looking more and more likely that the deadly Category 5 Hurricane Irma is headed toward South Florida and I am terrified for all of my friends. Also, I am GLUED to every meteorologist on twitter (Bryan Norcross, anyone?? What a silver/blond fox). Personally, I have been tracking the storm since Saturday, paying closer attention to the direction of the “cone of uncertainty” than I paid attention to any of my classes in college. Or high school. Or anything in my life, TBH. The one class I did pay extreme attention to in college: Extreme Weather; thanks UF for those interesting GenEd Science credits. I took that class the year of Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Wilma and I remember tracking them in class using cold and warm fronts, air pressure, wind speed and direction, altitude etc. Something about hurricane-tracking is mesmerizing. Maybe it’s the fact that we don’t really know where it’s going. We’ve all seen the meme about weathermen constantly being wrong.

Or maybe it’s the fact that it’s the one major devastating weather pattern that we can actually track days in advance. Talk about Must-See-TV… The Weather Channel LIVES for this! And one week after Hurricane Harvey, too. I didn’t forget about the thousands of people affected by Harvey, but I have a much more personal connection to Florida, so Irma has been catching my eye.

Irma is already record-breaking, with sustained wind speeds of 185 MPH. As a point of reference, the Saffir-Simpson scale, which measures hurricanes (common knowledge for a Floridian), has 5 categories of hurricanes with 5 being the biggest. Category 4 is 130-157 MPH, which is a 27 point range. Category 5 is over 157. Irma is 185, 28 points above that. Basically, if a category 6 even existed, it would be that. That is terrifying.

I moved to South Florida in 1997, hot on the heels of the last huge category 5 hurricane that hit Florida, Hurricane Andrew. Andrew hit in 1992, so you may argue that 5 years later was not “hot on the heels,” but I would disagree. I remember specifically the real estate agent mentioning hurricanes when we were looking at houses, because it was still on everyone’s minds. Would a house withstand wind gusts of 100+ mph? If we get a house with 20-foot ceilings and 20-foot windows, as almost all two-story houses have in South Florida, who would put the hurricane shutters up? Are the windows hurricane-resistant? I distinctly remember these questions.

If you didn’t grow up in South Florida, or any hurricane-prone region, you probably think I am nuts. Alternatively, you think Florida peeps have it all figured out because you have seen all of the memes that Floridians post about “preparing for a hurricane” aka buying beer and wine and downplaying the whole thing. But I can tell you from my very selective Facebook sampling of my South Florida friends – they are all officially freaking the f*ck out. Many of them are using the popular hashtag #Irmagerd. I had one friend who saw two armed police officers guarding the new supply of water at the grocery store. I have another friend who woke up at 3 am to try and beat the lines and fill her car up with gas, only to wait 45 minutes in line and then find out that all of the pumps were empty.

Social media can be both bad and good in these times of crisis:

Bad: Group hysteria. Horror stories abound. Also, sometimes fake news is shared. Don’t tape your windows guys, come on. I thought this was common knowledge by now.

Good: Keeping in touch with friends (until power goes out). Sharing preparedness tips and tricks, like this amazing quarter on a frozen cup of ice trick. Crowd sourcing any stores that still have water or propane. Finding AMAZING stories on twitter, like about the Delta pilot who flew his plane in and out of Puerto Rico yesterday between the bands of the hurricane. What a crazy person. Separate but related: I had my #bestdayever on twitter yesterday, I got 78 likes on a tweet about this pilot. I barely have 45 followers! P.S. FOLLOW ME!

My Famous Tweet:

I have some fond memories of my hurricane-preparedness in South Florida, and luckily, a big one never hit. Rather, I should say I never personally experienced one. Hurricane Wilma was pretty big and my family lost power for over a week. Also, the back windows blew out and my mom and brother evacuated to Atlanta. I was already at college at the time, so I didn’t personally feel the effects. But the fact that a big one didn’t hit when I lived at home doesn’t mean we didn’t prepare for a big one more than once. I remember filling the bathtubs with water, filling the cars with gas, stocking our canned goods and readying our internal camp-out room. We used to uninstall the shelving from the closet underneath our stairs, line the floors with cushions, pillows and blankets, and settle down in our window-less bunker, waiting for the hurricane to pass. My brother and I used to love hanging out under the stairs. Once, we even convinced our mom to keep the pillows and blankets in there as a play fort for an entire week after the storm. Luckily for us, it was all fun and games. And luckily, we were smart enough to be prepared every time.

So to my Florida BFF’s, BE SAFE OUT THERE!! And keep making memes. If you laugh, it’s harder to cry. And if, FINGERS CROSSED, this thing takes a sharp turn east and misses you, please still prepare next time. Better safe than sorry. Build your blanket fort and grab your beef jerky and transistor radio. I’ll meet you under the stairs.

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Long Legs and other Personal Problems

Student Loans Part Two A

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I want to thank everyone for reading my LONG first post about my student loans. I received some great feedback in the form of comments here on the blog, and also in the form of private messages from across the country. It means a lot to me that you took the time to read it, and that you are grateful I opened the conversation. I was incredibly nervous to talk about this, but I know from the response I received that I made the right decision. I decided to definitely add an entry (after telling my own story) to address some of the questions and comments, so please continue to give me your feedback and your responses so I can talk about them in a few weeks!

This installment is the most personal one yet because I talk about the staggering amount I actually owe. I know that there are many of you out there who owe more, and some who owe less, but no matter the exact number, it has an effect on our decision-making and our futures. Therefore, I am splitting this entry into two parts, with the second one addressing the impact my loans have on my decisions, and the compromises and concessions I make in my daily life. This stuff is depressing, and this blog is not called #LongLegsBigLoans, so I will try to intersperse these with lighter topics. As always, please subscribe and I welcome all comments. Also, if you know anyone else struggling in silence (you probably do, if you look at the numbers), feel free to pass it along! Thanks for reading ♥

Part 2 (A) – Amount of Money; Loans on Loans on Loans

Soundtrack: Bills, Bills, Bills by Destiny’s Child

“Can you pay my bills? Can you pay my telephone bills? Can you pay my automo-bills?”

Student loans are a generational problem caused by a hat trick of terribles: 1. Higher education is now necessary to get any sort of high-paying occupation, which it was not during our parents’ generation. 2. Education costs a sh*tton of money. Tuition has gone up 538% in the past 22 years! And salaries have not followed suit. 3. Banks and the Federal Government know that, and take advantage of it by charging astronomical and stifling interest rates, and not forgiving loans when they originally said they would. Some states have taken it into their own hands and have actually sued FedLoan servicing over their unethical practices, acting as the enforcer when FedLoans has repeatedly mis–charged borrowers and refused to reimburse them. Even the Massachusetts Attorney General called them out on their “unfair or deceptive practices.”

So let’s say you don’t actually get overcharged and you are just being “rightly” charged an arm and a leg every month for the indeterminate future. This installment is going to be about the sheer quantity of loans people carry. There are a lot of numbers at the beginning, so don’t let your eyes glaze over. The math will be over quickly and then I will explain in laymen’s terms how terrible this all is while I listen to the “Songs to Cry Too” (sic.) playlist on Spotify. Spoiler Alert: there’s a lot of Ed Sheeran.

People are afraid to say the true magnitude of their loans, so I’m going to start by just straight saying it: I currently owe $92,907 in federal loans and $6,713 in private loans. Total Owed = $99,620. In a few months, it will undoubtedly be 6 figures. I finished law school with $86,702 in federal loans and $12,000 in private loans. Let that sink in, I went from $98,702 in loans when I graduated, to $99,620 at the current time, 4 years later, and I have made thousands of dollars in payments over the years. My federal loans have literally increased by over $6,200 despite the fact that I have paid hundreds, and at some points, thousands of dollars to them every month since I graduated.

The good news is, some states are trying to curtail this problem by offering free tuition to state schools (GO NEW YORK, GO!). The bad news is, there are no such programs for graduate school, and if you go to a grad school, you’re basically f*cked. Americans owe over $1 trillion in student loan debt, spread out among about 44 million borrowers. That’s about $620 billion more than the total U.S. credit card debt. Approximately 40 percent of the $1 trillion student loan debt was used to finance graduate and professional degrees. Also, the interest rates on grad loans are higher.

There may not be any state-funded programs for grad schools, but there are still some scholarship programs or merit-based options. I received $39,000/year in scholarship from Brooklyn Law School. That means that if I did not have that scholarship, I would have completed law school with a whopping $216,620 in student loans. Just think about that for a second. If I did not have scholarship, I would have left school with the amount of loans that could pay for a nice, suburban home.

I cannot believe I just admitted that I had that much money in loans. As you read in Part One, one of the major emotions associated with loans is shame. But really, why?? Everyone has them. Or at least 70% of us do. What about the people who didn’t have scholarship? I was almost one of those people. I applied to 10 law schools, and I was accepted to 7. Many people suggested that the decision was simple: go to the highest-ranked one. For me, that was Boston University, ranked 20 at the time. Top 20 school, they said. No brainer, they said. However, BU didn’t offer me any financial aid. I decided not to go there, and that decision was based solely on money, not at all based on the fact that I saw a roach when I toured the building. (Ok, the roach probably made an impact, too.)

In hindsight, especially since I do not work in law anymore, I think I made the correct decision. But how would I have known that for sure at the time? Anyone I asked advised me to go to a better school, one that would improve my marketability, and therefore improve my job prospects, and therefore would improve my earning potential. When I was applying to and choosing between law schools, the conversation of student loan repayment almost never came up. In hindsight, that seems incredibly short-sighted and a bit unbelievable.

I was speaking with a friend who does not have any loans recently, and I was pitching the idea of writing about this topic. I cited a few vague statistics, noting that I owed about $100K, and that I had a combined $120K in scholarship. He looked at me like I had 5 heads, and he said, “What? That can’t be, that means that people can graduate from law school with over $200K in loans!” It seems crazy, but it is entirely possible. Brace yourself for some more math here; it’s basic, don’t worry. Tuition is $50K/year., which means 3 years of law school = $150K. That leaves only $50K for room and board for 3 years if you want to leave school with only $200K in loans. That means $16,666/year. Let’s say you live in a modest apartment in New York with roommates, for about $1,000/month (what a great deal!). That means your rent is $12,000/year, not including utilities, and that leaves you $4,666/year for food, utilities, metrocard, oh, AND BOOKS. Which can be $1,000/semester. Basically, there is no way you can get out of law school with only $200K in loans if you don’t have scholarship. And then school ends and the interest hits you.

Last year, my dad was asking me questions while filing my taxes (thanks again, daddy!), and he asked me, almost incredulously, “you didn’t happen to pay over $2,500 in interest on your loans this year, did you?” I basically laughed in his face. OF COURSE I paid that much in interest! Thankfully, the one place student loans come in handy is when you do your taxes, thanks to the big break you get for interest. But the fact that my own father had no idea that literally ALL of my payments I make toward my loans go ONLY to interest, shows the ignorance that most people without loans have about them. Last year I paid $5,500 toward my federal student loans. Of that, $5,500 of it went to interest. That’s right, all of it. Here is a screenshot of my payment to my federal loans from June of this year. $462.32, $0 of it applied to the principal.

But this brings me to my next obvious point: the reason some people cannot empathize is because they do not have any first-hand experience. I talked about this in Part One dealing with emotions, so I won’t say much about it here, but those who do not have loans just don’t think about it. Their world doesn’t revolve around these monthly payments, so they don’t realize just how much of a lead weight it is for so many people.

I have one friend who told me she used to pay student loans 8 separate times throughout the month until she consolidated them recently. Talk about a constant reminder. She was basically hemorrhaging money EVERY FOUR DAYS. According to CBS Money Watch, students typically end up with five to seven different loans at graduation. Each one can be for a different amount and carry a different interest rate.

I have another friend who told me her monthly student loan payment is higher than her mortgage. She lives in Utah, but STILL. For those of us not in Utah, or those of us without spouses, how are we supposed to purchase homes, build families, or become independent humans, when we are paying ridiculous amounts every month just to stay above water? It really is a huge problem.

THE MOST DRAMATIC BLOG POST CONTINUES NEXT WEEK!! Stay tuned and subscribe; next week I will explain the small and big ways I try to save money to stay above water, as well as the huge life decisions that will be impacted by my student loans: career, family, home, retirement, basically everything. The following installment, I will tell my personal story about which repayment plans I have opted into, and out of, and how I am using free credit card offers to pay off my private loans. $$ FREE MONEY! $$

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